OK, so I don’t have to burn my K-Mart Steelers gear. Our boys pulled out a wobbly 28-20 win over the Lions. I shall keep this ensemble in mind for the next Jilly’s game; probably November 23 at. Kansas City.
Here are some of the observations I made from my booth at Jilly’s. Yes, I said booth. The barstools were all filled up. I’m more bar-man than booth dude. (The latter of which sounds like someone saying my name after getting hit in the mouth.)
* I can’t believe Tomlin let Limas Sweed back on the field already. And how does “Plaxico-Part 2” repay his coach? By dropping a pass on 3rd down. Back to the bench with you, One-Four!
* James Harrison looked good on that first sack. I put in my notes: “92 is going to have a big game.” I wasn’t wrong. He was a one-man wrecking crew, ending up with 3 sacks and a force fumble. He was also pressuring when Culpepper committed an intentional grounding penalty. Have you ever noticed how Harrison looks when he has a free run at a quarterback? He runs with this barely controlled hysteria, like those zombies ran in “28 Days Later.”
* I bit the under-side of my tongue while eating chicken wings… hard. You could even hear the crunching sound. I hate when that happens. The wing sauce didn’t help.
* Seemed like every time we got something going, something else would go wrong. It wasn’t like the Lions were providing stiff defense… We seemed to pass and run at will. Rocket Rashard Mendenhall averaged over 5 yards per carry on the day. Offensive coordinator Arians should have used him a little more.
* I know people are complaining about all the throws in the 2nd half, but I’d still rather they keep the hammer down than slam into the line repeatedly. The Steelers are most effective when the mix run and pass. Too much of any one thing and trouble starts.
* Heath was on a rampage again. Did you see him storm in for a touchdown with that short pass. Then Hines did the same thing later. As I’ve said before, those 2 guys will kill themselves to get into the end zone. Hines sure didn’t look old turning that defender around on the reception, then pushing him back 5 yards on the run.
* Was extra fun watching the Ratbirds go down in flames today at the hands of the Bungles. The crying about the refs from the players and fans started almost immediately. Rat’s coach Harbaugh tried to snuff it out, and so has the sports media in the local paper. I will (grudgingly) give Harbaugh credit though… he seems to be a decent enough guy. Or maybe it just seems that way because he’s not this guy: All I gotta say is that the rules are the same for everyone. (Tom Brady excepted) If you don’t want the late hit and personal foul penalties, don’t hit anyone late or personally foul. You want to cry about how the refs have it in for you, maybe you shouldn’t be going around puffing out your chests and stomping around pretending to be the biggest, baddest defense, complain about the refs and throw their penalty flags in the stands. No shit they have it out for you. You asked for it, now go sign up for some Shut the Fuck Up therapy. Next!
* You want to make people nuts? Take notes at a bar. Everyone thinks you’re writing about them. A lifetime ago when I lived in Cleveland, after a long day’s work I’d retire to my favorite establishment for some wings and frosty beverages, and I would write in my journal. (journal = big yellow legal tablet… no such thing as laptops yet.) There was a TV up in the corner of the bar, way up high. So one day I was doing my thing… writing stuff down, looking up at the TV, writing stuff down, looking up at the TV.
Then this guy walks up and goes, “What are you doing? Did my wife send you?”
I was like, WTF?
He said, “I was standing over there, (points toward a spot under the TV) and you were looking at me, and writing stuff down, looking at me and writing stuff down…”
I calmed him down though, though it made me realize I’d be a lousy private eye. But I digress…
* I wrote in my notes in the 2nd quarter: “I don’t care how many fluke plays we give them… the Lions are overmatched. They can’t stop the run or pass. We’re going to win this.”
* Did anyone notice James Harrison do the Larry Foote stomp-out after his sack? I don’t know if the announcers mentioned it (the bar sound was on the Rats game) so I don’t know if they mentioned it. Later, Big Play Willie Gay did it too. As a tribute, I’m sure, to their former colleague now playing with the Lions.
* I was afraid the Lions were going to pull a Bengals maneuver and move the ball down the field and score with little time remaining. Happily, the Wizard Dick Lebeau dialed up a series of blitzes that sacked them 3 times in a row. Left them at 4th down and 34, at the 42 yard line. Ike batted the ball down to seal the game. Finally they remember how to play 4th quarter defense. Cue “victory” formation.
* Somehow, the Brownies managed to bumblefuck their way to a 6-3 victory over the Bills in Buffalo. I bet the Browns felt right at home there. After all, Buffalo is really just Cleveland, without the glitz.
* Note on a late game… And I thought the old Jets uniforms were hideous… did you see the old Broncos uniforms? Geez, they looked like flippin’ Oompa Loompas.
Their socks were striped vertically! I’m sorry, that’s just wrong. Call it a 15-yard penalty for offending the senses. Their legs looked like maroon and gold candy canes. I don’t know what kind of hashish fever dreams thought those up but I’m glad they’re gone.
I don’t have a graceful way to end this post either, so let me ask you this:
My crossword puzzle today had the following clue: Lyric to Disney song that precedes: “Darling it's better/down where it’s wetter.”
Is it wrong that I don’t have kids but I totally knew that was “Under the Sea” from The Little Mermaid? (and not dialog from some amateur porn?) Is it wrong that I have the song on my MP-3 player too? Gee, I hope not. I got “Kiss the Girl” on there too.