Earlier in September I wrote about the crap-TV shows I can’t stop watching, the 90-Day Fiancé franchise. I mentioned how I chafe at the storylines involving American women marrying Arab/Muslim/African men who expect obedience, subservience, and second-class citizenship. Describing the storyline that’s just developing this season, I wrote:
“There is a couple
this season, where the 40ish American woman is going to Jordan to marry her
22–year–old beau on the very day she arrives because his religion won’t permit
them to be alone together in a room. This story is just getting underway and
she has no idea what he will expect of her. This is basically a “boy” who
told the cameras he wants her to always obey his wishes and not question
him as the man of the house. And he needs her to cover up with loose clothing
I think she ought
to spank his 22-year-old ass and send him to his room without dinner. These
stories always seem to end up the same way, with the American women taking a
powder either before or shortly after the wedding.”
Well, they did, indeed, get married the day she arrived
and as expected, she’s chafing at the new rules about which she’s just now finding
out.
To me, it’s beyond comprehension that someone intending
to marry into this (or any) foreign culture didn’t take five minutes or so to
Google what it’s like for a woman to live in Jordan (or wherever.) The guy
always seems to hold back on the details of his expectations until after it’s
too late. In last night’s show, the woman reacted harshly after finding out the rules her boy-husband gave her did not apply to him.
She was upset because
·
She was told she couldn’t hug or shake her
long-time (male) friend’s hand, yet he shook her hairdresser’s hand immediately
after.
·
He criticized her outfit as being too revealing
(there was the faintest hint of cleavage) while his shirt was unbuttoned to his
midsection.
·
He wouldn’t listen to her concerns.
·
He occupied their room getting himself dressed, (meaning
she couldn’t because he had his friends there), and was then furious because he
had to wait for her to change.
·
He insisted she be covered to his approved level
wherever she went, whether in Jordan or back in the US. But he can wear
whatever he wants.
He was upset because:
·
Her clothes were too revealing, and when they did
conceal what he wanted, they were too tight.
·
She insisted on sitting up front in the car with
him, while his brother had to sit in the back.
·
She questioned him about his “rules,” rather
than happily accepting them.
·
She was not swayed by his and his brother’s
default explanations, “But I’m the man.”
Meanwhile, I’m left yelling at the television, saying, “Honey, what the hell do you expect? How did
you not check this out beforehand? How it is possible that no one you know told
you this might happen?”
I mean, for Pete’s sake, take some initiative and
responsibility.
At least, I take some comfort in knowing this is one set
of people and there were probably side issues regarding the creation of TV
episodes, with which I’m not familiar. You can’t take everything at face value
with these shows. They want you to
get all worked up about it.
But it got me thinking about how this dynamic is exactly
what our modern conservatives are trying to recreate in this country. Every new
law or movement that restricts the rights of women, no matter how small or
isolated in scope, is a chip away from the fading standard of gender equality.
It’s a bedrock principle of the Heritage Foundation and Federalist Society
types. They want women out of the workplace and back in the kitchen with babies
on each hip, leaving men to remain free to make all the important decisions, so
they don’t have to worry their pretty little heads.
I recall our Democratic presidential nominee once asking
a prospective Supreme Court Justice/Bro, “Can
you name any laws that place restrictions on what a man can do with his own
body?”
The Republican gambit is that if you control the health
care, you control the women. Hence Sen. Vance (SS/OH) is resurfacing this old tactic:
This is why you can’t believe them when they say, “But we’re not after birth control.” Yes, they are. Just watch their actions. Plus, one of the SCOTUS Bros has already
made it clear they want to go after Griswald.
Constrict health care.
Limit birth control.
Ban abortions.
Limit post-natal aid, child care, SNAP.
Attack women’s very right to vote.
Attack breast-feeding in public.
How long before they try to repeal the laws that gave
women the right to hold property, get loans, or credit cards? How long before
they start selling petticoats and bloomers at Forever 21?
These things add up to putting women under duress, in a
state where all they can do is fight to survive, unless, of course, they can
find a man to take care of them.
And there it is… The Incel’s wet dream… to rescue a woman
who must then submit to his control.
This is where the GOP is taking us… to a place not so far
from Jordan, Saudi Arabia, or Iran, as far as how they treat their female
citizens. Well, maybe not citizens…
more like pleasant-smelling property.
The Republicans are playing the long game. They started
immediately after the Roe decision and never let up until it was reversed. It
took over 50 years but they kept at it, collecting enough state legislatures,
governorships, and occasional presidencies until they had a willing Supreme
Court. They created “news” outlets to radiate their toxic point of view, be it
with misdirection, propaganda, or outright lies.
And because they’re playing a long game, they’re counting
on young people growing up with abortion restrictions being seen as
commonplace, while those who remember winning reproductive freedoms are dying
off. Eventually, the whole struggle will be limited to history books, and we
know what they do with those when they include history the Right doesn’t care
to remember.
And here we are. They’re not done and neither should we be done resisting, for as long as it takes. The very fate of our mothers, sisters, and daughters is riding on it.
