Doctors and Vacations Don't Mix

As an offshoot of my bout with atrial fibrillation in May, I went back in to see my cardiologist for a follow-up.  The good news: the old tickers is fine.  The bad news: I have to start acting like a grownup now and get some wellness care.  (Meaning maintenance drugs.)

First off, I know my blood pressure has been creeping up. I get a reading every time I give blood or otherwise see a medical professional, so I’ve seen the pattern. That the doc wants me on BP medicine did not come as a shock. In fact, I’d already been working on lowering my sodium intake.

Now, I never put salt on anything (but French fries), but have you seen the sodium content on prepared foods? Holy crap! Just about everything I buy from the grocery store is loaded with sodium. One can of Campbell’s chili has over 1600 mg, and most Progresso soups have over 1000. You’re only supposed to have 2000 mg per day, and probably less if you’re trying to lower your blood pressure.

I’ve been buying lots of “no salt” canned vegetables and “reduced sodium” soups. They’re better for me, but unfortunately they taste like sawdust. I had to consult with Sweetpea to help me make my side dishes taste like anything.

So I was ready when my doc prescribed BP meds for me.  (Lisinopril, to be exact.)  I also had to go buy a blood pressure monitor so I could take daily measurements and report them to my doctor every week.  I got one for Sweetpea’s place too, so I didn’t have to schlep mine around every weekend.

He also had me get some bloodwork done, which I haven’t had since around 2009.  My cholesterol was in the high range… just barely, but still high. (And the “good” cholesterol was barely too low.)  So I’m on cholesterol medicine now too… Crestor. 

The bloodwork also showed a problem with my triglycerides. I don’t know what those are but I have way too many of them. No pill for that; only way to address that is to lose weight and drink less.

And there it is… That’s why I avoid doctors the way I do. Total buzz-kills, and I mean that literally. Obviously, I’ll have to seek an exemption for football season.  I’ll see if there’s any wiggle room.

I’ve been on the meds now for just over a month.  Good news: my BP is way down.  The meds are doing the job. The bad news: I have one of the common side effects… persistent dry cough.  I asked him give me something else; we’ll see if it kills the cough. Just started taking it on Friday. No change with the cough yet but the BP is still good.

Another ramification of my follow-up is that my doctor hooked me up with a primary care physician, right in the same hospital complex.  I haven’t had a PCP, pretty much ever, so this is a big development.  I’m happy that whatever comes up, I’ll be in a facility that can handle it so I won’t have to be sent all over hell’s half-acre for different services.

I met with her for an initial consultation last week and we hit it off well.  Hell, it was almost like a first date, with all the relating of personal history.  But it’s time that I get with the program and start taking better care of myself.  I want to have a lot of time with Sweetpea before I get old and decrepit. 

And as I feared, our discussion led directly to the Big C. 

You know… Colonoscopy.  I knew I was five years past the threshold so I’m overdue.  I’m not exactly looking forward to it but I realize it’s inevitable. But when she asked me when I wanted to schedule it, I was like, “It’s gotta be before the end of the year.”

She looked at me like she was surprised by my rush.  I said, “That heart treatment this year filled up my insurance deductible. I’m in the sweet spot now, with the insurance picking up the bulk of the bills, so I want to fit in everything I need before December 31^st.”

If they must shove something up my ass, I’d rather not be the one paying for it.

On the bright side, we decided I wouldn’t need another prostate exam, without the appearance of symptoms indicating that one is required. I think I high-fived her. You really have to appreciate all of life’s little victories.

So there I was, all ready to make life changes and commit to good health, but there, standing in my way, was a week’s vacation in Ocean City.  Sweetpea had a friend with a condo for rent down there, so there we went… me, her, and two of her friends (a guy and a girl). 

This was the back of the place, with up and downstairs decks. Gorgeous.

Seriously, no one should have to start a new healthy lifestyle during a week in a beach house.  I know I ate stuff down there that I never eat at home.  The snacks were totally on point.

These were just the snacks Sweetpea and I brought.  Similar quantities were provided by the other two guests as well. To look at our countertop, you’d think someone handed a hundred-dollar bill to a 9-year-old and said, “Go get some food for your treehouse.”

Our first full day down there came with the threat of heavy rain, which was supposed to start around 1:30. We decided to hit the boardwalk for a couple hours before the rain began. 

There are all kinds of odd places on the boardwalk and it’s funny about the things you consider when you’re on vacation.

YOLO, right?

Wrong!  After careful consideration, I decided, “Oh HELL no.”

The rest of our board walking didn’t work out though… Rain started early at 12:30, so we did the only reasonable thing. We took refuge in the nearest bar. After a couple drinks, it looked like it was letting up, so we made a break for it. Bad choice. We got soaked running back to the car.

Note to Doctor: Today I went for a run.

Things started clearing up on Tuesday, enough so we could get in a round of mini-golf.

Note to Doctor: Played 18 holes, and didn’t even use a cart.

Wednesday and Thursday were gorgeous, so we spent the morning and early afternoon on the beach. At one point on Wednesday, I posted to Facebook:

Beach status check:

Times in water: 1

Times crushed by wave: 2

Saline in nasal cavity? Yes. Note to Doctor: I’m staying hydrated.

Water in ear? No.

Lost contacts? No.

Lost hat? No.

Sunburned? No.

Sand in every crevice? Well, shit…

Families of goobers set up directly between us and the water? 2

I wanted to move our chairs up and sit right in front of them.  See how they like it.

So the results of the beach experience were mixed.

After beaching, it was time to go out and get some libations. Because it was too early for “Happy Hour,” we went to Happy Lunch instead. That’s like Happy Hour with sandwiches.

The “guy” part of Sweetpea’s friends was the guy she texted the day we met when she saw me at the bar and wondered what my name was. They’d been friends for more than 20 years.  I only knew him as the jolly Ravens fan from the other side of the bar.

When we were at the condo, I said to him, “In your wildest dreams, did you ever think you’d find yourself in a beach condo for a week with “That Steelers asshole over there?”

No surprise there.  Besides differences in football allegiance, we also had another significant difference:

I don't know how the dude even sits on a barstool without falling off. That’s a serious “Costanza” wallet right there.

He and the other girl left on Thursday, which gave Sweetpea and I some time to ourselves in the condo, which was nice.

In other news, Sweetpea wants to get our own beach house, so I’d better get to work.

This was the longest amount of time we’d ever been together without a night apart.  We both wondered if it would work, or if there would be problems. We were delighted to find that we could have kept going.  Granted, it’s a vacation on the beach, not the daily grind of working, commuting, household chores and complaining about the utility bills.  So it’s not really a fair comparison to a long-term living situation. But is sure wasn’t a disqualifier either. We are both optimistic for our futures together.

As long as I can stay healthy, that is.  Oh, that reminds me:

Note to Doctor: I played another 18 holes, still without using a cart.  And I had to use steps, too (to get up onto the pirate ship.)

A Shameless Plug

As some may know, my friend Sherry Stanfa-Stanley spent a year doing her 52/52 Project, in which she did one thing outside of her comfort zone for every year of age. She did things like going to a nude beach, zip-lining, acting as a street mime, crashing a wedding and a fraternity party, and going into a sensory deprivation tank. 

After first blogging about her experiences, she then wrote an honest-to-God book about them.

The book was released last week and I was thrilled when my copy arrived.  I was even more thrilled that I turned up in one of the stories (page 300) and in the acknowledgments. The acknowledgment stemmed from a comment I made to her from THIS blog in 2011, which may have just instigated the whole shebang. 

But the “Bluz” angle aside, the book is a real hoot to read. Trust me, you’re going to want to go along for the ride.  She’s one of the bravest people I know.  There is zero chance I’d do even half of the things she tried.  You can order it from Amazon by clicking the link: Finding my Badass Self. 

You can either tear through it in a couple hours, or read it more… incrementally.

The Limitation of Statues

You have to stand in awe at the ease that conservatives are able to change the conversation from a topic they can’t defend to one they can.

Remember how we were arguing about whether Nazis and white supremacists were bad?  The Republican leadership can’t defend them and still seem rational, yet they are the base that they dare not alienate.  So what are we arguing about now?  Tearing down Confederate statues, aka: “erasing history.”

That’s one the guys at the bar can get behind… “Gee, no, we shouldn’t erase history; that’s what an overreaching, out-of-control government does.”

Thus does any criticism of their side become another symptom of the federal government-run amok.

Very crafty.

Essentially dishonest, but still very crafty.

First of all, the Confederate statue angle of the alt-right demonstration was a sidelight.  I mean, what were they chanting, after all?  “Protect the Confederate statues?” 

Nope.  It was “Jews will not replace us.”  Not exactly a Confederate war cry, was it?

The statues were an excuse.  This was a white power rally, pure and simple, for which there is no rational, 21^st-century defense.

Secondly, this “erasing history” thing?  Complete BS.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.  You can take the statue down but the history (of an event) is always there.  I mean, somehow we remember the history of events that never had statues in the first place, don’t we?

There is a difference between remembering history and celebrating it.  And there is no good reason to celebrate the darkest part of our nation’s history.

Not satisfied with the initial fallacies, the Nazi apologists started trying to get cute with the analogies.  Like this one:

Dudes, there is a difference between a tomb built by slaves thousands of years ago (on another continent) and a contemporary glorification of those who fought to preserve the right of white people to treat black people like cattle, barely more than a hundred years ago.  The two cases are not remotely similar, other than to a poorly educated mind.

The same goes for comparisons to the founding fathers.

No, there is no tearing down statues of Washington and Jefferson.  I hate to use the “product of their time” argument, but it applies.  It’s just the way things were in the mid-1700s.

BUT, when large factions of the nation accepted that black people were “people” too and should not be owned, they did not trigger a secession from the Union and go to war in an effort to keep that ownership intact.  Granted, they were dead by then, but this is an exercise in logic and reason, not a literal representation.  But that’s why they shouldn’t be lumped together.

The founding fathers built a nation; the Confederates waged war to tear it down so they could continue to treat sentient people like property.  That’s why one set of statues need to come down and the other does not. 

The rest of these absurd comparison arguments should be torn down and warehoused right beside the statues.

Last week, as you may have heard, the city of Baltimore removed the four Confederate statues that stood within city limits.  They did it smart… they just went in overnight, unannounced, and took them down and stored them.

Two years ago, following that SC church mass murder, Baltimore’s then-mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake commissioned a study on that very action.  And in the year and a half since it came back, no one took any action.  I liked Mayor Stephanie but I wish she would have stepped up like our current mayor, Catherine Pugh, and just got it done. 

Both current and previous mayors are African-American, as is most of City Council.  I don’t know what the hell they were waiting for.  They were going to get grief from pissed off rednecks either way; might as well be sooner rather than later.

I’m not often proud of Baltimore but I am this week, at least until the next video of police planting evidence.

And I was heartened to see some other cities follow suit, though.  Maybe this thing has legs.  Sure, there will be protesting, but I think it’s more important to be on the right side of history.

And this side will be remembered without having to put up any more statues.

On Many Sides

“On many sides.”

Those three words show the lengths our supposedly “straight-talking” president will go to avoid alienating his racist base.

Does “two” count as “many?”  I always thought “many” meant “a lot.”  But I can only count two sides in the Charlottesville atrocity. 

On one side, you have a thousand white nationalists, Klansmen, and garden-variety racists, carrying torches, bats, clubs, guns, and wearing armor.  On the other side you have a couple hundred people with signs. 

Yeah, it’s those hippy sign-wavers who are the troublemakers…

Fuck off…

News item: Riot breaks out when white supremacist demonstrators attack peaceful counter-protesters. Woman killed and 19 injured when racist plows car into crowd.

Fox News Angle: 20 hippy activists damage young Patriot's car.

Trump had one chance to get it right and condemn the hateful attitudes that created this mess.  But no, he had to appease the dirtbags who put him in office… the people whose support he actively courted before being forced to disavow them.  But he didn’t really disavow anything, did he?  He kept right on spewing the nonsense that attracted the racist right in the first place.  They understood it was just lip service.

Just like this weekend’s mealy-mouthed condemnation.  Immediately after he uttered those three cop-out words, the alt-right websites (which I refuse to name or recognize) lit up with comments about how he didn’t condemn them, and that he supported what they were doing.

Grand Wizard David Duke himself reminded Trump that he’d best stay on the idiots’ good side:

I would recommend you take a good look in the mirror & remember it was White Americans who put you in the presidency, not radical leftists. https://t.co/Rkfs7O2Ykr

— David Duke (@DrDavidDuke) August 12, 2017

At least some of these self-important dicks are starting to feel the consequences.  As pictures surface online and on Twitter, people are attaching names to the protesting white faces, who are then getting fired.  No, it doesn’t really change anything.  It’s doubtful any of these dipshits will reflect on what they’re doing and change their beliefs.  More likely, they’ll just blame it all on radical liberals and the media.  Like that’s something new…

And if you think Trump made weak excuses, he’s got nothing on the people getting named.  I’ve heard more convincing rationalizations from grade-schoolers.

It’s funny how they keep repeating the bullshit about not wanting to lose “white culture.”

What the fuck is “white culture” anyway?  Peanut butter sandwiches on Wonder Bread and small dicks?

And to think, all it took to bring blatant racism bubbling to the surface in 21^st century America is a black guy getting elected president.  And then having a TV show huckster with sufficient lack of shame to cozy up to the poor threatened white males and promise he’d fix it all by sticking it to non-white people.

The bottom line is that the Republicans now own this.  They recruited this faction, they promised them everything on the racist wish list, from building walls to killing government aid.  They blew dog-whistles for two years before the election and the dogs came running.

To say that they don’t represent Republicans or conservatives is disingenuous.  In 2017, racists define the GOP.

That’s a fact that everyone who voted for Trump has to face.  No matter what alibi they tell themselves, they got in bed with a man proposing racist solutions to exaggerated ills. 

Maybe they were so laced with greed that they sought to lower their taxes even further, despite knowing millions of others would lose their insurance.  Or maybe they came from Republican-ingrained military careers.  Or maybe they just couldn’t stand Hillary Clinton for whatever reason, while giving Trump a pass on the same charges, (like being loud, abrasive, corrupt, immoral or mean).

It doesn’t matter.  For whatever the reason, people who voted for Trump prioritized these alibis higher than the result of what blatantly racist policies would do to fellow Americans.

That makes them no better than the racist, torch-waving alt-right pinheads.

Republicans, this is what you wrought on America. 

You bought it, own it, you fix it.

This is me, not holding my breath.

If Fox "News" Existed Before 1996..

You’ll notice that I give Fox “News” a lot of crap.  Believe me, it’s well earned.  They are not an outlet for anything resembling “journalism,” and what they broadcast can only be considered “news” in the broadest sense.

What they are is a mouthpiece for conservative talking points; nothing more and nothing less.

And really, their philosophies are malleable.  As soon as a Democrat adopts one of their points of view, they change it so that they are still in opposition to progressives.  (Remember that the idea behind Obamacare came from the GOP congress in the early 90s.  Mitt Romney, himself, instituted it in Massachusetts.  But as soon as the Democrats adopted the idea, it became a liberal, socialist scam.

There are only two kinds of stories you’ll see on Fox “News,” or read on their websites:

·        Those that promote Republicans or a conservative agenda

·        And those that criticize Democrats and highlight apparent failures of a progressive agenda.

It doesn’t matter what else is going on; if they can’t label it as one of the two of these, they ignore it or only cover select aspects.

And this is because Fox exists for only two reasons:

·        Creating new Republicans

·        Engaging, enraging and maintaining current Republicans.

Take a hurricane, for example.  Most networks will run stories about the devastation, heroic efforts to save people, or government efforts to address the crisis.

Watch Fox and you’re guaranteed to see outraged reports on the looting, usually black people.  That’s the part that plays to their base.  Every time Fox viewers see black crime, it translates to “Freakin’ Democrats…”

Look at last Thursday night. While other news channels were covering the Grand Jury being convened to investigate Donny Jr.’s date with the Russians, Fox was busy covering… well, pretty much anything BUT that.

As I was considering this situation, I began to wonder how Fox might have covered other major historical events from before it came into existence.  Before long, I had some ideas…

News Item: Berlin Wall comes down

Fox Angle: Radical liberals remove wall, compromise security to allow horde of commie refugees.

News Item: Nixon resigns.

Fox Angle: Hippie reporters use Fake News used to oust American Hero. 

News Item: Moon landing.

Fox Angle: Fanciful program begun by Democrats spends millions, adds to the deficit, and then finds no usable natural resources.  Wasteful spending!

News Item: Space Shuttle Challenger explodes after lift-off.

Fox Angle: Forced diversity causes millions to go up in flames as shuttle leaves a Challenging hole in the federal budget.

News Item: Civil Rights Act of 1964 passes.

Fox Angle: Democrats open the door to massive voter fraud.

News Item: OJ acquitted

Fox Angle: Reverse-racist jury lets a killer go free.  

News Item: US Olympic Team’s “Miracle on Ice.”

Fox Angle: Reagan surges in polls, inspires American skaters to beat favored Commies.

News Item: Reagan assassination attempt as shooter tries to impress Jodie Foster.

Fox Angle: Liberal Hollywood’s assault on Screen Legend President!

News Item: Rodney King beating.

Fox Angle: Policeman injures hand while subduing criminal.

News Item: San Francisco earthquake of 1989.

Fox Angle: Infrastructure crumbling out from under feet of radical-liberal California.

Outrage Overload

You know, maybe Donald Trump IS an evil genius, who’s got politics in America stone cold figured out.

Aside from spouting salacious and obnoxious tweets like a jukebox with Tourette’s, he’s happened upon a foolproof strategy to pretty much do whatever he pleases.  The secret?

Provide so much material for outrage that it overwhelms any who would object, straight to the point of total ineffectiveness.  Just look at the sheer volume of issues, any one of which an opponent could use to rally the troops to fend off.  There’s so much, there is no logical defense.

Here’s a short list, just off the top of my head:

·        The Russia Thing: colluding with a foreign superpower to rat-fuck a political opponent and steal the election for the nation’s highest office.  The multiple investigations are ongoing, including the fake ones run by Republican-dominated Congress, and the real one with the Justice Department-appointed Special Prosecutor.  This is the only issue with legs unless Trump finds a way to fire the Special Prosecutor and install his own lackey to dismantle the investigation.

·        Attempting, already, to influence, bully and coerce the Russia investigation into absolving him and his family of blame.

·        Discrediting our own intelligence agencies when they provide anything that can be considered “bad news.”  Like, “We intercepted a call your campaign manager made to the Russian ambassador.”  How can we use legitimate intel on the world stage if the president is denigrating the integrity of our spy network?

·        Bringing in industry hacks to cabinet positions for the express purpose of neutering oversight, rolling back regulations, and clearing any obstacles to unfettered corporate profit.  In particular, defanging the EPA, by bringing in an energy industry executive like Scott Pruitt and getting rid of all the climate, fossil fuel, and nuclear scientists.

·        Purging scientists at all the rest of the cabinet departments, to hire big business yes-men.

·        Ditching the Paris Accord on climate change and forfeiting our leadership role at the table.  Allowing the United States to become the laughing stock of the civilized world.  Other countries consider us a small-minded, provincial, selfish and short sighted little nation, long on muscle but short on brains.  Alienating allies and aggrandizing our traditional enemies.

·        Displaying far more interest in producing a “win” than producing an effective health care bill.  And this is the “family values” party, who is supposed to heed and revere Jesus above all else.  (At least that’s what the florists and bakers say before denying services to a gay couple.)

·        Claiming to respect the Constitution, yet doing everything he can to undermine the First Amendment with respect to religion and more aggressively, criticizing a free press for doing what it’s designed to do.  Freedom of the Press is more than supporting Fox “News” (when they agree with you.) 

·        Continuing to campaign and hold rallies 8 months after the election.

·        Continued obsession with Hillary Clinton (regarding alleged crimes) and margin of victory (in losing the popular vote.)

·        Refusal to release tax returns, which could show where the money sources are and what foreign countries hold IOUs.

·        Self-enrichment at taxpayer expense, by taking most every weekend off to visit his own properties.  (Yes, he may stay free, but the taxpayers have to pay for his security, entourage and other staff.)

·        After criticizing the amount of golf Obama played, going out and playing even more golf (at his own courses, of course.)  In 27 weeks, Trump has visited his own resorts 41 times and played 17 rounds of golf.  In comparison, Obama played 11 rounds in the same 27 weeks.

·        Insufficiently disassociating himself from his business.  His leaving it to his sons to run is hardly a sufficient buffer.  Foreign governments are already springing for fancy suites in Trump properties, to curry favor with the president.

·        Already looking into pardons for his family, staff and his own self.  That may be the new normal… Get into office, profiteer your brains out, siphon as much money from the treasury as possible, then pardon all involved.

·        Imploring the police to abuse suspects while they’re in custody.

·        Lastly, a complete inability to tell the truth about anything!  And then combining attacks against the press or anyone else who would dare to fact-check, so that even when the lies are reported, his base won’t believe them.

What we have here are so many outrages, it’s impossible to even begin to press for change.  By the time any one item garners attention, two new outrages arise to gobble up the news cycle.  And two more after that, and two more after that.

I mean, look how long Reince Priebus’s resignation was a story.  That lasted right up until new Communications Director Scaramucci shot his mouth off in a taped interview, blamed the reporter, and then resigns/gets fired himself.

And while all these outrages blend together in a sea of chaos, the new Powers That Be are working behind the scenes, to scoop up federal cash, strip public protections and lay waste to our natural resources, in homage to the almighty dollar and unrestricted profit margin.

The funny thing is that this is the best we can hope for, for the next three and a half years.  Sure, Trump may finally do something that gets him impeached, (I doubt the GOP would ever have the balls to turn on one of their own), but the result would be even worse.

Without Trump, we will have Mike Pence left in charge, who with blissful diligence and homage to both Jesus and big business, will go about completing the Republican pipe dream with efficiency and clarity of purpose.

In Pence’s world, women’s’ uteri will be more stringently regulated than a Fortune 500 business. 

So I’m just going to sit here and root for the chaos to continue.  We’ll all be a lot safer in the long run until we have a shot at flipping the House and Senate in 2018 and taking back the presidency in 2020.

In the meantime, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

Survey Says: The GOP Wants Us Stupid

A survey came out two weeks ago from the Pew Research Center, in which 60% of Republican or conservative-leaning respondents said that colleges and universities have a negative effect on the country.  (Nearly 75% of Democratic respondents said they had a positive effect.)

Two years ago, the positive/negative response between political parties was about the same.

Then Trump happened and see, we’re getting dumber by the minute.

OK, it’s not really that simple, but there have been signs leading up to this alarming finding.

I’ve said this several times before but it bears repeating: Republican leadership does not want an educated electorate.  The last thing they want is for people to think for themselves or be able to dissect a statement or argument.  What they want is pliability and obedient workers who do what they’re told.

Look how long Fox “News” has been railing against the “Eastern elite,” or “egg-headed intellectuals.”  They’ve been demonizing intelligence since Day One by holding the most educated among us up to scorn.

Look how much time they devote to college protests, the more chaotic, the better.  It’s like riot-porn for them.  Then they can get together on Fox and Friends and cluck about how horrible these liberal college students are.  Granted, a lot of that has been because of the increased amount of protests directed at our current president.

Just look through an aggregated news web page like Yahoo.  Every time you see a blurb about college protests, or liberal professors, or university political correctness gone wild, check the source.  Guaranteed it will be from Fox, or the Federalist, or the New York Post, or some other conservative mouthpiece.

This is no accident; they want you to distrust places of higher education.  Right-wing media has been leading people in this direction for years… It’s just become more prevalent in the last couple years.

Conservative power brokers know that college can teach people about how to spot logical fallacies and how to pick apart arguments, political positions, and media advertisement, (political and otherwise).  College students are likely to learn about scientific processes and enough earth science to call strict biblical teachings into question.

They do not want this.

They want to be able to spew fake news stories across social media and have people take them as stone fact.  They don’t want more people like me taking their stories and memes and picking them apart line by fallacious line.  (Like you can see here anywhere under the Debunkery label.)

I went to college many years ago, so I admit, things might not be the same.  (For example, political correctness was just becoming a thing.  I remember when we had to change the name of our charity “services auction” away from The Annual Lincoln’s Birthday Slave Sale, to something much less catchy.)

I never really saw any raging liberalism coming from the faculty, other than an occasional TA or old hippie music professor.  For the most part, there was no discussion of the political environment at all.  We just learned the subject at hand, whether it was journalistic principles, the history of broadcasting, the art of public speaking, or how to write ad copy.

But, I also took classes on values analysis, principles of logic, and mass marketing, which taught me how to dissect advertisements from magazines to TV… how to tear down (or construct) an argument… how to examine the motivations of the persuaders, to find their interests… in other words, they taught me critical thinking.

That’s the last thing conservatives want from young people now.  They do not want their little angels coming home from school with wild ideas about how old the earth is, or how being LGBT is not an elective sin, but a happenstance of birth, or that recent climate changes are not cyclical at all.

They don’t want kids exposed to anything that will contradict conservative values or a religious upbringing.  And because the Religious Right is married to the GOP, they want to keep those bonds strong and the sheep plentiful. If they go to college, kids may learn to recognize the disconnect between the Christian morals with which they were raised and the policy positions of those who claim to represent them. 

If the kids from religious families start thinking for themselves, they might not support politicians who vow to keep wages low while providing tax breaks for the rich, because it goes against the word of Jesus, no matter how many snappy memes the Koch Brothers’ media lackeys can produce.  That’s bad news for Republicans.

So how do they combat that?  they run an endless number of negative stories about trouble on college campuses… riots, underage partying, date raping, weird roommates, politically correct administrators running amok, and any other scary-sounding event that shakes up a conservative home.

They create stories and memes designed to undercut the influence of the smartest people in the country, making it seem like they’re too busy philosophizing in the Ivory Tower to solve any real-life problems, while the simple folk get things done with common sense and prayers.

You cut access to government-sponsored college loans and jack up the interest every chance you get.  Then you keep the cost of college education so high and part-time job wages so low, there is zero chance of kids putting themselves through school on their own, without it taking until well into adulthood.

You keep pushing standardized testing in elementary and high schools, so teachers have to promote conformity and teach to the test rather than teach how to think, how to learn and how to blossom. 

It’s unfortunate when a major political party wants you to ignore the only rational thing the legendary Dean Wormer ever said. 

For the GOP, “Fat, Drunk and Stupid” is exactly the way they want you to go through life.  All the better to take your vote, enrich themselves and blame their opponent for your lousy lot in life.

Odd Bits - The Media Edition

Enough about me; let’s bitch about the state of things!

Obstruct This

I keep seeing GOP accusations and subsequent enraged internet comments that the Democrats in Congress are obstructing presidential appointments, as well as other minor matters such as the current tax giveaway masquerading as a health care bill.

Hello, Mr. Pot, this is Mr. Kettle.

Please. The Republicans spent eight years obstructing President Obama like a three-layer cheese sandwich with a cork inside, on every initiative whether it was good for the country or not, just because it was Obama who wanted it.  That includes stealing a Supreme Court seat for no reason but that it wasn’t their guy doing the seating.

For them to turn around and complain about getting obstructed is ludicrous.  And still, they have to mislead in order to press their point.

For example, in the Fox “News” story I linked above, they claim that the current approval rate of 20% is much lower than it was during the first two years of the Obama administration.

They don’t mention the good reason for that, which is that the Democrats had a super-majority of 60 in the Senate, so it was much harder for the GOP to obstruct.  But then after the 2010 election, which gave them control of the House, and 2014 when they took the Senate, they refused to pass a single meaningful piece of legislation.  If Obama wanted it, they voted it down, simple as that.  Then they spent the rest of their time in session passing poison pill bills with zero chance of being signed into law.  (Like repealing the ACA more than 70 times.)

If Republicans don’t like the obstruction now, they can look in the mirror.  They created this zero-sum culture.  Now they have to deal with it. 

Time to Get Serious on Police Shootings

Yep, there was another unjustified police shooting this weekend, one which may finally make police forces around the country take a good look at their occupational culture.  This time they really screwed up… they shot a blonde.

An Australian woman who had placed a 911 call to report a sound in the alley behind her home was fatally shot by police in Minneapolis, Minnesota.  Oof-dah.

We know that after the repeated police shootings of black men and black women and white guys who dress like black men, nothing has changed.  The body cameras the cops were wearing, as mandated by all these prior killings, were not turned on, according to the initial police report.  We’ll see what they say in the later police reports.  These things have a way of evolving over time. 

Meanwhile, I can just see President 45’s briefing on the matter:

Advisor: Mr. President, we just had another fatal police shooting.  This time it was an immigrant.

Trump: That’s what they get for coming here.  See, I told you we need a wall.

Advisor: No, Mr. President, the immigrant wasn’t Mexican.

Trump: So we lost another raghead dude, who’s just going to radicalize here and blow something up.  No big deal.

Advisor: No, it wasn’t a Muslim man, it was an Australian woman.

Trump:  Good God, man!  Was she hot?

Advisor: As a matter of fact, she was a very attractive blonde.

Trump: Dammit, I could have married her!  Tell all my people… We have to do something about this.  We have to act and act fast.  The American people will never stand for this senseless slaughter of hot blondes.

Advisor: What do you want us to do, sir?

Trump: Figure out how to blame it on Obama.

I know it’s really not a laughing matter; it’s yet another highly preventable tragedy.  But it’s still the same old thing, and now the “shoot first, ask questions later” way of conducting police business has killed yet another innocent human being. 

The widespread killings of unarmed black people and resulting protests, riots and unrest haven’t moved the needle one bit.  Maybe that will finally change, now that they’re murdering blondes, and no amount of fluffy “Cop plays with city kids” or “Cop rescues baby ducks” videos are going to repair the damage.

OK, who am I kidding?  Of course they will.  The law enforcement apologists will be out in 3…2…1… go.

Fox “News” Lite

You may remember a post I did in April, taking the Republican-controlled FCC to task for permitting Sinclair Broadcasting to buy up TV stations all over the country.  I said that there were reasons for limiting TV station ownership, mostly because if too many stations were run by one entity, that entity would have an outsized influence over the country’s viewing public.

That brings us to today’s Baltimore Sun, whose TV critic wrote an article about the use of Sinclair’s new extending reach.  In the past, they forced all affiliates to run a 90 second opinion piece three times a week from their “Chief Political Analyst” and former Trump campaign advisor, Boris Epshteyn.  Now they are now requiring that affiliates run his Trump propaganda pieces nine times per week.

And remember, these aren’t all Fox affiliates that Sinclair owns, they’re an assortment of major networks.  But now we’ll be seeing a steady diet of conservative talking points and carefully selected news stories aired, to highlight any GOP successes and Democratic perceived failures.

This is one more part of the creeping Republican power grab.  It’s actually quite brilliant.  They spend big bucks to win state and local seats, which beget governorships.  Once in control of state government, they gerrymander the hell out of the congressional districts and create voter suppressing requirements for elections.

Control of the states’ elective process begets control of the federal government, through which they can change laws that prevent them from amassing even more power and influence, like with banking regulations and media ownership.

They control the media to control the message, to control YOU.  And we don’t even notice.

The Democrats really have their work cut out for them.

A Fake to the Right

And while I’m talking about media, just keep in mind what “Fake News” really is.  Trump and the Republicans throw that term around a lot, but it’s almost always misused.  Ahem…

Fake News: Stories known to the writer and publisher as false, which are being published, circulated and quoted as if they’re true.

Not Fake News: Stories one desperately wishes were false but are not, or in other words, true stories about bad things one has done. 

Whenever you hear Trump or the muttonheads on Fox calling the Russia stories “Fake News,” you can be guaranteed that it’s the latter definition.  The stories about Russian collusion are corroborated and sourced out the wazoo.  (Just because there are anonymous sources doesn’t mean they’re wrong.)

NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, even MSNBC… they present stories that, though occasionally slanted, are fact checked and corroborated using traditional journalistic practices.  And when something they report turns out not to be true?  Or even if they ARE true but their conformation practices have been violated?  The story is retracted, apologies are issues and heads roll.

When was the last time Fox ever apologized for a story or fired someone for being delivering factually incorrect information?

Never, that’s when. 

The most you see is that they stop talking about it… AFTER they’ve gone to great lengths to convince you it really is true.  And by then, Fox viewers have already taken it as gospel.  No apologies, no one gets fired… they just walk it back.

Folks, that’s not journalism and it’s not news.  It is the very definition of Fake News.

Occasionally Shep Smith at Fox will suddenly remember that he used to be a journalist and calls a spade a spade while contradicting his network’s spin.  Then like clockwork, Fox “News” viewers write in to protest, claiming that the Emperor really does have clothes on.

The only thing Republicans know about Fake News is that it’s a term that’s been hurled at their preferred stories, so they just turn it around and hurl it back. 

If only they learned what it was first.

The Glory of Doing Nothing

I apologize again for skipping a post last week, but not really because I was on vacation.  I took my annual trip to go see my old buddies back in NW Ohio, the VP of Hell No and the Chairman of Fuck Off (or CFO).  I wasn’t keen on doing anything that resembled “work,” lest I start down the slippery slope and accidentally do something productive, while I’m supposed to be relaxing.

The trip was almost kiboshed before it even started when I leaned over to grab my suitcase and felt something “pop” in my right calf.  It wasn’t very painful but it felt funny.  I couldn’t get much push from my foot when I walked.

Then by the time I got off the plane, I had a significant limp.  But even limping along like Verbal Kint, I was still moving faster than the hordes of dum-dums in the airport, around whom I had to maneuver.

As I progressed through the remainder of the day, it continued to cause me to limp, so I feared my vacation might be remembered more for icing my calf than icing my quaff.  But when I got up the next day, it felt much better.  There is still a “catch” in my calf and I still can’t push off with my right foot, but I don’t need to limp. 

You don’t want to be seen limping around Baltimore… you just look like prey.

Anyway, we’ll do a quick rundown of the week’s activities, such as they were.

Saturday

The VP picked me up at the airport and we headed straight back to the local tavern.  He just lost his Dad last month so this was the first time we didn’t stop to pick him up before going to the bar.  There, we toasted our lost friends and family.

Back at the house, the VP’s son and his family were visiting from Columbus.  The CFO and his daughter came out as well and we had dogs and burgers on the grill.  The VP just recently got DVR service so we rounded out the night by watching various Steelers-related shows and specials.

Sunday

I’d never been to a Costco before so we rectified that on Sunday.  We had to stock up on meat products for the week’s grilling.

Three racks of ribs and eleven pounds of pork butt.  That’s what I call a Pork-a-palooza.

The previous week, I took my first serious try at eating blue crabs (a Maryland specialty.)  Sweetpea taught me how it’s done and I muddled through about five crabs. 

Working on my first blue crab.

What I learned is that it’s more about having a social event than actual eating.  When they talk about eating crab in the Midwest, it’s an entirely different thing.

The crab case from Costco.  Now that’s my kinda crabbin’.

I also learned that you can make a lunch out of nothing but samples at Costco.  There was one table handing out grilled steak pieces.  We walked by and a couple of ladies said, “$8.95 a pound,” as we took a sample.  When we doubled back later, there was a dude there.

“$8.95 a pound,” he said, as we took another bite.  When we walked by again, not 45 seconds later, he said, “$8.95 a pound,” so we took a third piece.  Apparently, Costco hired Dory to hand out samples.

Another lady was cooking seasoned pork loin medallions.  We circled her like sharks, waiting for her to put some on the tray, but she kept putting her finished morsels in a plastic container.  The VP and I must have hovered for 20 minutes, waiting for her to produce the goods.  When she finally did, people came running from every direction.  We weren’t the only ones staking her out, I guess.  The smell alone was drool-inducing.

That evening turned out to be bratwurst night.

Ohio sausage party.

The CFO and his daughter were back, along with her boyfriend.  His other daughter was there too, with her baby.  And the VP’s son’s daughter arrived as well… I spent 30 seconds talking to her before I even realized who the hell she was.  When she saw me, she ran up and gave me a hug, and I’m thinking, “Who the hell is this?  I know it’s the VP’s family… which one is she?”

It had been at least six years since I’d last seen her, when she was 4 or 5 years old.  I’d even blogged about it, remarking about how little girls “flit” rather than walk.  Couldn’t believe it was the same person. 

Monday

The VP’s wife’s family all came for the day; most of whom I’d never met, and those I had, it had been at the VP’s wedding almost 40 years ago.  So I mostly chilled in the TV room and watched movies.  Of course, I had to come out for the pulled pork.

The pork, in its initial, un-pulled state.

I finished the night at the tavern, with the VP and CFO.

Tuesday

The VP has more tools than any human I’ve ever met.  I should have known it was a “like father/like son” situation.  He told me he got his dad’s tool box.  I figured it was a regular tool box, about the size of a fishing tackle box.  I was mistaken.

I should have known that this was what his family considers a “tool box.”

From inside the toolbox, the VP pulled out the biggest Allen wrench I’ve ever seen.

It looks like it came from some exotic IKEA that sold furniture for giants.

Tuesday was the Fourth of July, (Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!) so we just hung out at the house.  The VP smoked the ribs, which were a-MAY-Zing!

The CFO, VP and I killed the night digesting our ribs and watching movies.

Wednesday

If you thought the trip to Costco was exciting, you should have come with the VP and I to the DMV, so he could get his license renewed.  (We really know how to throw a vacation!)

Really, it wasn’t too bad.  Only took about 20 minutes, unlike the two and a half hours it took me the last time I had to renew in Baltimore.  But the best part was the office was a couple doors down from a Mexican restaurant, where we went for lunch.

They asked if I wanted a large or small beer, which I usually take as a trick question.  Of course I want the LARGE beer… But then they set this 32-oz monster mug down in front of me.  [Gulp]

I swear, I had to two-hand that one.

We couldn’t fill up though because we had big plans for the evening.

Every year when I visit, we always earmarked one night for a visit to my old college town to get the best pizza on the planet, at a shop called Myles Pizza.  Unfortunately, Myles closed last year, so I was not anticipating a trip this year.  However, the CFO’s daughter (who just graduated from my alma mater) told me that she heard the place that replaced Myles was very close in quality.  So I figured we’d have to check it out for ourselves and do some due diligence.

I was mighty glad we did.  It was practically the same pizza, and just the way I like it… Massive.

The new establishment's name: 516 Pizza.  I think the 516 comes from how many ounces are in the pizza.

There was no beer for us after that dinner.  We had to make do with something less filling but no less satisfying; a nice bottle of Woodford Reserve.

That night, the local town had its Founder’s Day fireworks show, but we didn’t have to go anywhere.  We could see it from the VP’s driveway.

Oooh.  Ahhhh.

Thursday

The VP and I watched some more DVRed Steelers stuff, including the Steelers/Chiefs playoff game from this January.  It was funny because I remembered practically nothing about that game.  Not coincidentally, that was the evening I first met Sweetpea.  I was probably distracted.

Final grilled entrée for the week: chicken.

Not pictured: the baked potatoes.

Friday

My last day in town was as uneventful as the previous five. We hung out until afternoon, then went out to the tavern for dinner.  (Fresh perch special… no pics though.  You’ll just have to use your imagination.)

I know it sounds like my vacation is nothing but a big zero.  We didn’t really go anywhere exciting or do anything unique.  But, like every year, it’s what I need: just some uninterrupted time to unplug from daily stress and workplace pressure.  I want to somewhere I can just be… hang with my oldest friends, drink cold beverages, eat grilled meat, smell the clean air and look at the stars.  Or at least, movie stars.

I know it’s not exotic or fascinating but it’s what I need.  I returned to my Sweetpea’s arms on Saturday, loaded with stories, scuttlebutt, a couple pieces of leftover pizza and two quarts of pulled pork.

Perfect end to a perfect week.  Thanks, guys, for having me out.