This is my 3rd go-round on this award. So happy it’s a new picture… that much better to bolster the illusion of popularity and quality. But I know the Versatility is real… where else does one go to read about politics, weird news, other bloggers, bacon, Pittsburgh sports and drunk-stories? So thank you, Thoughtsy, for being all, “I rec-a-nize…”
In keeping with the part of the rules where I have to provide 7 things about myself, (and ignoring the part where I have to pass the award on, because I’m a selfish prick), I present the following…
1. I spent 9 hours worth of my time this month, editing a book for someone I’ve never met.
OK, two things… First, “editing” may be a reach. I am reviewing and providing feedback, while also fixing phrasing, punctuation, grammatical and structural errors. Secondly, it’s a friend of Sitcom Kelly’s, who she told that I might be a good sounding board for her manuscript.
The book itself was a challenge, because a dude like me is NOT the target audience. Sure, the trials and tribulations of modern dating provides fertile ground, but there is only so much “Men are Inconsiderate Pigs” material that a guy can handle. And the chapter about jewelry and wedding dress shopping was like an entire day of clothes shopping at the mall with your girlfriend, packed into 15 pages.
Anyway, I got through it. I’ll have to see if she takes any of my “advice.” But I always wanted to take a shot at doing something like this. I’ve done a lot of editing for other people, but never so much at one time, on a subject so far out of my wheelhouse.
I have a feeling that she’s going to think that I hate her, because there were a few occasions where I had to be brutally honest. But I just channeled back to what my first editor did to me, and let it fly. Thanks, Mom.
2. I barely ducked a hellacious fight last night. While I was editing the book, Pinky started reading over my shoulder, during a chapter about how great it was to be single and living alone. She thought it was something I was writing, rather than editing.
Luckily, I began typing a correction (in red, with Word “Change Tracker” on) and she realized that it wasn’t my doing.
Phew! Bullet dodged, and I got to watch “So You Think I Can Dance,” in peace. (Come to daddy, Cat Deeley!)
3. This editing experience has wiped out any latent desires I’ve ever had to write my own book. It’s one thing to throw a few old stories down on a blog… those are just bite-sized morsels. It’s quite another to expect that strangers are going to plunk down money to read about the life of someone that’s never been on Inside Edition or Entertainment Tonight. (Or Inside Entertainment or Tonight’s Edition, for that matter.)
I get told all the time that I should write a book. And I always say, “I AM writing a book. And I’m posting it chapter by chapter, in a blog, online.”
It looks like that’s going to have to do.
4. There are two points of view, when some old man is moving slowly and purposefully down the sidewalk.
Old Guy’s Perspective: Geez, this hurts, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let anyone see me struggle. I’m just going to fight my way through this and go where I have to go. Heck, I’m probably being an inspiration to people right now. They’re going, “Look how that guy’s fighting through his pain and persevering.” That’s it, one foot in front of the other. You can do it.
Guy Walking Behind the Old Guy’s Perspective: I wish this old fuck would get the hell out of my way.
Is it bad that I’ve been both of these guys within the last year?
5. I’m becoming obsessed with getting an iPad, ever since I played with one when I was on vacation. But in order to do that, I have to set up a wireless network at home, which gives me great pause. I even have a wireless router, which came with the DSL hookup I got in 2005. I just never set it up. I have to get with some geeks down at Best Buy, to make sure a router from that era will work with a brand spanking new iPad.
Also, given the age of my PC, it’s kind of like putting a $1500 stereo in a $150 piece-of-shit car. My PC is so slow anymore, I can’t stand it. But I can’t stand even more, the thought of trying to transfer all my apps, programs, emails and other crap from one PC to a new one.
6. I may go see the new Batman movie this weekend. And not only is the theater near a Wendy’s (Whoo Hoo!) but also a Best Buy. I just might get sucked into showing up there. And once that happens, my will power pretty much dissolves. I can satisfy both my bacon AND electronics fix in one trip.
7. My letter to the editor (from the previous post) hasn’t made it onto the Baltimore Sun website, and it probably won’t. But someone else’s has and he has my same point of view. If only I could learn to make such solid points in so few paragraphs.
So there… Those are my Seven Things About Me, even though they are really only kinda about me. If Thoughtsy can fulfill her requirement by listing all her favorite cheeses, I can provide a fuzzy list, like this. Because, I’ve already told you so many things about me over the last 3 years; I’m starting to run out of material.
I really gotta do more stuff.