Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The Scroties

Someone with more time on their hands that I should come up with some awards for the biggest balls exhibited under duress.  I humbly submit that they should be called, “The Scroties.”

I started thinking about this the other night after watching the Pens game against the New Jersey Devils.  The game was a wipeout; the Devils outplayed the Pens all over the ice, but what really made an impression on me was in the 2nd period seeing Jordan Staal take an errant puck right between the eyes.  He hit the ice like a shot and proceeded to writhe and pour copious amounts of blood all over the ice.  It was painful even to watch.  When it’s a hockey player twitching like that, you know it’s bad.

If you missed the game, you can see the sequence here:


I know things like this are part of the game, but you watch these kids play game after game, year after year and it almost seems like you know them.  Then to see one of your boys get hurt like that… Yow…

So imagine my surprise to see that for the start of the 3rd period, here comes Jordan Staal back on the ice, wearing a full face shield.

The balls on this kid… and not just on Jordy.  I don’t think he’s the only hockey player that would have come back.  Those guys are just beyond tough and they have my total admiration.  “Major League 2” propaganda aside, baseball players aren’t even in the same league hockey players.

Check out the locker room interview with Staal… even his teammates were asking him questions about it:


I love how his teammate teased him about looking like Colby Armstrong, who was famous for his enormous honker.  But did you hear that?  “I felt like my nose was off, and it wasn’t a good feeling” he said.  
What, does he think he’s the Black Knight from Holy Grail?


“You’re arm’s off.”  “No it isn’t!”

So, to get the, er, ball rolling, I hereby present Jordan Staal as the inaugural winner of Darwinfish 2’s “Scrotie Award!”  You may claim your prize:

Kudos to Seth and his Empty Netters blog on Postgazette.com, for finding the videos and Staal picture.

6 comments:

  1. Or, the Testes. You've got to create some kind of trophy for this. There can be an award show... people in gowns and tuxes on the red carpet... Russell Crowe can host. Classic.

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  2. I was thinking the trophy was in the last picture, being used as a door-knocker.

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  3. I don't know how I missed this, it's plain to see in the photo of Jordy, but he obviously is a good choice for this particular award because he can be seen wearing gloves and a helmet that are visibly endorsed by the living embodiment of giant, hairy, swinging balls himself, Jack freakin' Bauer!

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  4. Bluz, you need what these good old boy rednecks down here dress up their '87 F-150s with: http://bumpernuts.com/ One disgruntled Baptist county official tried to have them outlawed, but I don't think he had the ass behind him (in a manner of speaking) to get the ordinance passed.

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  5. I'm immediately in favor of anything a Baptist preacher wants banned.

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