Search for Reality

It never fails to amuse me how some people end up on this blog.  That’s one of the things I LOVE about the hit counter services.  (I use StatCounter, and love it!) 

My Stats site will not only give me the location and IP address of anyone that lands here, but also the search criteria they used, if any.  Some of those really leave me scratching my head.

As you may have noticed, I use a lot of Monty Python references.  One of my favorites is “I wave my private parts at your aunties…”  That’s usually used in conjunction with this French Taunter picture, from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Do you know what that brings me?  People searching for “Indian Aunties”, usually people from India or the Middle East.  Maybe I’m missing something here… is there some kind of niche porn involving Indian Aunties?  Or maybe it’s just the hope that someone is waving private parts at them.  I don’t know, but I’m sure I’ve had to disappoint some people that landed here looking for Indian Aunties.

I’ve also gotten a few search hits from people looking for bra pictures.  I did a post in my very early blogging days that used a bra-related picture I took.  Today, I got one from Japan, searching for “Found bra on.”  I’m not sure how that’s punctuated so I don’t know if someone was looking for a picture of stuff they found a bra on, or they found a bra somewhere… who knows?

Picture raiders are a whole different category.  That’s what I call the people that just show up as they’re searching Google Images looking for pictures to use for their own purposes.  On one hand, it bugs me because they’re like empty calories… false hits that increase your hit counts, but you know they’re not really there to read your material.  On the other hand, I do the exact same thing when I need a shot to illustrate a point.  So I have to cut some slack.

What I do like is when it’s one of my own pictures that gets the hits.  A week or so ago, I had 3 different people all Google search “Rainbow Cake” and land here for a shot I took of my birthday cake last October.

This is Rainbow Cake.  It was very good.

The funny part (to me) is that the searches came from Virginia Beach, the Netherlands, and the UK.  All occurred within 40 minutes.  It was as if there was this worldwide vibe of “Aaahgh!  I need Rainbow Cake!!  Right now!!”  Maybe it was for some massive Gay Pride demonstration…  Either way, I’m glad I could help.

In March I was running my musical memoirs over 10 or so posts, which were chocked full of rock star shots.  Know which one is getting all the attention?  Not Albert Collins, not Roy Buchanan, not Garth Brooks, not Jeff Healey, not Melissa Etheridge, not Meat Loaf… I’m getting a couple search hits a day for Alannah Myles, the Canadian beauty that sang “Black Velvet” back in the 80s.  I can’t say I blame the searchers… she’s really hot and I was belly up to the stage, taking pictures.  Plus, I’m not in any of them.  

I just wonder what’s up with her all of a sudden.  Why the interest?  I tried Googling her myself and didn’t find any recent news that would explain the increased buzz.  I guess you just never underestimate the drawing power of hot chicks with glowing boobs.  Her chest looks like ET's finger.

Alannah Myles, finger-guns drawn.

I suppose I should mention hot guys as well.  I still get a bunch of hits from people (probably women) searching for Penguins defenseman Kris Letang.  You may recall that he is the object of Sitcom Kelly’s desire and if he is not careful, he may end up in her Silence of the Lambs pit she’s digging in her basement.

“It puts the skates upon it’s feet, or else it doesn’t get a treat.”

I’m still getting frequent hits on the post I did about the 24 Drinking Game, which I think is weird, since it’s not on TV any more.  Maybe they’re still running it in England, since that’s where most of the searches come from.  And any time someone searches for dirt on Lawrence or Darlene Bishop, proprietors of the Great Flaming Jesus, odds are they end up here for a short spell.  And the joke is, I don’t have any dirt on those two charlatans.  All I was doing was figuratively dancing around the smoking remains of their gargantuan former statue.

But hey, a hit is a hit, eh?  I can’t complain.  Every day, I wake up amazed that anyone shows up here at all, to read whatever it is I have to say.

So to the picture raiders, Indian Auntie pervs, Japanese bra mavens, English alcoholics, male and female hound-dogs, and those of you that actually do more than look at the pictures, I say thank you.  You make this worth doing.

Deep bow.