The BUTTS Will Crack the Country

Looks like the “One Big Beautiful Bill” is halfway home, now that the House has passed its version. What it should be called is the Big Ugly Trump Tax Shift, or BUTTS Act. The tax cuts for the rich get the most publicity, but the Republicans stuffed a lot more in there to cement in their dream of a top-down economic system, meaning the top gets whatever they want and throw the scraps down to the rest of us.

We should be greatly alarmed at this turn of events. But not so alarmed as to make shit up. I almost lost my mind when I saw this meme floating around this weekend:

The thing that set me off was that first bullet, that the president can delay or cancel any election. That’s the big red button… the tool that sets them up for life, AND, the one I’ve been predicting they’ll use. And they may, but it’s not in the bill. I did a little digging and didn’t find any reference to canceling elections. (And I surfed through the bill itself, looking for the word “election.”) It’s not there, so that’s one bullet dodged, for now.

Also, there isn’t anything in there about identifying protesters, although there is a lot of material about the use of AI. The part I found galling is that there is language to prevent states from regulating the use of AI in advertisements. The Republicans are 100% against that because, obviously, AI makes their go-to tactic of disinformation that much more convincing. They’re literally enshrining their right to lie to us more effectively, for personal gain.

But there is plenty to scare you in this bill. This graphic does a good job of illuminating the heinous infiltration and dissolution of our current government:

Everything in here is designed to benefit those who have the most, and keep it that way. So far, all the GOP resistance has come from those who don’t think the denuding of the government has gone far enough. That’s why we have to bring pressure to bear on those few Republicans left who pretend to be moderate. We need the Lisa Murkowskis, Susan Collinses, and the like to step up and declare that they’re either representing their constituents or shilling for the rich.

Further, we need to make sure there are no Democratic turncoats… no Sinemas or Manchins to sabotage their own people. I’m not foolish enough to think that the Fat Cats haven’t bought themselves some Democrats, just in case.

But again, the thing that worries me is that the Republicans are acting like they don’t need to worry about any more elections. They’re rolling out this giant turd in public and telling easily disprovable lies about what it all means.

We do have some facts that favor the continuation of free elections. After all, the president only has limited power over the election process:

- Election Timing: The Constitution grants Congress the authority to set the timing of federal elections, meaning the President cannot unilaterally postpone or cancel an election.

- Election Oversight: Elections are primarily managed at the state level, with each state responsible for organizing and conducting its own elections.

- Emergency Powers: While the President has emergency powers, they do not extend to altering election dates without congressional approval.

- Influence on Election Laws: The President can advocate for changes to election laws, but actual changes require congressional action.

- Appointment Powers: The President appoints members of the Federal Election Commission (FEC), which oversees campaign finance laws.

That would all be fine, but it assumes that things are going to continue in a lawful manner. The way this administration has established itself, it has its own police force, direct control of the Justice Department, doesn’t follow judicial rules it doesn’t like, has the media playing cheerleader and whitewashing the ugly parts, so it is therefore answerable to no one. There’s nothing to stop them from rigging, nullifying, or indefinitely postponing meaningful elections.

Great Moments in Advertising

Now, so I don’t leave you ready to fling yourself out of a high-rise window (aka taking Putin’s Staircase), have a look at this shot I took from the TV yesterday from the Orioles/Cardinals game.

I want to know who green-lit the name of that tire company for use in America. Shouldn’t there have been someone in the room, some dude who knows American idiom, to go, ”Hey guys? I don’t think you realize how this is going to play to a bunch of drunks sitting on their couches.”

Sure, maybe the founder is a Kumho. And he probably comes from a long line of Kumhoes. And maybe this would work if they were selling rubbers and not tires.

If they insist on keeping the name, they should at least lean into it. Make some commercials that say,

“You’ll feel safe and secure on some Kumhoes.”

“Nothing gives you a smooth ride like Kumhoes.”

“Kumhoes will keep you in the driver’s seat all night long!”

I mean, how long until they roll out the advertising for their sister company, Stankyho?

Director's DVD Commentary: I probably shouldn't have cropped that picture so closely on the right because it looks like I clipped off some of the name. Rest assured that I did not. That is one righteous Kumho and not the creation of some fanciful editing.

The SBLIX Viewing Experience

I haven’t written a Super Bowl post since 2023, which coincidentally was also the Chiefs vs. Eagles game. I’ve been a football fan since I was ten or eleven, and that’s not changing, despite the plethora of changes to the game and broadcast. Yes, with all the serious worldly events going on, I still look forward to some mental diversion. The problems will still be there on Monday, right?

I had a hard time finding a rooting interest this year. As a Steelers fan, I don’t have a dog in the fight. I do like the Chiefs and they’re entertaining to watch, but I’d rather they didn’t three-peat. As for Philly, I don’t really have anything against the team, but their fans are obnoxious. They’re the only fan base that required a judge and jail within the stadium and seem proud of it. But I eventually decided to root for the Eagles anyway. After all, without Philly joining with Pittsburgh to vote blue, Pennsylvania wouldn’t be a purple state, they’d be Alabama.

As for picks to win, I went with the Chiefs because regardless of the situation, they somehow find a way to win.

Earlier during the weekend, I posited that since TFG would be in attendance, he probably contacted the network to make sure he was shown on air more than Taylor Swift. And because the game was on Fox, I was betting they would acquiesce. I decided I’d keep track to test my theory. My initial thought was that I’d count instances during the game, (mostly because I didn’t watch much of the pregame show. They showed him, though, right before the game, I think during the National Anthem (of course Fox would merge the two.) They showed Taylor near the end of the first half. And then neither one showed up again. So it was a tie, by my rules.

But then I learned this morning that he was also shown earlier in the pregame show, so he probably considers it a win. (I consider it a win any time I don’t have to see his lumpy orange visage.)

I think Fox made a conscious effort NOT to show Taylor Swift because there were plenty of opportunities with Travis Kelce either catching or dropping passes. In the past, most of those would cue a cutaway to Taylor reacting in the stands. Not so this time, thus disappointing legions of tween girls watching the broadcast with their dads.

I understand that they did show TS in the stands on the scoreboard during the game, and she drew more boos than cheers. I can't understand why that was shocking. The place was filled with Eagles fans and she's the Chiefs' most prominent cheerleader. Of course she was going to get booed. There may be more young female NFL fans because of her, but they wouldn't be attending the Super Bowl. This was 100% predictable.

So, let’s bullet point the next several hours… The Super Bowl… Go!

·         I commend the organizers for trying to give the show a little NOLA flavor. I mean, the Southern University Marching Band can really get down… But where’s the Cajun/Zydeco influence? That shit is made for the party! I used to love going to Cajun festivals back when I lived in Albany NY. It was always a great time.

·         Ad: Martha Stewart doing the CGI Boogie for glide-step Skechers. Loved it. Hilarious. I hope they continue to use that one so it’s not just one-and-done.

·         Ad: I know the Dunkin Donuts commercial was trying really hard but there was so much jammed in, I’m going to have to see it again to make sense of it. I lost focus right after they showed Jay and Silent Bob, then spent the rest of the time waiting for them to come back (which they never did).

·         The first so-called “Controversial Call.” I saw a guy put his hands in the other guy's facemask twice, while the ball was in the air. That’s pass interference against the Eagles. Cue the harrumphing about the Chiefs getting all the calls… right up until the Eagles benefitted from a similar call on the next series.

·         Let me take this opportunity to rant about how much I hate all the “Chiefs Get All the Calls” bullshit. The fact is the same thing gets said about every team that dominates. I used to hear it about the Steelers all the time, and certainly about the Tom Brady-led Patriots. I agree with the detailed explanations regarding just how complicated it would be for there to be an actual league plot to prop up one team. It could never happen. One corrupt official? Sure, but there are just too many involved with a year’s worth of league games.  Yes, some calls get blown, as they have across time and space. All this bitching about a conspiracy is just sour grapes from fans whose teams aren’t good enough. /rant

·         Ad: The Eugene Levy/Flying Eyebrows spot for Little Caesars was hilarious, although kind of pointless.

·         I can’t believe Tom freakin’ Brady is complaining about those first two penalties. Nobody cried harder for flags after getting hit than Brady. STFU about penalties, Tom. You bitched anytime a defensive lineman breathed on you.

·         I have to add that despite deciding to root for the Eagles, I keep finding myself cheering when something good happens to KC and bummed when the Eagles make a play. I guess deep down, I’m rooting for the Chiefs regardless of what my brain says.

·         Ad: Celebrity Pickleball. I must be missing something. Who is that playing with Willem Dafoe? Chris Evert with raccoon eyeliner? It seems it should either be two athletes or two former tennis pros. It doesn’t make sense to have an aging actor in there.

·         After the first quarter, they showed several celebs in the stands, but no Taylor. Telling.

·         Ad: Seal the seal for Mountain Dew. This was the first one to make me laugh out loud. I don’t really get it, but it was so well done. The moment I realized what they were doing, I just busted.

·         Ad: I also loved the Senior Citizen ladies for Weather Tech floor mats. I LOLed when the old lady flashed the judge. I hope they keep using this one too.

·         After the Eagles Pick-6, the Chiefs better get their offense in gear or they’re gonna be too far behind to just “find a way” this time.

·         Ad: I never want to see that Coffee Mate “tongue” commercial again, as long as I live. Ick. Pass the eye bleach.

·         Ad: Pringles flying moustaches that totally rip off Eugene Levy’s flying eyebrows. Someone should be suing someone here…

·         The first Taylor sighting, right before the half, which I now know will be the only one.

·         Halftime: The last rock band to play the SB halftime was The Who in 2010. Before them, it was Springsteen, Tom Petty, Prince, and the Stones. And ever since it’s been nothing but pop, rap, and R&B. I guess I’m no longer in the target demographic. I usually enjoy the stage show and the dancers, but after a few moments, I’m on my phone scrolling Bluesky, waiting for the show to end. Apparently, Kendrick Lamar called out Drake as a pedophile but it went right over my head.

·         Back to the game, the Eagles don’t even need to blitz, they just rush their front four who are getting tremendous pressure on Mahomes. It’s like the Eagles are playing against a high school team, not the 2-time defending champs.

·         I found less and less on which to comment in the second half… the Eagles ran away with the game and all the good commercials seem to have come early. The Chiefs got two TDs in garbage time but lost 40-22, with the Eagles’ scrubs in the game. And I give credit to Philly for that, letting everybody get a chance to play in the big game.

·         So as it turns out, the team my brain wanted to win did win. I always enjoy watching the post-game celebration and seeing everyone so happy. But there was no Three-peat and a chunk was taken out of KC’s armor. Now I hope to see some new blood in the arena next year.

That BK Ad

Rarely has a newspaper cartoon captured my exact thoughts as perfectly as this one did last week:

Thank you “Pearls Before Swine” for being a beacon of clarity.

This series of Burger King commercials, (you know the ones, unless you’ve been watching nothing but Netflix lately) has been driving me buggy since their onset a few years ago.

I’m going to dip into the long-neglected training from my Radio/TV/Film major college days and discuss this commercial in detail, from what they’re trying to do to why it irritates me and so many others.

One of the main things I learned was that every single thing you see in a commercial is put there to serve a purpose. Nothing is there by accident, especially in big national spots like these.

Every actor, setting, prop, costume, and graphic is there for a reason, usually as an unspoken message or reinforcement aimed at the demographic they’re trying to reach.

(Stupid local ads for car dealerships, lawyers, home improvement, and the like are a category unto themselves, where often the ad creators are just doing what the egocentric business owner tells them to. "Seriously, my customers love it when I yell car prices at them!")

If you ARE a Netflix devotee and have been fortunate enough to miss them, there’s a series of BK commercials wherein they do “updates” of their old 70s jingle, using someone who can’t sing.

If you’re anywhere close to my age, you remember the original jingle:

“Hold the pickle hold the lettuce,

Special orders don’t upset us.

All we ask is that you let us

Serve it your way.

Have it YOUR way,

Have it your Way, at Burger KING.”

At first, I was happy about the new ad series because it meant the end of their creepy “King-face mask” character that looks like a picture of Charlemagne from an old history textbook.

But now, their more recent ads are a travesty to anyone who takes Weird Al’s work seriously. There’s an art to creating an effective parody, or in this case, jingle refurbishment. You have to make it as close to the original as possible, optimally, using the same rhyming sounds and number of syllables per line as found in the original.

The new jingles sound like they are written by AI. They’re basically reciting menu items with descriptions from internal marketing memos, forced into the rhythm of the original jingle. The rhymes are elementary and they frequently jam far too many syllables into a line not designed to handle them. Or not enough.

One of them that’s running now is for the BK Melt. They stretch the word “melt” over five different notes, where five different words should be if you’re doing it right.

Instead of “Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce…” the lyric is “BK me-eh-eh-eh-elt…”

Deadpool would call it “lazy writing” and I agree. Maybe Mariah Carey can pull that off but not this guy. Which brings me to the next point.

For the voice, they use that of a non-threatening Black guy. Think “Jake from State Farm,” who’s basically Ned Flanders without the verbal flourishes. “Jake” started as a schlubby white guy before State Farm decided to make him a central character and they needed him to look cool bouncing around with Patrick Mahomes.

I presume they’re aiming for a lower to middle-class audience, with the identifiably Black voice, but not so Black as to scare off the white folks… looking for a sort of “everyman.” I mean, BK isn't going after Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse patrons, are they? And whoever this guy is, he can’t carry a tune. He kind of talk-sings like young children often do when they think they’re singing but really aren’t. Most of us can’t sing, so maybe they’re trying to seem relatable.

The original jingle used correct pronunciation. This one always elides the “your way” into “have it yer way.” This is another “everyman” touch, reaching out to people who don’t have time for fancy cooking or diction, and just want to be face-deep in a Whopper before they even pull out of the drive-thru.

And the last of the verbal tricks is that final “YOU RULE,” when the jingle is done, which is nothing but a transparent attempt to flatter the audience. “Yes, I rule. I am the King of the Value Menu! Bow before your Liege!”

The music tries to update the original tune with more electronica, but mostly drums. The drum sounds bounce around all over the place, making 30 seconds worth of impotent racket, like a drum fill that lasts for the entire jingle. And I say “impotent” because the drums sound like someone playing on shoe boxes, or just tapping an open mic. “Bup bup bup bup bup… mic check…” Maybe it’s a generational thing but to me, drums are supposed to thunder, not sound like Morse Code.

They also add some common tricks you’ll find elsewhere like stretching out the BEE sound in BK. It’s the “cheese” effect of picture-taking. When someone is holding a long E sound, it subconsciously evokes a smile. Applebee’s does this in their ads too.

And the same goes for extending the “ssssss” on the line where they rhyme "Shroom and Swiss" with “hunger blisssss.” The extended S also evokes a smile, like the long E. They must really want us to think their place is one happy kingdom.

If they’re that tired of coming up with new lyrics and rhymes, maybe they should just put this one to bed and try something else, maybe something original. Sure, they already owned the rights to the “Hold the Pickle" melody, so it was the cheap option. Maybe they can sponsor a nationwide search for a new jingle. They can make it for amateurs only so then when they find a good one, it’ll be that much easier to screw the artist on the copyright revenue.

“You want your jingle on national TV? Sign the papers.”

Then they can go back to milking that “everyman” vibe for all it’s worth. And maybe we can watch BK ads again without wanting to jam pencils into our ears.

90-Days to the Dark Ages

I still can’t get over how Muslims were moving over to voting Republican. This is even though TFG’s first move last time was to ban all immigration from Muslim countries. Well, except from Saudi Arabia. Even though they provided 19 of 20 9/11 attackers, he thought he could get a tower with his name on it built there. Money always wins out over prejudice with these guys.

Anyway, I was watching some more of those 90-Day shows last night when it all suddenly made sense.

Back in September, I wrote about getting hooked into the 90-Day Fiancé world. I even mentioned one storyline where a 41-year-old American woman was going to Jordan to marry her 22-year-old beau, who immediately began putting restrictions on her dress and behavior. (And somehow, despite the existence of the internet, she never saw coming.)

I’d only seen the first installment of their story when I wrote the post, but it’s continuing as one could foresee. The guy’s demands generate all kinds of conflict, while this woman who is old enough to be his mama is expected to do as he tells her and stop questioning him about it.

I told Sweetpea last night that they need to let me write her a speech to deliver. Something like, “Listen Anand, I was a 19-year-old woman on the day you were delivered screaming in your diapers and knew more about the world outside your insular little bubble than you’ll ever know. You did NOT gain superior wisdom by the mere happenstance of being born with a dick. Now treat me like a grown-ass modern woman or you can take that dick and find someone else for it to disappoint.”

Yes, I know she’s never say that, because she’s got “feelings” and shit about the guy, but I can dream.

There’s another storyline where a woman went to see her Arab boyfriend in South Africa for the first time but was so nervous about flying she brought her ex-boyfriend with her, which was an unbelievably stupid idea, guaranteed to cause a major fight. And it did, leading to the boyfriend storming off, shouting profanities, and wanting nothing further to do with her.

As it usually goes, they coaxed him back to talk with her, and they ironed out that little wrinkle with a heart-to-heart talk. But last night, she got to meet his friends, who immediately called her out for having bare arms and midriff and tattoos. They told her she’d be expected to become Muslim to continue to date the guy, which was not something that had previously been discussed. 

They always wait until they feel the woman is hooked before telling her about their primitive expectations.

So, now looping back to the election...

Last night it all made sense. This is why the Muslim vote is migrating to the Republicans. They’re not just a “socially conservative” society, but one that would gravitate to the kind of medieval society Republican bible-thumpers are pushing. They want women on their backs and failing that, in the kitchen. They want them docile, obedient, pliant, and unquestioning, like a pet retriever. One who lives to serve the man. They certainly weren’t going to vote for one for president.

I’m sure they also like the persecution of gays, heretics, and liberals as well; anything that cements the notion of male superiority. However, they probably underestimate the degree to which they will never fit in with the MAGAs. Even if they agree with all the policy points, they’ll never be anything more to MAGA than another raghead to deport.

“Thanks for the vote, though!”

The Long Game

 Earlier in September I wrote about the crap-TV shows I can’t stop watching, the 90-Day Fiancé franchise. I mentioned how I chafe at the storylines involving American women marrying Arab/Muslim/African men who expect obedience, subservience, and second-class citizenship. Describing the storyline that’s just developing this season, I wrote:

“There is a couple this season, where the 40ish American woman is going to Jordan to marry her 22–year–old beau on the very day she arrives because his religion won’t permit them to be alone together in a room. This story is just getting underway and she has no idea what he will expect of her. This is basically a “boy” who told the cameras he wants her to always obey his wishes and not question him as the man of the house. And he needs her to cover up with loose clothing

I think she ought to spank his 22-year-old ass and send him to his room without dinner. These stories always seem to end up the same way, with the American women taking a powder either before or shortly after the wedding.”

Well, they did, indeed, get married the day she arrived and as expected, she’s chafing at the new rules about which she’s just now finding out.

To me, it’s beyond comprehension that someone intending to marry into this (or any) foreign culture didn’t take five minutes or so to Google what it’s like for a woman to live in Jordan (or wherever.) The guy always seems to hold back on the details of his expectations until after it’s too late. In last night’s show, the woman reacted harshly after finding out the rules her boy-husband gave her did not apply to him.

She was upset because

·         She was told she couldn’t hug or shake her long-time (male) friend’s hand, yet he shook her hairdresser’s hand immediately after.

·         He criticized her outfit as being too revealing (there was the faintest hint of cleavage) while his shirt was unbuttoned to his midsection.

·         He wouldn’t listen to her concerns.

·         He occupied their room getting himself dressed, (meaning she couldn’t because he had his friends there), and was then furious because he had to wait for her to change.

·         He insisted she be covered to his approved level wherever she went, whether in Jordan or back in the US. But he can wear whatever he wants.

He was upset because:

·         Her clothes were too revealing, and when they did conceal what he wanted, they were too tight.

·         She insisted on sitting up front in the car with him, while his brother had to sit in the back.

·         She questioned him about his “rules,” rather than happily accepting them.

·         She was not swayed by his and his brother’s default explanations, “But I’m the man.”

Meanwhile, I’m left yelling at the television, saying, “Honey, what the hell do you expect? How did you not check this out beforehand? How it is possible that no one you know told you this might happen?”

I mean, for Pete’s sake, take some initiative and responsibility.

At least, I take some comfort in knowing this is one set of people and there were probably side issues regarding the creation of TV episodes, with which I’m not familiar. You can’t take everything at face value with these shows. They want you to get all worked up about it.

But it got me thinking about how this dynamic is exactly what our modern conservatives are trying to recreate in this country. Every new law or movement that restricts the rights of women, no matter how small or isolated in scope, is a chip away from the fading standard of gender equality. It’s a bedrock principle of the Heritage Foundation and Federalist Society types. They want women out of the workplace and back in the kitchen with babies on each hip, leaving men to remain free to make all the important decisions, so they don’t have to worry their pretty little heads.

I recall our Democratic presidential nominee once asking a prospective Supreme Court Justice/Bro, “Can you name any laws that place restrictions on what a man can do with his own body?”

The Republican gambit is that if you control the health care, you control the women. Hence Sen. Vance (SS/OH) is resurfacing this old tactic:

This is why you can’t believe them when they say, “But we’re not after birth control.” Yes, they are. Just watch their actions. Plus, one of the SCOTUS Bros has already made it clear they want to go after Griswald.

Constrict health care.

Limit birth control.

Ban abortions.

Limit post-natal aid, child care, SNAP.

Attack women’s very right to vote.

Attack breast-feeding in public.

How long before they try to repeal the laws that gave women the right to hold property, get loans, or credit cards? How long before they start selling petticoats and bloomers at Forever 21?

These things add up to putting women under duress, in a state where all they can do is fight to survive, unless, of course, they can find a man to take care of them.

And there it is… The Incel’s wet dream… to rescue a woman who must then submit to his control.

This is where the GOP is taking us… to a place not so far from Jordan, Saudi Arabia, or Iran, as far as how they treat their female citizens. Well, maybe not citizens… more like pleasant-smelling property.

The Republicans are playing the long game. They started immediately after the Roe decision and never let up until it was reversed. It took over 50 years but they kept at it, collecting enough state legislatures, governorships, and occasional presidencies until they had a willing Supreme Court. They created “news” outlets to radiate their toxic point of view, be it with misdirection, propaganda, or outright lies.

And because they’re playing a long game, they’re counting on young people growing up with abortion restrictions being seen as commonplace, while those who remember winning reproductive freedoms are dying off. Eventually, the whole struggle will be limited to history books, and we know what they do with those when they include history the Right doesn’t care to remember.

And here we are. They’re not done and neither should we be done resisting, for as long as it takes. The very fate of our mothers, sisters, and daughters is riding on it.

Translating the Headlines

As you may remember, my local paper, the Baltimore Sun, was purchased by the owner of Sinclair Broadcasting, a powerful conservative network of local TV affiliates. The change in editorial stance was noticeable and immediate. While they still run some stories from their sister newspapers like the LA Times and NY Times, there are more and more articles credited to the Sinclair National Desk and Fox 45 (our local Fox News outlet.) These latter two almost always support the Republican company line, although it’s not always obvious.

As I read my daily paper, I’ve been taking some snapshots of the headlines and stories to dissect later. And here we are.

This is a “Sun Investigation” story, which is their favorite way to stir up trouble for political opponents. In this case, they’re working as a shill for Republican Senate candidate Larry Hogan, who they will doubtlessly endorse come November. So we have a first page, above-the-fold story about how fees and taxes have risen in the face of budget deficits that apparently “loom.”

Then, in a story directly under that, there is an article about how Candidate Hogan is attacking fees and taxes. Do you possibly think these two stories are related? Of course, even without noting that the same writer published both stories.  

Fox “News” has been doing this for years… their talking heads start yammering about some ridiculous point and then their news guys get on there and say, “People are talking about this ridiculous point…”

I don’t mind when news outlets do investigative journalism. But I do mind when they only investigate one side. For example, there is a newer dirt-flinging story about how Hogan’s opponent, Angela Alsobrooks, claimed some tax credits she shouldn’t have. The paper touts the story as dirty pool, she says it was a mistake that’s been fixed, and now it’s fodder for Hogan attack ads.

I’m just wondering when they’re going to examine Larry Hogan’s financial dealings. OK, I’m not wondering. I know they won’t because they are no longer independent journalists, they’re mouthpieces for the Republican Party.

Here’s a story credited to Fox 45:

It’s basically a nothing-burger. There were two minor incidents involving voting drop boxes from elections gone by, neither of which resulted in a security lapse, so they weren’t mentioned in a summary report. The headline makes it look like a security breach, but the story explains the details that far fewer people will read. This goes to the Republican dogma on how anything but direct voting is a scandal. They continue to claim that it’s really all about election security but every once in a while, someone forgets and says the quiet part out loud:

Just remember, when you’re faced with someone going on with great sincerity about how it should be no big deal to have proof of eligibility to vote, that Republicans also go to extreme lengths to control what constitutes that proof and only use items that are the hardest for their opponents to obtain. (Driver’s Licenses, in. WIC cards, out.) It’s not at all about security, it’s 100% about vote suppression.

Look what they’re doing in Georgia:

The Republican legislature is requiring that all votes be recounted by hand. That means opening the sealed boxes and having teams of people handling the ballots, which in that very act, adds more opportunities for error. And that’s what they want! They are lighting the fire and then screaming about why the fire hasn’t put out yet. They want as much doubt as possible introduced so that when TFG loses, they can claim foul play. And they only need enough doubt to get a case to SCOTUS, where the fix will be in.

Onward, here’s a dishonest cartoon:

President Biden supports killing a merger that would have a Japanese steel company purchase US Steel, and keep it in American hands. Isn’t that the kind of “Buy American” shit Republicans love to trumpet? But when a Democrat puts his money where his mouth is on the subject, they turn on a dime to slam him for it. Republicans have no principles other than criticizing whatever their opponents do.

Here’s another one where Republican bias leaks in:

Their opening line is “Thirty-five percent of college graduates regret their college major.” Couldn’t it as well read “Sixty-five percent of college graduates are happy with their college major?” But no, the Sinclair story wants to skew it negatively because they dislike higher education (or really, any education but trade schools.) Republicans leap at every chance to interfere with public education, from banning books to forcing the inclusion of religious doctrine in place of facts. They want a population smart enough to fix their cars, boats, and mansions, but not smart enough to see through the Republican platform of screwing the average citizen to benefit the wealthy.

Like with their stance against student loan forgiveness, which they always portray as people running out on their debts, rather than being the victims of unscrupulous financial institutions that the Bush Republicans empowered to fleece their customers. 

Perhaps Sinclair should hire some better-educated staff, then maybe they would be less likely to become a public embarrassment.

“Hey guys, we gotsa fire the editer and get a nother one hoo knows werds n stuff…”

It looks like we’ve moved into the Post Pet-Eating Era with the recent reports that it was all a big misunderstanding.

The person who first reported the story on Facebook said she lied.

JD Vance admits he created false stories, but he’s allowed because… (it’s never wrong with a Republican does it.)

I’m just glad that I got to see this cartoon to put a lid on the whole thing.

(If you know, you know.)

 

Director’s DVD Commentary: I also had a Sinclair story to show Republican dislike for electric cars and an editorial written by the Sun’s minority-share owner about how awful it is if someone goes outside and smells pot, but I cut them for brevity’s sake. Thank you for suffering along with me this long.

Quick Debate Impressions

Director’s DVD Commentary: This is a special bonus post dropping midweek because if I wait until next Monday, it will literally be last week’s news and we’ll be onto the next thing. If this is the first you’re visiting this week, please click on the “Older Post” link at the bottom of the page.

Now, for today’s news:

BAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

She spanked his ass red and sent him to bed without dinner.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a mismatched debate performance. She was cool, calm, and collected and he was sputtering like an old man raging about movies with sound.

TFG brought his customary lying to a new height, putting forth ridiculous, previously and easily debunked accusations like pet-killing Haitians living in Springfield and eating the citizens’ cats and dogs.

That brought on one of the few times the ABC moderators corrected him. I admit that if they had corrected every lie, there wouldn’t have been enough time to hear from Kamala.

Naturally, Republicans are accusing ABC of some kind of bias and I think they’re correct. Every time TFG begged for extra time, they gave it to him without equal time going to the VP. And the one time she asked for it, they denied it. He ended up with nine more minutes of ranting time than she had. Obviously, ABC was out to get him by allowing him to speak! It proved to be an effective strategy.

You didn’t think Republicans were actually going to do some soul-searching as to why they so slavishly back this incompetent madman, did you? No, they have to blame someone for his catastrophic showing. It can never be him who is at fault. Never apologize, never back down, and always double down. That’s their way. It always has to be someone else’s fault, usually a Democrat. From crappy debate performances to hurricanes, they need to blame a liberal.

Kamala impressed me by going after him in a civil but needling way. I loved that she went after his rally attendance, which is essentially how TFG measures his dick. It totally put him off his game. He just had to rebut every personal remark that highlighted his shortcomings. She let tons of stuff go, oftentimes, to my consternation. I love to see debunkery in action. But she was right in making the larger points, calling for unity and a way forward. All he could do was fall back to his regular routine of invading immigrants, coming to steal our jobs, rape our women, and eat our pets. Or is it to eat on the job, steal our women and rape our pets? Who knows with this guy? He makes less sense with every speech.

Taylor Swift's administration of the coup de grace endorsement was just [chef’s kiss]. A perfect message for the perfect time. I hope it transforms into votes, but knowing the reliability of the Swifties may make a difference in a swing state or two.

So while I feel pretty giddy about her debate performance, let me also remind you that Hillary also kicked his ass in a debate or two. It didn’t mean much when the votes were counted. Granted, there were outside factors involved there too, with the FBI breaking their own rule to publically resurface accusations that were later dismissed. Who knows what kind of skullduggery is about to be unleashed in the coming months? (Skullduggery is the best kind of duggery, don’t ya know?)

I expect the attacks to get more and more personal and the smears increasingly vicious. It’s all they have left. They don’t have any popular ideas to put forth, all they have is criticism and attack and gaming the system. If you remove that, all you have left is a party of stupid red hats sitting atop empty suits.

We just need to see through it and show up in November.

Final note: Speaking of gaming the system, if you live in a Red State, be SURE you’re registered to vote. Republicans are trying everything to thin the voter rolls of likely opponents, from closing and moving polling sites to, requiring new IDs, to stripping people from voter rolls, especially those who haven’t voted recently. 

"90-Days" of Conflict

 Even with its current pervasiveness, I’ve never been a big watcher of reality TV. For 20 years, I only watched the Big Three: Survivor, Big Brother, and The Amazing Race, all of which I picked up in their respective first seasons. By 2024, I picked up a couple more, “Bar Rescue” and “Naked and Afraid,” which I may post about some other time. And there’s one other.

Now, my wife, Sweetpea, predominantly watches what she calls, “murder shows.” You know, the true crime series like First 48, Forensic Files, Dateline, and the like. I’m ok with them once in a while, but I prefer more escapist fare. Because we don’t have many shows that we both like, it’s hard to find things to watch together. Because she gets up insanely early and goes to work before I’m out of bed, she also goes to bed early, so we don’t have a lot of downtime together. After dinner, she’ll usually put on a murder show and promptly fall asleep. When she can’t find a murder show she hasn’t seen, she’ll opt for MTV’s Catfish or TLC’s 90-Day Fiancé.

I figured I could tolerate those so I began recording them with the DVR, so we can watch together at our leisure. Catfish is straightforward enough. It’s like a true crime show where the hosts investigate people who get into relationships with other people via dating sites but refuse to meet or ever be seen on camera.

But the 90-Day stuff? Wow. What a mess of humanity… that I can’t stop watching. It’s basically nationally televised voyeurism.

There are several 90-Days brands. The original is 90-Day Fiancé, which centers on couples who date internationally. One will bring the other to the US via a K-1 visa, and will then have 90 days to get married or the visitor has to go back. That’s always the focal question: Will they get married or will it all blow up?

Another variation is Before the 90-Days, which focuses on the lead-up to the travel to America, as they begin exploring an international relationship. There’s also 90-Days – Happily Ever After? which shows the lives of some of the couples after they’ve gotten married and are going about their lives. Then there’s the Bizarro World version, 90-Days – The Other Way, which is where an American goes abroad to marry and live in a vastly different culture.

And if all that isn’t enough, there’s a parasite series called Pillow Talk, which runs right after each of the other shows, featuring several pairs of former 90-Day participants who watch the show and provide commentary.

The whole organization is its own self-contained world, like an Earthbound Marvel Universe, whose occupants have staged adventures and bitch at each other.

I had no idea what I was getting into when I started. I fully admit that this is crap TV and I’m probably dumber for having watched it. It’s just that you get sucked into these people’s lives. There are some you love but many more that you love to hate. And there are some real pieces of work on these shows.

The reason I’m bringing this whole thing up is that I find there are a lot of the same themes that flow through each of these series and most of the dating pairs. There are three main categories of conflict:

·         Money

·         Jealousy/Insecurity

·         Religion

Money? That’s obvious and applies universally. As British comic Spike Milligan once said,

Everyone wants/needs more money. Some lie about it, some cheat to get it, and some think it’s owed to them.

To me, the biggest thing keeping these couples apart is jealousy (and the insecurity that leads to jealousy). Women go ape-shit any time their man talks to, texts with, bumps into, or acknowledges the existence of another woman.

Director’s DVD Commentary: I’m not being sexist; it goes both ways. I just don’t care to bother with the verbal gymnastics of keeping all terms unisexual.

One woman doesn’t want her fitness instructor boyfriend to have women as clients, even though they make up over 90% of his business. Another guy is crucified for “cheating” by receiving sexy videos from women he’s never met. Men flip out any time they find themselves near their women’s previous boyfriends, with whom they are still friendly. One girl got upset because her guy went to church, and there were women there. She also didn’t want him to hang out with his sisters, because they might have friends around. And on it goes…

If I were on that show, my stories would be as dull as dishwater. Most of my friends are women. Anyone I was dating would have to understand that, and if they flip out about it, I’m out. It’s non-negotiable. I will be friends with women. And my mate is free to be friends with men. I’d never be a hypocrite about it. I’m fully trusting until I have a reason not to be. (And I’m quite fortunate that Sweetpea is fine with this.)

I think these “cast members” would ease a lot of their own misery if they just decided to trust their partner and assume the best rather than the worst. And if they do stray, for real, cut them the eff loose and move on. (Those who do bugger off invariably find a line-up of men (or women) who want to go out with them, after having seen them on TV.)

The last obstacle is religion and it’s almost always bout Middle-Eastern or African men wanting to control American women. They never seem to tell their prospective wives all the details of what their lives together might look like, or what she might look like after she’s covered head to toe. They know that if they let on they expect a life of obedience, servitude, and child-bearing at the outset, the American dating pool is likely to dry up

One Egyptian guy was coming to live with his American wife in California, and they had a fight that led to their breakup because she was wearing a dress that, while it went up to her neck, down past her knees, and had long sleeves, it bared a couple square inches of her back. He couldn’t live with such a tawdry display of wantonness. Because of religion.

There is a couple this season, where the 40ish American woman is going to Jordan to marry her 22–year–old guy on the very day she arrives because his religion won’t permit them to be alone together in a room. This story is just getting underway and she has no idea what he’s going to expect of her. This is basically a “boy” who told the cameras he wants her to obey his wishes at all times and not question him as the man of the house. And he needs her to cover up with loose clothing

I think she ought to spank his 22-year-old ass and send him to his room without dinner. These stories always seem to end up the same way, with the American women taking a powder either before or shortly after the wedding.

I don’t see how they didn’t research the culture the second they made contact with their foreign beaus. It would have saved them a lot of heartache and a pile of cash.

Or maybe they just reeeeeally wanted to be on TV.

But that’s the worst part. I can’t even comprehend allowing TV cameras to film every part of my life, every argument, every mistake, every emotional moment, and broadcast it nationwide. And when these fights happen, everything is in play, from bathroom habits to sexual inadequacies to masturbatory quirks. Nothing is off-limits.

And I make room for the fact that producers are egging them on or providing angles to assert to keep the fights going. You can see by their casting choices that they’re counting on the conflict, the louder and more warped the better.  That’s too bad because I’m sure there are viewers like Sweetpea and me who really enjoy seeing decent people overcome international obstacles and go on to live happily ever after. (These people tend to end up on the Pillow Talk series.)

At the end of every season, they stage a multi-episode “Tell All,” where all the cast members get together in New York to answer questions from a moderator and each other. They all get to know one another; some become real-life friends, others bitter enemies. This helps build the 90-Day ecosystem

It’s hard to watch sometimes because they poke and prod for every bit of controversy and conflict, even those that have already been resolved. They ought to call these episodes, “Pulling at Scabs.” It’s seldom pretty.

The bigger point is that we, as a people, are being conditioned to become our ugliest forms of ourselves. We’re guided to be vain, jealous, insecure, snarky, mean, over-reactive, and without empathy. Is this the public influencing the media or the media influencing the public?

Either way, we’re a mess and we don’t seem to be getting any better.

Maybe the next iteration ought to be “90 Days – Incel.” That’s where they take some anti-social, obnoxious misfit out of his parents’ basement, send him on a date with a real woman, and film the inevitable disaster. They just need to make sure the crew has tasers ready. They’ll need to be able to guarantee the woman’s safety.

So yeah, I’m up here on my soapbox, but I’ll still be watching Sunday nights. Damn it.

Outrageous, Egregious, Preposterous!

How bad do you feel for Jordan Chiles right now, huh? Man, what a kick in the teeth. It’s bad enough that she has to compete against the most dominant gymnast in history, now she’s getting railroaded out of her bronze medal.

Apparently, the judges made an error in determining her degree of difficulty, which lowered her score. But her team protested, and the judges made the proper adjustment and the resulting score landed her the bronze medal.

But wait, now it comes out that her team was four seconds late in protesting… they have one minute from the end of the routine… so they’re recalling the metal.

What a sack of shit. I know there are rules about such things, you’d figure there has to be some kind of deadline. But one minute, amidst the swirl of Olympic competition. This is bullshit. At minimum, there should be an appeal process which when used successfully, keeps a medal from being turned in because of actions taken by those other than the athlete. In other words, they want her to return her medal because the judges screwed up.

If I’m her, assuming the decision is final, I’d be like, “I know the official record books will be updated, but you’re not getting this medal back. You want it, come get it.” Then I’d go see my new best friend Snoop and see if he still has some friends from the Hood who will protect my ass. What are they going to do, send a team of Olympic goons? Like a judo team? Or the shot putters? OK, maybe some of those archers and sharpshooters would get my attention. 

They should do a Pulp Fiction remake with these two:

I would probably do things just to piss them off, like post photos on Facebook or Insta of the medal in various famous places. Like, “Can’t catch me…”

Or “Missed me by that much!”

I don’t know what kind of leverage they have over someone in her position. Maybe they can prevent her from competing again, but she can always retire and start doing commercials. Like, for home security systems. Or maybe Spellcheck apps.

“Don’t let stupid mistakes jam YOU up. Use this and get them fixed immediately!”

She should hire the actor who played the Seinfeld show attorney Jackie Chiles to work with her on it, and just let him do his thing.

Anyway, I just think it’s silly to let systematic screw-ups put the screws to athletes who have busted their buns to become world-class talents. There needs to be some kind of review board to ensure that athletes’ dreams don’t become victims of the quest for bureaucratic purity.

***

This was in today’s Baltimore Sun:

My intention in highlighting this story is not about Chuck Schumer’s decision to kill this proposal in its sleep, but to question why Republicans proposed such a thing in the first place. I mean, I know the answer, and it’s twofold:

·         To appease the idiots from their base who think there’s a vast conspiracy regarding COVID, the pandemic, and other viruses in conjunction with the CDC, and other anti-vaxxers.

·         The GOP wants to cut or defund any department or entity that creates barriers to profit by large corporations. Whether it’s air purity, water clarity, or food safety, it’s much more cost-efficient to contaminate all three areas and settle with or (legally stall) complainants, than it is to produce a clean, safe product.

I’ve been beating this drum for years and this is just one more example. And without the Democratic majority we have now, slim as it may be, this was something that could have come to fruition. This is the importance of keeping the Senate. It’s something on which our lives may actually depend.

***

I also saw this on my news page today. Get ready for another Tan Suit Controversy.

 We know this play by now. The GOP goes crazy because a Democratic president takes a few hours (or days) off, even though their own guy set the presidential record for the most time spent playing golf. (And using his own facilities so the government has to pay him for his own protection.) And famously only worked a couple of hours per day, setting aside vast portions of “executive time” for watching Fox “News” and sending incoherent tweets.

And now they want to throw shade on Biden for it? (Sorry, it looks like he already has some.)

I think every president needs some recharge time, some R&R. And that goes for presidents of both parties. I’m sick of this cheap blame game over something so universal.

And it’s not like no one can find him if something comes up. I guarantee he’s got a team nearby keeping tabs on whatever’s hot and can pull him in if need be. Every human, president or not, needs time to disengage and chill.

Republicans are probably just mad because they think he’s wasting the opportunity to direct government business into his own pocket. Maybe if he were charging the Secret Service to be on his own private beach, they would understand. Game recognizes game.