Monday, February 2, 2015

The SBXLIX Experience

So there was this big football game yesterday, right?  You might have heard something about it.  You might have even gone to a party held in its honor.

Me?  I just sat home, made myself an early dinner, and watched the Penguins game followed by the Super Bowl.  The Pens got their asses kicked again, and I have nothing to say about that. 

But other game… the one with the noteworthy commercials?  I was taking notes on that game, the ads and the spectacle all night long.  In fact, I was taking them directly to Twitter.  So let’s see what I said…  I’ll be damned if I can remember… it was a long, arduous day of TV watching.

It started with Idina Menzel singing the National Anthem.

One of the downfalls of Twitter is that often times, everyone gets the same idea at the same time.  Then when you read the timeline, it looks like everyone is copying off the first one.  I saw a form of this tweet all over the place, but let me assure you, I thought of it on my own.  The same goes for all the rest of the tweets.  It just looks like I’m copying, because I don’t type very fast on my little external iPad keyboard.

But I didn’t see anyone else come up with this angle…

The first commercial that got me excited wasn’t even one of the high-budget, clever ones; it was just the trailer to the new Jurassic Park.

I’ll totally be seeing that on opening weekend.

The Turbo Tax “teaparty” ad was a nice try, but kind of strained, I thought.

Really, I try to keep politics out of sports tweeting, but sometimes they just tee one up.

Judging by my last post, you’d think I’d avoid adding “gate” to scandals, but I couldn’t help myself when the Seahawks ran into the punter’s “plant” leg, which should have been a 15 yard penalty instead of 5.
I know the announcers try to be relevant and hip to the times, but seriously, Al Michaels?

“Humongous” hasn’t been in current usage since the 80s.

A lot of people were talking about having already watched most of the Super Bowl commercials in the preceding week.  Not me.

That’s like reading a spoiler article before going out to see the movie.  I’d rather be surprised.  One year during Super Bowl week, I watched one of those “All Time Best Super Bowl Commercials” shows, not knowing they were going to run the best of the new spots.  Totally ruined the viewing experience for me.

As for the game, I was pulling for the Seahawks.  Seattle is far enough away that they don’t really enter my consciousness, other when they’re acting like punks or crybabies.  And all their 12th Man bullshit?  Where were all those 12th men in Detroit for Super Bowl XL?  Disguised as Steeler fans?  Their presence there was statistically negligible.

So they’re not my favorites, but I really don’t like those cheating Patriots.  And last week, I told you why.  So I was rooting for the Hawks.

The T-Mobile/Kim Kardashian spot was an interesting idea, but I just couldn’t really process it.  Whenever I see her, all I can think is, “Is that really all one person?”

It’s like one day in 1995, she saw Jennifer Lopez’s butt and took it as a challenge.

Then there was the one everyone knew was coming… another Clydesdale and puppy spot from Budweiser.

Sure, it’s over-the-top sappy, but geez; giant horses rescue lost puppy from the big bad wolf?  Score one for Bud.

I also really liked the Coke commercial, where some geek spills his Coke into a bank of servers, and suddenly all the mean people on the internet turn over a new leaf.


I know I wasn’t the only one to bring this up, but it still occurred to me independently.

So there we were, sailing along, game things happening, snacks being eaten, parties going full steam, and then the Nationwide ad hit.

A dead kid in a Super Bowl spot?  Are they fucking kidding?  Boy, did they ever pick the wrong time to go all “serious.”

As they showed a montage of the various celebrities throughout the crowd, (meaning in the club section,) they lingered on Sir Paul McCartney.

Every so often, a political tweet would roll by my feed.  Sometimes I couldn’t help but retweet and add my two cents to the end.

The one where the shiny, happy McDonalds personnel spread “Big Mac for the Soul,” messages through free high-fat lunches, pissed me off.

Then, right before halftime, the NFL itself tried to throw a blanket over the festivities, with their highly-touted domestic violence PSA.

I’ll say this; it was an effective spot.  I just thought it killed the mood of the event (for the 2nd time of the day), and maybe it should be reserved for something less festive.  Like a Downton Abbey marathon.

But then, when you think about how Super Bowl Sunday is supposed to be the day with the highest incidence of domestic violence, maybe they were onto something.  So I guess I should just keep my big yap shut.

At least with Seattle losing, the worst they’ll do is write something mean on someone’s Frappuccino cup.

On to halftime…

When I was at SBLX in Detroit, they had the Rolling Stones stage set up and torn down so fast you barely registered the change.  You just went, “Shit, how did THAT get there?”

Still wish they’d hire an act who plays “Football Music,” (coughAC/DCcough), rather than a bunch of teenybopper bubblegum artists.  But I’ll give Katy Perry this… she knows how to make an entrance.


I wish I’d thought of this, but I didn’t, so I retweeted.

That one made me laugh out loud.


Yes, I wasn’t the only one who recognized Katy’s means of airborne transportation. But I didn’t know that at the time.

Another retweet and tack-on…

I swear, the guy couldn’t come out in favor of cheeseburgers without the Republicans claiming he hates hot dogs.  And freedom.

I think the writers of Liam Neeson’s commercial missed the key phrase.

Maybe they were just trying to be less obvious.  But for me, I don’t know the movie that well; I needed reassurance that I was getting the proper reference.  Or maybe it was just the beer.  It was getting late…

The entire game seemed to come down to the last couple of minutes, when the Patriots scored a touchdown to take a 4-point lead.  The Seahawks had 2 minutes to go and immediately received a nomination for Catch of the Year.

Then on second down at the 1 yard line, Seattle opted not to give the ball to their beast of a running back, Marshon Lynch.  Russell Wilson threw a pass up the middle, which was picked off by New England, to win the game right there.

The more I thought about it, the madder I got.


That’s a little Steelers smack talk circa 2005.

So, there you have it… the Super Bowl 49 Experience, as seen by my tweets.  See, if you would have been following me, (@DarwinfishBluz), you’d have seen all this brilliance yesterday, and you could have skipped this whole post!  Look at how much time you would have saved.

“Darwinfish2: making you more efficient since 2009.”

5 comments:

  1. Although I'll never be efficient despite DARWINFISH2, I do appreciate John Kenneth Galbraith's quote.
    And I will think of Nationwide next time Peyton sings his little songs. Their commercial provides the opposite of comic relief. On such a Sunday, seriousness IS a relief.

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    1. I had been waiting to use that quote but I could never seem to find the right time to drop it in. (Or I forgot about it when I had the chance.) So I opted to put it on the sidebar.

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  2. Enjoyed following the game with you on SB Sunday. I saw a ton of tweets about that sad Nationwide commercial. I was talking w/the hubs about it the other day because I honestly think the premise was slightly off. The big line at the end was about how "accidents" are a big cause of deaths in children. T pointed out that it was meant to be directed at neglectful behavior, but the way I took it was more, "An accident could happen anytime, no matter how good a parent you are, so better get insured." Yikes. I'd be a worry-wort of a parent anyway, but that type of stat would just make me feel guilty about all the stuff I couldn't control. Blech.

    I thought Katy Perry did okay. I don't quite get why you (or others) got on her case about lip syncing--I'd think for that big of a LIVE televised event (no screw-ups allowed), it'd just be smart to have the track going. I mean, what the heck would they do if she was singing & her mic quit working? No time to do anything else. I had a problem w/people getting onto Beyonce for the inauguration ceremony a while back, too. Too big of a deal to just rely on live stuff working right. But that's just me.

    We were rooting for Seattle, too. I was so ready for Brady to suck it after that amazing catch, and then, bam. *sigh* Ah, well. Maybe the 'Boys will make it further next year. LOL.

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    1. I get on people who lip sync because I still have the old fashioned belief that if you can't sing, then don't go on tour, just stay home and make records.

      I wouldn't attend a show, no matter how big, if I knew the artist was lip syncing, and this is just one big show. The Stones didn't lip sync. Springsteen and Tom Petty didn't lip sync. If you're a singer, sing your songs, or else stop wasting everyone's time, who could just play the record.

      The deeper problem is that people with marginal talent are becoming pop stars, on account of their look. So when it's time to play live, the talent gap shows.

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  3. This is hysterical, Tony. Although, I don't think Katy was lip-syncing. I think she was singing to a pre-recorded track. I loved the 1/2-time show. And I, too, waited for the game to start to pee.
    That last play by Seattle will go down in NFL history as the biggest WTF ever.

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