I just got back from an employee event at Fogo de Chao, so excuse me if none of this makes sense. I blame it on the meat coma.
The hockey season is almost upon us, and I can’t wait, especially because the Steelers’ season is beginning so ominously. But pre-season hockey games have started; in fact, they actually had one here in Baltimore.
The Washington Capitals played the Boston Bruins downtown at the aging Baltimore Arena, before a half-full house of 7634.
Granted, it was only pre-season, and the Arena is badly antiquated, but it goes to show the limited appeal of the Capitals. They play a mere thirty-something miles away, but could barely draw breath here in Baltimore.
I’m pretty sure that the Penguins could play a pickup game in Youngstown, and pack the house.
Good News for Those of us with More Chins than a Chinese Phone Book
A company called Kythera Biopharmaceuticals saw their stock surge this week after reporting they have an effective cure for double chins.
They've devised a drug that when injected into the neck six times over four weeks, destroys fat cells while leaving other tissue unaffected. I believe this will be received like the best news from the pharmaceutical industry since boner pills.
As far as I’m concerned, I’m all in. My meat and beer-laden diet is slowly removing any semblance of a jaw line. When I look in the mirror, all I see is this…
Of course, with a mug like this, the chin is the least of my worries.
Not Exactly the Kind of Crocs you want to See Under the Bed
Holy shit!!!! I knew it!!! All these years I've been keeping my feet inside the bed and under the covers have been validated. There really ARE alligators under the bed.
A guy staying in a hotel in Zimbabwe woke up to find a real live crocodile hanging out under his bed. I shit you not.
I've always said that the real sub-bed perils for children are not boogiemen, monsters or even killer clown dolls. Alligators are totally built to fit in the small confines under a bed.
Granted, I’m highly unlikely to spend any time in the hotels of Zimbabwe, but I think I’ll be checking under my hotel beds in the future. I mean, how hard could it be for an alligator to climb out of a sewer, sneak past the concierge, creep onto the elevator and scoot under my bed on the 18th floor at the Hilton? I’m not taking any chance.
And here I always thought the worst thing I’d step on in the morning would be a used Kleenex.