One (hundred) Days at a Time

On Wednesday, The Felonious Guy reaches the lauded 100-Day mark of his administration Reign of Terror. Only 100 days.

[sigh]

It feels sooo much longer, doesn’t it? When was the last time you got up in the morning without worrying what the MFer did this time? Every day, it’s a new test to see if you can withstand the latest assault on America. We’ve seen tariffs, sky-high prices, destroying federally funded science, schooling, rolling back safety precautions regarding our food and the environment, general bellicosity involving invasion threats to Greenland and Panama, and I could go on for the rest of the page, but it’s just too depressing. Also, arresting judges, threatening law firms, human trafficking, selective prosecution of anyone who dares criticize him, and gutting services to Americans to trade off cutting taxes for those who have the most already.

Sorry, the rest tumbled out after I meant to stop.

America has become a laughing stock, no longer an anchor at the Cool Kids’ Table. He can’t even make it through a funeral without embarrassing himself. There he was at the funeral of Pope Francis, shining blob in his blue suit amidst a sea of mourning black. And the putz falls asleep, right in front of everyone.

(No, do NOT tell me he was deep in prayer. That guy wouldn’t know how to pray for rain if his ass were on fire.) He’s checked out. If they’re not kissing his butt, he’s not listening.

If you need more proof that Melania is checked out, it’s the fact that she didn’t wake him up. She could have at least offered a nudge or two in the ribs to get him back among the living. Or maybe a stiletto heel to the top of the foot.

I think the people in charge of Vatican funerals put him up front on purpose, just to highlight what a low-forehead clown he is.

But yes, the 100 Days… That means today we’ve got 1362 more to go, assuming he isn’t re-re-elected or self-appointed in 2028. There is so much more time for who knows what damage he’s prepared to do. Three years down the road, we may be looking back at THIS as the Good Ol’ Days.

Today, resistance is most certainly NOT futile. It’s a requirement if we’re going to live in a people’s democracy ever again.

Sundowning

Meanwhile, the Conservative Media continues its psychological influence operations. The Sinclair Media-run Baltimore Sun laid some cards on the table last week, if you know what to look for. In this case, it’s the one bit of local good news. Naturally, they buried it on page 8 of the paper, bottom left corner.

You’ve got all the Ugliness/Incompetence in Baltimore stories front and center, and the part where the city came off the 25 Most Dangerous Places in the US list is placed where it’s most likely to be overlooked. You gotta hand it to them… they keep coming up with new ways to claim even more turf for the richest Americans. Stay tuned; soon you’ll see an OP/ED asking for Jeff Bezos to buy Baltimore outright and use the infrastructure for Amazon warehouses and storage. They can’t wait to hand over the keys to the kingdom to one of their own kings.

And today, we have this adventure in Headline Distortion:

This is a story about how Democrats are working out amongst themselves how to move forward, with David Hogg and the new crowd looking to make big changes, shake things up, and usurp the Old Guard. And the old guys, naturally, won’t go without leaving claw marks on the door frames.

The headline suggests something else, though. “While Dems search for identity…” OK, the usual Dems in Disarray story, “Lawmakers take a different approach.”

See what they’re doing? The Dems are over here, while the Lawmakers are over there, even though the story is literally about Democratic lawmakers. But the headline suggests they’re two different things, and they’re at odds. If you read the article, you find out what the real story is, but so many people only glance through the headlines on their way to the sports and comics. The headline is often the only impression they get from the paper.

It’s kind of like they used to do with magazine ads back in the 70s and 80s, when they’d bury subliminal messages in the periphery or add sexual imagery in the markings on the ice inside a glass of Scotch. (They may still do that, but with the lack of circulation in print media, they probably can’t afford it anymore.) They are designed to leave an imprint in your mind, whether you actually absorb the ad/story or not.

The Hacky Habits of News Aggregators and I Can’t Even

I’ve used Yahoo News pages as my home screen and main news site since I got my first computer in 1999. It’s not so much loyalty as it is inertia, because I haven’t made much of an effort to find a better one.

But some of the things I see there get right on my last nerve, so I thought I’d complain about them a bit and see if you agree.

The I’s Have It

One of the things that drives me the buggiest is the use of “I,” “me,” and “my” in the headlines, thus putting the author in the middle of the story. Like two of these here:

Plus another:

Listen, I don’t care how a story affects some rando content provider. Who are you, and why are you in the story? This happens a lot with Buzzfeed stories, but it’s common elsewhere. While scrolling through today’s news items, I saw this construction more than a half-dozen times. It’s a lazy way to make your article seem relevant to the reader. And to add insult to injury, the article is never as jaw-gaping as they make it seem.

It’s even worse when they use the “and I’m Here for it” trope. Like, “So and So Wore a Nice Dress and I’m Here for it.” Look, no one cares where you are or for what purpose. Leave yourself out of the narrative and just cover the red carpet, OK?

It’s Drafty in Here

Another article I skip 100% of the time is anything about an NFL “Mock Draft.” (An example is in between the I-stories in the first graphic.) The headlines always make it look like big news, a scoop of epic proportions. Now, I’m as interested in the draft as any chronic football fan but I also know that these mock drafts are just the opinion of a couple of sportswriters, sitting in an office somewhere, with varying degrees of expertise. And the chances that they actually know what the draft participants (GMs and owners) are thinking are nil. Team decision-makers keep that shit close to the vest until it’s time to announce their picks. These self-important draft prognosticators don’t know any more than a reasonably informed fan who has a good idea of what his favorite team might need that year, which is to say, he doesn’t know jack-shit. It’s a guess, marketed as inside information. I pass, every time.

Picture This

They do this a lot, too… adding a celebrity headshot to a story that has nothing to do with the pictured celeb. It doesn’t even have to be a celebrity pictured; often, it’s just some attractive model type who is unrelated to the content. More clickbait and switch.

Taylor-Made Stories

In this day and age, anything Taylor Swift does becomes news just because it’s her. And now, with her taking a break from the public eye, now that her record-breaking tour is over, they’re desperate for Taylor content. Hence the above story, which, for all the sizzle, comes down to, “Sports reporter’s husband says thanks to Taylor for hooking them up with VIP tent access to one of her shows.” That’s the story. There’s absolutely nothing of substance there. It’s like any time someone says anything about Ms. Swift, it becomes an article. Hypothetical example:

Headline: Taylor Swift in Health Crisis?

Substance: Taylor told a friend that she had a headache.

Film at eleven.

Here’s another similar one:

The gist of this story: “Taylor has a famous friend and they’re keeping in contact via text.”

Really? Tell me more! Are there emojis involved? What kind of font are they using?

This article demonstrates another device I hate. This is prevalent whenever the subject is a musician, but especially with Taylor Swift. They always use this construction: “The 'Bad Blood' singer says…” They did this three different times in this one article. By including mentions of specific songs, they hope to draw internet search hits (for the song mentioned), thus boosting the article’s profile. And the rub is that anyone landing on this article due to a song search will be disappointed because there is nothing in the article that has to do with their topic of interest. So, essentially, they use cheap tricks to game the system rather than produce quality content that gets circulated organically.

No News is Good News

Then we have the stories that are completely un-newsworthy, like this:

Translation: Somebody somewhere said something stupid. It’s not news, it’s something that happens thousands of times per day. Professor X says something radical. Local shop owner prefers cats to people. Local blogger hates broccoli. This is completely news-free filler that only becomes news because someone wants to use it to make a point. For example, right-leaning news sources will always jump on any story that makes students or educators look bad, to bolster their ongoing opposition to an educated population.

In the story above, the content creator is trying to wealth-shame some woman who obviously has it too good. It’s another attempt at creating clicks out of those seeking the comeuppance of others who are more well off than they are. And it’s not really news.

Clickbait Headline Constructions

I despise the use of the phrase, “Breaks his silence…” Joe Blow Breaks His Silence on Hot Topic. Was there really a “silence” before, or had they just not addressed an issue yet? I mean, there are millions of topics on which I can “break my silence,” because I didn’t care about them, or maybe no one ever asked. It’s not something I’ve been hiding; it just hasn’t come up yet.  It’s a device to make something look like a bigger deal than it is, so you’ll click the link and inevitably become disappointed that you’ve been served another nothing-burger.

It’s the same thing with “Reveals…” “New Orleans Native Joe Bleaux Reveals His Favorite Gumbo Spot.” Is it really a revelation, or did he just mention something? To me, nothing should be “revealed,” unless the subject is quoted as saying, “Tadaaa!”

They also like to use this for random female body parts. Like, “Shake it Off Singer Taylor Swift Reveals her Right Knee.” And you read the story and it’s like, “As she crossed her legs, Ms Swift’s dress shifted a skosh and her knee slipped into view.” It’s just one more way to make something seem more important than it really is.

Unless they can get an exclusive interview with the other knee, to see how it feels about being covered up.

Headline: Taylor Swift’s Knee Involved in Cover-Up and I’m in Shock!

And Finally

RIP to the late Pope Francis, who I will always consider the Least Destructive Pope of my lifetime. The man fought to bring a little empathy and scientific awareness to the Church and was fought every step of the way by the Vatican bureaucracy. After this experiment, I’m sure his successor will be far more conservative and promptly roll the Church right back to the 16^th century.

The SAFE Act is Dangerous

Republicans are actively marginalizing women, and they’re not even trying to hide it.

Did you see how their “SAFE Act” passed the House? Otherwise known as the Screwing All Females Effectively Act, the bill contains nefarious provisions meant to look like they’re solving the non-existent voter fraud issue but are actually erecting barriers between probable Democrats and the voting booth. One part is removing the vote from married women who have changed their names. (Or anyone who has changed their names for any other reason, which is one more way they can stick it to the Trans community.)

The requirement is that one must prove their citizenship by providing a birth certificate, which matches enrollment information exactly. Obviously, that jams up anyone who went from Jane Smith to Mrs. Jane Jones. To solve this self-made crisis, the alternative is to provide a valid passport. That leaves literally millions of women without the opportunity to vote, short of a costly and time-consuming effort to acquire duplicate official documents (from a government that is shutting down agencies right and left). This is an obvious attempt to deter women from voting (who may be livid over their eroding reproduction rights or other professional diminishment):

Now, the contents of this bill have been public for months. Republicans and Democrats know what’s in it and what it does. Still, there were no substantial changes made to it before passing the House. That means this is not just some oversight or mistake. One major party wants to slash the number of women voting. There is no other logical (non-head-up-Fox’s-ass) way to interpret this. And I’m apoplectic that there were four Democrats who went along with the bill, who must have been bought off, threatened, or horse-traded into compliance.

And unless the Senate makes a change, they’ll be in on it too. So, like I said, this “side-effect” is no accident. They mean this, and they want it bad.

To overcome a filibuster, they will need seven Democrats to accept this bill. I just hope that’s a bridge too far, but I’ll never discount the lengths the Republicans will go to consolidate their own power.

This should be a front-page story in every newspaper, and so far, it’s barely made a blip, thanks to the new chumminess between mainstream media and the administration. No one seems to care.

This needs to go full Red Alert, with pressure brought to bear on the Senate. Otherwise, this is yet one more way the Republicans are rigging the next election. I’ve been pointing it out for the last couple of posts now. They wouldn’t be engaging in such unpopular actions if they were worried about being voted out in 2-4 years. 

But they’re not, they’re dismantling Social Security, killing weather research and storm reporting by defunding NOAA, spiking prices of goods and services, picking up brown people on sight and sending them to foreign prisons, killing caps on insulin and bank fees, and other malevolent actions that make an average citizen’s life worse and more costly. Usually, the threat of getting voted out prevents the most egregious things, but not this time. They are unconcerned about more elections because they know that if the deck isn’t sufficiently stacked for them, there won’t be any more elections.

I hate being such a naysayer, but you can see the results for yourself. These aren’t normal times, and they call for a heightened response. All those Hands Off protests were a good start, but we need to be more forceful in reminding these pols that they work for US, not the other way around.

At least they used to pretend to, anyway.

Biden’s "Inflation" Looks Like a Bargain Now

Welcome to Tariffland! Can’t you just feel the impending greatness of it all? So here we go down the rabbit hole… TFG (The Felonious Guy) released his tariff program that included most of the world, including islands with no human inhabitants and another with only a US military base. And nothing for Russia, of course.

It’s comforting to know that this program was so well thought out and agonizingly constructed.

Hah.
We went grocery shopping this past weekend, and the prices haven’t seemed to change drastically. However, they may only be applying the price increase to new shipments as they come in. I bet it’s hard to reprice a whole grocery store.

The car industry is different. Sweetpea and I were out buying a new car the previous weekend. It wasn’t because of the tariffs; it just happened to be the weekend we penciled car shopping into our calendar a month earlier to replace her old beater. Our timing was fortuitous. The car salesperson told us that when the tariffs are officially announced, every car on the lot will increase in price. Most will rise by 25%; the model we wanted would go up by 40%.

I was astounded and perturbed that they would apply the new tariffed price on cars already on the lot, which should have been unaffected by the new pricing. I think the new car business was trying to make a maximum impact to provide the biggest shock, with hopes to get the Idiot in Charge to back down in the face of protest. But that won’t happen. Not only doesn’t he care about what peons like us think, but he’ll never admit he’s wrong, especially about something to which he’s pinned his reputation.

I think that unless the tariffs disappear within the month, we’d better get used to the new pricing in our new reality because it’s not going back.

Look at what happened with the COVID/Supply Chain problems of 2020-2022. Consumer prices skyrocketed, but then, once the supply crunch was over, the prices stayed put. We were conditioned to pay the new rates, and the business owners certainly weren’t eager to mute their new profits. Republicans rode to power on the misconception that President Biden was to blame for high prices. So do you really think that down the road, once this situation returns to something normal, everyone is just going to slash prices? Nah. It will take years and probably some legislation for that, and we know that about half the pols won’t lift a finger because it would be bad for the rich donor class.

Another angle is the purported purpose of the tariffs: to bring back American manufacturing.

This is a pipe dream. Even if companies wanted to pull out of foreign nations and build new factories here, and that’s a HUGE “if,” it would take years to come to fruition.

And what if they did? There’s a reason they exist overseas, and that’s because the labor is cheap. If they build here, who’s going to do these jobs, and for how much? If they pay a livable wage, enough to entice average Americans to do these jobs, the resulting cost of the product would soar. And if they find a way to make it legal to pay skut-wages, they’re also driving out all the immigrants who might have taken the jobs.

Is the objective to make things so dire that people have no choice but to take two or three low-paying jobs just to get by?

No matter how this shakes out, we’re going to be paying this tab for a long time.

The most realistic projection I’ve heard is that TFG is “open for business” regarding negotiations over reducing the tariffs. That totally tracks because it becomes a “What’s in it for me?” situation. And no one embodies “What’s in it for me?” more than the Current Occupant.

Meanwhile, our former trade partners are making deals elsewhere, and we’re about to find out that America may not be as indispensable as we think. Maybe it will be the entire world’s ill will toward us that will keep us warm at night.

***

I loved seeing all the Hands Off protests from around the country. It’s a shame I didn’t see a word about it in the local newspaper Sunday or today. They’re still trying hard to keep the Orange Shyster propped up in the news. Look at this clipping from Sunday:

This is what they think is a front-page story: The President’s poll number had risen four points before his tariffs were announced. So… there!

They don’t mention any polling done afterward, nor do they mention that the polling is from the conservative-leaning Daily Mail. They also claim his status rose 6 points with Democrats, which I absolutely do not believe. It’s another puff piece, plain and simple. (And for shit like this, I pay $5.50 for the Sunday edition.)

But… back to the protests. I saw a lot of wonderful signs, but these two were my favorites and will no doubt reside on my sidebar for months to come:

Science!

Now, this lady’s living her best life right there. You go, Grandma! 

***

Lastly, RIP to Val Kilmer, who passed last week (right after I dropped my last post. I enjoyed reading all the blogged tributes. But out of all the big screen reminiscences, only Lawyers, Guns, and Money even mentioned my favorite of his movies, Top Secret.

Top Secret was a comedy made by the Airplane guys. I believe it came after Airplane but before Naked Gun and Hot Shots. It was a spoof of Elvis and WWII movies, featuring, as you’d expect, 90 minutes of sight gags, wordplay, satire, and 4^th wall breaking.

I remember seeing the trailer for it during the previews before another movie and almost choking from laughter. I couldn’t wait to see it, but alas, it was a very early preview. The movie didn’t come out for like another 6-8 months. But boy, it was worth it.

For some reason, it seems like very few people have seen it. I can’t count how many times I’ve had conversations with people about how much we loved Airplane, but then they’d never heard of Top Secret.

This was Val Kilmer’s first film, and he played an Elvis-like character caught up with the French Resistance in WWII Germany. Don’t feel like you have to know Elvis movies to appreciate this one. I’d never seen a single one and it was fine. Of course, years later, I dated a girl who loved Elvis movies so I saw one or two. She never understood why I was laughing my ass off though, when I finally saw the source material for various scenes.

Anyway, if you like the Airplane/Naked Gun-style comedies, or would like to see a young, vital, rock star-playing Val Kilmer, check out Top Secret. You can find it on YouTube.