When They Show You Who They Are, Believe Them

Last week the Republican Senate put their American Values right out there for all to see, when passing the most recent coronavirus relief bill. This says it best:

Eventually, the Democrats were able to get some language added that would provide some accountability and guidance to the $500b corporate slush fund, so whoever received these funds had to be made public and there were restrictions in place to prevent companies from using it for bonuses, stock buy-backs and the like.

Then when the Current Occupant signed it, he issued a signing statement saying he was not going to enforce any of the slush fund restrictions.

You tell me, why is it so important for anonymous companies to receive billions of dollars without restriction or transparency? To be clear, this $500 billion is about half of the entire relief package. And it all goes to companies who can do whatever they want with it and we will never be the wiser.

And those are the same companies who took the giant corporate tax cut savings and used it to pad their bonuses and stock prices, without doing jack for its employees. In other words, they ate their two weeks’ worth of quarantine food on Monday and now they’re complaining about being hungry on Wednesday. Screw’em. They could have strengthened they’re company’s readiness in advance, like many of the big banks did.

After the 2008 recession, major banks were required to have x-amount of dollars tucked away in reserve, to handle future recessions without needing another bailout. Granted they were forced to do that, but it was the right thing to do. Other companies could have done the same, especially after the trough opened up last year with the tax cuts. But they went the route of executive enrichment and a better short-term P&L statement.

In a truly fiendish vein, some Republican politicians and Fox “News” hacks have been pushing the idea that we should let the old people die so to not sink the economy. It’s a good thing. Seriously.

This is where the Family Values people are? Bump off the grandparents so that the 1%ers still get their dividends? That’s so insane. But it shows us exactly what Republican “Family Values” are: To hell with YOUR family, I don’t want MINE to be inconvenienced. The only thing the ruling class Republicans value is the almighty dollar. Everything else (like social issues, racist immigration policy) is just a way to get enough people to vote for them so that they may continue to pursue unrestrained wealth.

I join with a chorus of others, who say, “If you want to sacrifice the old to spare the profits, YOU GO FIRST!

When cruising Facebook on Saturday, I saw someone post a meme about how Congress should forget about the giant anonymous slush fund for corporations and send the people their $1200. Which is fine, but later that same afternoon, I saw the same person post another meme telling people “Come November, remember that Virginia’s two senators voted against the coronavirus relief package.” Which they did because it had that giant, anonymous slush fund for corporations. Unbelievable.

I still see my conservative friends trying to defend the president’s actions regarding the virus. They can’t believe why the media would ask about the gargantuan fuckups from January onward, (“It’s a hoax, it’s not serious, the flu is worse, it’s China’s fault”), before the big U-Turn into “OK, maybe it’s serious.” Completely unnewsworthy. They’re probably just taking their cues from the White House where media criticism continues to flow forth unabated to anyone who dares suggest their hero might have done something an eensy bit better, to prevent the clusterfuck we are now entertaining.

As you can see, there are two opinions, the correct one and the appalling conservative one.

I feel bad for the poor governors he is now quarreling with because they were not grateful enough for his day-late-and-a-dollar-short pandemic response. Like a petulant child, he’s holding up supplies from Michigan, New York and California, who he thinks “hasn’t been nice to him,” and showering Florida with everything they need. Maybe they need to update the White House Application form I unveiled a couple weeks back.

People love to complain about all the non-pandemic-related items ended up in the relief bill, but it seems these people have never seen a bill become law before. You can go back across the last 50 years and find that there are extra items inserted into bills just about every goddamned time. For better or worse, that’s how the sausage gets made.

“You want this, you have to give me that.”

You want a $500 billion slush fund for your rich friends? We need movement on mail-in voting. Pelosi is no dummy. In order to allow the slush fund, she needed something that was just as painful for the Republicans to give up. Regardless that it is an antidote to the danger of massive crowds gathering on voting day, mail-in voting goes against every voter-suppression strategy they’ve rolled out since SCOTUS defanged the Voter’s Rights Act. Today, Trump said it himself on Fox and Friends, “They had levels of voting that if you ever agreed to it you’d never have a Republican elected in this country again.”

Our Republican president: Friend of Democracy*

*As long as it’s only well-to-do white people and racists voting.

And what is the Republican answer to so many Americans who don’t like their policies? Do they try to reach out to see what’s important to them? Do they propose things that make their lives better, that they could use to seek their vote? Of course not. They just try to keep them from voting.

What’s supposed to be the big deal is the $1200 checks. I just wonder what they’re going to do the next month after the money goes out. It’s not like $1200 is going to go very far. I figure that’s one rent or mortgage payment and some groceries, if that. (Which is heavily depending on where one lives). What about the next month?

I can just hear the Republican Senators bemoaning how the lazy people just squandered their first check so they can ask for more. Again, these guys are ghouls. Racist, country club, fucking ghouls.

At least King Dipshit backed off his Easter Return promises. Someone must have tied him down and forced him to listen to reason. (I’m sure it wasn’t Pence.) But isn’t it funny how he always has to be pushed into doing the obvious “right thing.”  And again, always too late to get the maximum benefit. He’s the poster boy for closing the barn door after the horses have run free.

This is just what happens when your first and strongest instinct is to promote, insulate, and enrich yourself at the cost of millions of others. Millions about whom you don’t give a flying fig.

Life During COVID

“This ain’t no party, this ain’t no disco, this ain’t no foolin’ around…” ~David Byrne~

As we begin our second real week of lockdown, there’s a lot going on.

Congress is working on a “bailout” bill but, of course, who gets bailed out and by how much is a matter of great debate. Both sides are pushing the happy talk of the $1200 checks that are supposed to come out to all eligible Americans. But naturally, the Republicans are pushing for a giant slush fund of taxpayer dough to be set aside for big business. The scary part is that they set up Steve Mnuchin to be the sole distributor of the funds, gave no conditions for which the money can be used, and also included language assuring non-disclosure for six months regarding who receives the funds.

So, all the Republican Party favorites would be sure to get their big fat slice of the pie, to use however they see fit, and no one would know until it was ancient history (AND the election is over). Judging by the previous bounty of tax dollars they received, we can assume that their non-executive employees will see zero benefits, but there will be stock buybacks and executive bonuses. You know, GOP BAU.

The Democratic senators found their backbones and voted the bill down, risking being blamed for holding up the checks. (Which started immediately, with Mitch McConnell accusing them of fiddling around while the country burns.) The balls on that guy…

This may be a way to reduce the payout to working class Americans. You watch, the GOP will exchange the slush fund for a reduction in direct payments to Americans. Then they can claim they tried to help and blame Democrats for the reduced sum. Their dogma just doesn’t allow for handing out money for nothing.

Answer: Just as many as those who took their stock dividends after the Obama Recovery.

Getting back to those checks… I hope there’s a way to use the ACH from past returns to allow for direct deposit. Otherwise, there’s going to be a whole cottage industry of dudes following the mailman around (at a distance) so they can steal the checks as soon as they hit the mailbox. It’s gonna happen. All they have to do is avoid houses with cars in the driveway.

In my case, I get an email every morning with a scan of what mail is coming my way. If I see anything “official-looking,” I’ll be out there in a Haz-Mat suit waiting to greet that mailman personally.

I saw that the Current Occupant* now thinks he’s a “Wartime President.” I swear the first time I saw him say that I thought, “Christ, he’s gonna cancel the elections.” Later I saw a few write-ups on how that’s not legally possible because his term will expire regardless of whether there’s a new guy lined up to take over. But that doesn’t mean he won’t try. After all, he’s got his lackeys on the SCOTUS who will do whatever he says. He’ll figure it’s at least worth a shot. You really can’t see him making the argument that his term should be extended because of a crisis, COVID-19 or whatever else he can drum up?

What they need to do is start working on getting the November elections ready to be 100% mail-in. Not that the Republicans will go along… the more election chaos, long lines, reporting problems, the better for them. Low turnout is the easiest way for them to win. You KNOW the rich districts will have enough voting machines.

I saw on our friend Infidel753’s blog that among the current drugs that are being tested for efficacy against the COVID, is the blood pressure medication, Losartan. It would be quite a stroke of good luck it that’s the one the turns out to be effective. I take that right now and it’s one of the cheapest drugs out there. My 90-day supply (at one pill a day) costs me around $5.00.

Now, the question is, by how much are they going to jack up the price if this comes to pass? And they don’t even have to raise it up to Insulin prices… they could just charge $10 and it would still be considered cheap and they double their profit margin. Of course, that would require a degree of restraint and you know how restrained Big Pharma is. The only thing longer than their history of price gouging is the length of the disclaimer on their TV ads.

I understand the 2020 Census is taking a hit from the virus. No home visits for the time being so they have to use other means. I hope they’re not waiting for help from this administration. Republicans will be thoroughly delighted by a massive undercount of citizens, especially non-homeowners. That’s their best-case scenario. They will not cooperate with any efforts to count up all the likely votes against them.

Here in Chateau Bluz, we’re under informal house quarantine. I’ve been working from home since 3/12 and Sweetpea’s school (where she teaches grade school) has been closed since 3/16. As much as it pains me to say, our Republican Governor, Larry Hogan has been doing a good job of handling the pandemic.

While he’s still a Republican and all about propping up business, he’s neither a religious zealot, gay basher, nor a Trump toady. He’s been taking this thing seriously since early in the year and is not pulling any punches, unlike another prominent Republican leader.

Today he just closed all non-essential businesses and while he’s not ordering an official state of quarantine, he’s recommending we act like there is one. I may criticize him on other things, but not on this. He’s doing a good job.

The big question is what they’re going to do about the schools. They started with a 2-week closure that is scheduled to end this Friday. While I think there’s a zero percent chance of school starting again on Monday, they haven’t announced anything further. I understand this is a tricky situation. If students can’t go back, what do you do with them? Pass them on after only a little over a half year’s instruction? Hold them back? Combination of the two? Start school early next year? And more importantly, do the teachers still get paid?

It’s funny what they characterize as “essential” services. For example, liquor stores are remaining open. Maybe that’s to allow room to close all the bars. Or maybe it’s because he realizes that people need to have something to do when they’re cooped up at home all week.

I’ve been trying to get myself out the door to go get a haircut for the last month but never broke the household inertia. Now it looks like Sweetpea is going to have to do the honors. I guess if you’re going to submit to an amateur haircut, doing it during a quarantine is the best possible option. There will be plenty of time for it to grow back before anyone else has to look at it.

While we’re not out there panic-buying, we have been going to the store regularly, just to pick up whatever is available. The grocery stores in our area have been carving out a special time for the elderly to shop, between 6:00 and 7:00 AM. The only problem is that the geezens are buying everything up.

Sweetpea went out this morning to find a whole lot of nothing. The cashier said they were trying to enforce quantity limits but the old people were pitching a fit about it while trying to buy 6 packages of hamburger meat.

I told her that next time I’ll go during the old folks’ hour and I’ll dress the part. I’ll mess up my hair, wear socks and sandals, hike up my pants, wear my eye-doctor sunglasses under my regular multi-focal lenses and throw a bag of Werther’s in the cart first thing. I’ll fit right in.

Yeah, but no LGBT, Jews, Muslims or atheists would be allowed to get the test.

Odd Bits - The Cursed Edition

I Swear

Last week there was a minor stir on the campaign trail when Joe Biden told a Michigan auto-worker he was full of shit (in response to having his gun rights position aggressively mischaracterized by the guy.) This immediately brought me back to 1972 and a similar dust-up in Michigan, only with George McGovern.

I was 11 and when I saw the clipping in the paper, I thought it was the funniest thing ever. In fact, I pressed it into a photo album I was making, which I still have and will lovingly display for you here today.

The salient part:

A youth told (McGovern), “He will beat you so bad that you’ll wish you never left South Dakota.”

McGovern said, “I’ve got a secret for you.”

As the youth leaned forward, McGovern whispered in his ear, “Kiss my ass.”

The young man recoiled and said, “He said a profanity!”

Oh, such innocent times.

I hope this the only facet that will be shared by Biden and McGovern. Must be something about Michigan that makes a guy want to swear. (And as a former Ohioan, I have some pretty good ideas about what it could be.)

Republicans can’t make much hay out of this, not with the way their golden boy swears in public. Either way, this is the kind of thing to which I don’t pay any serious mind. It just amuses me. All I care about is what someone is going to do once they’re in office.

Truth Serum

One thing the coronavirus is doing is exposing where politicians’ priorities lie. For the Republicans, it brings their “Big Business” tendencies right to the front. Doesn’t it seem that every remedy the GOP supports is for the top end? And every solution for us working people, they oppose?

Like the payroll tax, for example. Sure, everyone would like a little extra cash in their pocket, but how does this solve the pandemic problem? That “little extra cash” is not going to pay for testing or treatment (IF you can even find testing). And people who are thrown out of work or have their hours slashed are not going to benefit from it at all.

BUT, weakening Social Security IS one of the long-range plans from the GOP, so they can commence with privatizing it and opening the money spigot to Wall Street.

Yes, it’s Still Racism

Did you notice how the conservatives are calling it the China coronavirus? Rahm Emmanuel may have said they should “You never let a serious crisis go to waste*,” but the Republican line might be, “Never pass up a chance to hang a racist smear on the enemy.”

They do this “China” thing the same way they always called him “Barack Hussein Obama.” And the rednecks always hit that “sein” part extra hard, so that you couldn’t miss that they were tagging the President as “Other,” as someone apart from themselves.

Which is right, I suppose. They were nowhere near as smart as he was.

*The oft-omitted rest of the quote: “And what I mean by that it's an opportunity to do things you think you could not do before.”

Poll Vaulting

While it’s nice that polling shows that Biden has a comfortable lead over Trump in a prospective matchup, please be aware that it doesn’t mean jack shit. Hillary had a big lead too, but the problem is that national polls are meaningless.

What are important are the state by state polls, because that’s how we elect presidents… state by state through the Electoral College. (Which the Republicans will NEVER give up because it’s their only means of winning the presidency, given demographic trends.)

So take national polls with a grain of salt. It’s nice to hear good things, but the devil is in the details. It’s more important for Biden to be ahead in Pennsylvania, Michigan, Ohio, Florida, or any of the other states that Hillary was supposed to win but didn’t.

Pork Barrel Politics

The spread of the GOP Coronavirus reminds me of all the possible-pandemics that came before, Avian Flu, H1N1, Ebola, SARS, and the lot. Back when we were all worried about the swine flu I found solace in this cute little graphic.

I think it’s getting to the point where hand sanitizer and masks aren’t enough. We have to go full-on Naked Gun.

Debunkery

Speaking of cheap graphics, let’s look at some misguided Facebook memes, shall we?

Oh, how things have changed in just 6 and a half short years. This, from a guy who won’t take responsibility for anything that doesn’t end up in ticker-tape parade in his honor.

Are you fucking kidding me? His whole presidency has been for sale to the highest bidder. He never detached from his hotel business, he just pushed it to his sons for safekeeping until he returns. His administration has been a hallmark of self-enrichment, from foreign governments buying up entire hotel floors (without using them) to repeatedly bringing his whole staff and security entourage to his own golf resorts, spending more time golfing than any president in history, and billing the taxpayers for the whole thing. His daughter is cleaning up on recently granted Chinese trademarks. He pushes tax laws that directly benefit his hotel business.

Hell, Trump can be “bought” just by telling him how great he is. The creator of this meme is so removed from reality he probably thinks Trump’s hair looks good too.

Also, are we still pretending that the “Deep State” is a thing? The “Deep State” is a fever dream whipped up by conservative conspiracy theorists as an excuse/scapegoat for whatever they don’t like. Every administration is made up of staffers who agree and don’t agree with the president. Slapping a name on one set does not make it a thing.

With problems like these, it’s not even worth bringing up spelling mistakes.

So, we’re saying that the taxpayers all have to agree with whatever the government spends money on? Great. Now they’ll never spend another dime because someone will always disagree. Or is it that only their side has to agree?

Look, the government spends billions on things most citizens wouldn’t agree to. For example, I don’t agree to spend money on energy company subsidies, Big Pharma subsidies, or abstinence classes. Why is eliminating student debt such a special area?

My theory is that this meme is designed to provide cover. If they just said, “We shouldn’t eliminate student debt because I’m not getting any of benefit,” it would just sound greedy and selfish from a party that claims to be the true moral center of the country.

Mr. President? Mr. Norris on the Phone and He Sounds Pissed

Radio: And now on with our Easy Eighties Pop Favorites…

Juice Newton: “Just call me Angel of the Morning, baby, just touch my cheek before you leave me…

[Major Cheech n Chong record scratch]

“Not on the face! Not on the face! I know you’re supposed to be an Angel-callin’, cheek-touchin’ leaver, but you’ll have to settle for being an Angel-calling NO-FACE-TOUCHING leaver… I don’t want the COVID!”

Radio: Next up, the Georgia Satellites!

Georgia Satellites: “Don’t hand me no lines and Keep Your Hands to Yourself!”

That’s better!

The quote from the Current Occupant is that he hasn’t touched his face in over two weeks, just because. And NOT because the COVID-19 is serious or anything.

I think that’s something he learned from his new Korean BFF. You know how Kim Jong Il used to promote how he made like 11 holes-in-one in a single round of golf, bowled a perfect “300” game, and Superman crap like that? Trump is just throwing out these ludicrous claims, letting Rush Limbaugh and Fox “News” pass them on, and BANG, he’s a legend. There’s nothing he doesn’t know or can’t do.

I don’t know what the offspring, Kim Jong Un claims to be able to do. From the looks of it, he can claim that every year he wins the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest in the afternoon and then each night goes out for pizza and beer.

Trump’s younger son, Twiddle-Dumber, just claimed 30,000 people heard his Pops speak at a recent rally… at a venue that held 8600. At this point, these people are so full of shit they might as well start repurposing Chuck Norris jokes.

“Donald Trump can get a woman pregnant by pointing a finger at her and saying “Covfefe!”

“Under Donald Trump's elaborate hairdo is another head of hair.”

“Donald Trump doesn’t read books. He stares at them until someone puts on Fox and Friends.”

“Donald Trump shot the sheriff on 5^th Avenue, but he had Michael Cohen threaten the deputy.”

“All those names that appear on the screen after an episode of The Apprentice are not credits, just a list of people who Donald Trump stiffed on the bill for their services.”

“Donald Trump used Monopoly money and a Get Out of Jail Free card to pay off his loans to Deutsche Bank.”

OK, that last one is over the top. Trump doesn’t pay loans back.

Over the last few days, we’ve been treated to more and more bizarre claims from Trump, like contradicting department heads by saying there will be a vaccine in a few months (as opposed to at least 18), that he didn’t want a cruise ship with 21 confirmed cases of the virus to dock because the numbers would (make him) look bad and that no one could have foreseen the spread of this virus (besides all the other countries who have been taking aggressive action for months.)

I made the point last week that it almost seems like he’s trying to spread the virus, as a means of voter suppression, consolidation of goods, and cheap real estate. I just can’t see anyone being so inept and ineffective without it being intentional.

It just seems so bass-ackward. Why exacerbate a health crisis when you’re trying to curtail access to medical coverage? Every time he claims that if it weren’t for Democrats, he’d roll out the best health care plan ever, remember that the Republicans have not put forth a single comprehensive health plan. Their only actions have been to eliminate the portions of the ACA that they can get away with until they can scrap the whole thing. They have nothing to replace it and they’ve had 10 years to come up with something.

It’s kind of like having the stock market crash at the same time you’re talking about cutting Social Security. Republicans have been trying to privatize Social Security for decades. It’s like they can’t stand it that there’s this huge chunk of cash out there that they can’t divert to their Wall Street friends. Privatizing Social Security puts that money into play but then it’s dependent on the whims of the stock market. Which is tanking.

Wouldn't you just love to run into one of those guys who, when arguing politics, just keeps saying, "But how's your 401k doing?" They seem to be hiding out now.

It’s funny that for all the effort to use lies and misdirection to prop up the stock market, it’s falling off the table like Bloomberg’s campaign after his first debate. It’s almost as if people suddenly realized that Trump is out of his depth because a virus doesn’t respond to blustering, manipulating data name-calling, and pointing fingers, it just keeps spreading. Just like TLC reality shows.

Or maybe we just know enough to listen to those who ARE experts in infectious diseases, rather than firing or gagging them.

Maybe if there were still some same voices in the room, our pandemic readiness might have been better. But Trump only hires sycophants and toadies now, who tell him nothing but that which he wants to hear.

Have you seen the new White House employment applications?

Interviews are being held in the cloakroom after 4^th period.

Director’s DVD Commentary 1: In advertising, especially on radio, the “record scratch” sound is ubiquitous. Does anyone under 18 even know what that is or why it’s used? I wonder if they just think it’s some strange artifact from radio-land.

Cheech and Chong had a couple of epic “record scratch” moments on their albums, hence my use as a descriptor. One was when the “father” tries to turn off his son’s music on “Earache My Eye,” eliciting shrieks of protest. The other is the last track of one of their albums where “Man” (Chong’s “hippy dude”) tries to put on the “New Cheech and Chong album” and scratches it up so badly the record ends with a repeated skip.

Director’s DVD Commentary 2: If you’ve never heard of Chuck Norris jokes, I apologize for that middle section of the post. Each of those Trump jokes is based on (what I presumed to be) well-known Chuck Norris jokes. If I presumed wrong, please forgive me. (I suppose I could include the original jokes here, but then once you have to explain a joke, the moment is gone.)

Also, despite this post’s title, Mr. Norris would probably not be pissed about these Trumpian claims. After all, he is a devoted religious-right conservative. He’d probably want a taste of the gate, though.

Is COVID 19 the New Covfefe?

Judging from the way the Coronavirus saga has unfolded, the only conclusion I can draw is that Trump wants an epidemic to sweep through the United States. That’s the only way his actions make any sense. Just think, he started preparing for this two years ago.

Getting rid of all the infectious disease prevention experts is an excellent first step. Whether it’s under the guise of cost-cutting or just getting rid of more former Obama employees, it ends up the same: any new pandemic specialists would have to be hired by Trump’s team, after administering a pledge of loyalty, no doubt.

Next step, make sure no government “experts” say anything about the virus to the media and spook the stock market. After all, that’s the important thing with Republicans. Gotta keep those dividends rolling in.

To be sure no one interfered with the plan, he got rid of most of this cabinet and senior staff and replaced them with toadies who would indulge his every whim. And then he put his most devoted lapdog, Mike Pence, in charge of the whole anti-pandemic operation.

This is Mike Pence’s 3-Step program to pandemic mitigation:

1)      Prayer circles.

2)      Remove funding from any medical organization involved in women’s health.

3)      Blame Obama, Democrats, gays, fornicators and atheists when it all goes kerflooey.

With the gag order on, Trump can speak to the masses himself to alleviate their anxiety.

And with that, we would all skip merrily along waiting for Spring to exterminate this over-rated virus. And the April Fool’s Day prank would be on us.

And why would Republicans want a mass die-off of Americans? Easy… voter suppression, less strain on public assistance, more supplies for the rest, and real estate for sale dirt cheap. And the mass fatalities from around the world? Screw’em! America First! 

They went to all this trouble to steal the 2016 election; it would be a shame to give it back after only four years. They already played the “What Russians?” card last time so they know people will be looking for it again. They have to be more creative this time around.

They say those with the highest risk of death from COVID 19 are the elderly and very young. The elderly are the most reliable voting bloc, which is pretty inconvenient if one of your goals is to get rid of Social Security. So when the geezers start dying off, maybe you can get away with privatization without retaliation at the polls.

And the young? Future socialists are a big threat to the Republican way of life. And any hippies, gays, atheists, and minorities that also die off are just the gravy. If enough people die off, it will cover up the gaping holes in the medical health system. And the mortuary business will be thriving!

Yes, they’ll have to make sure that the rank and file Trumpanzees don’t get swept up in this mass fatalities. I suspect that wouldn’t plant the virus in China before they first had a vaccine in hand. I bet all the Wall Street execs and hedge fund managers have already had their shot. They probably come free with the weekend golf package at Mar a Lago.

That would take care of the 1%ers, but to really make it go, they need to ensure the devoted followers known as The Base come through unscathed. Simple fix, though, with an aerosol form of the vaccine, which can be dispersed with the confetti at MAGA rallies.

Is all this far-fetched? Sure it is. But it’s the only logical path given what’s already transpired. It has to be a plan for power consolidation or else it’s just batshit crazy.

Otherwise, it would have to be the dumbest and most destructive set of actions against the health and livelihood of its own citizens that any administration has ever taken.

What are the odds of that one President could be that fucking stupid?

Debatable Topics

Last week’s Democratic debate in Nevada is the first one I actually enjoyed. Obviously, it helps that the herd has been thinned a bit, so we got to hear from everyone. But man, where the hell has Elizabeth Warren been all this time. She came out like a gangsta and gave it to Bloomberg like she just caught him banging the nanny.

Everyone was kind of testy, weren’t they? While Liz was throwing haymakers, Bernie was grumpy as always, and Amy and Pete were fighting like siblings at the kid’s table. I felt like someone should have put a parent between them.  Joe would start calmly but do a slow build so that by the time he was done, he was rolling like Bluto giving his “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?” speech.

It’s not that I want to see some good presidential prospects (and Bloomberg) tearing each other down, but damn, it’s about time someone showed a little feistiness.

Speaking of Bloomberg, watching him “debate,” left me with one dominating thought: “THIS is the guy everyone is so worked up about?” He looked like a barely animated corpse. All he needed to do to complete the illusion is do the soft-shoe and sing “Puttin’ on the Ritz.”

I wanted Amy Klobuchar to do better, I really did. A couple weeks ago, I took an online quiz that was supposed to match my opinions with those of the Democratic candidates. My results came out 1) Klobuchar 2) Warren. So that made me want to give her a serious listen. But she just came across like a freshman trying to justify a spot at the cool kids’ table. Then after the debate, she cut a path straight for the exit, passing up the chance to look confident and schmoozy with the others. She looked pissed, which is probably not the image you want when you have a rep for being a mean boss.

The night’s clear winner was Warren. Her demolition of Bloomberg was essentially an audition for the job of dismantling that other crass billionaire, on a debate stage this summer. She has passion and wit and a plan for everything.

Some people like the idea of a president they “can have a beer with.” I say, screw that. If I wanted an amiable drunk, I’d vote for Norm from Cheers. I want the president to be the smartest fucker in the room. I think Liz was the smartest person on that stage by far. She’s honest and transparent about what she intends to do. Her entire career has centered on ending the enormous advantages that Wall Street and the financial sector enjoy in this country, to the detriment of everyone else who’s not filthy rich. Her track record says that she’ll do what she says she’s going to do.

Obviously, that scares the hell out of the 1-percenters, who will do anything to keep her from winning (like ignoring her in news reports and polling projections.) So I think it’s a shame that her debate performance didn’t translate into a better showing in the Nevada caucus. Maybe it was too close to the event. Maybe it was just because it was a caucus, which for the life of me, I can’t understand why they even exist.

Is it not enough just to place votes and count them up? Why go through the whole dog and pony show? This allows a fraction of the voting public to participate in the primary, which then gets blown completely out of proportion. It almost sounds like the system is rigged by a small percentage of people who love hanging out with strangers in gymnasiums for several hours and arguing about politics. I say, the hell with “tradition,” when your tradition is so useless and stupid. Cast the votes, count the votes, declare a winner.

I know the media wants to run the shocking finale before the first act is through, but there’s a long way to go here before anyone gets too anxious about the eventual Democratic nominee. Three states have spoken, we have 47 more, plus a couple territories, yet to come. I read somewhere that there have been only 70-some delegates assigned, out of over 3000 in total.

The media seems to want the story to be about the inevitability of Bernie Sanders. Even the Russians are working for him now. But lest you think it’s because he’s one of them, I think it’s the opposite. He’s the one the Russians (and Republicans) want to run against their puppet Trump. They must have the most confidence in their campaign tactics that involve him, or else they’d push someone else.

It reminds me of that scene in “All the President’s Men” where Deep Throat, (Hal Holbrook) is describing Nixon’s rat-fucking tactics to Bob Woodward (Robert Redford): (and I’m paraphrasing because it’s been so long since I’ve seen it) “Who do the Republicans want to run against? McGovern. And who did they end up running against? McGovern.”

Bernie’s not my guy. If he wins the nomination, I’ll support him, but he’s not my choice. I don’t see the point in campaigning on promises that have zero chance of being met. Even if he wins, he’ll need Congress to go along with his teardown of The System. No matter who’s in control of the House and Senate, I just don’t see that happening.

If we’re lucky, we may end up with a gradual move in that direction and if the Democrats can stack some wins, continue the process until it ends up something like Bernie’s envisioning. But as soon as the GOP regains control of anything, it’ll be killed in its crib.

And all this is assuming the new Trump-appointed judges and Supreme Court majority don’t end it before it can start.

Not Debatable At All

Just to put a bow on last week’s story about the “Ghetto Steaks…”

Sweetpea did indeed turn those tough, gnarly, leathery steaks into something much more fitting.

Over the weekend, she stuck them all in the crockpot and shredded them down. Then she filled some a cupcake pan with the remains, added some vegetables and a little juice, and froze them. Instant dog meals, just nuke and serve.

Now before you get PETA on our case for giving such low-grade meat to a dog, please realize that we have a Labrador retriever. It doesn’t matter how tough the meat is because he doesn’t bother to chew. He just laps down whatever is in his bowl and then comes back to see what else we have. He will eat a filet mignon or a bowl of sawdust with equal enthusiasm.

In our dog’s eyes, as long as we keep putting stuff in their bowl, we’re all Emeril Lagasse.

Odd Bits - The Ghetto Steak Edition

Ten Years of Lying

I saw this meme on Facebook the other day… it was so bad it had to be a domestic product. The Russian troll farms produce better propaganda than this.

When the hell did anyone reputable ever say that these things were going to happen “in 10 years?”

I’ve been reading about “global warming/climate change since the terms were invented and I never once saw anyone claim that “in 10 years” one of these things would happen.

This is a “Straw Man Fallacy” because the creator mischaracterizes his foe’s argument and then attacks that, rather than looking at the consensus coming from experts in the field.

Plus, we can look around us most any week and find new symptoms of a destabilizing planet, from Australia wildfires, to massive ice bergs breaking off, to 70-degree temperatures in Antarctica, to every year setting a new record for global high temperatures.

This meme also doesn’t account for efforts mankind has taken to avert these catastrophes.

Out of oil? We’ve gotten a lot better at finding and extracting oil. At the moment, there seems to be plenty. That won’t last forever, of course. Oil is a finite resource. We won’t run out of oil, but at some point, it will become too expensive to extract it.

Another Ice Age? Frankly, I think the author pulled this one out of his ass. I’ve never, ever, heard anyone prognosticate that another Ice Age is on the horizon. He probably just needed something for the 70s.

Acid Rain? Cutting carbon emissions and other poisons previously released into the atmosphere has been the work of the EPA, right up until the Trump* administration neutered it. Without environmental regulations being what they were, acid rain would have become a more common problem.

Ozone Layer? Same there. Notice how you rarely see aerosol cans anymore. The EPA again worked to get ozone-destroying chemicals out of common products (or at least greatly lessen the amount).

Ice caps gone? I think that one’s too fresh because we’re losing ice cover at the poles at record speed. There’s no easy fix there because the ice caps are disappearing due to the end result of all our activity raising the temperature all over the world.

Then the part about taxes? Taxes go up, taxes go down, they get allotted all over town. But that’s always the big concern, isn’t it? “Oh my God, I might have to pay for something that doesn’t benefit me tomorrow.”

Maybe not tomorrow, but a big bill is coming due in our lifetimes. If we don’t figure out a way to get everyone on board, it’s going to suck all the joy out of being able to tell these climate-deniers “I told you so.”

A Modern Fable

The weekend before last, Sweetpea was out running errands. When she came out of the liquor store, she saw I guy hawking his wares out of his car. He had fish, steaks, and ribs, and was selling them cheap. He told her she could have a package of 9 steaks for $25.

She called me from her cell and asked me what I thought. I said, “$25 is a good price for 9 steaks. Take a look at them and if they look good, buy them.” He showed her the top two in the package, they looked good so she came home with the steaks.

Right off the bat, upon unwrapping the package, she saw that there were only eight of them. “Still,” I said, “$25 for eight steaks is a good deal too.”

Upon further inspection, they were awfully thin too, only about a half-inch thick. Plus, some of them were pretty narrow.

OK, so they weren’t very substantial. But what was there looked pretty good. We decided to grill them the next night. How bad could they be?

Worst steak in the world. Sweetpea knows her way around a grilled steak so I know it wasn’t her methods. But these things were tough, like shoe leather. And about as tasty. I could barely even cut through it. I had to hold the bone, sink my teeth in and pull just to get a bite. It was quite a mandibular workout. I wonder if it was even cow.

Plans now are to boil the rest down, mince them up, and give them to the dog.

The moral of the story: No matter how good the deal is, never trust ghetto steaks from a liquor store parking lot.

Bluz on Film

Over the last couple of months, I’ve seen a lot of new movies. Not that the movies were necessarily new but new to me. Saw some on the movie channels, a couple on new DVDs, a couple in the theater. I figured I’d give some quick impressions, which may be helpful if you’ve ever considered seeing any of these.

Star Wars – The Rise of Skywalker: (Theater) I don’t know why so many people gave this such a hard time. I guess expectations were just so high… high enough that there’s no way some people won’t be disappointed. I liked it just fine… it was what the Star Wars movies are supposed to be: action-packed popcorn movies.

1917: (Theater) I mentioned this here, when Sweetpea and I had our Baltimore Staycation. I thought it was superb, and I marveled the whole time about how they can maintain the “one-unbroken-shot” motif throughout the whole movie.

Men in Black – International: (Pay-cable) Fun movie but it just doesn’t have the same snap without Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones.

Long Shot: (Pay-cable) Very funny movie. Seth Rogan plays a schlubby guy who becomes a speechwriter for Secretary of State and presidential candidate, Charlize Theron. (She used to babysit for him, in their youth). I love when the schlubby guy gets the girl, even though I know damn well that it’s as unrealistic as no innocent bystanders getting shot in a Die Hard movie. And by God, Charlize Theron may be the most gorgeous woman on earth.

Godzilla – King of the Monsters: (Pay cable) Also on cable. Monsters fight each other while the government tries to decide which ones are on their side. I love creature features but I have no idea how a movie with so many monsters could be so dull and slow-moving.

Zombieland 2: (DVD) If you liked the first one, you’ll like this one. The big difference is that their angle on the zombie genre is no longer new, so it loses that little “zing” of originality. Still, there were some big laughs.

Terminator – Dark Fate (DVD) I’m a big fan of the franchise, but I don’t see why everyone was so down on this movie. I liked it. It’s what you expect from a Terminator movie. It picked up following T2 and ignored everything else. I wanted to see it in the theater, but it wasn’t there long enough. Three weeks and gone.

Birds of Prey (the Harley Quinn movie) (Theater) In my review of Suicide Squad, a few years back, I said, “I would watch a whole movie about Harley Quinn.” And so I did. In this R-rated DC Comics film, The Joker’s ex finds herself missing his protection when all those she wronged before are looking to get even. Another apparent bomb at the box office, I liked it anyway. People are so hard to please anymore. I find the character, as brilliantly played by Margot Robbie, audacious, hilarious, vulnerable and ultimately fascinating. One part of me thinks I could “fix” her, while the other part knows I’d just get screwed over in the end.

Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (DVD): I love the New Jersey series of Kevin Smith movies (Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, etc.) This guy was running the continuing arc of a multi-film universe long before Marvel ever started theirs with Iron Man. Anyway, this one is basically one long series of recurring cameos by stars from the other films. There’s lots of meta-moments and inside jokes that we’ve come to expect. I loved it.

Voting Early and Often

Last week I participated in the first of several 2020 elections. This one was the primary for the empty Elijah Cummings seat in the 7^th Congressional District. It was odd because it was the only race on the ballot (what with being a special election to fill the rest of his vacant term).

In April, we’ll vote again for the general election for that seat, as well as the primary for the same seat and other races of interest, like the one for president. The final vote will be the usual one in November.

Sweetpea and I ran right out at 7:00 AM to go vote and it was easily the fastest voting experience I ever had. Sure, only having one race on the ballot speeds things through. But at least at our voting place, they seemed to have their act together.

I was glad I knew who I was voting for when I walked in because if I hadn’t, it might have taken me another five minutes just to read the list of candidates. There were 24 of them, all running for that one seat. (And that didn’t include the seven Republicans running.)

I recognized four of them: one person whose family name is all over Baltimore politics, another was Cummings’ widow, another had spent a buttload of money on Facebook ads, and finally the one for whom I voted, Kweisi Mfume.

I knew he was a former president of the NAACP but I voted for him because he had occupied that same Congressional seat back in the 90s. I preferred to vote for someone who already knew how things worked in Congress, and wouldn’t need a lot of time and orientation. The dude has big shoes to fill. (I grant that someone may need to brief him on the cultural differences in the House between the 90s and now.)

What really got my attention about this voting experience was that they had on-the-spot voter registration. You can walk in there for the first time, register, and then go vote.

And that’s how it should be in every voting precinct in the country. It can’t be that hard… if the staggeringly bureaucracy that is Maryland state and local government can pull it off, how complicated can it really be?

But you won’t see this where Republicans are in charge because the last thing they want is for more people to vote. That’s why they don’t allow on-site registration, they curtail early voting, understaff and under-equip voting sites (especially in urban areas), and systematically purge the voter rolls (especially in urban jurisdictions), all under the guise of “preventing fraud.”

As anyone who’s bothered to look it up knows, on-site voter fraud is a statistically negligible event, even less than the margin of error. All the studies show it, including the one from the Bush Administration, who set out to prove that voter fraud was a serious problem and was being perpetrated by Democrats. The study found two things, Jack and Shit. The few fraudulent votes they found were for Republicans. They had to bury the whole thing because it didn’t accomplish its original goal, to pin voter fraud on the Dems and justify their voter suppression efforts.

A separate 14-year Loyola study found 31 instances of documented on-site voter fraud, out of over a billion votes. And almost all of them were garden-variety mistakes or bureaucratic errors rather than a plan to influence the election.

Yet, every time you ask a Republican about making it easier to vote, they act like there is an army of zombies and derelicts out there just waiting to vote under false pretenses. They love to point to dead people on the voter rolls as evidence of fraud. If anything, it’s evidence of shoddy bookkeeping, which should be tightened up. Wake me up when votes start to appear under those names. It just isn’t happening.

And what’s the Republican fix to dead people still being on voter rolls? Do they run a compare from death notices to the voter list? Hell no. They delete addresses of anyone who hadn’t voted recently or responded to a postcard. The other (accurate) way has no up-side for them.

On-site voter fraud would be the least effective way of election tampering, yet that’s the area where the GOP wants to concentrate their efforts, by requiring official IDs, which are selected specifically to make it easier for their people to vote rather than the enemy. Student IDs… out. NRA membership cards… in.

If you look into voter fraud at all, you’ll see that the most frequent and effective method of voter fraud involves absentee ballots. But nothing they have ever proposed to ferret out voter fraud has touched absentee ballots. I suspect that’s because the military uses them for all deployed soldiers. I suppose even those on-base use them too if they’re still registered in their home towns.

The only way to change any of this situation is to vote out those who created it. Obviously, that’s easier said than done, because of all the chicanery going on. 

Republicans know deep down that there are more prospective and registered Democrats than there are of them, so the only way to stay in power is to rig the system. Hence all the barriers, hence ignoring the Russians, hence the gerrymandering, hence the perverting of democracy while wrapping themselves in the flag.

Telling Those Assholes to Shut Up

Looks like the Trial That Wasn’t is wrapping up now. The prosecution is re-stating what they’ve already shown to be true and the defense will pretend that it never happened and everyone is gathered there for no apparent reason.

Delta House got a fairer hearing from Dean Wormer.

The only real question is which fig leaf would each wavering Senator grasp onto to cover their ass? And really it doesn’t even matter. If one doesn’t work, they just move on to the next one.

The only thing missing from the whole affair is Adam Schiff and the rest of the House Managers yelling “Blowjob” in between coughs.

After the inevitable acquittal, the first order of business back at the House of Representatives should be to subpoena John Bolton, Lev Parnas, and everyone else related to the new revelations. Get that video of Trump having dinner with the Ukrainian henchmen on the record. Get that audio of Trump telling them to “take care of” the Ambassador on every news station. Start the whole process again.

If the Senate won’t give them a real trial this time, keep sending them impeachment articles until they do. (They won’t, but it will keep the heat on Trump.) The case needs to be made crystal clear to the American public. Trump is a criminal and we have the evidence. There is no gray area here.

Of course, the Republicans are already making noises about impeaching Biden as soon as he takes office (should he win), just like they planned to do to Hilary. The big difference is that there is no evidence to back up their conspiracy theory. Hell, Snopes debunked all their talking points before they even became talking points.

Plus, if the Democrats keep the House, how are the Republicans going to start an impeachment hearing? Maybe I’m missing something from my governmental education, but doesn’t it take the House to produce and vote on articles of impeachment? How are Republicans going to pull that off? After the Blue Wave of 2018, I don’t think it’s going to get any better for them in the House. And with some breaks, they might even lose the Senate too.

And that’s exactly what we need because a new Democratic president will not get anything done without cooperation from both houses. Executive orders can only go so far. But at least they can go as far as to erase everything Trump did. The government needs a complete rebuild, after the damage done by this administration.

Debunkery

Republicans finally got their wish and have begun publicizing the name of the alleged Whistleblower. Over the weekend, I started seeing this meme pop up on Facebook.

I made a few edits. The radical right might be spreading this guy’s name and image, but I’m not going to help.

Director’s DVD Commentary: I’m assuming this is the guy but I could well be wrong. I have no evidence or proof that it is.  Nor do I guarantee the images aren’t photoshopped. I only know that Republicans are circulating the name and image and whoever he is, the rednecks are outside looking for him.

This is wrong on several levels, not least of which is blowing up the whistleblower program. There’s a reason for that program: it keeps mob mentality from harming someone serving the public interest. It’s just funny how the fact that none of the information initially provided by the Whistleblower has been proven wrong. In fact, the transcripts released by the White House essentially prove his point.

But that doesn’t keep people with their heads in the sand (or someplace warmer, smellier, and more humid) from going all Keyboard Vigilante on the guy.

But as to the contents of the meme, I have two major points.

First off, who says the WB hasn’t appeared in pictures with Republicans? Some guy working in a Republican Administration may well have pictures with the entire Cabinet. Picking out just these shots to make him look like a Democratic operative is intellectually dishonest. It’s no more valid than those misleadingly-edited Planned Parenthood “sting” videos.

And secondly, who else is left to call a foul on obvious criminal behavior? It’s not like the Republicans did anything about it. The Republicans who were initially involved made the call to move the recordings and transcripts to a secure server, to avoid discovery. And the Republicans in the Senate just showed everyone how seriously they take the concept of “policing their own.”

The dude took his life into his own hands and followed the official protocol to let the Powers That Be know that a serious incident took place, one that had vast legal ramifications. As far as I’m concerned, he’s an American hero.

And now on to the obligatory… “If someone had taken identical actions against Obama, Republicans would be throwing the fucker a parade.”

I’m Paying You to Get a Little Track Laid, Not Jump Around Like a Bunch of Kansas City Chiefs…

Congratulations to the Kansas City (Missouri) Chiefs. I was rooting for them for a couple reasons. The biggest reason is that it’s been 50 freakin’ years since they’ve even been in one. That is a looong-suffering fan base. The Chiefs vs Vikings in Super Bowl IV was the second Super Bowl I ever saw, and probably the first I paid any attention to. (I was 9 and just starting to follow football.)

The Chiefs have also been quite entertaining to watch all year and they didn’t disappoint last night. That was an exciting game all the way through. I like Patrick Mahomes, who has the best name ever. Just calling him by name makes it sound like you’re best buds.

Lastly, while I didn’t have anything against the 49ers in particular, I don’t want them to win that 6^th Super Bowl, at least not until my Steelers win their 7^th. Petty? Maybe. Do I care? Not even a little.  

It’s bad enough sharing the honors with the damned Patriots.