The Fluffer Brief

Last week the nation was introduced to the enigma that is Natalie Harp, the president’s new most trusted aide. She eased into our consciousness a month or two ago, when people wanted to know who the hot blonde was that was tagging along with the president. Some speculated that she was his new wet nurse, there to take his vital signs and change his dirty diapers. It stayed that way until the news blew up regarding her exact duties, which, rather than handling “duty,” she’s been handling the president’s ego. Dubbed the “Human Printer,” she provides her boss with hand-picked selections of good news and positive reviews (from MAGA sites) and any other slice of curated information he may require. In this situation, I don’t even think it’s about sex, just ego-stoking. It’s an old man enjoying the attention of a pretty girl.

The book, “Regime Change,” by Maggie Haberman and Jonathan Swan, illuminated just how devoted she is, describing personal letters she wrote and left for the president, stoking his confidence and declaring unwavering devotion. She’s basically a presidential fluffer.

Sen. Jon Ossoff, again, got his name in the news with a jibe that mentioned Natalie, which met with a tidal wave of organized indignation from the Administration’s talking heads and MAGA toadies, in a volume and level of vitriol that far outweighed the original slight. In other words, it struck a nerve in the Oval Office.

The funny thing is how they weren’t mad at the shots taken at his incompetence as a military leader, his chronic sleepiness, his golfing, insider trading, or taking a bribe-plane from Qatar. No, all the faux-outrage was focused on the “riding with Natalie” part. Maybe it really IS about sex after all. He’s mentioned many times how he doesn’t want to be “Cartered” by a military mishap. I’m sure he doesn’t want to be “Clintoned” either.

Now, is there anything wrong with a president having devoted staff? Nope, assuming they’re qualified and security-cleared. This president has been surrounded by nothing but sycophants for his entire career. He never seems to run out of them.

And yes, it’s alarming that someone who appears rational on the outside is so slavish in her attachment to such an utter imbecile, who has neither attractiveness nor cleverness, nor consideration, nor inquisitiveness to warrant such affection. A lot of people flock to power; this seems a bit overboard. Who else in Washington would fling themselves into the rear storage compartment of the president’s SUV rather than leave his side for a moment to take a trailing car? That is some seriously weird shit.

While everyone was discussing this story last week, there was one angle I haven’t seen covered, which may explain her MAGA-ier-than-usual Trumpmania.

What if she’s a Russian plant? Consider these possibilities:

·         It sounds completely within the realm of something an old KGB man like Putin would do. Russians know the long game. They have the patience to wait until their asset becomes sufficiently entrenched to receive the payoff.

·         Even if they didn’t develop her from scratch, they could have approached her when she worked at OAN, home of the Super-MAGA talking heads. Hell, for this opportunity, they may not have even needed to pay her off; just provide the inroad. She may have already lacked the dignity necessary for such an assignment.

·         They know he has a “type,” which she fits to a tee. They also know exactly how the president operates, thriving on praise and adulation; the more cloying, the better. They could have coached her up on what he likes, on what he needs from his inner circle. The more fanatical the attention, the more he eats it up.

·         Even with the president under Vlad’s control, they still could have needed an ear on the inside because this president may not always remember to report everything back to his handlers. That’s the problem with employing a “useful idiot.” No matter how useful he may be, he’s still an idiot. They may have needed a secondary source.

Now, I’m not saying this is all true. I don’t have any inside information, so this is pure speculation. But it’s plausible, no? Sadly, this is what we’ve come to in this country, where a president being on the take with the Russians is easily within the realm of possibility. “The Manchurian Candidate” seemed far-fetched at the time. Now it sounds like another Monday.

I guess I’d better be careful though. This could be a Pelican Brief situation, so maybe I should start looking over my shoulder and start checking under the car before I go out. Good thing our house is only one floor. At worst, any fall from one of our windows would result in grass stains rather than broken bones. Unless, of course, they got broken beforehand…

  

 

Director’s DVD Commentary: In case you never read John Grisham’s The Pelican Brief, or saw the movie, it’s about a young law student who writes a speculative “what if?” brief about land use crossing with ecological concerns, which ended up with a couple of Supreme Court justices murdered and assassins looking for the student. The movie stars Julia Roberts and Denzel Washington.