Oh my GAWD! The wine is running out! The wiiiiiiiine is running out!
I saw a news article today stating that due to increasing consumption and decreasing production, we may be looking at a worldwide wine shortage in the coming years.
Sitcom Kelly tipped me off to the story yesterday. I’m guessing she’s already converting her basement Pit into an earthen wine cellar, in anticipation of the wine drought. Best to lay in supplies now, while stock is full, choices are wide and prices are low. I mean, people are going to have to prepare for this. And wine will keep!
|Sitcom Kelly's recycle bin, after a long weekend.|
Granted, there may be a lot of male bloggers that lean on wine as well; I just don’t see them. Maybe I need to follow more dudes. (And that’s a line I never thought I’d type.)
I like wine as much as anyone, but I’m just as happy with beer or some Jack on the rocks. Call me when there’s a shortage of Miller Lite or Bud Ice.
As you can see from my pedestrian tastes, I’m certainly no beer snob. I like good old watery American light beer. (Or “ice” beer, for that extra kick.) Someone has to keep the major breweries in business…
My Uncle Gordon, who is English, once told me, “American beer is for people that don’t like the taste of beer.” I suppose he’s right, but whatevs… I likes what I likes.
Last weekend when I was at my regular sports bar watching the Steelers get their asses kicked again, (dammit…) the proprietor was all excited to get me to try a taste of his new pumpkin spiced ale. I took a taste, and said it was “OK,” but inside, I was like “Bleah! This tastes like ass.” I just don’t like strong beer. I’m surprised he couldn’t tell that, from my regular orders of Miller Lite. He probably just wanted to see the look on my face. Freakin’ Ratbird fans…
I can only imagine what might happen once this wine shortage goes into effect. Wine rationing? Check. Stampedes at the liquor store? Check. Purchasing grape futures? Check. People making bad wine at home? Check. Shady back-alley deals for some Chardonnay? Check. Raging cases of Pinot envy? Check.
So if you’re a wine connoisseur, winophile, or just a wino, you may want to stockpile some supplies, while the gettin’s good.
The future is not looking very rosé. [Snork!]