Monday, January 3, 2011

Spoiled

Before Christmas break, I borrowed seasons 1 & 2 of the Showtime series “Dexter.”  I don’t get Showtime, and Sitcom Kelly and another friend of hers thought I would like it. 

Dexter is a show about a serial killer that works as a blood spatter expert, to catch other killers.  He only kills bad people… those that have gotten away with killings of their own.  The show is kind of like CSI, only with a darker twist. 

I’m not going into a full-scale review, but I am going to mention some things about the show.  Also, don’t feel you have to be familiar with the show to continue reading.  The show itself is not really the point.  But if you are currently watching, or plan to watch “Dexter,” I recommend skipping ahead.  Look for the next red text. 

See, that’s called a “Spoiler Warning.”  I don’t want to ruin any future viewing for you.  Because Lord knows, I haven’t been able to get out of my own way on this one.  I’ve already ruined several plot points for myself and for someone else.

Before I sat down to watch the first disc, I looked at the episode description blurbs inside the DVD case.  They were sufficiently illuminating about the direction of the show, but didn’t really give away anything.  All I got was that the season was predominantly about catching the “Ice Truck Killer.”

Where I got into trouble was when I decided to peek inside the case for Season 2, where the first line I read was, “Now that Dexter killed his brother Brian, the Ice Truck Killer…”

Gahh!  Big twist ruined before I even start; so much for the mystery killer.  But still, the show was highly entertaining and far more engaging than one might think, given the subject matter.  So I felt like it would be a good idea to make note of my thoughts and share them with Sitcom Kelly and her friend, to whom the DVDs belong.  Given how Dexter uses a lot of voice-over to explain what he’s thinking, I immediately thought that it would be fun to add a “Dexter” spoof to our sitcom.  And we can have Sitcom Kelly called upon to perform as a “wine-spatter” expert, hired to reconstruct party spills on expensive furniture.  Lots of room to play there…

Meanwhile, I was at Target this week and noticed Season 4 for sale.  Right on the cover, it showed Dexter with a baby.  Gahhh!  So now I know that he gets in deeper with whom I suspect is his current girlfriend on the show. 

Later, I was on imdb.com, looking up the hot actresses in the cast to see if I’ve seen them in anything else.  And there it was… Dexter’s girlfriend listed with her last name/Dexter’s last name.  Gahhhh!  So now I know that Dexter marries her.

So what do I do?  I bat the email back to Sitcom Kelly and her friend, telling them the details on how I just spoilered myself again.  Her friend wrote back, “Shut up!  Don’t tell me any more!

Gahhhhh!  She hadn’t seen any further seasons and I just spoilered her!  Now how would I know that?  I figured since she was buying the DVDs, she must really have liked them, and at least, have already seen them!  God dammit!  Now I’m dragging innocent people into my web of spoilerism. 

I tell you, the show has been on since 2006 and I didn’t know diddly-squat about it.  Now, all of a sudden, I can’t turn around without being getting plot points in the face.  WTF??

Then this morning, I was delighting in the return of That’s Church, from hiatus.  Wouldn’t you know, right there in the first post I read:

"Got addicted to Dexter, the Showtime series, thanks to my husband. I thought he was going to cry when Burgher Julie Benz died."

Gahhhhhh!  Julie Benz played Dexter’s girlfriend.  Shit!  Shit!  Shit!  Shit!  (And she was hot, too.  Shit!)

I was all revved up to complain in Comments… not mean-like… you know I love Ginny… Hell, I stalked her at Podcamp, for cryin’ out loud.  But I thought better of it after her next lines:

"If you’re going to comment that I just spoilered an episode that aired two years ago starring an actress that is no longer on the show because she has a new show, then let me also inform you that Darth Vader is Luke’s father, he sees Bruce Willis because Bruce is dead, and Jerry had her at hello. HE HAD HER AT HELLO."

OK, point taken.  But damn it, why is it NOW that all this shit is just coming out of the woodwork on me, for a show I never gave two shits about for the last 4 years?

If this is how 2011 is going to unfold, I’m in for a bumpy ride.

**********OK, no more Dexter spoilers - Total subject change ahead**********

You may remember that back in October, I did a post on my friend Pam; my former “work wife.”  I wasn’t even going to tell her, but some of you were curious to see her reaction.  So about a week after I posted, I sent her the link.  I anticipated a major fuss from her end. 

What I got was… absolutely nothing.

I haven’t heard a peep from her since.  I suspected it was due to computer issues with her, but I wasn’t sure.  Could she have been pissed at me for talking about her online?  Or did she not like the pictures of her I used?  I wondered.

Then last Friday, I sensed a disturbance in The Force, emanating from out her way.  Pam finally found my email, read the post, and responded with a comment.  But since she was commenting on a 3-month old post, I knew the comment would be seen by approximately no one.  So as a public service, I thought I’d run it here.  Sunshine, the floor is yours.

"Bluz...Bluz...Bluz...OMG!!!!! I can't believe you wrote a blog about me. OK I am boo-hooing right now... let me get it together.

I guess you are wondering what took me so long to read/respond to your wonderful post. In the past I used the MSN browser for email (loved it) and for some reason it stopped working so I have to use HOTMESS (oops Hotmail). Can't stand it! Any hoo... Bluz, as you know my sun has not been shinning lately, I haven't been checking email on a daily and now have accumulated thousands of emails in my INBOX...well no more. Operation Clean Out My Inbox has begun. At first, I was just going to hit DELETE button and delete all of the emails at one time but I thought (yep, I do that sometimes) “Pam, delete the emails in sections.” I am soooo glad that I listened to myself! You were email #918."

So that explains the extended “radio silence.”  OK, onward…

"At work Bluz and I were two peas in a pod. Really, you should have seen our cubicle. Beware, don't talk to Bluz before he has his morning bottle of Diet Coke, and don't let something happen on the subway or the walk from the subway to work...BAD MOOD!!! At least when he arrived, there I was with a smile on my face to brighten his day. The real reason why I was smiling is because I was thinking about my bacon and pancake breakfast. LOL!!!! I miss those days.

What I miss the most is eating lunch together, exploring our taste buds at all of Baltimore Inner Harbor restaurants. I must admit everything that Bluz wrote is TRUE. He is my best friend and a person who I know will be honest with me whether I like it or not. It doesn't matter whether it's been 2 days, 2 weeks or 2 months we pick up right were we left off. You will always be my special friend.

P.S. Bluz, I never thought people were talking about us, were they? Was I that clueless?

P.S again... writing this made my day!"

Thank you for writing back, Pamela, and thank you for being “you.”  If you enjoyed reading it half as much as I enjoyed writing it… well then I enjoyed it twice as much as you did. 

PS. My boys are going to the playoffs.  What happened to your (Cow)boys?? Gahhhhhhh!

27 comments:

  1. I LOVE Dexter though I'm sorry you read all those huge spoilers. I'm behind on the newest season and have avoided reading anything about it. Even though you know those spoilers, you should still watch the show. There are a bunch of other really crazy things that happen you don't know about. Plus, just a really great show.

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  2. Oh, I'll keep watching, no doubt. We just have to figure out now who's going to buy Season 3.

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  3. I've never watched Dexter because I don't have Showtime either, but I've long been tempted to get the DVDs although do I really need another addiction? The good news is you've spoiled nothing for me. At my age, I can't remember squat so it's like it never happened.

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  4. I'm glad Pam found your post and e-mailed you. I need to look at your "work wife" post, too. I know work would suck without my work husband.

    I'm not really spoiler-phobic. I try to be considerate of others, but one can only do so much. If the show, movie or book is good enough, I like to see how everyone got to that particular plot twist or ending anyway.

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  5. Jayne,
    I was hoping I'd forget that first one. I mean, I put the DVD case down like it was on fire. And I hoped I'd get distracted by a shiny object somewhere and forget all about it.

    No such luck. It was like when someone tells you, "Don't think of an elephant." All you can do is think of elephants. Still, it was an enjoyable journey. And the thing is, you didn't know WHO was going to turn out to be the killer brother, so it was still worth the trip.

    Lilo,
    The link is right there in this post, but I think you read and commented on it when I first posted it. (I'm too lazy right not to go back and check.)

    I can live with seeing spoilers; I just feel really bad about ruining it for Sitcom Kelly's friend.

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  6. While I dearly love you, I couldn't read this post bc I'm currently reading the Dexter series... I just started the first book (I'm not extremely fucking thrilled!) so when I'm done I'll let you know what I think! Love your face Bluz!!!

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  7. Spoilers are just a buzz kill. I always seem to notice things after I learn about them and it can be very annoying.

    I do remember the post about you work wife, Pam. I'm sure she would respond if she could.

    And let my say this, I am sorry for not commenting for some time. I'm so behind I don't think I'll ever catch up.

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  8. CB,
    Welcome back! Sorry I don't have much for you here, under the circumstances. But at least I didn't ruin it for you! Hang with the book... it gets better!

    Mad Mind,
    Good to have you back too. Such a bitch when life gets in the way of our internet surfing...

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  9. I HATE that. Tom and I are determined to SOMEday rent/buy/whatever all of the "Lost" seasons. We didn't watch the last two on tv because we were so sure we'd be getting the dvds and wouldn't want to see something important ahead of time (or be lost - hee hee - lost). Everywhere we look, they're selling the first season (which we watched religiously) and like the fourth or something. Eg. We're still hoping, but have yet to own/watch any of them. *sigh*

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  10. I got Matt hooked on Grey's Anatomy. And before you think of him as less of a man because of it, it's really not a chick show. People just assume it is. So we'll sit on the couch after the kids go to sleep and I'll fire up some online (because I know how to watch any show online for free) and he'll keep me up until practically midnight saying, "Next episode, please!"

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  11. Pam is much more interesting than any tv series. Good to hear from her again. She is always a surprise. No spoiling her episodes.

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  12. Michael C. Hall is a freakin' beast! I love Dexter. That opening sequence, when the tight t-shirt catches on his lip...ugh.

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  13. Ah Bluz, I read the post about Pam. I don't know how I missed that but it was awesome and your friendship is a rarity to be cherished.

    Rich and I tried to watch Dexter, but just couldn't get into it. I'm not sure why. But I now have him hooked on Six Feet Under, a series that I loved with the same star as Dexter. That one is hard to believe! Anyway, I had missed the last few seasons of Six Feet Under and can't wait to see the rest of it with Rich. Tiff and Brian love Dexter, so I feel guilty about not liking it. Anyway...enjoy!

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  14. Cristy,
    Lost is a great show to watch on DVD because it was always so maddening when they’d bring the episode up to this tremendous crescendo, then “bong”… the end. Used to drive me crazy.

    I didn’t get into Lost until the 3rd season, I think. Pinky watched it and I got sucked in. I caught a few early reruns, but I really need to go back and watch the first 2 seasons on DVD.

    Cassie,
    I would never cast such aspersions on your man… not after being hooked, myself, on Ally McBeal. One man’s “chick show” is another mans “show full of hot chicks.”

    Mary Ann,
    Agreed… Pam has more twists than Chubby Checker. I could easily write a sitcom about her life… I’d call it, “Oh Hell No…”

    Sally,
    Funny… I’m probably more un-nerved by the “breakfast-as-murder-method” sequence than the actual killing in the show. I always skip it on the DVD.

    I’ve always wondered why they even put the title sequence before every episode on a DVD… it’s just the same thing over and over again… seems like a giant waste of time.

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  15. Cher,
    I wouldn’t worry about not liking Dexter… it probably just means you have a conscience.

    Regarding Pam, I give her all the credit. She’s the one that had to put up with ME.

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  16. And don't forget all the sex.

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  17. I KNEW she would be the first commenter! You scored major, major Brownie points with the Web Mistress with this post. She's kind of in love with Dexter, and given that he's, you know, a serial killer and whatnot, it's more than slightly disturbing.

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  18. I started Dexter but drifted off because (a) I was into too many shows at the time, and (b) although it was interesting, I wasn't sure how far they could stretch their premise before it just ended very bad. I may go back, but Gahhhhhhh! There are many highly acclaimed shows I've never seen, including Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Sons of Anarchy, The Wire, and several vampire dramas. Some day...

    Oh, and in 2011... the Pens win the Stanley Cup over the San Jose Sharks, Ben Roethlisberger marries and divorces after cheating on his new bride with a Hooters waitress in Arkansas, and the Pirates lose more than they win. Gahhhhhh!

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  19. Oh, and in Sitcom Kelly's sitcom, she should work for the police investigating kidnapping cases, all the while stashing several men in her own basement.

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  20. I've never watched Dexter, but know several people who are fans. After reading your (spoiler :) synopsis I'll have to check it out.

    I'm currently stuck on Hung. Hella funny!

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  21. Mrs. Bachelor Girl,
    Uh-oh, Jessica… MBG is giving away your secrets…But I guess it’s OK… if people can be in love with vampires and werewolves and stuff, are serial killers such a reach, if they only kill bad people?

    Carpetbagger,
    I find I have to carefully manage how many series I’ll commit to, especially because new TV runs coincide with the Penguins schedule. DVR helps, that’s for sure. But series DVDs are great for the down times like Decembers when most of the shows are in reruns, and the summer, when they air the shows that weren’t quite good enough for the fall slate.

    Whoa, you think the Sharks are going to make the finals? Everything else seems plausible, more or less.

    Yeah, Sitcom Kelly could be brought in by the police to analyze the wine spatter from the kidnap scenes, but will have to be careful to keep the cops out of her Penguin-filled basement. It totally works.

    Kernut,
    I watched the first season of Hung and liked it, but after that I just never picked it up again.

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  22. They put that on there specifically for my benefit, so I can be thoroughly aroused before the episode even starts.

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  23. Sally,
    That’s very kind of them and I appreciate it. Because an aroused Sally makes for super-interesting blog reading.

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  24. You could write a piece about your hot Arizona Auntie. Or not.

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  25. Judie,
    Not without video accompaniment. Maybe you could hire that Girls Gone Wild guy...

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