Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Poisoning Pigeons in the Park

Have you ever noticed that getting sick makes your mind do weird things?

I left work early today because I have a cold coming on and I wanted to try and stomp it out hard in the early stages, plus I don’t want to spread it around. It’s not the H1N1, or as I call it, the Hiney Virus… just a cold… the same one I’ve gotten all of my life. Starts as a tickle in the back of the throat, then a sore throat, then it moves to the sinuses and causes the drip, drip, drip that keeps me up all night. Once I’m a sneezing, dripping mess, it goes to the chest and settles in so that I get to enjoy coughing up chunks of lung for a couple of days.

When I get a cold in my throat, my voice goes down a couple of octaves and I get my Barry White voice. This is when I want to do all my incoming voicemail messages.

“Hello, you’ve reached the bluuuuuuuuuuz duuuuude. I’m all laid up in my crib so leave a message! Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep, babeh.”

I don’t get sick very often, but when I do, I’m pretty much of a weenie about it. I’ve lived alone for a lot of my adult life and being sick is hard when there’s no one to see how miserable you are. I always thought there should be some kind of Rent-a-Mother service for when you’re sick. You should be able to call a number and they send a nice lady over to bring you some soup, make you some tea, pat your head and go “awwwwwwww, poor thing,” and then go away!

OK where was I going with this? Oh yeah, being sick does strange things to your mind.

When I got home, I tried to take a nap, but really, I’ve already been up, showered, dressed and worked half a day… it’s hard to just drop off. I probably should have scheduled a conference call to help out.

So I’m laying there whacked on cold medicine when my mind starts wandering and I started thinking about my blog.

“I wonder if there’s a way to embed a music file… never seen one done like that without using another service… They do it with movies on YouTube… why can’t they do it with a music file? Y’know, they have music files on YouTube sometimes… I wonder how they do that… Hey, there’s that Windows Movie Maker function on my PC… I bet I could import a music file… Yeah… and then I could download random on-topic pictures to go with it…”

There I was, trying to sleep, but instead attending PC and Internet Basics 101 about 5 years after everyone else in the blogging world. I felt like the cavemen in the beginning of 2001 - A Space Odassey.

So in a fit of trying to change the mental subject, my mind went from my blog to That’s Church and Ginny’s endless war on pigeons. She’s been taking a lot of guff from a group of pigeon lovers lately.
Then suddenly, my mind melded the two subjects… Ginny’s Pigeon War crossed with my potential music editing ability so I now had to get up and see if I could work something out using the Tom Lehrer song “Poisoning Pigeons in the Park”.


Y’know? I’ll be damned if I didn’t figure out how to put together a primitive yet competent little clip in honor of my blogging inspiration.



Note: No pigeons were hurt on account of this exercise, however I was not too proud to scavenge what was already out there. Much like the pigeons.
PS. If none of this makes any sense, remember, I’m sick. Blame the NyQuil.

7 comments:

  1. Well, if you have roots in Pittsburgh, we claim you as one of our own!

    So sorry you're not feeling well, poor thing. See, if you were in the Burgh, we would all be bringing you chicken soup. No pigeons, just chicken. :)

    I always loved that song because it made me laugh. Please do take care.

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  2. We moved from Pittsburgh when I was 6, but I have never been anything but a Pittsburgher. The roots run deep there.

    And anyone who has even heard of Tom Lehrer is immediately a hit with me!

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  3. Real Rent-a-Mom here. Awwww, there there, poor Baby Boy. Howzat?!! Feel better now? I'm also sending chickensoop energies. Get ready...SPLAAAT! Ahhh, that's good. Warm and schmaltzy.
    Please feel better soon. Two weddings comin up need your presence in Pgh. I'm already hearing "Who Stole the Kishka".

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  4. Congrats on your IT achievement. I envy you. That's one I haven't sat down to master yet. Your clip was great... I loved it.

    Hope you're feeling better...

    This post rocked, though. You might be onto something with the NyQuil.

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  5. Thanks Tiff! And thanks for posting my link on your site! I really appreciate it... I need all the help I can get. Pittsburgh bloggers are the best!

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  6. I am incredibly honored and more than a little tingly over seeing so many dead pigeons in one youtube video. I particularly like the skilled assassin that managed to kill not two but THREE birds with one stone. Thanks so much.

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  7. I'm glad you liked it, Ginny. It must be gratifying to see your work being carried out into the world. And thanks so much for visiting! That make ME all tingly!

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