Sunday, September 11, 2011

The Unseen Enemy

Everyone knows this is a big day.  It’s a day where we square up against our enemy and say, “You can’t stop us, assholes, here we come.”

I was on high alert all day Friday, as I walked through town going to and from work.  I checked out everyone I walked by, wondering if this is the jagoff that’s going to start some shit.  Every time I crossed the street, I felt like I had a bull’s-eye on my back.

Such is life for a Steelers fan living in Baltimore, the week before they play each other.

What?  What did you think I was talking about?

As far as I’m concerned, if the terrorists are going to blow something up, I at least hope they have the decency to wait until after 4:00, when the game’s over.

This is one of the 2 games all year that I consider “must win.”  And I hate that they play each other in the season’s first game.  I’d much rather they have a few games to figure out who they are and what they have to work with.  Too much weird stuff happens can happen in a season opener.

Idiot Ratbird fans have been hitting comments sections hard, continuing to spew their persecution complex excuses about biased referees.  They complain about alleged cheap shots from Hines Ward (who hits people straight up, but hard and when they don’t expect it,) and celebrate their nose tackle breaking our QB’s nose last year with an unpenalized forearm to the face.  You can’t reason with people like that, so I don’t try.

My little ragtag band of rebels, the Steel City Underground, did not gather prior to this weekend’s game, like we did last year.  My counterpart, with whom I started this group, was on vacation all last week.

Like I’m going to organize a pizza party myself…  Organizing the Darwinfish Fries is really all that I can handle.  Plans are to get together next week.  If the Steelers win, we’ll probably do it visibly, in the cafeteria.  If the Ratties win, I foresee a private party in the conference room.  No sense in presenting an easy target.

The Mojo Boogie
According to the Ratbird website, they’ll be wearing their white jerseys, putting the Steelers in heat-absorbing black.  That’s fine with me.  The Steelers will rock the black and gold in any weather.  But more importantly, I’m inclined now to wear a black jersey for the game.  I usually save my Troy Polamalu jersey for later in the year, but this is a big game and Troy always plays his ass off against the Rats.

Today’s mojo apparel:
Troy jersey, white Steelers shorts.  Sorry, Judie, I don’t usually break out the Steelers socks until the 3rd or 4th game.

I’m also trying out a new mojo totem… I’m taking my Steelers Gnome off my desk and posting him at the TV, along side Penguins Gnome.  We’ll see how that works.

And now, I am ready for some football.

Director’s DVD Commentary:
Yes, I realize that this is the 10th anniversary of the September 11th attacks.  But I said all I needed to say on the subject last year, on the 9th anniversary.  I never said that timing was my strong suit.  Regardless, if you weren’t around last year, click here to see my 9/11 post, including some video I shot from the top of the towers in 1995.

17 comments:

  1. Now THIS is my kind of 9/11 post. Although, wait, I don't like sports, either. I guess I like rivalries, though. Especially those that involve hanging mascots and hoping some dude on the street will start some shit so you can bust out your ninja skillz.

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  2. Mundane,
    That's the thing... this post isn't really about sports... it's about fandom and the weird shit we do for our teams.

    And like I said, I already did my Big Heavy 9/11 post last year. It's just a big deal now because we like nice round numbers.

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  3. Director's DVD Commentary: After losing 35-7, I'm not sure which mojo-repairing action to take; burn the Polamalu jersey or bury the Steelers Gnome in the yard. Sheesh...

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  4. Eff. Burn and bury. That was ugly.

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  5. I vote you ditch the shorts. They remind me of ones my high school gym teacher wore back in the mid to late '80s. Worth noting is that he was, however, a pretty successful football coach (and still coaching the same team).

    As an aside, I wish I had said everything I wanted to say about 9/11. I keep finding more things to talk about, to relive, to discover for the first time.

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  6. Great opening, man. Very funny stuff. You had me there for a minute. Sorry I'm kind of a twit with football, but I hope your boys played a good game yesterday. Cheers!

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  7. HAHA! You got me with the title! I like your spin on the 9/11 post :)

    I didn't realize how superstitious fans could be. When I used to watch sports, I guess I never was really that in to any team. I loved the old (Joe Montana era) 49ers, but never did dress up or have nay related mojo memorabilia.

    Good luck! I hope the Steelers win for you!

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  8. Ah, Bluz. These are the days that build character, refined in the flames of suffering. You need to get a photo of that fake extra point. That was bush league, a punk ass move. Post it around your desk. That kind of karma will come back to haunt the Ratbirds. Their fans need to know that, like 9/11, it will not be forgotten.

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  9. DG,
    I realized, after the fact, that I had not exposed my Steelers blanket that I keep on my easychair footrest. There was an afghan on top of it, during the game. I think that was the culprit right there. We’ll see in the coming weeks.

    Facie,
    Aw, I love those shorts; they’re so comfy. Plus, I’ve always hated the now-fashionable ‘long’ shorts. If you’re going to wear shorts that long, why not just wear pants? Is it really that helpful to have a 5” slice of ankle exposed?

    Like I always say, when you have legs that look this good, it’s a cryin’ shame to cover them up.

    Beer,
    Thanks for the retroactive good wishes, but my boys got crushed. Gah! At least I'm fortunate in that I sit in a cube back in a corner where no one ever goes, and am surrounded by women who don't follow football. I was allowed to lick my wounds in peace.

    Kernut,
    Oh, I'm completely superstitious/irrational about sports, hence all the fuss about mojo.

    The Montana-era 49ers were a seriously dangerous team. You picked a good time to follow them.

    Carpetbagger,
    Consider my character 'built' right now.

    Oddly, while the players might have an ax to grind about the Ratties keeping their foot on the gas, I can't fault them. The Steelers have burned them before with late comebacks. I don't blame them for scoring all they could. Steelers needed to step up and stop them.

    Now, if it rattles their cages and they come out for blood next time, all the better.

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  10. I never even considered terrorists! I knew perfectly well what you were talking about. Oh, shit! Does this mean I am becoming a fan? Only of you, Bluz!

    And yes, I was disappointed about the socks.

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  11. I've been buried under deadlines and slowly catching up on posts.

    Sorry the mojo wasn't there. Maybe you should bury that gnome upside down in your yard... or throw him at the next Raven fan that gives you crap.

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  12. Judie,
    You know my too well, my friend. No fooling you…

    I’ll have the socks on next week, because I’ll have to go out to a sports bar to see the game.

    Jessica
    As satisfying as it would be to throw a gnome upside some Ratbird fan’s head, you have to remember that I just hurt myself throwing napkins! Throwing a gnome would probably put me in the hospital.

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  13. It was just a bad, bad week for black and gold.

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  14. HOLY SHIT! I ACTUALLY KNEW SOMETHING ABOUT FOOTBALL FOR ONCE!

    Write this down.

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  15. Mrs. Bachelor Girl,
    Right! I’m proud of you! You must have accidentally seen a sports report on the news. A consistently good team like the Steelers getting beat that badly is big news.

    You want to make things interesting? Tell them you’re still wondering if you should have an abortion. I bet I’d be able to hear the commotion from here.

    Red Pen Mama,
    If we lose to Indy (the next game I’ll watch at home), I’ll move the gnome. I still think it was not having my Steelers blanket exposed. I’d hate to give up Gnome Field Advantage prematurely.

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  16. Yah. That was bad. Really bad. I, however, won in Fantasy Football. Yay for me!

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