Great Flaming Jesus Afterglow

Now tell me that wouldn’t make a good band name…

Disclaimer:  If you found this post after searching on “Lawrence Bishop Drugs”, please be advised that you probably want the post immediately preceding this one.  Not that I wrote anything about drugs there either, but you will find my post on the Great Flaming Jesus Incident.

Holy crap, it’s been one interesting week.  Tuesday’s post about the 62-foot statue of Jesus getting hit by lightning and burning down drew the most hits I’ve ever gotten since I began this blog.  I have The Google to thank for that, because by sheer dumb-ass luck, I seemed to have figured out how to draw Google hits by doing something I’m sure everyone else that’s been blogging for more than 15 minutes already knows.

You know in the last post how I mentioned about a half-dozen Google searches I got hits from?  The mere fact that I listed them in the post brought a ton more hits from the same search. 

(brick drops on head…)  So if you use a phrase that Google suggests via drop-down menu when you search for something, it will bring your link under many, many noses and you will get many, many hits.  I’m sure it also helps that Blogspot is a Google-sponsored platform so they have an interest in promoting their affiliated sites.

I got 106 hits on the phrase “Lawrence Bishop Drugs” since Tuesday.  Yet I never wrote a single thing about the church pastor and drugs, other than quoting a blog hit I got from that particular search.  OMG, now I just did another one!  I better put a disclaimer up top.

You know, I think I read something about that in a “How to Blog” post, but it just struck me as artificial, so I never did it.  I couldn’t see myself stringing together a bunch of buzzwords and trying to build a post out of it.

However, I did like what this little quirk did for my weekly stats:

Welcome to “Spike City”.

I also got 33 hits via Facebook, but I have no idea how.  I never posted a link there.  I even tried to search it out myself and couldn’t find it, so I don’t know how anyone else did.

You all know I’m a stat-monster, so I’ve been just flipping over the hit tally.  (Hits = Popularity = Someone Loves Me.)  Now I get to go around for a week saying, “Hey, I just doubled my average hits per day this week, I’m pretty hot shit!  Where’s my pipe and smoking jacket?  Everyone in the hot tub!”

Yes, I know, with the low stats I usually have, how hard can it be to double traffic?  I know I’m still pretty low-rent, but it’s an improvement for me, and I’ll take it. 

What would really be cool is if some of the rent-a-hits would actually come back.  I’m not holding my breath though.  Only three that visited via searches left comments.  All were favorable, which surprised me.  I’m sure there must have been some Solid Rock Church supporters that found the post and went, “Glory be, am I ever in the wrong place…  This boy’s going straight to H-E-Double Hockeysticks, so I better click my ass out of here before I’m guilty by association.”

At first I thought the whole thing was going to be like that time Red Pen Mama wrote about the Health Care Reform debate and it got picked up by the Wordpress home page.  Then she got hundreds of hits and comments, many of which were hostile. 

Anyway, now we’ll have to see what becomes of Great Metal Jesus Skeleton.  I have a couple ideas for its use.

First, they could add some pistons and stuff and make it into a Terminator T-100 knockoff: “The Saviornator.”

Or on the other hand, they can weld some more shit onto it and make it like that big “Transformer Goalie” they have back in Pittsburgh, along the river.

Either option has got to be better than building another abomination like the one that just burned up.

In a very late and semi-related note, further evidence of the existence of a benevolent God came to pass last week, besides the smiting of the Touchdown Jesus:

(Image lifted from ThePensBlog a couple years ago.)

Congratulations to the Chicago Blackhawks for preventing the Stanley Cup from being defiled by that unwashed horde from Philadelphia.  Game Seven Cup-winning goal in overtime…  That’s divine intervention.

And for the Flyers fans, never let it be said that I am without compassion: