The Felonious Guy

I presume you heard the good news last week about a certain trial in New York? A jury found TFG guilty on all 34 counts and there was a great rejoicing in the streets! (And like the title says, “TFG” now stands for “The Felonious Guy.”)

I remain surprised that there wasn’t one MAGA intent on jamming up the works, and maybe there was, but the strength of the prosecution’s case could have made an impact. It’s one thing to hear a biased interpretation of the evidence on Fox “News,” but quite another to see the evidence presented with context, in court.

So it’s a good first step to accountability. I still don’t think he’s ever really going to get there. I’m positive he never sees the inside of a jail cell. Just the sheer logistics of his situation as an ex-president makes it likely they’ll seek other accommodations.

I said as much in a post last year, that the courts should get creative in finding suitable ways to punish such a suit.

For example, maybe they can ban him from using a golf cart, or only allow him a one-iron and a wedge in his golf bags. And he has to hit from the “lady’s tee.”

They could replace all his gold fixtures with aluminum or tin.

Or they can remove all the ketchup from his house detention and only serve chuck steak, cooked rare.

They can put every TV channel on MSNBC and take away his cell phone.

Or even better, tune the channel to some network that won’t mention him at all, like BBC or something. Maybe Al Jazeera.

OR, eliminate all the news stations and limit his viewing BET.

No spray tanning, makeup, or hair products.

They can limit his visitors to Don Jr. only.

If they actually want him to grow and learn while away, they could limit his TV watching to Sesame Street, in hopes he might pick up a more grown-up vocabulary.

They should eliminate all newspapers and magazines, but fill every room with books. Big ones, with no pictures.

Or if they really want to screw with him, they can take the last 15 minutes of the season finale of Celebrity Apprentice was pre-empted for Obama’s announcement that we killed Bin Laden, and run it on a loop.

Naturally, the GOP establishment is howling it up big time, because they have to. They are obligated to show fealty toward TFG no matter what happens if they want to stay right with their base. And I think their hearts are really in it because they’re terrified that someone might start looking at THEIR OWN campaign finances. If I was the prosecutor hearing all these jagoffs crying about it being unfair to pick on TFG, I’d be like, “OK pal, let's keep it fair and look at some more Congresspeople.” I’d also want a look at the books from a bunch of the rich mega-donors too, because that’s where the real power is. Start looking at the politicians and then follow the money to see from whence it came.

This is likely to be the only trial for TFG. The Republicans have already bent the system to their will to prevent the other three trials from coming to pass any time soon (or ever). As is their custom, they know they can’t win on facts or evidence, so they have to work the system to evade justice. Hence, we have one Trumpist judge who will slow-walk the secret documents case until it collapses, the DA in Georgia under personal legal attack, so to hamper her ability to prosecute the case, and the Federalist Society SCOTUS Six ready to rule that the president had broad immunity, shielding him from prosecution of leading an insurrection against the government.

I can’t believe anyone is taking the idea seriously that Alito or Thomas might recuse themselves from making decisions regarding the January 6^th Insurrection. They know it looks bad but at this point in time, they no longer care how things look, including Justice Roberts. They know it’s time to do what they were installed to do, which is protect the Republican Gravy Train of tax cuts and deregulation. They will never step aside voluntarily. I’m sure they’ve noticed that Jeff Sessions still can’t get service at the country club after recusing himself from the Justice Dept. investigation of TFG’s Russia ties.

TFG has also taken time out of his busy schedule of crying about the indignity of having to actually attend his own trial and abide by the outcome, to criticize the Republican candidate for Maryland’s senate seat.

As I’ve written before, Maryland’s Senate seat is critical if the Democrats hope to keep the Senate. Hogan was a popular Republican governor of a blue state and he got that way by not being a Trumper or religious fanatic. So he’s got some heavy math to do here.

If he falls in with TFG, he loses in Maryland, because we don’t play that shit here. There aren’t enough MAGAs alone to put him over the top.

But, if he loses the MAGAs, he needs that many more suburban dads to cross party lines and vote for him. Given the commercials I’ve already seen, he’s trying to pick up crossover Dems. His ads are all about supporting reproductive freedom and not voting lockstep with Republicans.

I hope his opponent (Angela Alsobrooks) starts running spots soon about how it doesn’t much matter how he’ll vote on single issues, but that he’ll count among the Republicans to decide who controls the Senate. And THAT determines a great deal about where we go next. He may not be a wingnut, but he’s still a shill for big business, just like any other Republican. And he can be pressured to vote with the majority just like any other Senator, by waving choice committee assignments in his face or adding dollars to his home state’s budget allotment.

So I’m thrilled to see the RNC hanging him out to dry. Sure, the spokesperson is literally a Trump, but the more they put doubts about him in MAGA minds, the more that may stay home on Election Day, or at least skip on the Senate race.

Director’s DVD Commentary: It took me a bit to figure out how I wanted to play with the new “TFG.” At first, I was thinking, “The Former Felonious Guy,” (TFFG) or the other way ‘round, (The Felonious Former Guy) but settled on just switching out one F-word for the other. I hate when acronyms get too long.