Super Bowling Pt 2

Part 1 of this story is immediately below.  If this is the first thing you're seeing, you should scroll down and start at the beginning.  It'll make much more sense that way.

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We could see from the TV monitors in the casino that the lines to get in were tremendous.  Once we could see that they were letting people in, we got moving and got into line… a line that was over 6 blocks long.  Enterprising citizens of Detroit were selling beers from store doorways, which helped pass the time.  Also helping kill time were the group of anti-abortion protesters holding graphic signs and screaming at everyone in line.

God’s children, ruining everyone’s time in line.

They were really bothering our friend Margaret, as they were calling everyone sinners, apparently for going to a football game and not spending the day in church.  I’m not sure what their excuse was.  Margaret tried to plead her case to them but of course they just kept up with their speechifying.  I tried to tell her that these people weren’t interested in listening to anyone; they were only interested in condemning them.

Most of the time, stadiums have multiple entrances all around the venue.  For the Super Bowl, there was only one, although there might have been another on the opposite side.  That’s what made the lines so long… that and the giant security station.  They had a large tented area were everyone had to go through an airport-like security check.  They checked our bags, did a pat down and we walked through the big metal detectors.

Once through that, it was home free.  We skipped on up to the entrance, eager for our first sip of Super Bowl atmosphere.  But first I had to stop and stare at little Linda Cohn, sportscaster with ESPN, as she interviewed people in the crowd.  I would have stayed longer and was hoping to get a picture but the rest of my crew was steadily steaming ahead.

It was weird seeing all the Lions signage inside Ford Field.  You just don’t mentally link the Lions with the idea of the Super Bowl.  But the venue was indeed very nice.

My parents, showing off their tickets, on the concourse behind the corner of the end zone.

We were stunned to find how good our seats were… 2^nd row of the 2^nd deck.  And in the row in front of us, it was nothing but press photographers.  This was great, because they never stand up, they just sit there with their one-legged camera stands and long lenses.

This was our vantage point. 

At least this was my vantage point.  Ed and Margaret sat a couple rows behind my parents, Bob and me.

The players all ran out from the corner at our lower right.  The towels were really flying, but it’s hard to tell from the shot.

This looks more like what we saw.  I believe this shot is from the Post Gazette.

I couldn’t get over the ratio of Steeler fans to Seahawk fans.  It’s like they weren’t even there.  I’d put the ration at 85/15.  Steeler fans owned the place.  This became evident during the introductions of the past Super Bowl MVPs.  When Franco ran out as the MVP of Super Bowl IX, waving a terrible towel, the place just went crazy.  And you should have heard the boos for Tom Brady when he went out.  You could see him laughing about it.

Pre-game entertainment was stellar.  Stevie Wonder played a rocking medley of his hits, then Aaron Neville and Aretha Franklin blew out the National Anthem.  That’s when it really hit me that I was actually at the Super Bowl.  I wished like hell my friend Brill could have seen this day.  I couldn’t help but tear up, just a bit.

But then the player introductions began and there were yells to yell and towels to wave.  I’ll never forget Jerome Bettis charging alone onto the field, whooping and hollering, then turning around and going, “Where the hell is everybody?”  We couldn't see Joey Porter holding everyone back, but we figured as much.  It was a classy move to give the Bus his spotlight in his hometown.

The game had an under whelming start.  The Seahawks seemed to move up and down the field at will, firing short pass after short pass.  The Steelers went 3 and out time after time and couldn't seem to get out of their own way.

The Steelers, starting at their own 20, for the umpteenth time.

We went to halftime, up 7-0, owing to a short run from Ben.  Whether he crossed the goal line is still debated.  The Seahawks have been whining about it ever since.  As far as I’m concerned, photos I’ve seen online remove all doubt.  He didn’t make it by more than an eyelash, but he made it.

The halftime show was great… It was the Stones!  We were in the same building as Mick and Keef!  Just breathing the same air as Keith Richards will add at least 3 years to your life.  

The 2^nd half began with a bang, as Willie Parker ripped off a 75-yard run right into our end zone.  The place just went berserk.  I will never forget the sight of Fast Willie churning down the field, with no one else even close to him.  There was exactly zero suspense about that play.  He got past the line and was just gone! 

After that, the Steelers just started putting the game away, while the Seahawks blew play after play.  They were called for penalties and dropped several key passes.  Looked like a serious case of the yips, to me.

The Steelers administered the coup de grace with the Antwaan Randle El pass to Hines.  That play went away from us but was on our side of the field.  You could see Hines streaking wide open and we just prayed that the pass would end up somewhere near him.  It was a true thing of beauty.

Bob, my parents and moi, realizing that the Steelers were going to win Super Bowl XL.

On the Seahawks last possession, they worked very hard to remove any suspense.  Their 2-minute drill was atrocious as they pissed away a great deal of time.  When the clock ran out, I barely realized it.  But then there is was.  The Pittsburgh Steelers were Super Bowl Champions, finally attaining that legendary “One for the Thumb.”

Bedlam on the field, as the trophy presentation stage is set up at midfield.

When I was a teenager, Super Bowl championships seemed to be my birthright.  Next thing you know, 26 years had rolled by and my perspective had changed.  Only then did I begin to understand what my dad had gone through with the Steelers, prior to 1972.  Nothing makes victory sweeter than the endless years of failed seasons.

We stayed for a while, just soaking in the winning vibe.  We saw the trophy accepted and handed around.  We saw the Bus retire after a long, fabulous career.  We cheered when Hines Ward was named MVP.

This shot was specially framed to include the final score.

But eventually we had to get the hell out of Dodge, so we high-tailed it to our outlying parking lot and actually got out to the freeway in pretty good time.  We got back to my buddy John’s house about 1:00 am, to find that he was still up and waiting for us with some Gentlemen Jack.

We toasted all around, to a great season, to a satisfying victory, to good family and friends and to the joy of being a Pittsburgh Steelers fan.

The ticket to my dreams.

All pictures, with the one noted exception, were taken by my brother or me.  You may click on any of them to see a larger, clearer version.  bluz

Super Bowling Pt 1

With Super Bowl XLIV taking place this weekend, it’s time to dip into the family grab bag of Super Bowl stories.

Super Bowl XIII

My dad has always had to travel for business and developed quite a knack for scheduling trips to places where the Steelers just so happened to be playing, (like the Steelers/Dolphins Thursday night game I blogged about here.)

Dad hit the jackpot when he scheduled a trip to Miami for Super Bowl XIII; the 2^nd Steelers/Cowboys Super Bowl.  Once in Miami, he planned on going down to the Orange Bowl and buying a ticket on the street.

On his way there, sitting at a red light in a rented convertible, someone called to him from another car, “Hey, need a ticket?”

Just like that, Dad had a game ticket for the grand price of $40.  Now the question was, is it a real ticket and if so, where were the seats?

The answer was “yes,” and “the 40 yard line, surrounded by celebrities.”  Dad was sitting among OJ Simpson, one of his linemen and a dazzling blond he later recognized as the ill-fated Nicole, Ted Knight, and Joe DiMaggio.  There may have been others but I don’t remember the rest.  Ted Knight actually bought him a hot dog.  I think it went like this:


Ted: Would you like a hot dog?
Dad: I want a hamburger... no, a cheeseburger.  I want a hot dog, I want a milkshake, I want potato chips...
Ted: You'll get nothing and like it!

Hot dog in hand, he then had the privilege of watching one of the most exciting Super Bowls ever played. 

Super Bowl XXX

At the time, it killed me not to be able to go to this one.  The Steelers hadn’t been in a Super Bowl for 15 years, which seemed like an eternity at the time.

Both my brother and my dad were going.  Both were able to arrange business trips to the area, so plane fare and hotels were covered.  I was not so lucky.

I’d just gotten married, lost a job and had only recently started working again.  I knew better than to even mention wanting to go, so I had to settle for living vicariously through my brother and dad.

They came back telling great stories about the swarms of Steelers fans that took over the town.  They said the Cowboys fans just didn’t know what to make of them.  The hotel had 2 large outdoor tents; one for each set of fans.  The Cowboys tent seemed to be a more sedate affair… lots of moneyed people wearing firs and boots. 

The Steelers tent was, well, I’m sure you could imagine.  It was a raucous affair with lots of IC Light, good food and dancing.  Dad spent a good part of the night doing the polka with whoever wanted a quick whirl.

The game, however was another story.

I’ve never experienced a more soul-crushing loss in all my Steeler-watching years.  The 2^nd half comeback was riveting!  The onside kick recovery was a ballsy call.  The Big Nasty D had the Cowboys’ offense’s number.  The Cowboys had no answer for Bam Morris and were completely back on their heels.  The Steelers were one score back and the game was Right There for the taking.

Then came that 2^nd interception.  I don’t even remember anything that happened after that play.  I don’t remember the rest of the game, our party guests leaving, or even going to bed.  I do remember being very glad I didn’t mortgage the farm to go to that game.  Can there be anything worse than attending your very first Super Bowl, going through hell’s half acre to get there and then lose?

Which brings us to...

Super Bowl XL  

2005 was an incredible season that really started in 2004.  That was Ben’s rookie year.  We went to a lot of games that year… We saw the Steeler lose at Baltimore, in the game that made Ben a starter after Maddox got hurt.  We saw the very next game, Ben’s first start, against the Dolphins in Miami, following Hurricane Jeanne.  (Full story of that adventure is blogged here and part 2 is here.)  We saw the game against the Jets in Pittsburgh.

My brother lucked out and hit the Steeler Season Ticket Waiting List Lottery for the playoffs and so we then had the opportunity to go to the Jets game, featuring the Holy Doink (Jets kicker misses 2 field goals, including one off the post) and the AFC Championship game against the Patriots (aka Soul-Crushing loss #2).

Getting this far with a rookie QB made the prospects for the 2005 season very bright.  That year we traveled to Green Bay for the Steelers/Packers game and saw the Steelers lose in OT in Baltimore as Tommy Maddox had to step in for an injured Ben. 

After losing 3 in a row, the Steelers won their last 4, starting with the Bus rolling over the Bears in a Heinz Field snowstorm.  They charged into the playoffs with the 6^th seed and a game in Cincinnati.  That’s where my brother and I met this clown and almost had to fight our way out of the parking lot:

Huge wins against the Colts (the Heart Attack game) and the Broncos (a Mile High shellacking) set up the Jerome Bettis Homecoming Super Bowl in Detroit MI.  As I touched on in this post, this game was the perfect storm. 

First of all, it was within driving distance, eliminating the need for airfare.  Second, we grew up in Toledo and have a great nest of friends there.  We could stay with them and forget about hotel reservations.  All we had to do was get tickets.  This job is always entrusted to my brother, The Ticketmaster.

He was able to secure a block of tickets, but it wasn’t going to be cheap.  There was a block of 6 tickets available at $2600 apiece.  That was a big chunk to swallow.  To do this, I’d have to devote my entire annual bonus and tax return, then live fairly lean for the rest of the year.  Even so, it was still going to be uncomfortably tight, so my brother and dad told me to fork over the 2K and they’d help with the rest.  For this I have been eternally grateful.

So my parents planned to fly up from Florida and Ed and I drove out from Baltimore.  The other 2 ticket were claimed by long-time football trip-going friends.  Bob, who came with us on the Hurricane Trip and many other football adventures, drove out from Charlotte NC.  The other ticket went to Margaret, an old Toledo neighbor who was a veteran of the many Cleveland trips we undertook in the 80’s.

Weather was an issue, however.  We had to bump up our departure time and plow through some snow to get to my buddy’s house, but we made it uneventfully.  Bob had a much tougher time coming up from the south.

Normally when you think of going to the Super Bowl, you’re thinking about sunshine and palm trees.  Not so with this one.  Detroit was coated with about a foot of snow and temps were in the 20’s.  It was terribly difficult to find our war around because all the street signs were covered with blown snow.  And apparently all Detroit could afford by way of event signage were some marker-on-cardboard signs, which were taped under various street signs. 

Our first order of business was to secure the tickets.  To do that, we had to get to a Detroit hotel, where the sellers (ticket brokers) had a “suite.”  How long could that take?

Answer, “forever.”  There was a line that snaked back and forth across the entire width of the hotel floor, crammed with people full of Super Bowl dreams.  Gee, it seems there’s a lot of money to be made in reselling Super Bowl tickets.  What I wonder is where they all came from?  These brokers had access to literally thousands of tickets.  Don’t tell me there’s not a ton of back-room dealing at the league level.  It also occurred to me that it would make a great “heist” movie if someone could do a story about ripping off a ticket broker at the Super Bowl.  I’m picturing “Ocean’s Eleven”, with jocks.

Our tickets came with a tailgate party, which we located about 11:00 and was within sight of the stadium. 

It looked close, but of course, "you couldn't get there from here."  We had a long way to go before we could get inside.

Unfortunately it didn’t officially “start” until noon, so we had nothing to do but stand around and freeze.  When it finally did open, we realized that cold beers and lukewarm hot dogs were not really helping our attitudes, so we bailed on the tailgate and went to hang out in a Greektown casino.  I figure I’ve paid my suffering-in-the-snow tailgating dues with that 11-degree game against the Patriots.

Our tailgate site.

 Family portrait... Freezing together, cheesing together.

Next: It’s Gametime!

Big Giant Killer Death Storm

Yep, here comes another one.  Sources say that tonight’s storm should be very close to what we had on December 19^th.  Since I live-blogged that one at the time, I don’t see the reason to go on about this one.  In fact, I could probably post all the same pictures again and it would be just as accurate.

I apologize for not writing much this week.  After the initial flurry when I was home sick last weekend, I was pretty much out of energy by the time I’d get home from work.

My job for tomorrow will be to write and post about our big 2006 adventure to Detroit for Super Bowl XL.

Until then, take a look at these flowcharts I received in email this week.  I have to do procedure flowcharts at work, so I’m always tickled when I see things like these.  You can click on the images to bring up a larger version. 

These are ads for Goldstar, a leading dark draft beer from Israel.

What goes through your mind when someone says, “Let’s go for a drink?”

Homeless Thoughts

I’m still fighting the cold, but fighting it while going to work now.  So by the time I get home, I’m not much up for tackling a big topic.  But I haven’t posted since Sunday and that’s like a month ago in Blog-Time, so to fulfill my “Blogual duties”, I thought I’d mine my “Homeless Thoughts” document for some quick material.

That’s what I call the document that I use to store some of the weird little ideas that float through my head, so I can use them for times like this.

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A while back, I saw that in a Middle Eastern country, the government fired tear gas into a crowd of funeral mourners.  I wonder how they knew if the tear gas even worked. 

*****

If you feel too old to remember your high school Spanish, would that be considered a “señor” moment?

*****

Wouldn’t it be cool if one could throw in a couple of shout-outs into a work memo, the way athletes do when they get interviewed on TV?

From: Operations

Subject: Plan Requirements

First let me say hi to Mom and Dad, who taught me how to write, and a big ‘hey’ to Sassy up on the Bay… Never give up, babeeee…

It is time to begin the annual Plan Certification process for 2010.  As part of this process…

*****

Lastly, I just discovered an update to the Bud Lite Swear Jar commercial I posted on Saturday.  It’s not quite the same belly laugh as I got from the swear jar, but still funny.  (and if you never played the Swear Jar video, scroll down and do it!)  Presenting: the Bud Lite Clothing Drive!

Things To Do When You're Sick

I’m still feeling pretty awful today… this is a bad one, as far as my colds go.  And I’m way early… I usually get sick once a year, around October.

 Anyway, Pinky has been working all weekend, which leaves me rambling around here by myself.  This is a good thing, because I get pretty grumpy. 

So what does one do when one doesn’t feel like doing anything? 

Here is my list:

1)      Go through all the DVDs you haven’t put away because you haven’t watched all the special features, and watch the special features.

2)      Practice saying “Luke… I am your father,”

and “We got it together, didn’t we babeh?”

3)      Figure out what to make to eat that requires the least possible effort.

4)      Shred all your old bill statements that have been collecting since 2003.

5)      See how many layers of clothes you can put on and still be cold.

6)      See how many giant hacks of phlegm you can get in the toilet before becoming grossed out enough to flush.

7)      Count how many distinct parts of your body hurt.

8)      Practice your “Calling in Sick to Work” voice.

9)      Wave your hands in front of your face and look for the vapor trail.

10)  Imitate the alien sounds from the Tom Cruise version of War of the Worlds.

Then watch the Pens game at 12:30.  Whoo Hoo!  And repeat the list.

Odd Bits - Sick and Tired Edition

That’s me today, sick and tired. 

I started getting sore throat yesterday afternoon and I got very little sleep last night because the congestion kept closing my throat up when I’d nod off.  I spent most of the night trying to sleep upright in my chair.  So excuse me if I’m a little unfocused and disjointed while I sit here, whacked on store-brand NyQuil, with my throat feeling like it’s full of ground glass, trying to peck out a little something for your entertainment.

It worked out well the last time I got sick… I taught myself how to make a primitive Internet video.  I wouldn’t count on such magic again this time.

*****

We’re getting a piece of that Big Killer Death Storm that’s been icing it’s way across the country.  I just looked out my window and saw a lady walking in the snow with an umbrella.

Is that a thing elsewhere in the country?  I swear, I’ve never in my life seen someone with an umbrella in the snow, before I moved to Baltimore.  Is that just part of the local Baltimore snow-hysteria, or do other people do it too and I just never noticed?

*****

It was only for a fund-raiser, I swear!  I know that carmel corn and summer sausage aren’t the best things for me, but it’s for The Children! 

My good buddy’s daughter was circulating a website where we, her benefactors, can make purchases that go to her school choir.  So that’s how I came to be in possession of these particular treats. 

And that also explains how I came to tell Pinky last night, “Leave me alone to check my email or I’ll have to beat you with my beef stick,” and it actually made sense.

Boy, I wish we had fund raising websites when I was a kid.  We used to have to haul our little asses up and down the street, knocking on doors and trying to sell candy, leaf bags, flower seeds… God, I hated that.

I figure it was all a plot for my parents to get me kidnapped.  One less mouth to feed and all.

*****

You know it’s cold outside when you come in the house and go sit on the toilet the seat is actually feels warm on your ass.

I also think the only thing worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat is sitting on a warm one and not knowing who just warmed it up.

*****

You know what else I wonder?  Is arm hair genetically programmed to grow only that long?  Or does it just fall out before it can grow long like head hair?

OK, that was probably the NyQuil talking.

I’ve always hated my hair.  All I ever wanted was to have nice, smooth, perfect bangs and hair that lay down just so.  Preferably blonde. 

No luck though…  I had hair that just would not obey.  One side would always flip in, the other side would flip outward.  As a teenager, I would blow-dry my hair straight down and then put on a ski cap… winter, summer, whatever… all in an attempt to bring some kind of order to my hair.

It worked like a charm though, right up until the time I’d take off the ski cap to go to school and the first molecule of air would blow by my skull and BANG… hair going every which way.

It wasn’t until I got to college that I finally came to an understanding with my hair.  I was visiting one of my buddies in Georgia on vacation and was just sick and tired of messing with the mop on my head.  So I dove in the pool, got out, shook off my head and said, “Whatever it does, that’s what it will be.  I give up.”

Turns out, I had curly hair.  Even more so after I took my buddy’s mom’s advice and got a perm.  Made me look like the drummer from the band, Boston.  But once that passed I had a brief spell when everything looked OK.

I say “brief” spell because just as soon as I accepted the hair with which I was graced, it all fell out… I was cueballed by 25.

Sometimes life is grossly unfair.

But I make up for it now in time saved by getting haircuts that take all of 7 minutes.  Add that to my sock-sorting time saved and I get a nice cache nest of free time.

Now I just have to figure out a way to cash it in, preferably right after my alarm goes off on cold winter mornings.

*****

Now before I go and try to nap, let me leave you with this… 

This video just cracks me right the hell up every time I see it.  It’s a Bud Lite ad that may have run during a previous Super Bowl, but I’m not sure.  I would love to see something like this in my office… 

Poop!

Getting the Country Off the Dime

I actually enjoyed the State of the Union speech last night.  I’d forgotten just how engaging our President could be

I especially liked how he was saying things that I’ve been yelling at the TV for the last 6 months (like, “the economy wasn’t broken, I found it this way,” or “If you can’t get in line then just get the hell out of the way!”).

I couldn’t believe the bold faced dis on the Supremes, as they were sitting right up front.  I practically did a touchdown dance, right there on my couch, and spiked the remote.

(By the way, does anyone know how to fix a remote?)

Then this morning I heard Justice Alito mouthed the words “that’s not true”, regarding what will happen to our elections following their latest “Shilling for Big Business Since 2006” ruling.

 Not true?  Really?

Does the Good Justice think that the corporations, that he’s just given practical citizenship rights to, are going to go deep into their storage closet and locate some sense of conscience and restraint?

Or are they going to spend money hand over fist to pack the Congress with lackeys that will ensure that their profits are never hindered by trivialities like public safety or industry regulation?

I really shouldn’t be surprised they ruled this way… the next time the Roberts Court finds in favor of the common people over the rich and well connected, it will be the first time.

I didn't blog about this ruling back when it happened… there were too many others that already did it better and more richly than I, Carpetbagger and Last Door on the Left (who provided Keith Olbermans take on the subject), I’m looking at you.  But Alito’s feigned astonishment last night made me want to get my 2 cents in.

As I commented on Carpetbagger’s site:

“There is only one thing that can combat the corporate advertising influence: Education and skepticism. As a nation, we need to look past the slick advertisements and misrepresentations seen in so many polical ads, because they are about to become slicker and more misrepresentier. And more pervasive. Only our own ability to think critically and questions can save us.

Now what do you think are the odds of that happening across the country are?

Sigh.  Me too.”

My Way 101

I’m always getting accused of being too regimented and rigid, be it at work or home.

I always deny that, of course.  I prefer to think of it as seeking the best solutions and methods and then using them.  Why be “flexible” when you’re already doing things right?

To me it’s simply a quest for efficiency.  If, through trial and error, I find the shortest route somewhere, or the perfect time and temperature to cook pork chops, why do it some other way?  I believe here is value in saving time and effort, even if it’s only to blow it on blogging.

Making Tracks

I take the subway to work downtown every day.  And when you do something like that every day for almost 12 years, you learn things.

I know to select the set of doors that will leave me at the foot of the stairs at the station at which I arrive and where to stand so that the doors open right in front of me.  I also know that when I’m going to work, to sit so that I’m traveling backwards.  That way, the sun comes in the window over my shoulder and lights my newspaper.  If I sat the other way, it would be shining directly through it, making it hard to read.

So is it really “rigid” if I stand in the same place every morning and try to sit in the same seat?  Or am I just reaping the benefit of experience?

I also have 2 options for walking from the subway to my building.  One involves going through an adjacent building versus just walking around the corner.  Obviously one way is better if it’s raining, but otherwise?

Once a buddy of mine that also rode the subway was talking with another guy when he nabbed me walking by his cube and asked, “Hey bluz, which way is shorter, going through the building or walking around the corner?”

I immediately replied, “It’s 5 steps shorter to go around the corner.”

He busted out laughing, turning to another guy and saying, “I told you he’d know…”

What?  Of course I checked.  It’s the simple scientific method.  Experiment and measure.  Who wouldn’t check it out?

OK, not many, from what I hear.

When lunch comes around, I always leave between 11:45 and noon.  Why?  Because everyone else leaves right at noon.  If I’m not at my chosen lunch establishment before then, I can look forward to wasting 10 to 15 minutes in line, rather than 5.  Lord knows I need those extra minutes for the Friday crossword puzzles.

Sock it To Me

When I was young and newly on my own, sorting socks from the dryer became the bane of my existence.  I had about a dozen pairs of dress socks I had to wear for work; all were black, brown or dark blue.  Matching them all up under the dim light of my bedroom became a problem.  God forbid I show up at work with mismatched socks!  So I’d be in there examining the ankle patterns on the top of the sock and the thinness of the soles, trying to get them all mated.

One night I had an epiphany and shortly thereafter, brought home a box of safety pins.  I then pinned every damned sock to its mate.  Problem solved.  They never again had to be matched or even folded.  I could just scoop them all up and stuff them in the drawer.  In the morning, I could grab one and pull… the mate would follow. 

This idea alone is worth the price of admission!

Then in a real stroke of brilliance, I realized that when I got dressed, I could then use the safety pin to attach the tail of my tie to the back of the front part, so that it didn’t separate during the day.  (I’m 6’3”; so I have to tie my tie long, which leaves the tail short of the little loop it’s supposed to go through.)

Do you think the time saved here doesn’t add up?  Consider this:

It took me probably 5 minutes of sock sorting per laundry load.  I do laundry roughly every 2 weeks. 

5 minutes x 24 laundry weeks in a year = 120 minutes/year saved. 

I started this drill around 1986,  24 years ago.

120 minutes x 24 years = 2880 minutes.

2880 minutes /60 minutes = 48 hours. 

That’s 2 full days of non-stop sock sorting that I didn’t have to do.  Woooooooo!

  

Audacity of Change

Another organizer/time saver is that when I empty my pockets of change, rather than tossing them in a jar or something, I stack’em up.  I learned, during my career as a retailer, that the easiest way to count a drawer full of change is to count in small increments and stack them up.  Then you really only have to count the first stack and just line up the rest to match.

In daily life, you don’t usually bring home great gobs of change, so it takes about 5 seconds to add my coins to the stacks.  When the stack reaches rolling level, or rather, when I have enough stacked to roll nickels, dimes and quarters, I do it.  Takes all of 5 minutes and there was no sorting or counting needed.

What to do with your rolled coins?  Can’t help you there. 

But I can tell you that movie theaters don’t like it when you use 3 rolls of nickels to pay for a matinee.

Now We’re Cooking

Brotha’s gotta eat… I’ve been doing my own cooking for almost all my adult life.  Again, through trial and error, I have a very good idea of how long to cook things like chops, chicken, steaks and fish, and what temperature to use so that they come out tender and juicy every time.  So why wouldn’t I use the same temp each time set the timer? 

Pinky is not so encumbered.  She cooks things at whatever temperature she feels like and takes it out of the oven when she wants to eat.  I’m amazed that it almost always comes out good.  (Although I did have to strongly suggest some times and temps, to avoid the dreaded dry meat.)

I did learn something in the kitchen from her though…  I learned to keep my big yap shut when someone else is making my dinner. 

After all, I’m not that regimented.

Auf Wiedersehen to the Scorpions

I read this morning that the hard rock band The Scorpions has announced their retirement.  I’m kind of bummed about that, because it’s just one more of the touchstone bands from my youth calling it quits.  I shouldn’t have to worry about it any time soon, though.  They’re retiring AFTER they release one more album and AFTER they go on a 3-year world tour. 

Some people really know how to say goodbye.

What I always loved about the Scorpions was that not only were there lots of loud guitars, they had hooks.  Every song came with a hook in the chorus that was a mile wide.  And they also could do a wicked ballad.  In fact, I think they practically invented the power ballad with “Still Loving You.”

In 2000 they cut an absolute powerhouse of an album with the Berlin Symphony Orchestra.  If ever there was a group to marry metal hooks with classical thunder, these were the guys.  In fact, those of you that watch Pittsburgh Penguins hockey have probably heard some of it.  The Pens sometimes use the symphonic version of “Rock You Like a Hurricane” for when they come out of intermission.  Check it out here:

(Seriously, just press play. I get such a kick out of seeing these old white-haired dudes, bald dudes and assorted hot chicks sawing their violins like Charlie Daniels in that Geico commercial, with all those power chords surrounding them)

I’ll always have a soft spot for the Scorps because they were the first group I ever got to meet using a backstage pass.  I got the tickets and backstage passes through my job at the Peaches record store in Toledo OH and took my buddy Brill.  There, we met up with Janet, a fellow DJ from the Bowling Green radio station. Since she was also working at the FM rock station in town, we figured we’d stay close to her because she’d know her way around these events.  In truth, none of us knew what the hell we were doing.  We just sort of wandered around, looking for rock stars.  Later, I learned that there were usually scheduled times and places to do the meet and greet with the band. 

My backstage pass from the night.

Not much happened while we were backstage while the opening act was playing.  It was like, “Where’s the Scorpions? When are they coming?  Hey, is that one?” 

No one knew anything.

Then the opening act that had just finished walked through, some group called Bon Jovi.  They were touring on their first album.  I had actually known and liked one of their songs, but we were like, “who’s the guy with the hair?” 

When we saw that we weren’t going to going to see the Scorpions any time soon, we went back to our seats to watch the show.  They were touring on Love At First Sting, and their show rocked, highlighted by their one of their guitarists falling off a speaker bank, and getting dragged off the stage by roadies.  OK, I don’t think that it was part of the act, but the rest of the band never missed a beat.  They just demonstrated their German discipline by re-spacing themselves across the stage and continuing to jam.  But I do believe they skipped one of their encore songs, “No One Like You,” (their biggest hit before Hurricane) because of that fall. 

Backstage after the show was a much livelier event.  It was like the United Nations of Rock and Roll.  With the Scorpions being German, many of their personnel had German accents.  But we also heard English, Scottish, and various Eastern European accents rattling through the halls.  It made me want to start handing out Halls lozenges, with all the “hcccccch” I was hearing.

After a time, two band members came out to meet a delegation of radio contest winners (and leather-clad groupies).  It was explained that more were scheduled to come out, but it was a “rough show” (what with the plummeting guitarist and all). 

Anyway, I had their singer Klaus Meine, and bassist Francis Buchholtz sign my Love at First Sting album.  My pen, (a blue Bic, as I was not yet hip to the Sharpie…if they had even been invented yet) was not writing easily and poor Francis could barely articulate his problem to me.  And his accent was so heavy I could barely understand him.

The trophy from my backstage safari.

But the important part was that we went backstage and met some famous people.  Brill summed it all up best, as he surveyed the post-show atmosphere.  He said with some derision, “Look at all these sluts with the spandex and leather and make-up.” 

Then he added softly, “I wish I was a rock star.”

Best Steelers Games of the Decade

Pittsburgh Post Gazette’s Steelers beat writer, Ed Bouchette, is preparing an article on the best Steelers games of the 2000’s.  Yesterday, in the PG+ (pay) section, he solicited opinions from the reading public.

Rather than listing mine there where only paying customers can see, I decided to go all Man of the People and post mine here…  absolutely free, for no cost, gratis.  You’re welcome. 

You’ll find that my choices are not necessarily based on the quality of the game or degree of the Steelers skill in winning.  These are the games that affected me on an emotional level, right down to the DNA.

5.  Steelers/Browns 2002 Playoff Game

This was the one where the Browns went out to a 17-point lead and Tommy Maddox fired a huge 4^th quarter comeback.  It was also the game in which the fabled “Renegade” video made its debut.  The downside is that it led to the ill-fated “pass first, run with Amos Zereoue second” experiment.

This game makes the list mostly because of my dad’s influence.  This was a case of a “Classic Browns Loss”, meaning one where they get just close enough to smell the victory before it gets yanked away from them in brutal fashion.

Even the last play of the game was a tease…

4.  Super Bowl XLIII: Steelers/Cardinals

What a game.  I was living and dying on the edge of my chair as the Steelers jumped out to a lead and then came very close to pissing the game away.  James Harrison pulled off the longest play in Super Bowl history with his 100-yard interception return for a touchdown as time ran out in the first half.  As he was running down the sideline, I was acutely aware that if he didn’t get in the end zone, the entire return would have been for naught.  (Well, aside from preventing the Cards from scoring.)

When the Cards scored to take the lead late, I was about to head for the steak knives in the kitchen.  But then I realized that there were still 2 minutes left.  Hell, that’s plenty of time for Ben to drive down the field.  He’d been doing it all year and damned if he didn’t do it again.  Santonio’s toe-tapping grab for the final TD was simply brilliant.  But God, how stressful was that waiting for the review to confirm the call?  I almost shredded my Terrible Towel with my bare hands, waiting for it.  

Was worth it though.  But we still had to sweat through the Cards' final possession.  They still had 35 second left and Warner was no slouch either.  The final sack and fumble put the perfect seal on the game.

On the downside, it made all my 5-Time Super Bowl Champion merchandise obsolete. 

3.  Steelers/Colts 2005 Playoff Game

 This was the most stressful game I’ve ever seen.

The Steeler trashed all expectations and came out throwing, opening up a quick 14-0 lead.  The defense was getting to Manning and sacked him twice in the 1^st half.  Later when the Colts were starting to move, Troy Polamalu came up with another clutch interception, but the refs mistakenly overturned it.  The Colts eventually scored on that drive.  The NFL issued an apology the next day.  To me this Exhibit 1 of proof of why the NFL is not biased to favor the Steelers, as so many Ravens and other sore-loser fans constantly espouse.

When Joey Porter crashed in twice to sack Manning on 3^rd and 4^th down deep in Colts territory, late in the game, everyone knew the game was iced.  Steelers had 1^st and goal inside the Colts 5.  A couple of runs from Jerome Bettis would put the game out of reach.

Except it didn’t.  Gary Brackett of the Colts put his helmet on the ball and the Bus fumbled… his only fumble of the entire season.  Nick Harper of the Colts was racing the other way, heading for a go-ahead touchdown, before Ben somehow came up with a shoestring tackle.

The Colts advance as far as field goal range before the Steelers defense could stop them.  Then as the Steeler Nation held their collective breath, the most accurate kicker in the league hooked the field goal attempt wide right.

Such a turn of events that game was… from the top of the world to the depths of despair and back again.  Everyone knew the Bus was going to retire after that season.  A fumble on the goal line leading to a playoff loss was NOT the way his career deserved to end.  I was totally exhausted by the end of this game and emotionally spent.

I also knew that the Denver Broncos were NOT keeping this team out of the Super Bowl… not with this kind of mojo going.  (By the way, this was the first season I kept my Mojo Tracking Spreadsheet, to chart the most effective Steelers gear to wear.  You’re welcome.)

2.  Steelers/Ravens Monday Night Massacre

In 2006, the Ravens hung an ugly loss on the Steelers in Baltimore, 27-0.  They just beat the hell out of Big Ben, sacking him like 7 times.  Bart Scott had an especially wicked blindside shot to Bens spine.  It seemed to me that the Ravens D was in his head.  Ben had never looked very effective against them.

The next game they played was a Monday Night in Pittsburgh, the following year.  The Steelers wore their throwback jerseys and just pummeled the living shit out of the Ravens on national television, 38-7 (and the “7” came in garbage time).

Ed Reed had a rough night.  First James Harrison separated Reed from both the ball and his senses on a punt return.

Later, Hines Ward also blew him up.

I think of this hit whenever the Rattie fans cry about Hines being a dirty player.  Do you see where Hines hit him?  Square in the front, helmet to chest.  Not from the back, not from the side, not at the knees.  Keep crying, bitches.  The NFL finally had to make up a rule this year.  Weenies…

Anyway, this was a game I needed.  Living here in Baltimore, I had to have some ammunition against these maggot Ratbird fans and it was delivered with a flourish.  Thank you to Mssrs. Harrison and Ward.  Ed Reed still wants someone to answer that damned phone.

1.  Super Bowl XL: Steelers/Seahawks

This one was a long time coming… 26 years since the last one.  When I was young, a Steelers Super Bowl appearance seemed to be my birthright.  Those were rich years that made me fall head over heels in love with Pittsburgh Steelers football.  Then came the 80’s.  (Cold shudder runs down back.)

I got to go to this game and I plan on posting on the whole experience as we draw closer to this year’s Super Bowl.  This was the top hat on an entire magical season.  There was the late-season rampage where every game was a must-win.  There were 3 incredible playoff games… the crazy win over the Bungles in Cincy, where my brother and I attended and almost got into a parking lot brawl, the stomach cancer-inducing game against the Colts (#3 above) and the Mile-High waxing of the Broncos.

It took 26 years to get back to this point. (Obviously I am ignoring Super Bowl XXX against the Cowboys, which I consider the all-time low point of my Steeler fan years.  I was practically comatose by the end of that one.)  26 years of ups and downs, good runs and bad, always with a crushing playoff loss in the end.

The Steelers were escorting Jerome Bettis to his hometown of Detroit, for what they knew would be his final game.  There was no way we were not going to be there, as it was a Perfect Storm.  The distance was drivable (no airfare).  We have friends in nearby Toledo (no hotels).  All we had to do was get tickets.  Luckily, my brother is known as The Ticketmaster.  We got our tickets… we paid dearly, but we got our tickets.

I’ll never forget sitting up in the 2^nd deck of the end zone, watching the pre-game festivities.  As Aaron Neville and Aretha Franklin sang the National Anthem, I thought about my friend Brill and how much he’d be enjoying the moment.

The Steelers looked like hell for the first half.  I was wondering if spending all that dough might have been a terrible mistake.  Then suddenly, Willie Parker came flying down the field straight towards us.  I think I became a bit possessed at that moment because I began speaking in tongues…or at least yelling in tongues.  It sounded something like:

GOWILLIEGOWILLIEGOWILLIEGOWILLIEYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

(Caution: Annoying song warning.  You may want to turn down the volume on this.)

At that moment, I knew we had a pretty good chance of winning.  Then when Antwaan Randle El lofted that perfect pass to Hines, we were right behind the play and could see Hines wide open, I knew the game would be ours.  I knew that the rap of Steeler fans having to live in the past would be over.  I knew that there was nothing anyone could say that would take this feeling away.

Not that they didn’t try, what with all the whining about penalty calls.  Geez, you’d thing the (scant few) Seahawks fans had been training in Baltimore.  Maggots… The Steelers made plays, the Seahawks committed the fouls, the refs called them.  End of story.

But that was it… a 26-year schneid was broken and I was there with my family and friends to see it.  Nothing can beat that.  Except maybe a couple of pork chops.