We just got home from Pinky’s brother’s house, where her family exchanged gifts. One of her brothers received an assortment of candy dispensers, all shaped like the Lord of the Rings characters. Know what I said?
“YOU SHALL NOT PEZ!!!”
It killed.
My parents came into town this evening and are at my brother’s place, which is where we’ll be going tomorrow for Christmas. There will be good food, good booze, good boys and much merry-making. I’m looking forward to it.
So now, let me take the opportunity to wish you and your family a happy Christmas, and thank you for stopping by, not only now but all throughout the previous year. Your coming here means more to me than you can ever know.
As my gift to you, may I present my favorite Christmas carol of all time (which is totally NSFW).
(Yeah, I know I posted it in 2009… so I re-gifted…)
The pez line killed me.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas!
Thanks Jess, that was some of my finest work. Which is sad, when you think about it.
ReplyDeleteThat was hilarious! "Thou shall not pez!" I love it!
ReplyDeleteMad,
ReplyDeleteIt just dawned on me that I should have stood up, pointed, and yelled the line, but I wasn't at all sure how that would have been received. After all, Pinky's other brother had just received deer dressing knives and 12-gauge ammunition for Christmas.
Dan got that Pez set, as you know because I tweeted it. The "YOU SHALL NOT PEZ" replies (there were two) slayed him.
ReplyDeleteRed Pen Mama,
ReplyDeleteSo this should prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I came up with it first! When I saw your tweet, I had to decide whether I wanted to direct you here, or just say the punchline. Obviously, the punchline won.
If I pez, am I going to hell?
ReplyDeleteI did manage to write my Saturday Centus on time, and if you've a mind to, you should read it. Actually I want you to see photos of the twins, and at the top of my right sidebar, photos of our dog children, taken on Christmas day, complete with captions.
I am exhausted, and on the "good drugs" so I'm going to take a little nap!
Your Hot Arizona Auntie
Mr. Garrison makes everything better. Or at least awkward-er. Cheers to you and yours with this post-holiday toast! Merry Christmas
ReplyDeleteJudie,
ReplyDeleteI'll be right there.
Beer,
Thanks Bryan, same to you. You and your brother crack my shit up every freakin' week, and that's my toast to you!
Hahaha...those are some intense pez dispensers. Happy Holidays!
ReplyDeleteGia,
ReplyDeleteYeah, they all look pretty serious, except for Gollum, who looks positively overjoyed. Perhaps he found his "Precious."