Six Questions

As I was rolling through my regular blog haunts, I stopped at one of my favorites, A Beer for the Shower.  I saw that they were featuring a couple of blogs that had participated in their contest to support the release of their new book, The Missing Link.  (I had seriously meant to do something, but then I saw something shiny and the thought never surfaced again.) 

Intrigued, I checked out the winning bloggers and finding them both extremely engaging and funny, I added them to my own blog roll.  One of them is A Tale of Two Continents, written by Ashley and Stephanie, two sisters who are, well, you can tell by the title.  Ashley is in Scotland and Stephanie is in the US.  These made a hilarious video for their Beer for the Shower submission. 

The other is Anne’s Attic, written by an Irish lass living here in the US.  My visiting Anne’s Attic drew her to visit me here, thus demonstrating again that the best blog networking is blog reading.  (As if to prove my point, the same thing happened with Ashley from Two Continents, literally as I was writing this post.)

A couple days later on Anne’s site, I saw that she had won a bloggers award and was answering some questions as part of the deal.  She then posed her own questions to several other favored blogs to answer.

Mine was not one of them, no doubt owing to the newness of our acquaintance, but that doesn’t mean I can’t steal pay homage to them by answering them myself.  Anything for a cheap post.

Geez, I should just put that saying on the business cards. 

1.  What celebrity would you most like to shag and why?

Man, that goes right to the Laminated List, which I’ve been meaning to update and turn into a post.

Director’s DVD Commentary: “The Laminated List” is based on the “Friends” episode where they could come up with a list of any 5 people in the world that, even if they were in a relationship themselves, they would be allowed to sleep with.  Ross laminated his and carried it in his wallet.  We were discussing this one day at lunch, circa 2002, and I decided to create my own, which ran to a Top 10, and about 20 more that I discussed as runners up.  In almost 10 years, there have been a lot of changes that I will one day discuss in full.

Right now I can think of a top 3 immediately: Julie Bowen and Sofia Vergara from “Modern Family,” and Tina Fey from SNL and “30 Rock.” 

Sofia Vergara at the Golden Globes, which she certainly has.

Sophia Vergara looks like an obvious pick with her Columbian bombshell build.  But what I like about her has nothing to do with the curves.  I love her hair, her smile, and her spirit.  When I’ve seen her on talk shows, she just lights the place up, much like she does in every scene she’s in on “Modern Family.”

Julie Bowen at the SAG Awards, which she totally doesn't.

Julie Bowen, I just find to be knockout beautiful.  I know she’s all high-strung as Claire on “Modern Family,” but even as a fussy mom, she’s still fiiiiiine.  And when I saw her interviewed on “Inside the Actor’s Studio,” she was hilarious in her own right.

Tina Fey from her Vanity Fair shoot.

But my winner has to be Tina Fey.  I’m sorry; I just think she’s indescribably yummy and far too attractive to be as considered as ‘unattractive’ as her character Liz Lemon is supposed to be.  But most importantly, she’s smart, clever, insightful and witty.  The other two are great at delivering funny lines from a funny script, but Tina Fey writes the lines and delivers them.  Also she may have the best eye-roll in the business.  I could do a whole post just about her.  (And I may, one day.)

2.  In the event of a zombie attack, what politician would you be willing to use as a human shield?

Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann come to mind, but I don’t think they have enough brain matter to sufficiently lure a zombie.  I give the nod to Rick Santorum, who is the antithesis of everything I value in a public servant.  He’s a guy that pushes his narrow religious ideology into government, which effectively persecutes anyone that’s not an evangelical Christian, but then tows the Republican Party line regarding propping up the richest of the rich at the expense of the poor.  (In other words, the opposite of what the Lord he claims to revere, would do.)

3.  Rate the survivability of at least 3 fellow bloggers if they are attacked by zombies.

Cassie from Sisters From Different Misters: would survive by outrunning any zombie in the vicinity and failing that, would just kick their ass.

Bryan and Brandon from the aforementioned A Beer for the Shower:  Hard to avoid the zombies when you’re drinking that much beer.  Plus, writers are notorious for poor cardio capability.  But armed with heavy beer mugs, I see them knocking zombies the eff out, solely from the irritation of having Happy Hour interrupted.

Mrs. Bachelor Girl: With baby in one hand and spike-heeled shoe in the other, coursing with mother-bear protectiveness, she would stab her way past any horde of zombies that came her way.  Same goes for Jessica of Leelafish, only I don’t see the spike heels; just blunt-force trauma.  Don’t mess with Louisiana chicks; they’ll feed you to the alligators.

Ginny of That’s Church would use her cute little fists to place a tweet, if under zombie attack. 10,000 Pittsburghers, displaced or otherwise, would rush to her defense. 

Kernut from Kernut the Blonde: She’d survive because she knows more about zombies than anyone else I know.  Plus she lives in an RV, so she can get out of Dodge at a moments notice, to seek a more zombie-free terrain.  And I bet she’s got a wicked shotgun in there too.

Cher and Rich from AskCherlock and Carpetbagger: Sorry, you guys, I don’t see you making it.  Much like Congressional Republicans, you can’t sit down and politely reason with zombies.  They’ll just eat your brains.

4.  If you could reanimate just one dead person from history, who would it be?

Despite the zombie tilt to these questions, I’m answering as if the reanimated would be normal and not trying to eat my brains.

There are many things to consider… family, leaders, celebrities… But it says “history,” so to me that means there has to be historical significance.  So as much as I’d like to hang out with my late grandparents, or a young cousin, my best friend, or my old dog, the first person that came to mind for me under the specified criteria is Stevie Ray Vaughan.  He was far too young when he passed and released too few albums.  I would love to hear what he would have put out over the last 20-odd years.  Who knows how many other budding blues guitarists might he have inspired?

5.  Would you take this person out to pub?

Hell yes, I’d take him to the pub.  Maybe I could get him to play a set.

6.  In the event of a nuclear holocaust, would you be willing to eat cockroaches to survive?

Cockroaches, yes.  Broccoli, no.  I have my standards.