Friday, September 4, 2009

The "24" Drinking Game

I’ve written before about my guilt-ridden love for the super-action show “24”. This week I just finished up watching the DVDs for Season 3, after which I now propose the following 24” Drinking Game.
The Rules: Take a drink whenever you hear someone say…

· “Dammit!” The all-purpose epithet, along with the occasional “son-of-a-bitch”. You know whenever Jack Bauer screams, “Dammit”, it’s just a stand in for “Fuck ME!”

· “What?” You’d think everyone on the show is hard of hearing, because no one ever seems to hear anything important the first time. I realize that it’s just a exposition device to elicit more details, but still, it makes everyone sound dim.

“Assad Falafel is dead.”
“What?”

“The bomb just went off; everyone in Fubar City is dead.”
“What?”

“We don’t have The Package. I repeat; we don’t have The Package. I say again, we don’t have The Package. The Package is gone.”
“What?”

Actually, I shouldn’t joke… with all the gunfire, bombs and people screaming “Dammit”, all the regulars probably are hard of hearing.

· “We don’t have a choice!” Also, “we don’t have any other choice”, “there are no more options”, etc. Anything that indicates that there is only one course of action and it’s going to be pretty distasteful. Anyone engaging in a plan in which “they don’t have any other choice” usually ends up bleeding somewhere.

· “We’re running out of time!” Also, “there’s no more time”, “we’re out of time”, etc. Count anything that indicates that the deep shit is imminent. For all the rushing around everyone does, no one ever seems to have enough time.

If you hear the following, chug whatever is left:

“Dammit, we don’t have a choice… We’re running out of time!”
“What?”

Bleep Bleep Bleep Bleep


I kept score of these markers during my viewing of Season 3 and found the following totals:
Dammit = 12
What = 14
No Choice = 15
Running out of time = 18

That averages out to about 2.5 drinking opportunities per episode, although if you factor out the first 3 or so episodes while they’re just getting warmed up, you can up the totals. If these figures don’t provide enough opportunities for drinking, consider these additional signals for extra credit:
· If Chloe scowls, drink.
· If Chloe converses with someone awkwardly, drink.
· If Tony Almeida glances furtively, drink.
· If Jack’s daughter gets herself into trouble, drink.And if a major character gets killed, resulting in the “silent” 24-clock, chug.

4 comments:

  1. And John Ashcroft is now first in line for some serious WHOP ASS according to a federal appeals court in Idaho. Judges said, "even qualified immunity doesn't allow the attorney general to carry our national security functions completely free from any personal liability consequences."

    Good thing Jack Bauer is protected by Fox!

    And now you have your vocal chords back.

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  2. OMG, I'm too obsessed with that show. Your drinking game would render me useless after the first five minutes!

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  3. What about, "That is not the right play"? Granted you would drink only once or twice per show, but it may be good to slow the pace.

    I loved, loved, loved (!) 24, which is odd since I am so anti-war/torture. President Palmer was my favorite president ever, real or fake. :-)

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    1. "That is not the right play" would fit right in... I wish I thought of it in the first place.

      David Palmer would be my second favorite President, right after Jed Bartlet of The West Wing. Bartlet never hired any traitorous weasels for his staff or cabinet.

      I LOVED 24, and as I said in a prior post, I always felt guilty about enjoying all the assaults on civil rights, but never the less, I was always on Team Jack!

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