Helpful Stuff to Know

If you're new to Darwinfish2, I figured I should put up some kind of introductory page, chock full of helpful shit about me, my site and the cast of characters sometimes to pop up here.

My family is from Pittsburgh PA and most of my relatives still live there. Though we left "The Burgh" when I was 7, I learned to be a die-hard Steelers and Penguins fan. If the Pirates ever become relevant again, I will be their fan again too. I do root for the local Orioles, as their interests rarely conflict with the Pirates'.

I've also lived outside Chicago for 2 years, Columbus for 5 years, in the farmland outside Toledo for 10, Cleveland for 4, Albany NY for 7, and settled here in Baltimore in 1997.  I've been here ever since. I used to work downtown, ride the subway, and carry a bag, just like a real live grownup, at least until the 'Rona came to town so now I work from home.

So, here are some factoids about Darwinfish2 that may help you understand what it's all about:
  • I used to post 3 times per week about all kinds of issues, both national and personal, but now I'm down to once a week and it's almost always about news and politics. I usually respond to comments; I look at comments like the "after-party", and enjoy the give and take
  • In my first career, spanning 13 years in the 80s and 90s, I worked in music retail. I've always been a music geek. I'm an entertainment industry junkie. In March of 2010, I posted a series of stories from my music business days, featuring all my brushes with the greats and near-greats.  You can read the first one here, and the next 10 (if you're so inclined) immediately follow. (Just click "newer post.")
  • I am an unrepentant liberal and am prone to rant, from time to time, about the narrow-minded religious bigots trying to cram everyone into their particular tight-assed ideology or corporate shills that are trying to take the country away from the average American.
  • I have absolutely no use for organized religion. I know that some find comfort in their church and if they can keep it at that, I have no issue. The problem I have is when the Church People try to un-separate Church and State and butt into politics and public policy. Our country was founded, not only based on freedom of religion but freedom FROM religion. Be as religious as you want, just leave the rest of us, who value science over mythology, out of it.  
  • From time to time, you'll see "Director's DVD Commentary," either within a post or in Comments. This is where I reveal some behind-the-scenes stuff about the creation of that particular post, or some other peripheral point apart from the main post. It's modeled after the special features that show up on DVDs, where the director or actors talk about making the movie.
  • Yes, this blog was once banned in Bahrain.  You can read about it here.
  • You'll see some people turn up again and again in my posts...
    • Sweetpea: love of my life, partner in crime. We met in January of 2017, which you can read about here.
    • My parents: So many of my stories start with them... they have both formed the person I have become.  Mom occasionally comments here as "Mary Ann". We lost my dad in September of 2021 and the loss is still resonating. You may see a "Dad Story" pop up now and again, as I remember them.
    • My nephews, Dan (23) and Sam (18). Both belong to my younger brother. I don't have children of my own, so I have to borrow these guys to play with.  
    • My best friends, the Chairman of Fuck Off or CFO and the VP of Hell No. Until 2022, both lived in the aforementioned farmland outside Toledo. Now the CFO lives in Houston. We've been friends since high school and a guy could not ask for any better companionship than what I've gotten from these two guys. Of course, they're both Republicans, so we have to agree not to talk politics. We've also lost one... our friend Brill died in 2001 and he will never be forgotten.
Key passages from The Book of Bluz (a work in progress):

Bluz 3:16
"Anyone that claims to know the will of God is a fool or a con.  If they ask for money, it's the latter."

Bluz 3:17
"When in doubt, mind your own fucking business."

Bluz 3:18
Bluz' Maxim of Public Transportation: If you miss your train or bus by less than a minute, the next one will arrive late.

Bluz 3:19
"When you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one; least of all, yourself."

Bluz 3:20
"The only power that people around you have over you is that which you give them."

Bluz 3:21
"Bluz Rule of Relationships: One strike, yer out.  You only get one chance to break my heart."

Bluz 3:22
"The only way to guarantee that is doesn't rain is to go to great trouble to carry your rain gear.  The more pieces you carry, (ponchos, rain pants, umbrellas...) the less likely it is to rain."

Bluz 3:23
The Freedom of Speech Fallacy: "When people can't defend the content of a statement, they enthusiastically espouse the right to state it."

Bluz 3:24
Whether it's at a ballgame, a concert, or whatnot, if you're the only one standing up, you're an asshole.  A complete, self-centered, self-absorbed, inconsiderate, flaming asshole.  Everyone else who bought a ticket didn't pay to see your back all night.

Bluz 3:25, Subheading: Advice from Another Childless Douche

Urchin's Law: The perceived cuteness of a child is directly proportional to the emotional connection:


Perception of Child

Your child
Approaches “deity”

Child of sibling or close relative
Has looks of an angel, wisdom of Buddha

Child of close friend
An angel, with just enough devil to pay back your friend for their prior indiscretions

Child of distant relative
Instrumental in carrying on the family name, not much else

Random child in street or store
Target practice

Child on a plane

The Anti-Christ
*  A kid will give you as much shit as you will take.  You take no shit, you get no shit.
* There is no magic age to start a kid on learning your rules.  They don't just snap-to when they turn 4 or 5.  Training must start on Day One.  (Or at least Day 120)
* Be the parent, not their buddy.  You can try both but the first option has to trump the second.
* As soon as you give in to your child, you give them an incentive to argue about every future point.  They'll always know they've got a shot at getting their way if they can just wear you down.
* A united front is key.  Children are adept at playing one against the other.  The Chiefs must stand united against the Indians.  (A nod to my buddy John for the phrasing on this one.)
* Your primary mission is to teach your kids the skills to be and value in being independent.  Busting down all obstacles and smoothing every bump in the road is doing your kids a disservice.  Again, the will to stand on one's own does not just pop up when one hits 18.  Or 21.  Or any other age.  So sayeth Another Childless Douche.


Miley said...

OMG, LOVE that you did this page! I knew most of it already but I'm very glad to see it!

Perhaps I should do my own... my code names for people are getting long and confuzzled...

bluzdude said...

Gee, thanks for noticing… 2 months after the fact! Lol…

No, I figured I needed a place to declare what this site is about… my “Mission Statement” if you will. (And I hate those stupid corporate navel-gazing devices)

People that come here fresh should have somewhere to look and see whether they’ll feel at home here. Plus, I hate having to keep re-explaining the people and places.

Miley said...

Yep, I hear ya.
You know I've had an extremely busy summer - don't hate! :(

bluzdude said...

There's no hate! You're the only one to even comment here!

Miley said...

Oh, how true! See, it's because I'm the only one who REALLY loves you (Pinky aside, of course)

injaynesworld said...

Just stopped by from the comment you left on my blog. Apparently, you're the man of my dreams. I'm a redhead, too, but being that you're all the way on the opposite coast, it is unlikely that I will ever have the opportunity to pull a "Leann Rimes." Or a "Tori Spelling." Or any number of other skanky man-stealing bitches with the notable exception of Angelina Jolie because I was over Jennifer Aniston before Brad was. And let's face it, Angie is entitled to a little bad girl stuff because of all the good she does.

Seriously, as one bleeding-heart liberal to another, I look forward to reading your stuff and exchanging ideas.

bluzdude said...

Thanks for stopping by. I found your blog a couple weeks ago and have had it up on my blogroll ever since. (Hot liberal chicks are cool!)

Hope you enjoy visiting here... welcome to the club!

pammustard said...

Great page. So glad I stumbled upon your blog. I have much in common with your mindset and am pleased to meet someone who will never say "I am praying for you". Wtf does that even mean?! My husband has a darwin fish proudly displayed on the back of our car. So sorry you were banned from Bahrain. How hurtful. :) I must go give that post a read!

bluzdude said...

So glad you came by. I’m looking forward to having you join the conversation!

RO said...

Very cool that your friends and family don't mind being named. My son wants nothing to do with my blog, and is simply called "He, who shall not be named". True love with Sweet Pea is glorious! P.S. Looks like I may have found someone else who's into music and movies as much as I am which is good because my family gets sick of my trivia.(lol) Hugs...RO

RO said...

I clearly have no life because I'm still commenting on this post from 9 years ago, and you tell I have a new computer.(lol) My son is 35 now, but I can totally relate to the Perception of Child piece. I'm the friend and family member who refuses to babysit, even if they leave me in the waiting room while they see the doctor.(lol) The one place I can deal with a small child is on the plane,because I'm not actually 'dealing ' with them. I just feel really bad for the parent trying to figure out how to calm the little guy or girl down.

RO said...

I hope it's okay that I "borrowed" your meme about why you/we decided to use Twitter. I've been laughing about that for days, because it fits so many of us perfectly. (lol)

bluzdude said...

Of course. I mean, It's not like I made up "Dilbert."

bluzdude said...

I did a lot of that early on, before I knew any better. If I were starting now, I probably wouldn't.

Anonymous said...

Yellow font is very hard to read. But, great and insightful blog!

Mark Alexander said...

HOW have I missed your work all these years? And how long have you been lurking in mine?!

bluzdude said...

I found your site via Infidel753's Sunday links yesterday, so that's how I found your blog. He's been linking me on Sundays since last year, so you've had your chances! Nice to "meet" you.