A Fair Deal

Hope everyone had a good Labor Day.  Mine wasn't without challenges.  For example, I woke up to find that my building’s hot water heater blew up.  There was no hot water, or cold water, for that matter.  I discovered that fact when after my morning pee, the toilet tank didn't refill after I flushed.

Normally, that wouldn't have been too big a deal, but because I had the day off, I could see a problem on the horizon.  Yesterday, I was out at a picnic, at which I ate All the Food.  That meant something had to give.  I tweeted my predicament:

Aw geez. Water's out in the building and I have a big one brewing. Happy Labor Day.
— bluzdude (@DarwinfishBluz) September 2, 2013

Luckily, I could hear the workmen talking, and one of them said the cold water was back on, (as they were working on installing a new hot water heater).  So, short term; problem solved.

Today was my day to go to the Maryland State Fair and bet the races.  I do this every year.  I enjoy doing the race analysis from the program and trying to pick winners.  Temps were supposed to reach around 90 today, so I knew it was going to be a warm one.  Seems a shower would have been wasted anyway, so I just went “as is.”  I figured, if anyone caught an overly ripe smell from my vicinity, I could just blame it on the cows.

They still have that Fried Everything stand right outside the cow barns.

This year, I thing the Fried Grilled Cheese Sandwich is new.  I can just hear what the parents are telling their kids now… “Back in my day, all they had were fried Snickers and Twinkies.”

While I’m usually a creature of habit, (as you know), this time I did something different… I brought a 6-pack with me.  (You’re allowed to bring beer and drinks into the fairgrounds.)  I’ve never done it before, but with the temps up, I figured it might help.

I just had to be careful, because some of those bets can be a real mouthful.  For example, I might want to say, “I want a Superfecta in the 2^nd race at Timonium, on 1,3, 4 and 6, and a Daily Double on 3 and 6.”

What might come out after a few beers could be: “I want a Superfla… I mean a Pluperfect… I mean an Infecta in the 2^nd race at Imodium, on 13-46, and a Daily Mumble, er… Daily Trouble, I mean, On the Double for, um, who do I want again?  Hey, gambling’s fun!”

Anyway, it was a beautiful day for racing so I took my usual seat near the finish line.

When a state fair does product placement, they really do product placement.

What is this, the John Deere stakes?

I say, get those tractors out and race’em.

I noticed that whenever there’s a gelding racing, they make an announcement.  I just wonder if it bothers the horses.  I mean, I wouldn't want that broadcast about me…  I’d be like, “Dude!  Ix-nay on the Elding-gay!  I’m trying to work the mare stable, if you know what I mean.  Once you go horse, there’ll be no remorse!”

You can also tell that some people don’t pay much attention to the program, insomuch that they don’t know how long the race is supposed to be.  For example, watch the people in front of me celebrate their horse crossing the finish line first.  Unfortunately, they all had to go around again.  There is no payout for your horse leading at the half-way point.

I’ll spare you the dirty details, but I did OK.  I bet all 9 races and had a winning ticket in 4 of them.  All told, I lost $14 on the day, from betting.  (I didn't hit any big payouts… $17 was my best.)  But add the $24 in parking, admission, pizza and a program, and I’m down $38.  But I’ll take that… it’s not a bad rate for 4 hours of fun.

Best of all, the hot water was back on by the time I got home.  I’d have hated to make Pinky hose me down in the parking lot, like they do with the horses.