A Fair To Remember

With the first annual Baltimore Grand Prix Indy car races over the weekend, I felt the need to go watch some racing… some HORSE racing at the Maryland State Fair.  It’s a thing I do every year… I go out to the track and spend the day betting on the ponies.  As with last year and the year before, I’m getting a post out of it.

One the way in, I passed the same stand as last year; the one that had the fried Pop Tarts, Snickers Bars, Oreo, PB&J sandwiches, etc.  This year, they added a new feature:

To me, there is no need to take the most perfect confection ever and defile it with deep-frying.  

My goal on State Fair Racing Day is to win just enough to cover my overhead, which this year is $5 for parking, $8 for admission to the Fair, $5.50 for a soda and a slice of pizza, $3 for the racing program and  $1 for the “tip sheets”.  This year I had to fork over another fifty cents for a pen, because I left mine in the car.  Total overhead costs: $23.00.

On the way in, I saw all these girls lined up along the wall of the track.  I was thinking, WTF?  Either a bus is coming to pick them up, or they’re all FFA chicks here to see the horses.  Then I realized that there was a concert being held there that evening.  Aha.  I’d have to find out who it is, that is garnering such attention.

It’s an interesting mix of people, at a State Fair race track.  It’s like part wholesome families, part degenerate gamblers.  I’m kind of in between… a wholesome gambler, one day a year.

Betting 101

I usually bet $2 exacta boxes.  An exacta is picking the 1^st and 2^nd place finishers in order.  If you “box” it, it means they can finish in either order.  (Technically, you’re placing 2 exacta bets at $2 apiece, so the total bet is $4.)  Sometimes, if I’m trying to cover more ground, I’ll box a favorite with 2 different horses, like betting on the 1 and 3 horses, plus the 1 and 5 horses to come in 1^st and 2^nd.  That would be $8 in bets.  So any winnings would have to pay more that $8 for me to break even.

And They’re Off

I claimed a seat in the grandstand and reacquainted myself with the racing form.

Geez, I’d forgotten my pen in the car and then kicked over my Pepsi.  You think that’s a bad omen for a day with this many mojo implications?

Last year, I made much sport out of the names of 2 of the jockeys, Chris and Wes Ho.  Later, Mama Ho had Googled their names, found my post and left a good-natured comment of her own.  Her sons had spent the day messing up my bets, so I promised that I’d put a few bucks down on the Ho brothers the next time I was out.

Race 1

Wes Ho was running on the 3 horse, Our Jaks, so I bet a $4 exacta box with another favorite, the 2 horse, Empress Lisa.  I like to start conservatively and go from there, preferably with a fistful of ‘house money.’  As post time approached, the odds on Wes Ho went to even money.  If he didn’t finish, there were going to be a lot of people wanting to smack a Ho.  But that wasn’t necessary because the 3 horse charged late from 4^th position to 2^nd and they finished 2-3.  I won my bet… a whopping $7.40.  Subtract the initial bet and I cleared a whole $3.40.  Not a big gain, but then any time you don’t lose, you win.  I think Yogi said that.  Thanks Mama Ho!

Race 2

There was no Ho in the 2^nd race so I took the consensus picks from the tip sheets and boxed 5 (Unbridled Babe) with 7 (Piper’s Punch).  I’m all for babes being unbridled.  It’s being “brided” that’s a whole ‘nother thing.  I also played a straight exacta on 5-6 (Sangrada Familia).

The 5 horse stayed in the mix but they finished 3-5-6.  If it wasn’t for the 3, I’d have nailed the 5-6 part.  I didn’t feel bad…the winning horse was running it’s first race ever, so there was literally no history.  But that’s the way the horse races, so I was out $6.  No more ‘house money.’  I did notice that the jockey that won the first race, Xavier Perez, came in 2^nd here.  I’d have to watch him.

Race 3

This was a race for horses that haven’t yet won 2 races, so there was some history to work with.  I tried an experiment for this bet… I analyzed the stats carefully and bet on my own analysis rather than what the tip sheets said.  I felt pretty good about it.  The favorites they were picking didn’t add up to me.  Their win and other in-the-money showings were too far in the past.  The tips said bet on a 4-7 finish.  I exacta boxed 3-6.  (My Name is Ralphie and Queen of the Disco.)  This was a good gamble… the toteboard said that hitting my exacta would pay $81.  That would get me some solid ‘house money.’  By bucking the crowd, I was either going to be brilliant or look like a fool.

From my seat in the stands, I took some shots of my picks.

Joshua Navarro on My Name is Ralphie

Malcolm Franklin on Queen of the Disco

The favorites, 4 and 7, shot out to an early lead.  My 3 horse, My Name is Ralphie, was next to last.  Queen of the Disco made a late charge to win, but Ralphie never came close.  The favorite 7 horse came in 3^rd and the other favorite, 4 horse, did not finish in the money.  So all told, I wasn’t totally right and I wasn’t totally wrong.   And the exacta paid $94.80.  I lost my meager $4.

Race 4

This was another tough one to call… while there was plenty of history to evaluate, all seemed kind of “meh.”  Going with the hot jockey Xavier Perez, I boxed his 8 horse, VP Joe with the 7 horse, Joshua Navarro on Am So Happy.  Navarro blew it for me in the last race so I figured I’d give him a chance for redemption.  I also did a straight exacta on 7-3, with a horse called Unpinkable (in honor of my Pinky).

The one combo I didn’t cover was the 8 with the 3, so naturally that’s how they finished.  Gah!  My 7 horse finished 4^th.  “You’re dead to me, Navarro.”  I’m down another $6.

Race 5

Now I’m betting the jockeys.  Perez is running the 3 horse, Kansas Tornado.  Navarro is on the other favorite, the 2 horse Big MJ.  I avoid him like the plague.  I box 3 with 8 (Big Apple Alke) ridden by Wes Ho.  I also played a straight 3-1 exacta with the 1 horse, Skidoodle.  I was sorely tempted to bet on a horse called Pop’s Mojo.  In fact, he ran at the Fair last year and I bet on him to win, and he did.  That was also his last win.  And this race was 2 furlongs longer.  He was going 20-1 odds this time, so I stayed away.

Now I know that Navarro is just messing with me, as he runs 2^nd to my 3 horse.  The 1 horse never came close and Wes Ho on the 8, came in 4^th.  If I hadn’t purposefully avoided Navarro, I’d have hit the exacta for $17.40.  Shit, down another $6.

Race 6

I’m starting to get discouraged here and feel the need to shake up my mojo.  I decide to watch the next race from down on the rail.  I’m just betting the jockeys again, because it’s a maiden race (for horses that have never won) and there was little history to evaluate.  I boxed 1 (Wes Ho on Missy Kim) and 3 (Xavier Perez on Miss Sweet Talker) in an exacta.  This was a 6-furlong race, meaning they’d cross the grandstand once before going around again to the finish. 

It’s fun to watch the race by the rail and it’s a great picture-taking opportunity.  Here’s what I got…

These first three were from the first pass in front of the grandstands.  You can see the 4 (Joshua Navarro on Riley’s Rampage) and 2 (Malcom Franklin on Sugadadeze) horses running in front.

Now, racing for the finish line:

It’s still 2 and 4 dueling for the win.  My 1 and 3 are nowhere to be seen.

The gray 4 horse won by a nose.

Freakin’ Navarro wins again.  Fucker only wins when I don’t bet on him.  Minus another $4. 

Race 7

To further shake up my mojo, I place my bet at the downstairs windows, but return to my original seat in the grandstands.  This time I combine betting the jockeys with my own analysis.  I exacta box 9-7 (Xavier Perez on Roman’s Touch) and a favorite Coolheaded.  I do another exacta box, 1 (Dom) and 7 (Coolheaded).

They finished 9-7 so I finally won one.  (Whoo Hoo!)  Roman’s Touch was 8-1, so the exacta bet paid off nicely for $67!  NOW, I’ve got some house money!  Just when I was thinking about calling it a day.

Race 8

It worked once, so I tried it again… I went all the way back downstairs to place my bet.  Unfortunately, some other people moved my “seat marker” Pepsi bottle and sat in my seat.  I sat right in front of them.  I toyed with the idea of standing for the whole next race, just to piss’em off.

Perez has been winning like crazy but in this race, he’s on a horse that’s running 30-1.  I may be dumb but I’m not stupid.  According to the stats, the 3 horse, (JD Acosta on Rapid Redux) had won his last 10 races so it was a no-brainer to couple him with another favorite.  I picked the 1 horse, Albrecht.

This was another race where they pass the stands twice and I made an ass of myself by celebrating as the 3 and 1 horses “finished” 1-2 on their first pass.  (oops)  But I got to celebrate again as they hold on to finish (for real) the same way.  Whoo Hoo!  Rapid Redux was such a huge favorite, the exacta only paid $7.80.  Minus the $6 I bet, I cleared a stunning $1.80.  Again… it beats losing.

Race 9

This was the last race of the day, so I decided to really give it a go.  (The house money helps!)  I bet downstairs again, because you never mess with a streak.  I also usually watch the last race from the rail, but again, I went back to my seat, so not to upset the mojo. 

This was the first race that Chris Ho was running; Wes Ho was running as well.  I pondered long and hard on doing a box with these two, but I wasn’t crazy about the horses they were on. 

The program and both tip sheets said to bet 7-3-1. (Albert Delgado on Please Sir, JD Acosta on Here for the Music, and Joshua Navarro on Mr. Mannie.)  I played 2 exacta boxes, 1-7 and 3-7.  I also played the trifecta (picking 1^st, 2^nd and 3^rd place finishers in order) as 7-3-1.  Needless to say, I was totally invested in these three horses.  Bet cost me $10, which is a lot for me on one race.

Once again, a Ho busted up my party.  Wes Ho on the 6 horse charged late for 2^nd place and the finish was 7-6-3-9.  I had the 7 and 3.  The 1 horse (with Navarro) was nowhere to be seen.  Gah!  I had given him another chance and this is how he does me?  Oh, and that 9 horse… that was Chris Ho.  Rolled by the Ho’s again! 

Mama Ho, I apologize.  I should have listened better.

On the way out, I took a shot of all the youngsters still in line. 

I found out later that they were waiting for a show by a group called All Time Low.

Hmm.  Never heard of them.  Obviously I’m getting very old.

Anyway, my totals for the day:

Net bet winnings: $29.20

Overhead: $23.00

Net Daily Earnings: +$6.20

Whooooooo!  Moneybags in the house.

I’m not complaining though.  I had a day’s worth of entertainment and it didn’t cost me a dime.  I won on 3 of 9 races, even if 2 of the wins didn’t add up to much.  Even in the ones I lost, I was usually pretty close.  Added up for a Fairly satisfying day.