Hey Mitch! What Day Is It?

It might have been better if I’d have written this last week, (as far as timeliness goes), but I heard over the weekend that various Republicans are pushing the idea that they are now being “humiliated” by the Democrats, over the Obamacare/Debt Ceiling/Government Shutdown mess.

Honest to God; I heard John McCain say so himself on the Sunday morning talking head shows.  I just had to laugh.  Aww, the poor fellas… getting picked on just because they took an ICBM to a procedural debate.

I’m picturing Harry Reid coming up behind Mitch McConnell in the Senate chambers and imitating that camel’s voice from the Geico commercial…

“It’s day 18 of the Shutdown and everyone thinks it’s Your Fault!  Ha Ha HAH!”

Is it me, or does Harry Reid (left) look like a somewhat less constipated version of Mitch McConnell?

I can’t believe that this crap is still going on.  I’m seeing now that the (non-whack-a-loon) Republicans seem to have given up on back-dooring the ACA, and are trying to extract some kind of concession on entitlement reform and debt reduction.

That they’re still trying to bargain tells me that they still don’t fully understand the situation into which they’ve gotten themselves.  They essentially have nothing to offer other than not tanking the foreign and domestic economies.  They now expect the Democrats to give them something just so they can “save face.”

I hope the President and Senate Democrats don’t yield a stinking inch, because even if the terms have changed, it’s still extortion.  “Give us what we want or we’ll blow this whole thing up!”  It’s what terrorists do, when they can’t convince anyone of their position through rational discussion.

And what do we never do with terrorists?  Negotiate, because if we make their actions profitable in any way, they will only terrorize again.  The GOP staked out this radical-right position, so in my book, they have to take the consequences.

Granted, the House GOP is in far better position than their counterparts in the Senate.  Senators have to win the entire state, where Representatives are likely to benefit from a district that’s been tightly gerrymandered to their own political direction.  The only way to dislodge these Representatives is for the Democrats to start winning more governorships, so that in 2020, they can redraw the districts to their own benefit. 

I fully admit that it’s easy for me to take a hard line on the government shutdown, because thus far, I haven’t been touched by it.  I still get up, go to work and get paid, come home, play on the internet and watch TV.  So far, the shutdown has taken no skin off MY ass.

You know, I bet if they found a way to include network and cable TV in the government shutdown, you’d see some real political action.  Once people don’t have anything better to do, you’ll see a lot better attendance at the rallies.

But I hope that come the 2014 elections, everyone remembers what really happened over the last few weeks.  We have to remember this stuff clearly, for when these GOP clowns start blaming all the pain and loss from this shutdown, on the Democrats.  They count on the fact that we have the collective memory of a goldfish.  ("Hey!  A castle!  And there’s another one!")

They’re going to have to go to those local Seniors Centers and explain, “I know we caused the economy to bottom out and gut your 401k funds, but we only did it because we don’t want anyone to get a better deal on health insurance.”

I have a feeling that position is going to be less popular than when they took Matlock off the air.

Daily Life Through Graphs

I apologize for not having any fresh stories or insights for you this weekend.  It's been busy, and now I need to go get cleaned up for my trip to the sports bar, to watch the Steelers game.  So in the meantime, let me go pull something out of my "archive" of future blog material.

These are from an email I got once, so obviously, this is not original material.  But funny...

Poets For Change

As you’ve probably gathered over the years, I, like a lot of people, harbor some activist inclinations.  Now, I’m not one to go out and protest, at least not unless there’s a tailgating opportunity.  What I do is formulate an argument (or rebuttal to another argument), write it up and post it here.  On occasion, I’ll write in to the local paper.

I come by this inclination honestly, having learned from my parents, my mom in particular.  While she’s also written tons of Letters to the Editor over the years, she doesn’t write a blog.  She makes poems instead.

Recently, poets in Pensacola took part in the “100 Thousand Poets for Change” event.  No, “Poets for Change” is not a panhandling scheme, although I bet it would be more effective than the usual “hard luck” story.  It’s a nationwide series of readings where local poets gather to read their work and inspire positive change.  (At least 50 cents worth.)

Mom took to the mic and read her poem, “Gunsmoke.”  Given the Deep South locale, I imagine it was a pretty tough sell, but it seemed to go over well.  I’m guessing she had a wooden spoon in her back pocket.  No one crosses a lil Italian mother with a wooden spoon.

The best part of the event is that they filmed all the readers and posted the videos on YouTube, so that people like me, who live 5 states away, can see the readings.  And it gives me the opportunity to relay it for you, wherever you are.

So with that, may I present, MC Lil Mother!

I don’t know how she arranged for the bells to toll at the end.  Age and treachery, I suppose. 

To me, the only thing missing would be for her to drop the mic at the end, and shuffle off the stage.

Of Birds and The Burgh

In April, I wrote about getting boned on some Penguins tickets, when the Boston Marathon bombing upset the NHL schedule and the game I was to attend moved from Saturday to Tuesday.  I wasn't able to extend my stay in Pittsburgh, nor could I move the tickets, so it ended up a $300 shit sandwich.

This weekend, I got to see a little satisfaction, as Pinky and I hit The Burgh for a Pens game against Buffalo (who was the same opponent as in April).  This time, we stayed at the beautiful Omni William Penn.  The Penn is one of those glorious old hotels built in the 1920s, that just screams with the opulence of yesteryear.  After we checked in, we got a couple of beers and sat in the lobby for a while.

The ornately carved ceiling, as reflected by overhead mirror panes.

No, that’s not a single chandelier, that’s four of them in a row, running across the lobby.

The room wasn't as large as the one I had for Podcamp Pittsburgh 5, but it was adequate.  Let’s just say, it wasn't commensurate with the lobby.  Of course if it was, I’d have spent the night smacking my head into the chandelier. I’d probably end up ensnared in it, like a fly in a spider web.

I was keenly excited to visit Consol Energy Center for the first time.  The last Pens game I attended was at the old Mellon Arena, which at the time was the oldest rink in the league.  Sure, it had loads of character, but boy, was it ever cramped, dark and dingy inside.

The CEC is the polar opposite of the old barn.  The corridors are wide and brightly lit, with loads of room to navigate.  I fell in love immediately, but then, I've always been a pushover for effective foot traffic management.

I’d been worried that our seats at the very back of the lower bowl would provide a limited view.  In similar seats at the old place, we were located way back under the overhang of the deck above, effectively killing any view of the scoreboard or banners on the ceiling.

That was not an issue here.

Before this trip, Sitcom Kelly told me there wasn't a bad seat in the house, and now I know what she meant.  The sight-lines were terrific from everywhere.

The game was enjoyable enough.  The Pens won fairly easily, 4-1, in a game where I got to see my first penalty shot.

This was Pinky’s first hockey game ever, so I got to play the teacher and show her things that are hard to pick up on TV, like the constant ballet of players coming on and off the ice during the play, the sound of sticks on puck, and the way the boards shake when the players mash into them.  Geez, I love hockey!

Because we didn't have to worry about post-game traffic, we stayed to the very end, unlike about a third of the rest of the crowd.  I just wish I would have stayed to see the awarding of the “Three Stars,” so I could have seen Marc-Andre Fleury come out waving the Jolly Roger, in support of the Buccos.  I love it how the Pittsburgh teams support each other.

In fact, the loudest I heard the crowd all night was when they showed Pirates centerfielder Andrew McCutcheon on the scoreboard, who was attending along with some of his teammates.

Cutch, being interviewed by ROOT Sports’ Dan Potash.

On the way out, we passed by an amazingly lit fountain.  One of these will be “calendar material.”  I haven’t decided which one.

Anyway, we were back in the room for the start of the 2^nd half of the Ohio State/Northwestern game.  What can I say?  I support the Bucs AND the Bucks.

This was just a quick “in and out” weekend, so I didn't seek to meet up with any family or blog friends.  But before we bugged out, we HAD to take a stroll around the most photogenic city in the country.  When we left the Penn at 9:00, they had some roads blocked off for the Mario Lemieux 6.6 race.  I told Pinky that if we stood here long enough, we’d probably see Cassie run by.  (Luckily, I didn't test that hypothesis, because I’d have been there a long-ass time.  She didn't run in this one.)

I love walking around dahntahn, especially now that the fountain at Point State Park is functioning again. 

The fountain, toward The Confluence (where the Allegheny and Monongahela Rivers form the Ohio.

The Fountain, from The Confluence, back toward the city.  Looks kind of medieval, doesn't it?

Oh, Steelers… why couldn't you be worth a damn this season?

While we were down by the river(s), I noticed a commotion.

I had to leave after that.  I didn't want to infringe on their privacy.  But the whole “duck” thing quacks me up.  People were all over this thing.  It was challenging getting a picture without a dozen other people in frame.  But I think we need another artist to hang a giant inflatable “Ernie” from one of the bridges, to play with the giant ducky.  Maybe next time.

On the way back to the car, we saw this…

I tell you, you can see everything in Pittsburgh, from the ornate grandeur of old hotels, to the modernity of a shiny glass building, to the ridiculousness of a giant ducky floating on the river.

No wonder I love this city.

Weekend Road Trip

Guess where I was this weekend!  I'll give you a hint.

Pinky and I took a quick trip into The Burgh this weekend, to see a Penguins game.  We've been home for a couple of hours now, and I know I need to put up a post this weekend.  But after downloading and fiddling with a whole mountain of pictures, (I can't help it if Pittsburgh is so damned photogenic), all I want to do now is sit down, have a beer and watch the Pirates game.

I'll have the full rundown for you on Tuesday.  Lets Go Bucs!

Odd Bits - The Number One Son Edition

There are a couple of things I want to talk about today, but first, let me say thank you to everyone that bade me a happy birthday, through one social medium or another.  Monday was my 52^nd birthday.  It wasn't a milestone or anything, so festivities were low key.  (But not so low key that Pinky didn't make me a German Chocolate Cake!  Whoo Hoo!)

I talked to my mom, who always calls me at 1:30 PM on my birthday, because that was the time I arrived. 

By the way, don’t think I’m not relieved that I wasn't born at 1:30 AM!

[Brrrrrrring!  Brrrrrrrring!]  [Reaches for the phone, falls out of bed, gets tangled up in the covers] “Dammit Mom, can’t you just call me during the day??”

Anyway, she relayed something my Uncle Joe told her about my birthday.  He was at home with their mom when they received the news of my birth.  They realized I was my parents’ 1^st child and the 1^st grandchild, born on a Sunday, the 1^st day of the week on the 1^st day of the month, in 1961.  As Grandma said, “That’s a lotta ones.”

I realize now that I ought to consider “1” to be my lucky number, and maybe go so far as to get a “1” necklace or something.  But I’d rather not look like a giant douche canoe, walking around with #1 around my neck, like I was all that.  I’d feel more like a big pile of #2.

At work, this morning, my cubicle neighbor (as in “next door,” not “shaped like a cube”), who is about 10-12 years older than me, asked me how it felt to be 52.  I said, “I feel like the same dumbass I was last week.  When does all that ‘wisdom of the ages’ to come rushing in.”

She said, “When you get old, you get wisdom, but then you have to pray you don’t forget it!”

And that’s why I love coming into work every day.

The Shutdown Bluz

I haven’t said much about the previously expected and now come to pass government shutdown, mostly because it’s just so goddamned stupid.  The Tea Party kamikazes on the right are showing how little they care about much of anything, except hating the president and getting their own way.

For what might seem to be a complicated situation, it really isn't.

*Obama ran for president in 2008, campaigning on health care reform, and he won.

*Obama and the Democrat-controlled Senate took a Republican idea from the 90s and formulated it into the Affordable Care Act, and passed it in both houses.

*The GOP tried every measure available to repeal, override and defund the ACA, but were unable to do so.  They went to court to have it declared unconstitutional and lost.

*Obama ran for a second term, defending the ACA as successful health care reform, and won by an even larger margin.  Democrats in the Senate gained seats.  The House GOP held serve, thanks largely in part to extensive gerrymandering and voter suppression.

So now, with the ACA about to take effect, the GOP goes with the nuclear option and digs in their heels to shut down the government, by refusing to pass any kind of budget, provisional or otherwise, until they get their way.

The real laughable part is how they’re claiming the American people (for some reason) don’t want access to affordable health care, and that Obama and the Democrats won’t negotiate.  Are they kidding?  What’s to negotiate?  The American spoke loudly in 2008 and 2012, with full knowledge that health care reform was on the table.  That game is over.  They lost.

These Teabaggers are like a 5-year old who won’t eat his vegetables, lights the tablecloth on fire and then complains that his mommy won’t negotiate.  The only reasonable course of action is to put out the fire, wrestle the matches out of his hand and lock him in the fruit cellar until he can learn to cooperate.

Bedlam in Buc-ville and the Rule of Three

So how about those Pittsburgh Pirates?  Wow, that game on Tuesday night was unreal.  Playoff baseball came to Pittsburgh for the first time in 21 years, and the whole freakin’ city showed up.  And now that they've survived a single-game elimination, versus the Reds, it’s on to a five-game series against the St. Louis Cardinals.

It’s such a novelty to me to be able to follow the Pirates this late in the season.  I know I've written far more about the Orioles, but that’s the team to which I have the most access.  I never stopped considering the Pirates to be my #1 team.

I’m so happy reading tweets and updates and blog posts from people that have just been aching for a winner at PNC Park.  People were dying for a chance to become invested in Pirates baseball and it’s finally here.  If you saw the game, you heard it yourself as over 40,000 people shook the press box and shook up the Reds pitcher.

So it’s great watching the hubbub, albeit from a distance.  So far this is the best thing I've seen:

This is from St. Clair Hospital in Pittsburgh, and the same place that swaddled the newborns in Terrible Towels during the Steelers’ last Super Bowl run.  Obviously, with the Steelers’ 0-4 record so far this year, making the playoffs this year seems unlikely.

But it got me thinking about something and I've formed a hypothesis.  Ahem…

“Only two of Pittsburgh’s three professional teams can be good at any given time.”

In the 70s, the Steelers and Pirates were good, and the Penguins sucked.  In 80s, all three pretty much sucked.  Early 90s, the Pens and Pirates were good, but the Steelers sucked (at the end of the Chuck Noll era).  Then through the late 90s to early 2000s, the Pens and Steelers were good, but the Pirates sucked.  Same thing in the late 2000s up to last year.

So now it looks like the Steelers’ turn to suck.  The Pirates are in the playoffs, the Pens are still loaded with talent, and the Steelers have begun their season in woeful fashion.  (Barring a major turnaround, I project them to end up 4-12.)

So this year Pittsburgh has two out of three good teams, which as Meat Loaf would say, “Ain’t Bad.”

Luckily for me, the Ratbirds aren't looking so hot themselves, either, at 2-2.  You know, this might be the year I see if what I always say is true… that I would be OK with the Steelers ending up 2-12, providing the two wins were over the Ravens.

But OMG, I can’t believe what THAT might lead to… the AFC North Division Champion Cleveland Browns?

Nah… no sense in talking foolish…

Bluz Sings the Blues

My post from last weekend was taken from an email about how to sing and play the Blues.  That reminded me that I once wrote my own Blues song, so I thought I’d share.

The thing is, I don’t know how to write songs.  I have no musical ability at all.  But the thing with the Blues is, you don’t need any.  For the words, well, that last post told you all you need to know.  For the music?  It’s completely derivative.  There are only a couple of different riffs and tempos.  Just write about your pain, pick a tempo and go.

So, back in 2004, I was coming back from a very filling lunch.  I don’t remember where we went, but I remember feeling absolutely packed.  I complained to my cubicle neighbor, “Oh, man I got the full-belly blues…”

[Ding!]  Inspiration struck.  About ten minutes later, I had the following song.  Muddy Waters, eat your heart out!  (You know, if you weren't already dead.)

The Full Belly Blues, by Jackleg Cranberry Coolidge*

Da da N da dat…  (traditional slow blues riff, like the one Thorogood lifted for Bad to the Bone)

Just came back from lunch…     (Da da N da dat)

It was All You Can Eat…             (Da da N da dat)

And I ate it ALL…                        (Da da N da dat)

Now I’m stuck in my seat…    

Now I got da bluuuues…

The Fully Belly Blues…           

I’m stuffed to the shooooes…

Wit ‘dem Full Belly Blues.

Now I don’t wanna think…            (Da da N da dat)

I don’t wanna do crap…                (Da da N da dat)

I don’t wanna do nothing…           (Da da N da dat)

But go take a nap…

                       

I got me da Bluuuues…

Them big ol’ Full Belly Blues…

I’ll be payin’ my dues…

Wit ‘dose Full Belly Blues

My pants are too tight                    (Da da N da dat)

And my shirt, it don’t fit                  (Da da N da dat)

And dat ain’t gonna change,         (Da da N da dat)

Till I go take a… oooooooooooooh  

I just got dem Bluuuuues…

Those Full Belly Blues…

Just wanna lay down and snoooooze…

With those belly packin’…  (Pow!)

Lip smackin’…                     (Pow!)

Over snackin’…                   (Pow!)

Big Mac’in’…                       (Pow!)

Self control lackin’…           (Pow!)

Pepto Bismal Fast Act’in… (Pow!)

[urp!] somebody get me a na’kin…  (Pow! Pow!)

Gotta make a fast 5 o’clock getaway so I had to back-in…  (Pow! Pow! Pow!)

Full… Belly… Bloooooooooze….

(Big flourish….)  Now ‘scuse me, I don’t feel so good…

* In the comments of the last post, I claimed “Jackleg Cranberry Coolidge” as my official Bluesman name. And those "Pow"s are meant to be big single-chord strikes.

How to Sing the Blues

I came across an email I got years ago and it still makes me laugh.  I saved it for future use one day, when I was scratching the bottom of my Well of Ideas, without having the necessary drive to keep scratching.

My only regret is not being able to determine who originally wrote it.  My exhaustive Google search, over four whole pages, could not find any source information, although I learned I would not be the first blogger to repost it.

That said; please enjoy this tutorial on How to Sing the Blues!

1. Most Blues begin with: "Woke up this morning..."

2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues unless you stick something nasty in the next line like "I got a good woman with the meanest face in town."

3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes, sort of: "Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pound."

4. The Blues is not about choice. If you stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch. There ain't no way out.

5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or SUVs. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.

6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or anyplace in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still great places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues anyplace that don't get rain.

8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the Blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg 'cause you were skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg 'cause a alligator be chomping on it is.

9. You can't have no Blues in a office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go out to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

10. Good places for the Blues:
a. highway
b. jailhouse
c. empty bed
d. bottom of a whiskey glass

Bad places for the Blues:
a. Nordstrom's
b. gallery openings
c. Ivy League colleges
d. golf courses

11. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be an old ethnic person, and you slept in it.

12. Do you have the right to sing the Blues?

Yes, if:
a. you older than dirt
b. you blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis
d. you can't be satisfied

No, if:
a. you have all your teeth
b. you were once blind but now can see
c. the man in Memphis lived
d. you have a 401K or trust fund

13. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the Blues.

14. If you ask for water and your darlin' give you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a. cheap wine
b. whiskey or bourbon
c. muddy water
d. nasty black coffee

The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. Perrier
b. Chardonnay
c. Snapple
d. Slim Fast

15. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So are the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken-down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.

16. Some Blues names for women:
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie
d. Fat River Dumpling

17. Some Blues names for men:
a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie

18. Persons with names like Amber, Jennifer, Tiffany, Debbie, and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

19. Make your own Blues name Starter Kit:
a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, etc..)
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)
Examples: Blind Lime Jefferson, Jackleg Cranberry Coolidge

20. No matter how tragic your life, if you own a computer, you can’t sing the Blues.

Child Prodigy in the Making

Sorry for the late post… I went to the Orioles game tonight, Sitcom Kelly.  It was my 13^th and last one for the season, in which I set a personal record for Most Orioles Games Attended.  (I also went to 4 other non-Oriole games, in Pensacola, Toledo, Detroit and Pittsburgh, so it was a pretty full summer of sports for me.)

Anyway, before we went, we were exchanging emails during the day.  As you may recall, Sitcom Kelly provided foster care for a little girl about 2 years ago.  The girl is 5 now and is back with relatives, but Sitcom Kelly still gets regular visits, which pleases all involved.  I usually refer to the child as LLCJ, which stands for LL-Cute-J.  I've said it before, but when this little one looks at me with her almond eyes and sly smile, it makes me want to buy her a college education.

Since I haven’t published one of my goofy email threads in a while, and because I’m out of “good” ideas to write about at the moment, I figured I’d show this to you today.  We started off talking about the premier of Modern Family.

Sitcom Kelly: The part that cracked me up was when the baby threw up every time they mentioned gay marriage.

Bluzdude: (quoting a line from last night where the little girl, “Lily,” was answering the phone at Mitch’s office.) “Hello, Daddy’s office.  No, YOU sound like a little girl.” [Slam]

Which reminds me, LLCJ should totally be on TV.

SK: You're not kidding.  I've been looking at some of the local theatre's websites to see if they have 1-day Intro to Acting classes for kids her age.  When she was here this past weekend, we were playing "auditions".   She would come in and show "us" her dance moves - like she was trying out for a dance troupe or something. 

She sat on the steps and I would call her to invite her for the audition.  She would come and I would ask her name and what her talents were. 

"Besides dancing, do you sing or play any instruments?"  

I would pretend take notes.  When she was done I'd say "We'll call you when we make a decision".  She'd sit on the steps and wait for my call.  And I'd call and offer her the job.  She said "OK, I'll be there at 6:00."

Next time we'll have to play "rejection".   Got to get her prepared for some of that, although I can't imagine anyone would ever reject her... 

BD: OMG, that is hilarious.  You should try to teach her a short scene and see if she can “act.”  (Besides just being her adorable self.)

SK: And she has really good dance moves.  She’ll see something on TV and mimic everything the dancers do.  And she’ll remember it.

After her turn to be the dancer, it was my turn to audition.  I had to close the blinds before I started auditioning.  Didn't want anyone to see my dance moves.  I “made it” but later she told my mom I wasn't a very good dancer.

BD: Aww.  She didn't want to hurt your feelings, so you passed.  You should ask her to teach you.

SK: OMG!!  She’d be like one of those mean Russian dance instructors walking past me and poking me with a stick.

BD: You’re right.  Best not to upset the balance of power any more than it already is.

Good thing you shut the blinds before dancing.  The neighbors might have thought you had an itch you couldn't reach.

SK: Having seen my recycling every week, I’m sure they’d understand.

Hoping for Manny Happy Returns

There was bad news in the Baltimore sports world yesterday as Orioles 3^rd base phenom Manny Machado suffered a serious knee injury during an afternoon game.  Manny was running out a ground ball when he stepped on the edge of first base, twisted his knee and fell to the ground in a heap, clutching his knee.

I didn't know anything about it until I got an email from Sitcom Kelly last night, asking me if I’d seen it.  It didn't take me long to find something online, and I kinda wish I hadn't.  The article was preliminary, because they won’t know anything concrete until they can get an MRI, but I've seen enough torn ACLs and MCLs to know that this is a bad one.  The link above contains a video, if you’d like to see for yourself.  It’s not that it’s gruesome… I've seen worse, like years ago when Pirates catcher Jason Kendall broke his ankle on a similar play at first base.  But Manny’s knee got a pretty good twist.

I feel so bad for the kid… and he IS still a kid.  He just turned 21 this summer, in the midst of turning major league baseball on its ear.

Manny Machado  (Source)

I don’t think I've ever seen a player make so many head-turning plays in the field as Manny has.  I read that he’s had more plays on ESPN’s Web Gems highlights than anyone else, by far.  And this is Baltimore, home of Brooks Robinson, who may have been the best fielding 3^rd baseman of all time.  People here know from talent at the hot corner, and this guy is king right now.  (Just check YouTube for Machado highlights.)

Manny’s joining the team late last year was the single biggest component of turning the club into a winning team.  The Orioles now hold the best fielding percentage in the league and are on pace to crush the record for least amount of team errors.

It’s such a shame, not just because of on-field issues, but he’s a genuinely good kid!  His teammates love him, he studies hard, reveres his elders, keeps his mouth shut and does his job with grace and humility.

Obviously he’s done for this season.  I just hope he can come back before the end of next season. 

So between Manny’s injury and the horrific season my Steelers are having so far, (they’ll be lucky to go 4-12), it hasn't been a very rewarding Fall thus far.  But leave it to the Ratbirds to put a smile back on my face.

Did you hear about Raven’s wide receiver, Super Bowl star, and Dancing with the Stars 3^rd place winner Jacoby Jones?  Last night, he was with teammates on a “stripper bus” in Washington DC, celebrating lineman Bryant McKinnie’s birthday, a stripper named “Sweet Pea” clonked him on the head with a giant champagne bottle and ignited a brawl.

He was apparently bloodied up pretty well, but was none the worse for wear, and refused medical treatment.  When the police asked him how he got hurt, he said, “I don’t know.”

Hah!  As if you could possibly forget when a stripper hits you with a bottle of bubbly.

See the size of that bottle?  It looks like a prop from a liquor store window.  And that’s with a 6’8”, 350-pound guy holding it!

You can find more pictures of the people involved by clicking here, as well as some more salacious coverage.

But what I want to know is what did Jacoby do to earn Sweet Pea’s wrath?  Is there some kind of protocol for stripper buses?  Did he bogart the giant champagne bottle?  Not wipe off the top after he was done?  Backwash?  Or maybe he said she danced like a white girl.

Ray Lewis chipped in on ESPN, saying he thinks the incident is due to a void in leadership on the team.

Great, Ray.  Way to bring yourself into the story.  You leave the team and now there’s a leadership crisis.  I guess “leadership” is what Ray learned after his Super Bowl party guests killed a couple of guys.  That’s what you find in jail; either leadership or the Lord.

Late Update: Sweet Pea tweeted that she’s not a stripper; she’s a waitress.  They were all waitresses on that bus.  My take: Sweet Pea’s mom just found out what she does for a living.

Even Later Update: Manny is going to be OK.  The MRI revealed that he tore a small ligament behind his kneecap, and not the much more crucial ACL or MCL.  In all probability, he won't need surgery and will be ready for spring training next year.  My take: All that angst and hand-wringing for nothing.  But I'm thankful for the happy ending.