tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post2379246436098332506..comments2024-03-24T18:43:18.706-04:00Comments on Darwinfish 2: Eye, the Jury Pt. 3bluzdudehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05991272670722362652noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post-26033521249474350632011-02-17T20:00:11.610-05:002011-02-17T20:00:11.610-05:00This was a rape and robbery trial. No, this was n...This was a rape and robbery trial. No, this was not a group of poets. The objection came from a juror who questioned witness credibility. WE took her objection seriously.Mary Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07436313849372588111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post-21615303981287439802011-02-17T18:20:16.710-05:002011-02-17T18:20:16.710-05:00Jessica,
A woman, stuffed with child such as yours...<b>Jessica,</b><br />A woman, stuffed with child such as yourself, would have no problem getting excused from service during <i>voir dire.</i> The last thing the judge wants is to risk a mistrial because a juror went into labor. And I bet the last thing either attorney wants is a hyper-hormonal woman judging the fate of the defendant.<br /><br />Now, for being a non-pregnant frequent pee-er?<br /><br />All I can say is one time during a change in witnesses, one lady got up from the jury to pee and was directed to sit back down. All jury comings and goings are strictly regulated once court is in session.<br /><br />The judge made her wait right then but gave us a 5-minute potty break soon after. So basically, if you make your needs known, I believe the judge will accommodate.<br /><br />For me, I didn’t want it to become an issue. Normally I have a Diet Coke with breakfast, and follow it up with a 32-oz jug of water when I get to the office. With this routine, I <i>always</i> have to pee between 10 and 11. So while I was on jury duty, I skipped the second drink. I had no problem, then, holding it until lunch.<br /><br />Contrary to current popular belief, if we for some reason fail to nurse a bottle of water all day, it doesn’t mean that we will dry up and blow away like that guy in the cave at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.<br /><br /><b>Mary Ann,</b><br />I’m afraid that I’d go off on someone that was using s ridiculous argument and disregarding the facts. I don’t put up with dum-dums very well.<br /><br />Who did you have on your jury, a dozen poets?<br />Hey, is there a term for a number of poets, like “flock”? A gaggle? How about “a prism of poets?”<br /><br />And boy, they sounded pretty long-winded in Colonial times… Probably because there was nothing good on TV and they were all out of witches to burn.<br /><br /><b> *uncorked,</b><br />Wow, do they let lawyers go on a jury? You’d think the trial attorneys would nix any other lawyers from the jury because you’d know all their tricks. <br /><br />I was very proud of my notes… would have been more so if they were actually legible… but I had a great system. They gave us steno pads to use, with the line down the middle. So I used one side for the testimony and the other side for the cross examination. I made other abbreviations as needed: 1W = first witness, 2DW = second defense witness, etc.<br /><br />I know… not exactly ground breaking, but not bad for seat of the pants note taking. From what I could spy from the others, no one else was using the split-page system.<br /><br />And thank you for standing up for “Prosecutrix!” I love that idea. Too bad you and the Faux Trixie disagree. Wait… LAWYER FIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!”<br /><br />Nah, just kidding. I love you both and I’m glad you came to comment. Should I have any more superfluous questions about prospective legal terminology, I’ll be sure to recall you both to the stand.<br /><br /><b>Judie,</b><br />I’ve been spending my daily $15 on lunches, mostly. Plus some discounted Valentine’s Day candy. Went to Hooters for lunch yesterday and worked on my crossword. I totally go there for the fish sandwiches.<br /><br />Did you know you have to claim your jury duty payments as earned income on your taxes? I didn’t know that, until I filed my 2009 taxes last weekend. That was one of the areas you could check. I had no idea. But if I have to claim the income, I should be able to deduct the lunches. Unfortunately, I only do the short form because I don’t HAVE any other deductions… no kids, no house, no interest payments… But on the bright side, there’s very little on which I can be audited.<br /><br />I was also afraid I’d get picked as foreman, that’s why I was panicking. Maybe next time I’ll wear nothing but snarky T-shirts and ratty jeans.<br /><br /><b>Cher,</b><br />I’m a multi-tasker, what can I say?<br /><br /><b>Mundane,</b><br />I thought that particular juror would make a good foreman because she wasn’t bashful, she could command the room, and she seemed to have some sense. And she asked good questions from the jury box.<br /><br />I didn’t dehydrate myself for weeks; just on days I was on duty. I’m committed to the process, but not THAT committed.bluzdudehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05991272670722362652noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post-67744872044368670712011-02-17T15:55:50.786-05:002011-02-17T15:55:50.786-05:00Why did you pick that person to be foreman?
And a...Why did you pick that person to be foreman?<br /><br />And also, do you think there's a market for a toilet book about proper juror etiquette? I'm sure those attorneys would be pleased to know you dehydrated yourself for weeks in preparation.Unapologetically Mundanehttp://www.unapologeticallymundane.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post-8166300114901455442011-02-17T13:36:28.745-05:002011-02-17T13:36:28.745-05:00Bluz, it really is too bad you did not get chosen....Bluz, it really is too bad you did not get chosen. But then, if I were on the side of the Defense I would have noticed you eyeing that attorney and maybe not paying so much attention to the case, which of course you did. :)Cher Duncombehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00070334939399949702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post-34755414503200340252011-02-17T12:12:46.365-05:002011-02-17T12:12:46.365-05:00Bluz, what are you going to do with all the money ...Bluz, what are you going to do with all the money you made as an Alternate?<br />Too bad you didn't get picked. You would have been awesome! And then you would have been picked to be the foreman, naturally.Judiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02778815502961000469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post-7129451282652152302011-02-17T10:38:23.768-05:002011-02-17T10:38:23.768-05:00What's a trial?
I think I should know things ...What's a trial?<br /><br />I think I should know things like that. I haven't been in a courtroom in ages, but have tried to get jury duty on more than one occasion. I'm proud of you for taking your Alternate Juror duties so seriously. My notes would probably look like my notes from law school which had little stick figures being hanged or shot or stabbed and listing elements of a crime. What can I say, I learn by visual representations of crimes.<br /><br />Thanks for the shoutout buddy! And I disagree with Faux Trixie, I think a female prosecutor should indeed be called a "Prosecutrix." In fact, even though I am not a prosecutor, I'm going to assume the title.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02722750268752897790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post-9196157178216658982011-02-17T10:14:37.780-05:002011-02-17T10:14:37.780-05:00"Colonial" for Buster is "You idle,..."Colonial" for Buster is "You idle, indolent, unindustrious, uninterested, unintelligent, uninformed putzeroni". <br />That's why all proceedings, including legal took so long.<br /><br />Look out for "Fast Eddie Ferris". Already a Bruiser.Mary Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07436313849372588111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post-45414926658625921632011-02-17T10:07:34.811-05:002011-02-17T10:07:34.811-05:00Jury deliberation is a real education. You're...Jury deliberation is a real education. You're absolutely right about voting anything just to go home. This happens too often, with horrible consequences.<br />My jury experience was two full days of discussion to accomodate one not guilty vote. We had to be unamimous. The panel treated the objector with seriousness, patience and consideration. I left in awe and appreciation of the process.Mary Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07436313849372588111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post-41477769451024412912011-02-17T09:29:28.044-05:002011-02-17T09:29:28.044-05:00That was my biggest fear of getting selected for t...That was my biggest fear of getting selected for the jury... having to pee. What do they do if a jury member has to pee? Especially right now, I'd be up and down every 30 minutes until they dismissed me.Jessica R.http://www.leelafish.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post-16741259805728258732011-02-16T23:30:49.363-05:002011-02-16T23:30:49.363-05:00Sherry,
Thanks. And just wait until you see my Fr...Sherry,<br />Thanks. And just wait until you see my Friday morning post, where I go through the case and give my observations and discuss how I'd pitch the room.<br /><br />I think I would have been a good juror too, unless everyone else was acting unreasonably. I don't have any reason to think that, though. There were a number of bright people on the panel.<br /><br />I wonder, though. I read about what happens with a number of juries... how sometimes the logical arguments aren't the ones that sway anyone. And how others just vote with the group, so they can get the hell out of there.bluzdudehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05991272670722362652noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post-17938098153912256372011-02-16T23:22:12.095-05:002011-02-16T23:22:12.095-05:00Not one attempt at witty from me tonight. The trut...Not one attempt at witty from me tonight. The truth is, I think that case lost out by not having you on the jury. You would kick ass on any jury. I know few people who would give it the full attention and analysis that you would. Next time, Bluz.sherry stanfa-stanleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00680055033925659511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post-16820221001580392762011-02-16T21:38:12.330-05:002011-02-16T21:38:12.330-05:00Faux Trixie,
Thank you for clearing that up. But ...Faux Trixie,<br />Thank you for clearing that up. But it's too bad... "Prosecutrix" has such snap to it... especially on a business card.<br /><br />Oh God yeah, I would NOT want to be on a jury like that. Probably end up snoring in court.bluzdudehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05991272670722362652noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post-89285408639435221572011-02-16T21:32:03.057-05:002011-02-16T21:32:03.057-05:00I'm pretty sure a female prosecutor is just &q...I'm pretty sure a female prosecutor is just "prosecutor."<br /><br />Also, welcome to the world of litigation. I do civil litigation, now specializing in toxic tort. You want to talk about BORING examination, I have to spend days in trial listening to chemistry testimony for hours. Be lucky you're not on THAT jury.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post-72856000792329283962011-02-16T21:11:41.358-05:002011-02-16T21:11:41.358-05:00Quiet is overrated.Quiet is overrated.Cassiehttp://www.whosmydaddy.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post-25081244056945436842011-02-16T21:02:33.589-05:002011-02-16T21:02:33.589-05:00Mrs. Bachelor Girl,
They had to dismiss me... I wa...<b>Mrs. Bachelor Girl,</b><br />They had to dismiss me... I was the 3rd alternate that they use us in order. It wasn't something I can take personally. (and remain rational...)<br /><br /><b>Cassie,</b><br />Wasted latex and tweaked nerves, that's for sure. But we worked it out. Or... I should say, worked it IN.<br /><br />Yo, I never got caught either... that was the big difference between me and my brother... we both did stupid shit, but he and his friends got caught all the time.<br /><br />You and me would have been stealth. Stealth AND witty. That's a killer combination, as long as "quiet" is not required.bluzdudehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05991272670722362652noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post-53471635345992545922011-02-16T20:54:08.862-05:002011-02-16T20:54:08.862-05:00Ouch to the above comment, Bluz. Ouch. Poor wasted...Ouch to the above comment, Bluz. Ouch. Poor wasted latex.<br /><br />Congrats to your cousin! That's so exciting. What a big boy! Poor Mama's hoo-ha, that's all I'll say about that.<br /><br />And to add on to previous post comments, I would have gotten you into so much trouble because no one ever knew it was me who did the bad things. Ever. I'm just that good.<br /><br />And I'm witty. Damnit.Cassiehttp://www.whosmydaddy.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post-55337148313442704822011-02-16T20:52:45.252-05:002011-02-16T20:52:45.252-05:00They dismissed YOU?
Well, I hate to break it to ...They dismissed YOU? <br /><br />Well, I hate to break it to them, but their team is going to SUCK.Mrs. Bachelor Girlhttp://www.bachelorgirl.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post-75487683831321043862011-02-16T19:16:30.178-05:002011-02-16T19:16:30.178-05:00Trash,
I used to have a girlfriend back in college...Trash,<br />I used to have a girlfriend back in college... she was a virgin and I swear, we had so many "false starts" that I thought she had a bet with her girlfriend over who could get their guy to open the most condoms, without ever having any sex.bluzdudehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05991272670722362652noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-329507352453931374.post-14684109978468493462011-02-16T17:49:29.205-05:002011-02-16T17:49:29.205-05:00Wow that is almost as bad a putting a condom on an...Wow that is almost as bad a putting a condom on and then nothing happening. <br /><br />Congrats on the arrival of your cousins baby.Oilfield Trashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00527580828815598952noreply@blogger.com