Monday, September 2, 2013

A Fair Deal

Hope everyone had a good Labor Day.  Mine wasn't without challenges.  For example, I woke up to find that my building’s hot water heater blew up.  There was no hot water, or cold water, for that matter.  I discovered that fact when after my morning pee, the toilet tank didn't refill after I flushed.

Normally, that wouldn't have been too big a deal, but because I had the day off, I could see a problem on the horizon.  Yesterday, I was out at a picnic, at which I ate All the Food.  That meant something had to give.  I tweeted my predicament:


Luckily, I could hear the workmen talking, and one of them said the cold water was back on, (as they were working on installing a new hot water heater).  So, short term; problem solved.

Today was my day to go to the Maryland State Fair and bet the races.  I do this every year.  I enjoy doing the race analysis from the program and trying to pick winners.  Temps were supposed to reach around 90 today, so I knew it was going to be a warm one.  Seems a shower would have been wasted anyway, so I just went “as is.”  I figured, if anyone caught an overly ripe smell from my vicinity, I could just blame it on the cows.

They still have that Fried Everything stand right outside the cow barns.


This year, I thing the Fried Grilled Cheese Sandwich is new.  I can just hear what the parents are telling their kids now… “Back in my day, all they had were fried Snickers and Twinkies.”

While I’m usually a creature of habit, (as you know), this time I did something different… I brought a 6-pack with me.  (You’re allowed to bring beer and drinks into the fairgrounds.)  I’ve never done it before, but with the temps up, I figured it might help.

I just had to be careful, because some of those bets can be a real mouthful.  For example, I might want to say, “I want a Superfecta in the 2nd race at Timonium, on 1,3, 4 and 6, and a Daily Double on 3 and 6.”

What might come out after a few beers could be: “I want a Superfla… I mean a Pluperfect… I mean an Infecta in the 2nd race at Imodium, on 13-46, and a Daily Mumble, er… Daily Trouble, I mean, On the Double for, um, who do I want again?  Hey, gambling’s fun!”

Anyway, it was a beautiful day for racing so I took my usual seat near the finish line.


When a state fair does product placement, they really do product placement.
What is this, the John Deere stakes?
I say, get those tractors out and race’em.

I noticed that whenever there’s a gelding racing, they make an announcement.  I just wonder if it bothers the horses.  I mean, I wouldn't want that broadcast about me…  I’d be like, “Dude!  Ix-nay on the Elding-gay!  I’m trying to work the mare stable, if you know what I mean.  Once you go horse, there’ll be no remorse!

You can also tell that some people don’t pay much attention to the program, insomuch that they don’t know how long the race is supposed to be.  For example, watch the people in front of me celebrate their horse crossing the finish line first.  Unfortunately, they all had to go around again.  There is no payout for your horse leading at the half-way point.


I’ll spare you the dirty details, but I did OK.  I bet all 9 races and had a winning ticket in 4 of them.  All told, I lost $14 on the day, from betting.  (I didn't hit any big payouts… $17 was my best.)  But add the $24 in parking, admission, pizza and a program, and I’m down $38.  But I’ll take that… it’s not a bad rate for 4 hours of fun.

Best of all, the hot water was back on by the time I got home.  I’d have hated to make Pinky hose me down in the parking lot, like they do with the horses.

15 comments:

  1. Nice POST WIIIILBUUUUR!!!!!

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    1. What else would you expect from an Italian Stallion?

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  2. Perfecta Bifecta Infecta...$38 for a day of fun is a deal. We spent that much on a five minute Big Wheel ride and didn't even see any horses.

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    1. That’s right! Riding the Big Wheel has a much higher cost per hour than my annual gambling excursion does! My experience cost me $9.00 per hour. Not sure I’d want to ride the Big Wheel for 4 hours though…

      And I got to bet money in a Prozacta!

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  3. Annndddd, for the second year in a row, we were both at the Fair on the same day, at the same time, without either of us being the wiser. We didn't bet on the ponies, though. What we DID do is sweat our patooties off in the blazing hot sun and generally feel like we were being roasted. It wasn't a very enjoyable day.

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    1. That’s why I brought the beer! Even in the shade, it was still pretty darned warm. At the end of the races, I was a soaking mess by the time I got back to the car.

      Judging from your comment on Thoughtsy’s blog, we passed the same “Fried Everything” stand. Too bad we didn’t cross paths, but I’m sure your boys are more interested in the rides and games than watching some horses run around a track every 20 minutes.

      I always try to go at the end of the Fair’s run, usually Labor Day, because then the jockeys have the longest history to analyze, which allows me to handicap better. As I always tell Pinky, “I have a reason for everything I do.”

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  4. You might like 4 hours in the VIP car with tv and a bar. You could watch horse races all afternoon and not sweat.

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  5. Misty was at the fair this weekend, too. Why did no one invite me?

    Actually it was so humid on Monday I refused to leave the house after breakfast.

    Did you try the Grilled Cheese?

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    1. I would never want a mother-to-be to go to fair on a hot summer day… If that “hot cow” smell doesn’t make you hurl, nothing will.

      I might have tried the grilled cheese, if it wasn’t fried. Why ruin a good thing?

      Yeah, I missed Misty at the fair for the second year in a row. I was at the track, so I guess that means we “run in different circles.” [snork!]

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  6. DEEP FRIED BUCKEYES. I know they're much better in theory than in practice, but I can't help wanting them every time I see them.

    The water was out in my building the other day, too! I went to the beach for the day. Life is hard.

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    1. Buckeyes are too perfect the way they are; there’s no need to fry them.

      I wonder why that place doesn’t do fried ice cream… or is that just the purveyance of Mexican restaurants?

      Yaaaaay Beach! I guess you’re pulling a Monty Python, and “Always Look(ing) on the Bright Side of Life.”

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  7. I am disappointed you did not write about trying fried stuff. I love me some fried chocolate-covered oreos.

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    1. My diet is bad enough without adding fried confections... Check out my friend Misty's blog... She tried the fried Berger Cookies. (Those are like Eatin Park cookies, only with 3 times the icing.)

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  8. That deep fried stand is why the terrorists hate us. We not only have all the food, but we also have to deep fry it all just to fuck with them. Deep fried Pop Tarts? Deep fried cream cheese? And As Seen on The View. I'll bet it was, Sherri Shepherd.

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    1. As if they don't already hate us enough for our bacon...

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