Friday, April 9, 2010

Networking

It’s so sad that it’s gotten to the point that when I get up in the morning, I judge how good my day is going to be by what’s on TV that night.  So I take the network scheduling very seriously.

Last week there was a blurb in the paper running down the expectations for the next season.  I was going to post on it then, but got sidetracked by all the prank stories. 

For each network, the blurb spelled out the forecast for each network’s shows.

ABC
Renewed: Modern Family, Cougar Town, The Middle

Likely to Live: The Bachelor, Brothers & Sisters, Castle, Dancing With The Stars, Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice

On the Bubble: Better Off Ted, The Deep End, Flash Forward, The Forgotten, Scrubs, V

Canceled: Ugly Betty

Bluz’ Views:  Modern Family and Cougar Town are 2 of the funniest shows on right now.  I usually get 2 or 3 belly laughs out of each.  The writing is especially crisp on Modern Family.  I’m surprised Cougar Town caught on… it’s pretty quirky.  Of course it does have the lovely Courteney Cox Arquette.

I don’t watch any of the Likely to Live shows, although I’ve watched Dancing With the Stars before this season.  I think it’s always on opposite something else I watch, but I’m generally in favor of lots of hot dancer chicks in tight, revealing outfits.

The Bubble shows hurt… I love Flash Forward and V, the former because it’s a fascinating idea to examine what would happen if everyone suddenly became aware of some of what awaits them in the future.  The latter, I enjoy because there are sneaky alien monsters playing opposite Elizabeth Mitchell, formerly “Juliet” on Lost, who is just yummy. 

I was devastated when her character died in last season’s finale of Lost, but it’s not like you couldn’t see it coming.  Characters named “Juliet” do not get to live happily ever after.  

I just read today that V and Flash Forward were both sinking in the ratings; so unfortunately I think this bubble has burst.  Networks don’t keep expensive hour-long dramas on the schedule if they aren’t earning.

CBS
Renewed: How I Met Your Mother, The Good Wife, NCIS: Los Angeles, The Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men, Undercover Boss, The Amazing Race, Survivor.

Likely to Live: Criminal Minds, CSI, The Mentalist.

On the Bubble: Accidentally On Purpose, Cold Case, Ghost Whisperer, Medium, Old Christine, Numb3rs.

Cancelled: Three Rivers

Bluz’ Views: Amazing Race and Survivor are shoe-ins and I’m glad.  I rarely miss either.  And Survivor looks amazing in Hi Def.  I’m also glad The Good Wife is renewed.  Julianna Margulies is also yummy and the show is engaging.

I’ve liked her ever since she was on ER.
Two and a Half Men may be on, or may not, depending on Charlie Sheen’s contract negotiations.  Personally, I think his current 800K per show ought to be enough to keep him in hookers and blow, but who am I to say enough is enough?  Love the show though, juvenile as it is, but I usually watch it in syndication, so I don’t give a rip if it’s picked up again.

Of the Likely to Live shows, I watch The Mentalist.  I like the lead character for the same reasons I like Hannibal Lechter… he just seems so much more observant and intuitive than everyone else.  And the Mentalist only chews scenery, not livers with fava beans.

On the Bubble shows… I sincerely hope Ghost Whisperer comes back but the network may not have enough room to accommodate Jennifer Love Hewitt AND her enormous batwing eyelashes.

On the bright side, if the show is cancelled, David Conrad may be home in Pittsburgh more often, so he can bum rides off of Ginny Montanez, nee PittGirl.

I always mean to watch Cold Case, because the star, Kathryn Morris, is also devastatingly yummy.  But it’s on after football on Sunday nights and gets bounced around a lot, so I’m usually watching something else.  I hope she lands in another show.

I only saw Three Rivers once… The show was OK, but considering it was about a hospital set in Pittsburgh, I was dismayed that not a single person had a yinzer* accent.  What’s up with that?  You set a show in Boston, people sound like the Kennedys.  Set a show in New York, they all sound like DeNiro.  But set a show (or a movie… I’m looking at YOU, “Striking Distance” and “Sudden Death”) in Pittsburgh there’s nary a gumband** in sight.  So good riddance to the pretend Pittsburgh show.

NBC
Renewed: Parks and Recreation, Friday Night Lights, Law & Order, 30 Rock, Community, The Office.

Likely to Live: Biggest Loser, Law & Order SVU.

On the Bubble: Celebrity Apprentice, Chuck, Heroes, Trauma.

Bluz’ Views: Thank God 30 Rock is coming back.  It’s been the smartest, snappiest, hippest sitcom on TV for the last 3 years.  And Tina Fey, whose writing and creativity I so much admire, is also yummy.

It’s also a good thing that at least one Law & Order is coming back, or my dad won’t know what to do with himself during evenings when there are no sports on.

The Bubble items are killing me.  OK, I can live without The Donald and his dimwit celebrity apprentices.  But the others… say it ain’t so. 

Chuck?  Love it.  Funny, good action, hot chicks and endearing characters.

Heroes?  It’s fading but still engaging.

Trauma?  It was the heir to ER’s action, but with more helicopters and a much nicer looking backdrop.  (San Francisco, which looks great behind all the aerial helicopter shots.)

Mercy?  I love this show, the heir to ER’s emotional wallop.  Plus it features an actress named Taylor Schilling:

I’m starting to wonder if one can O.D. on yumminess. 

Fox
Renewed: Glee, Fringe, Bones, American Dad, The Cleveland Show, (no, Dad, it’s not about the Browns), Family Guy, The Simpsons.

Likely to Live: American Idol, House

On the Bubble: Brothers, Human Target, Lie to Me, Til Death

Canceled: Dollhouse, Past Life, and 24.  Wait, what??  24????

Bluz' Views: Sure, just take away my reason for getting out of bed on Monday mornings.  At least they’re going to make a 24 movie, tentatively titled “2 and a Half,” I believe.  OK, maybe not, but what else are the going to call it?  Something lame like “24-The Movie”?

I also wish Dollhouse could have stuck around, but that cancellation came months ago. 

It’s funny how most of the shows renewed on Fox feature cartoon characters.  Much like their “news” department.  Whooooo!

But who are they kidding about American Idol not being safe?  Like they’re going to get rid of that cash cow…  Unless Simon stabs the other judges in the head and napalms the set, it’ll be fine. 

Not that I care… If I want to listen to bad singing, I’ll turn down the stereo in my car.

Lingo Notes for non-Pittsburghers:
* Yinzer is another term for Pittsburger, because they use the word “yinz” or “yunz” (technically “you’uns”) the same way southerners use the word, “y’all.”
** “Gumband” is Pittsburghese for “rubber band”.  Really.  Yinz can look it up

24 comments:

  1. I am just feeling sad about Scrubs! Even though I have not watched it this season (heard it sucked cause it is actually a spin off this year) I love that show sooooo much, I watch the reruns on comedy central all the time. And I love Zach Braff. I can add him to my list of unconventional love interests...along with FreeCreditReport.com guy and the Old Spice centaur!

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  2. I don't think I've ever seen Scrubs. I always heard it was good, but I think it was always up against something else I regularly watch.

    It's funny... I actually have to try to limit how many shows I put in my "regular viewing" stable. Cuz I hate it when I miss an episode, especially with the dramas. I hate when I get hooked on a show and then the move the timeslot to that of another favorite.

    Then add things like hockey games to that, and I end up with too many shows to even sort out with the DVR.

    Like last Thursday... Survivor is opposite Flash Forward, with the Penguins on at the same time. I can watch one thing and record another, but that leaves one out. So I recorded Flash Forward, watched the game, and checked Survivor during commercials and period breaks. Plus, I know I can get Survivor online if need be.

    You know, maybe it's not just my friend Jenn (from the earlier "Pranks for the Memories" post) that has the OCD.

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  3. May Law & Order live forever.

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  4. Ker-chunk!

    (My rendition of the L&O sound effect.)

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  5. Jennifer Love Hewitt is just out of this world. I don't love the show, but she is MUST SEE TV!

    I'm not a "30 Rock" fan. I like Tina Fey, but not Alec Baldwin.

    "Dollhouse" was cool, especially the star. She was very happenin'!

    And "24"??? Say it aint so!!

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  6. I'm not crazy about Baldwin either, but he kills in that role.

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  7. i'm not a huge tv guy anymore but i watch rules of engagement, 2.5 men, the middle, modern family, true blood and entourage. typically americna idol but it sucks this year.

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  8. Well sugar, I can't be much of a commenter on this particular post unless I just bullshit my ass off...

    Which we BOTH totally know I could do!

    Okay, no I don't watch TV. I hate the son of a bitch. Its on all mother fucking day. ALL the GODDAMN time!!!!

    The only thing I watch is Sons of Anarchy on FX. I'd fucking shoot myself if it was ever canceled... I couldn't live without Jax and his Harley!

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  9. So I love Jerry Orbach almost as much as Mr. Spock. I think we're going steady. (Now my age really shows).
    Nobody EVER does Pgh. accents, idiom or jargon. A mystery since the dialect is so noticeable and distinktive.
    One guide for those who like sammiches: An Italian mom sounds like this, "Yunz wanna sang-WEE-EEEDGE?" Accent and rising inflection on the second syllable. Sometimes only your doggie hears this.

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  10. Fan:
    I've gone through phases when I've hardly watched any TV, but this is not one of them. Last time was when I first got a computer and discovered chat rooms. I totally jones on it, but like all things, it ran its course.

    CB:
    I appreciate your checking in and letting me know you're there! Have never seen "Anarchy", just the commercials when I'm watching "Rescue Me."

    Mary Ann:
    I can hear that, and I never pass up an opportunity for a sangweech. As you know, I went to the Dagwood Bumstead School of Sangweech-Making.

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  11. I have to admit that I love House. He is such a quirky character but endearing in a bedeviling sort of way. When you mentioned Pittsburgh, I wanted to tell you that my husband and I rented "Kill Point"---streaming through Netflix. It was a series done with 8 episodes here in Pittsburgh. The story was riveting and we watched the entire series (five hours worth) the other night. Pittsburgh looked great!

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  12. Cher:
    I would probably like "House" but I think it's another one that's on opposite another viewing regular.

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  13. Sigh - Monday's are our big TV night- Antiques Road Show, Chuck (awesome!), 24, The Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men...so much to watch...so few DVRS!

    I'm glad they are keeping Bones...I love me some David Boreanz (actually, I love his dad...)...but that's pretty much the only other Network show we watch...we live on the History Channel, Bravo, The Travel Channel, TLC and the Food Network...hmmm

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  14. With all the stations I get with digital cable, it's funny how I still stick mostly to the major (and minor) networks. And HBO, of course...

    I'm like the guy that goes to Baskin Robbin's 31 flavors and gets Butter Pecan every time.

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  15. Yes dear, I'm sorry! I'm here!

    I'd NEVER leave! I fucking LOVE your blog! I've been sooooo fucking busy! I'm adding a bunch of coooooool ass shit to my blog! You'll see soon enough.

    I think you'll like one thing in particular! :)

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  16. You KNOW I wouldn't miss it, CB!

    Why do I have a feeling I'd better break out the asbestos gloves before touching the keys that brings up your site?

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  17. Thanks for checking out my blog! "Hi" to you too. Can I just say that the most depressing cancellation in my TV world was "The Tudors?" English Renaissance intrigue at its finest. I was really hoping they'd continue the show with Henry's daughters, but apparently, no dice.

    Tear.

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  18. Hi Faux Trixie,
    Welcome!

    Perhaps they can do a show about the Tudor's neighbors, called "Tudors Down."

    Yes, I know... bad pun. I do that sometimes.

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  19. I'M SO FRIGGIN PISSED. THEY KILLED OF RENEE?!? WTF?!

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  20. Cassie,
    I'm sitting here so hurt and upset... I loved Agent Freckles. And I was so happy that Jack was finally getting a little happiness, for a change. (Several times, from the looks of it)

    I so much wanted to see them end the show together and ride off into the movie.

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  21. You know what's random about your response, they kind of are making a spinoff about the Tudors' neighbors, if those neighbors the Renaissance aristocrats from Spain called the Borgias.

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  22. Trixie:
    Whoooooo! (putting out a shingle to open a fortune-telling business…)

    Step right up and let bluz tell you what’s on the next TV season… Without consulting Entertainment Weekly!

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  23. Me, too. As you'll see in my other comment, I'm PISSED AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT. I mean, seriously. It's the final season. Why Fox? Why? Because they're a bunch of republican bullies.

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  24. I agree. Why should I be surprised that Fox fucked us again?

    Oh wait... I forgot... modern conservative doctrine states that if a man and woman are not married and they touch private parts, the woman obviously has to be punished. With a gunfire.

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