Thursday, March 1, 2012

Blunts, Bloggers, Pens and Hines 86

Let’s see what’s going on…

“Hey Bluz, what do you think about…

…the Blunt Amendment being defeated in the Senate?”  You’d think that something called the Blunt Amendment would have something to do with Snoop Dogg’s recreational proclivities, but in fact, it was an amendment to a transportation bill sponsored by Sen. Roy Blount (R-MO).  The goal was to provide a loophole so that any employer that didn’t agree with birth control would not have to provide it via insurance coverage for his employees.

The amendment, which would essentially gut the birth control mandate, was rejected in a vote that was way closer than it should have been.  The entire point of the mandate was to make sure that everyone had easy access to birth control.  It doesn’t work if there are thousands of loopholes and exceptions for every jagoff that wants to substitute his own morality for that of every one of his employees. 

The accommodation that was agreed to that exempted Catholic church organizations (to have insurance companies pick up the tab) seemed to me to cover the important bases, leaving everyone with most of what they wanted.  But leave it to the Republicans to want more, especially since accepting the accommodation would leave the President with the perception of a victory.  Can’t have that in an election year now, can we?

The fact that we’re still even arguing about birth control in 2012 is very, very disappointing.  I think the Republicans are going to regret stirring up this issue, come November.  (I know I’m going to do MY part…)

…the death of Andrew Breitbart?”   Good riddance.  OK, I don’t really wish death on anyone, but I won’t spend any time mourning the passing of this shyster. 

After the hatchet job he did on former US Dept. of Agriculture employee, Shirley Sherrod, I can’t believe anyone ever took him seriously.  You remember that debacle, right?  Breitbart took a video of Sherrod making a speech and reassembled some quotes to completely misrepresent what she was talking about, then pressured the White House to have her fired, (which they did, before doing any further investigation, to my utter disappointment).  Once the full video came out, it was clear that it was nothing but a mean-spirited and intentional smear job. 

I have no use for people like that.  People say enough stupid things on their own… they needn’t be manufactured from an outside hand.

This was also the guy that sponsored that bozo that made those ridiculous ACORN and Planned Parenthood “sting” videos.  The trap there is that they blow up the one case where they talk to someone that’s not bright enough to toss them out, and bury the film of the dozens of others that were.

People like this don’t warrant public attention or respect.  He didn’t get that from me when alive and he sure as hell won’t now.

…the Pens coming to Baltimore!”  Hot damn, I was excited when I saw the headline in the paper.  My Pittsburgh Penguins coming here??

Upon closer examination, I found that my joy was premature.  It wasn’t those Pens coming here; it was these:

I’m considerably less happy now.  But I do wonder what it is that it takes to become a Nib Meister.  (See the arrow, above.)  If I were a Nib Meister, I’d always be like,

Then I smile again because “Mrs. Nibbs” is a nickname I made up for my sister, many years ago, when I thought she was liable to become “a crazy old cat-lady down the street, named Mrs. Nibbs.”  Ever since, I’ve called her most every variation of the word… Nibbs, Nibbles, Nibblet, Nibboletta, Mrs. Nibblesworth…

Wait, now where was I?  Oh yeah, the Pens… the real Pens… Last night, while on hiatus from Sitcom Kelly’s Silence of the Lambs pit, Pens defenseman Kris Letang got rocked in the chops halfway through the first period and left the game. 

He already missed 21 games this year with a concussion, so it’s not really a good time to absorb another head shot.  But I think I know how to cure him.

All the Penguins have to do is bring him back to Pittsburgh and put him out on a platform downtown.  Once word gets out to the Penguins’ lady fans, they will gather around.  I’m betting the resulting cloud of estrogen will have amazing recuperative powers and Tanger will be back on his skates in no time.

(Late Note: Letang did indeed suffer another concussion and is on his way back to Pittsburgh.  Ladies, the rest is up to you.)

…the Steelers releasing Hines Ward?”  Aw crap.  I hate this.  I understand that it’s a business, the Steelers figure to have 4 receivers that will outperform Ward on the field and you can’t just hand out roster spots out of pure sentimentality.  But damn.

I was really hoping that Hines would just walk away into the sunset and retire, but he says he feels like he still has a couple more good years in him.  I’ll hate to see him in any other uniform, that’s for sure.  Oh please, Hines, if you have to keep playing, let it be with an NFC team, so I can root for you to have a good season with a clear conscience.  I couldn’t bear to see him with someone like the Browns…  Gah!

Hines was the epitome of what it means to be a Pittsburgh Steeler.  He played hard and he hit hard.  In fact, he redefined what it means to be a blocking wide receiver.  He didn’t just block, he knocked dudes out

That explains the total animosity that other teams felt toward him.  He was lighting up their tough-guys and smiling at them afterwards.  They were embarrassed because it was they who were supposed to be racking up the receivers.  And they hated even more that when they were able to get a good shot on him, he just got up smiling, thus depriving them of their kill-shot ego boost.  So what does any ego-driven athlete do when someone gets the best of them?  They claim he cheated or took cheap shots.

Bullshit.  Hines hit him straight on, right on the button.  Just watch the video.  So what if he might not have been looking?  Makes no difference. 

The league eventually came up with what is informally known as the Hines Ward Rule, which outlaws blindside hits downfield.  Also, the receivers have to wear little bells around their necks and are required to yell, “Look out, here I come,” whenever attempting a downfield block.

Hines Ward was a warrior.  He played the game with great spirit and all heart.  He wasn’t the tallest or fastest, but he was always open and rarely dropped a ball.  I still have his jersey and I plan to have it on when he’s inducted into the Hall of Fame, whenever that may be.


Facie said...

I don't have much to add since I am with you on almost everything. Is it odd, though, that I, a Republican, had no idea who that Andrew fella was? No clue. Of course I turn on Fox News (and CNN, for that matter) only once or twice a year any more.

I wore my Hines jersey today. The guy who came to our house to give us a furnace estimate noticed (how could he not) and asked me if I knew that Hines was released. That question annoyed me because I don't think even the biggest fanatic would wear a jersey on Thursday during the off season without good reason. Am I right?!

bluzdude said...

Perhaps you were keeping your head above the sleaze... (which is certainly a good idea!)

Dude underestimated you... who knows why... Women in Pittsburgh are the most rabid female football fans in the country. I thought everyone knew that.

Wish I could have rocked my 86 today. I anticipate wearing it for opening day, barring any unexpected developments.

CrackerLilo said...

I'm surprised the women of Pittsburgh haven't all gathered in a huge healing circle and started intensive prayer or spellcraft for Kris Letang (and let's get Sidney Crosby taken care of too, while we're at it).

Between Letang off the ice and the fact that we had to fight so hard to maintain the status quo, what a horrid day for women, even if we did manage to eke out a "win" against Blunt.

Judie said...

When are these assholes learn that you can't have it both ways??? If it is easier and cheaper to use birth control, less babies will be born to all those poor people who are currently on welfare after having lost their jobs. More babies, higher welfare checks, right? Right!! What woman actually WANTS to have more children than she can take care of??? Only some sick, misguided woman who has 20 children to satisfy the exploded ego of some moron who has brainwashed her, and has a reality t.v. show, and can AFFORD to take care of them from the big bucks they make on that show!!

Now, I don't want some freaking evangelical or Catholic priest blocking women from getting birth control pills from their insurance companies. This is America, for God's sake!!! These religious wingnuts are sick, bizarre, and archaic! Especially since the Catholics have essentially thrown little children into the hands of known pedophiles for more years than they would ever admit, told women who have been abused within inches of their lives that they should obey their husbands, no matter what, and have generally been sanctimonious prats, and a lot of those evangelicals actually play with poisonous snakes during church, and believe that the earth is only 6000 years old, and that being gay is a choice!

Sorry! I just lost it! I'll do better next time, I promise!

Your Hot Arizona Auntie

bluzdude said...

You know, I'm just amazed that no one thought of the estrogen circle earlier. We could have had Sid on the ice for the playoffs last year.

And you're right. The Blunt amendment may be done but there will be more to come. According to Pelosi, there are a couple more being formulated in the House right now. We must remain vigilant. The Republicans are going to want to attach it to some bill that has to pass, to make it tougher for the President to veto.

bluzdude said...

I think the only thing the upper reaches of the Republican party care about is going against whatever the Democrats want. If that means rallying against birth control, at the expense of increasing the number of abortions, so be it. They're like that little Scrat, at the beginning of the Ice Age movies, scurrying around to protect their nut. (Which in this case is the well being of the 1%.)

Deb K said...

Don't get me started about Rush Limbaugh's comments about Sandra Fluke, the articulate Georgetown Law School senior who was denied the opportunity to testify at the House hearing on the contraception issue a few weeks back. I'm really pleased to see that some advertisers have cancelled their ads with the show because money talks. Anyway, the Pres called her today and thanked her for what she is doing and told her to tell her parents that they should be proud of her. It made me verklempt, still does. I cannot believe given all of the pressing problems facing our country this is what some politicos choose to focus on. I suspect that the entire issue is going to backfire from a political standpoint. Maybe that's just wishful thinking. As usual, you're on the money when it comes to my views about current events.

bluzdude said...

Deb, I'm so pissed off about this Limbaugh bullshit... but I'm torn between doing a post to rip him a new one, or just ignoring his blatant plea for the attention that he so desperately wants.

Stay tuned... but thank you for encouraging my behavior.

Mary Ann said...

PLEASE IGNORE! As an asshole, he must love the smell of shit in which he has so aggressively stepped.

bluzdude said...

Too late... I just posted. I had a choice between taking the high road or getting an easy post. I'm not ashamed to admit that the 'easy post' wins every time.

Mary Ann said...

Easy Peasy. Avoid the sleazy. If your Grandma D. were here, b.c. warrior that she was, she would enjoy your response.
Imagine 1932 or so, mid Depression. Grandma D. was working. Grandpa D. was not. Priest/Confessor: "You're married, aren't you. Why don't you have any children yet? God gave you a body. Use it."
Grandma D.: "He gave me a mind too. I'm using IT."
A very dangerous stance since all contaceptive materials were illegal, "except for the cure and prevention of disease", until 1937.

bluzdude said...

Grandma was truly ahead of her time.

Contraception... illegal. Not frowned upon, not discouraged... illegal. People don't realize how fortunate we are right now and should do everything in their power NOT to return to such foolishness.

Mary Ann said...

"Like a criminal...". From the druggist at the back door in a brown paper bag. "They treated me like a criminal," Grandma D. remembered to the end of her life.
We will NEVER go back to the back door OR the back alley.

Jessica R. said...

I think that loophole push through may be an attempt to garner Catholic votes for the Republican party. I don't get it, I think the compromise was fantastic. Honestly, religious liberty aside, I don't understand how birth control coverage is a bad thing. Less unwanted, poor, abused children is a good thing!

bluzdude said...

You would think it was a measure tailor-made for Republicans that want to lower the number of abortions in this country. But the need to oppose Obama trumps all common sense.

The deal was made, most people are happy, leave it alone now.

Unapologetically Mundane said...

"Second annual"?! How did you guys go that long without a pen show?

Flying Junior said...

How dare you impune the reputation of a fictional character such as Jabba the Hut with your vile and uninformed opinion-making?

What do you know of Jabba's fictional and therefore completely open species? Perhaps they are pre-disposed to problems with weight? Can you seriously justify a comparison to the prince of consumption and self-worship? Jabba was simply an afflicted gangster of an alien species. A person not without personal worth, as evidenced by his friendship with Solo.

Say what you will. I won't be back. To base your whole blog against Christianity is just totally stupid. Darwin never espoused atheism that I know of.

fuck off

bluzdude said...

It’s been tough. I’ve been going through pen withdrawal. I’ve been force to troll the street corners going, “Anybody got a Mont Blanc?”

Sounds like a case of… ahem… Pens Envy.

bluzdude said...

"How should we fuck off, O Lord?"

Wow, look at you, commenting on a post that's yet to come. The Rush/Jabba post is the next one. Perhaps your warp drive is out of alignment.

But you're right, I never took into consideration any of the inherited physical limitations of the Hutts. They can't help that they look like sea slugs. I stand corrected.

Now if only I can get one of them to cast the Rushster into the Pit of Sarlac.

As far as I know, Darwin was not against Christianity, just creationism as described in the Bible. And if you had read more that a page or two of this blog, you'd know that I'm not against Christianity either... I'm against all religions, as an unnecessary middle step. But to each his own.

Mary Ann said...

""...I for one must be content to remain an agnostic." Charles Darwin, LIFE AND LETTERS
Darwin refused to comment or argue on religion. Open minded, scientific inquiry was his lifelong committment.

Jessica R. said...

Oooo Bluz, you know you've made it big in the blogging world when you start getting trolls! Congrats!

bluzdude said...

LOL... you know, this one had me puzzled. The first part is like a perfect satiric answer that I, myself, might have written. But then with the second paragraph, you have to wonder... is this a satirist that's completely committed? Or is it just another dude that's batshit crazy?