My sister sent me one of those Facebook lists where you’re supposed to answer a bunch of questions about the first time you did various things. I like doing these, so I completed it, but instead of putting it up on Facebook, I decided I could get a cheap post out of it.
Note: I’m writing this on Saturday, but am aiming to post it on Monday.
1. Who was your FIRST prom date? First and only prom date was Julie, who was a sophomore in my Newspaper class when I was a senior. I couldn’t scare up anyone from my own class.
2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love? Not since a high school reunion, 11 years ago. Restraining order…
3. What was your 1st alcoholic drink? Wine at family dinners, beer with Dad after yard work.
4. What was your FIRST job? Stock clerk/bag boy at Sautter’s grocery store, Whitehouse OH. And I tell you; plastic bags have destroyed the art of bagging groceries.
5. What was your FIRST car? 1976 Honda Civic, 5-speed, baby-shit brown. We later had it painted red, to match my mom’s huge Oldsmobile. I could have parked mine on the hood.
2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love? Not since a high school reunion, 11 years ago. Restraining order…
3. What was your 1st alcoholic drink? Wine at family dinners, beer with Dad after yard work.
4. What was your FIRST job? Stock clerk/bag boy at Sautter’s grocery store, Whitehouse OH. And I tell you; plastic bags have destroyed the art of bagging groceries.
5. What was your FIRST car? 1976 Honda Civic, 5-speed, baby-shit brown. We later had it painted red, to match my mom’s huge Oldsmobile. I could have parked mine on the hood.
6. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning? Sidney Crosby and the rest of the Penguins. I know that’s sad but there’s a game tonight and Sid the Kid is due to bust out.
7. Who was the FIRST person to email you today? MoveOn.org, emailing me troubles facing the next Supreme Court nominee. Like I didn’t have enough on my plate today, worrying about the Penguins game tonight.
8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher? Sister Mary Isaac, one of the Church’s most trusted henchmen.
9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane? See #18. I didn’t think that was my first plane trip but I can’t remember any specifically before that.
10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk? Anthony Darkowski from a couple doors down when we lived in Pittsburgh. We didn’t really keep up after we moved because, well, I was 6 and not allowed to use the phone.
11. Where was your FIRST sleep over? Just down the street with our friends Tim and Steve McNally, usually while all of our parents were downstairs getting liquored up.
12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today? I was about to say “no one” but then Pinky called.
13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time? I was ring bearer for my Aunt and Uncle and I was damned cute doing it. Hit all my marks, too.
14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning? Peed, put in my contact lenses and a load of wash. Or maybe I put in a load of contact lenses and peed in the wash. I was pretty wobbly.
15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to? Toledo Speedway Jam, 1979: Blue Oyster Cult, The Outlaws, Molly Hatchet, Eddie Money. Miserable experience.
16. FIRST tattoo? None yet. But I plan on getting one in a special place. It will say “Miss” most of the time. Then when things get exciting, it will say “Mississippi Agricultural and Mechanical – Hattiesburg Campus.” (Sorry, that’s an old joke.)
17. First piercing? Stepping on a nail in 3 rd grade.
18. First foreign country you've been to? France and England, on a spring break trip in 8 th grade with my school. (I had a crush on my homeroom teacher, who taught French and was leading the trip. When she asked if anyone wanted to go to Paris and London with her, I put my hand up. I’d have gone to Zimbabwe with her.)
19. FIRST movie you remember seeing? Some fairytale movie at a drive-in, with people running around in big animal costumes. I know there was a wolf involved so it may have included the Three Pigs. First grown-up movie that I remember was when my Grandpa took us to see a John Wayne movie, “Big Jake”. I remember being horrified at all the people getting killed when they hadn’t even done anything wrong. The Duke fixed’em though.
20. When was your FIRST detention? Never had one. But I got a whack once for goofing off. (Back when teachers kept paddles on their desks and administered whacks to troublemakers and malcontents.)
21. What was the first state you lived in?
22. Who was your FIRST roommate? Not counting my brother during our childhood years, my girlfriend Ellen and our mutual friend Kim, the year after I graduated college. We had a nasty little Three’s Company setup there except I didn’t have to pretend to be gay. (Note to self: the year in that place is a post topic by itself.)
23. FIRST kiss? One of the neighborhood girls, Tricia or Janelle, playing spin-the-bottle in our blanket-fort beside the house. I don’t remember which one was first.
24. What was the FIRST professional sports event you went to? Chicago Cubs game at Wrigley Field when I was in 3 rd grade. I’d never seen so much green in my life. It started a life-long love for going to ballgames.
25. When did you get your FIRST computer? 1999 and there wasn’t a day that went by when I didn’t feel like it was preposterous that I owned one. (Item #3 on this post.) Now I couldn’t imagine life without one.
33 comments:
#1. I have family in Hattiesburg. I'm not bragging, it's just not exactly a place that comes up in random things like this from someone on the other side of the country.
#2. Did YOU get the restraining order or did she?
Woman,
No significance to using Hattiesburg... I was just looking at the map for a city in Mississippi that had a long name.
No restraining order... was just kidding. But it would have been me. I broke up with her. (because I was an idiot) A year later, she still thought I was taking her to the prom though. I guess I should have been more specific in the note.
#4. That's why I love Trader Joe's. They use paper bags, or you can buy your own, which I have, that are recycled plastic bottles, but still in the same shape as the paper bags. Love it. It's an art form, for sure.
#14. Bad visual.
#16. Even worse visual. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to know where that one'd go.
#20. Did yo hear that they want to bring paddling back into schools? If someone EVER laid a hand on my kid, they'd be getting their ass paddled. Then I'd go to jail, because the paddling would probably kill them.
(Oh, and Matt's at the game right now. Don't you just HATE him?)
Note?!? Really?
4. I was a bagging maniac... part boy, part octopus.
14. Rough night.
16. Oh, come on... that was funny.
20. I can't see them bring back the paddle. Not with kids packing firearms any more... Our male teachers used to revel in the paddling. Most had them specially designed and decorated... used to display the paddles on their desks.
The game: I don't hate him... I feel bad for him. He probably took a lot of shit tonight, although it was probably in French so it didn't really sink in.
Cassie - bring paddling back? You mean they took it AWAY in some places? Not down here...
Bluz - I figured it was a joke :)
Woman,
Unfortunately that one was completely true. Jr. High, Columbus OH. They gave whacks.
#19 John Wayne rocks. The Sons of Katie Elder, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, "PETERSON!!!"
Sorry, trying to get the "ole" chant out of my mind.
#16 If you ever really want one, I know a guy....(But he won't put it THERE)(I don't think)
I wasn't being facetious. I'm totally serious. They still paddle here, at least in the principal's office. They did in Louisiana too. I didn't realize it was mainstream to NOT have a paddle...
*the restraining order - I knew that was a joke. Well... I hoped!
DG,
If I ever got a tattoo, it would be a Pens or Steelers logo.
Woman,
I believe you. That's Texas...
Yep. The deep south hasn't changed much with the political correctness of much of the country. I'm not sure if you could call the PC progress or not. Here, though, we don't care. (said in my most non-authentic texan accent) "Yea. I took out mah paddle. He needed beatin'"
They also have a joke about "He needed killin'" being an acceptable defense for murder.
I've heard of that defense. It's sad how often that applies.
As if there's some other kind. As I said, I know a guy. He's been looking for a canvas for a Lambert portrait, and since I won't let him tattoo my entire back....
DG,
I'd be afraid to get a face done... especially THAT face... I wouldn't trust what it would look like years down the road.
I'd just get a simple logo, maybe the size of a half dollar.
This is quite possibly one of the funniest things you've ever written.
And DAMN RIGHT about plastic sacks destroying the fine art that was grocery bagging.
Matt didn't get too much shit. He got stuff thrown at him and he thought it was great. He said he's never had a more fun time than that game. He was actually relieved they lost, otherwise he was afraid he wouldn't make it back to the hotel. He said they were the most passionate fans he's ever seen.
Oh, and Woman, yes, there was never paddling allowed in either state I lived in. One of the manay reasons I would never fit in down south...
#15--I am wondering what happened at that epic musical event to have made you think of it as miserable. Blue Oyster Cult?Bragging rights, Bluz! Oh, and sorry for the incomplete spelling. I don't know how to add an umlaut.
Friggin' hilarious! Love it. :)
God, I can't remember half of those first things in my distant past. When did I turn into Betty Freakin' White?
Oh, shit!
I too, have a restraining order from my first boyfriend!!! What a coincidence!!!!!
HaHa!!!
To all:
I'm sorry it's taken me so long to answer your comments. I can't access blogspot comments or profiles from work and I went to an Orioles game afterwards. Better late than never, eh? Now on to business...
Bachelor Girl,
THIS is the funniest thing? Wow… Then how sad is it that it’s all true stuff? (Well, except the restraining order)
But thank you, that makes my day.
Cassie,
I was so bummed about the game, I had to watch (what turned out to be a particularly gruesome episode of) “24” on the DVR, just to cheer up.
Matt took it better than I would. Getting stuff thrown at me totally ticks me off. Once that happens, the filter pretty much disappears.
I’m sorry, Sugar, I should have elaborated.
It was miserable because it was freakin’ August, with thousands of drunks jammed together on a sizzling auto racetrack. My buddy Billy suggested we sleep there the night before (3 of us in his crappy Vega). The parking lot was filled with loud, drunk, fighting teenagers, and one chick who kept screaming “Rock and Rolllllll” all night long. So none of us got any sleep. Plus we never accounted for the fact that all the beer we brought would get warm by the next day, thus becoming completely useless to us.
I returned home exhausted, sunburned, sweaty, thirsty and hung over. We stopped at a 7-11 on the way home and I bought a grape soda, and that became probably the most satisfying beverage I’ve ever consumed. Then I went home and took an actual bath.
The other problem was that at the time, I was kind of a musical neophyte. This was my first concert, after all. And at the time, the only act I knew was Eddie Money. OK, I was vaguely aware of BOC, but that was it. I thought Molly Hatchet might have been a girl. So there was all that suffering in return for very little musical return.
In years later, I’ve went to see all those acts separately, except The Outlaws. (I never had the opportunity.) I saw Eddie Money open for Cyndi Lauper, and another time with Warren Zevon opening for him. Saw BOC and their big Godzilla monster headline with Dokken and Aldo Nova (who killed!). And I was stage-front for Blackfoot opening for Molly Hatchet.
So as I look at it now, it was a killer lineup that I would see in a heartbeat. But then, it was just miserable.
(For more music biz exploits, see my series of posts in March, entitled “Brushes” (With the Greats and Near Greats...))
Cristy,
Thanks! Not bad for a “toss-off”. But I never fill these things out straight…
Bagger,
You become Betty White in another 40-50 years when you haul your wrinkled old ass onto SNL. (and kill!)
I was going to say, you could just make sht up (which I would never do, mind you) but then I had a thought, as my mind tends to wander when afflicted with “thoughts”.
Someone (like you or me) should do a duel-post like this with 2 sets of answers… one that reflects what you wish had happened, and one that reflects the terrible truth.
In fact, I wish I would have thought of that before I wrote this one.
CB,
Why does that not surprise me? I can just see you stalking his ass through the grocery store...
I think music festivals are just....bad. gross. dirty. My guitar player asked me if i wanted to go see Phish this past summer. And i had to decline. The thought of the potent mix of B.O., patchouli and weed was enough to make me puke in preparation.
I saw all the bands you mentioned, except BOC(sadness) and Blackfoot. I remember Aldo Nova killing, too! How funny. I will go back and look at your March blogs. Being a musician, I love to read about people's musical experiences.
Sugar,
Thanks for coming back and checking!
I should point out that “Brushes” series focuses more on meeting the acts than the concerts (although they are frequently mentioned). I’ve been meaning to do a whole series on actual concert experiences… I just have to go through my old notes. (yes, I AM that lame that I used to chart all the songs during the show and make notes on what was going on.)
I love that, you music geek.
That was totally me... I always brought a little notebook with me to take notes at shows.
Also, I had a tradition that on the way to the show, I'd stop off and buy a lighter to use for encores. Then after the show, I'd put a label on it to indicate the date and group, and put it in a little display case, never to be used again.
I still have them, too.
I really need to clean some stuff out, I guess... But it was a good cheap souvenir during a time when I didn't have much available cash.
For a while I had a collection of parking lot, bootleg band t-shirts, but nothing as methodical as your collection. Truly, that is adorable.
The way all the firsts in this are capitalized really freaks me out. I have to say FIRST! in my head really loud every time I see it, and it's making this painful.
Still, I wish the restraining order bit was true!
Sugar,
I don’t think I ever saw bootleg shirts for sale, or I’d have been all over them. The “official” shirts were always so expensive. I still have all of mine though… even though I don’t have a prayer of fitting into them again. Just can’t bear to part with them… Icons of a well-spent youth!
Mundane,
Sorry about that, but that’s how I received the list. You didn’t think I’d go through and change them all by hand, do you?
OK, I could have done a find/replace in Word, but I didn’t think of it…
But I must say, it’s odd that a capitalized word freaks you out, but not bacon-wrapped kittens…
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