Sunday, January 31, 2010

Things To Do When You're Sick

I’m still feeling pretty awful today… this is a bad one, as far as my colds go.  And I’m way early… I usually get sick once a year, around October.

 Anyway, Pinky has been working all weekend, which leaves me rambling around here by myself.  This is a good thing, because I get pretty grumpy. 

So what does one do when one doesn’t feel like doing anything? 

Here is my list:

1)      Go through all the DVDs you haven’t put away because you haven’t watched all the special features, and watch the special features.
2)      Practice saying “Luke… I am your father,”

and “We got it together, didn’t we babeh?

3)      Figure out what to make to eat that requires the least possible effort.
4)      Shred all your old bill statements that have been collecting since 2003.
5)      See how many layers of clothes you can put on and still be cold.
6)      See how many giant hacks of phlegm you can get in the toilet before becoming grossed out enough to flush.
7)      Count how many distinct parts of your body hurt.
8)      Practice your “Calling in Sick to Work” voice.
9)      Wave your hands in front of your face and look for the vapor trail.
10)  Imitate the alien sounds from the Tom Cruise version of War of the Worlds.
Then watch the Pens game at 12:30.  Whoo Hoo!  And repeat the list.

16 comments:

  1. January is OVER! "Always look on the bright side of life...de dew dewdewdewdewdew..."
    Phlegm can't last forever. You will feel better soon. That's ORDERS!

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  2. i'm not sick, but i loaded up 68 discs to secondspin.com today and got $145 dollars. Maybe I should make a third backup of my music?

    I still have every CD that was worth less than $1. I refused to trade them in for .10 and .25. Most of mine were $3, $2 and some $1s with very few $4 and $5's sprinkled in. Has to be very popular and still selling to get $5. I once got $8 for Floyd's Delicate Sound of Thunder. These are boxes 4 and 5 for me. I'm almost 100% digital.

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  3. Fan:
    I've ripped the music from most of my CDs... I could probably do the same. But I just can't part with the physical entity. Kinda like having the master tapes...

    Although I have gotten rid of quite a number of discs I knew I'd never play again.

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  4. How can you be this funny when you are so sick? You do some great schtick when you're sick. I think you should try the comedy club when you're feeling better.

    Cher's cure for a bad cold:
    cup of hot tea

    one or two, okay maybe three, shots of bourbon

    paper towels to sop up the tea that spills out

    add: lemon juice, tablespoon of honey and stir with a cinnamon stick.

    Nighty night! Hope you feel better soon, bluz.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Cher:
    They say all great comedy comes from pain, right? I'm there, baby!

    I'll have to try your cold remedy... sounds promising. I better send Pinky out for some Jack.

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  6. I'm right there with you, on the sick express.

    There was a freaking ice storm here, so I spent my birthday with some whiskey, and then a tree fell on my house, completely closing me in.

    I immediately got cabin fever.

    The end. :)

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  7. A tree fell on your house? Wow, like in "Poltergeist?" It didn't try to eat you, did it?

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  8. Just like Poltergeist. Then, after the tree took a bite of me, it immediately got the drunks and fell over.

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  9. Too bad the little person that "cleaned the house just died last month."

    Just watch out for the clowns. They're sneaky bastards.

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  10. Or not take a shower, or not shave for days and then see which family member says something first. And it's not usually my wife! I'm not sure what that says. She's a nurse. So her level of tolerance is pretty high. My daughter on the other hand....hmm...

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  11. hope you are feeling better today Tony and went to work. Great hockey game last night, too bad Versus and Directv are still feuding, couldn't see it. Readingabout Sid's performance.

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  12. Did you see your shadow? Hope you're up and out of the hole, reday for six more weeks of winter. Great tea recipes. Better than Herb.
    You Littles really did enunciate your HAIR lyrics, with feeling too! 'Peder-assss-ty...'. You loved belting that one out.

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  13. If Pennywise pops up in the shower, I'm gonna cut his ass with a rusty razor I keep, just in case.

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  14. Good idea, Sal.

    (and as a note to any this may help, "Hey, don't scare Sally in the shower, if you know what's good for you.")

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  15. Wow. when I was sick last week, I didn't even have energy to make a list. Good on ya.

    I did not see 'obsess over Lost' on this list.

    and #6 is just wrong.

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  16. I never said I DID anything on the list... lol...

    I wrote this 3 days before Lost premiered, so I didn't have anything to obsess about yet. But I see by your post that you did enough for the both of us.

    Question at large, Did I not suffer enough watching Juliet die the first time?? Why put me through it again? Bastards. But as I think I told you once before, I knew that she was doomed from the get-go. No one named Juliet lives happily ever after.

    Lastly, Re: #6. You're absolutely right. I should have said, Try to hit the first one with the second."

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