The Long Game

 Earlier in September I wrote about the crap-TV shows I can’t stop watching, the 90-Day Fiancé franchise. I mentioned how I chafe at the storylines involving American women marrying Arab/Muslim/African men who expect obedience, subservience, and second-class citizenship. Describing the storyline that’s just developing this season, I wrote:

“There is a couple this season, where the 40ish American woman is going to Jordan to marry her 22–year–old beau on the very day she arrives because his religion won’t permit them to be alone together in a room. This story is just getting underway and she has no idea what he will expect of her. This is basically a “boy” who told the cameras he wants her to always obey his wishes and not question him as the man of the house. And he needs her to cover up with loose clothing

I think she ought to spank his 22-year-old ass and send him to his room without dinner. These stories always seem to end up the same way, with the American women taking a powder either before or shortly after the wedding.”

Well, they did, indeed, get married the day she arrived and as expected, she’s chafing at the new rules about which she’s just now finding out.

To me, it’s beyond comprehension that someone intending to marry into this (or any) foreign culture didn’t take five minutes or so to Google what it’s like for a woman to live in Jordan (or wherever.) The guy always seems to hold back on the details of his expectations until after it’s too late. In last night’s show, the woman reacted harshly after finding out the rules her boy-husband gave her did not apply to him.

She was upset because

·         She was told she couldn’t hug or shake her long-time (male) friend’s hand, yet he shook her hairdresser’s hand immediately after.

·         He criticized her outfit as being too revealing (there was the faintest hint of cleavage) while his shirt was unbuttoned to his midsection.

·         He wouldn’t listen to her concerns.

·         He occupied their room getting himself dressed, (meaning she couldn’t because he had his friends there), and was then furious because he had to wait for her to change.

·         He insisted she be covered to his approved level wherever she went, whether in Jordan or back in the US. But he can wear whatever he wants.

He was upset because:

·         Her clothes were too revealing, and when they did conceal what he wanted, they were too tight.

·         She insisted on sitting up front in the car with him, while his brother had to sit in the back.

·         She questioned him about his “rules,” rather than happily accepting them.

·         She was not swayed by his and his brother’s default explanations, “But I’m the man.”

Meanwhile, I’m left yelling at the television, saying, “Honey, what the hell do you expect? How did you not check this out beforehand? How it is possible that no one you know told you this might happen?”

I mean, for Pete’s sake, take some initiative and responsibility.

At least, I take some comfort in knowing this is one set of people and there were probably side issues regarding the creation of TV episodes, with which I’m not familiar. You can’t take everything at face value with these shows. They want you to get all worked up about it.

But it got me thinking about how this dynamic is exactly what our modern conservatives are trying to recreate in this country. Every new law or movement that restricts the rights of women, no matter how small or isolated in scope, is a chip away from the fading standard of gender equality. It’s a bedrock principle of the Heritage Foundation and Federalist Society types. They want women out of the workplace and back in the kitchen with babies on each hip, leaving men to remain free to make all the important decisions, so they don’t have to worry their pretty little heads.

I recall our Democratic presidential nominee once asking a prospective Supreme Court Justice/Bro, “Can you name any laws that place restrictions on what a man can do with his own body?”

The Republican gambit is that if you control the health care, you control the women. Hence Sen. Vance (SS/OH) is resurfacing this old tactic:

This is why you can’t believe them when they say, “But we’re not after birth control.” Yes, they are. Just watch their actions. Plus, one of the SCOTUS Bros has already made it clear they want to go after Griswald.

Constrict health care.

Limit birth control.

Ban abortions.

Limit post-natal aid, child care, SNAP.

Attack women’s very right to vote.

Attack breast-feeding in public.

How long before they try to repeal the laws that gave women the right to hold property, get loans, or credit cards? How long before they start selling petticoats and bloomers at Forever 21?

These things add up to putting women under duress, in a state where all they can do is fight to survive, unless, of course, they can find a man to take care of them.

And there it is… The Incel’s wet dream… to rescue a woman who must then submit to his control.

This is where the GOP is taking us… to a place not so far from Jordan, Saudi Arabia, or Iran, as far as how they treat their female citizens. Well, maybe not citizens… more like pleasant-smelling property.

The Republicans are playing the long game. They started immediately after the Roe decision and never let up until it was reversed. It took over 50 years but they kept at it, collecting enough state legislatures, governorships, and occasional presidencies until they had a willing Supreme Court. They created “news” outlets to radiate their toxic point of view, be it with misdirection, propaganda, or outright lies.

And because they’re playing a long game, they’re counting on young people growing up with abortion restrictions being seen as commonplace, while those who remember winning reproductive freedoms are dying off. Eventually, the whole struggle will be limited to history books, and we know what they do with those when they include history the Right doesn’t care to remember.

And here we are. They’re not done and neither should we be done resisting, for as long as it takes. The very fate of our mothers, sisters, and daughters is riding on it.