Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Odd Bits - Football Aftermath Edition

It’s always a good Monday at work after the Steelers win, because usually the only time I hear from Ravens fans is when the Steelers lose.  Then they’re out like the carrion-eaters they are.

But I got on the elevator on Monday as one of my fellow members of our secret Steelers alliance, the Steel Citi Underground, came on talking football with another employee.  She stood right in front of me so I said, “Don’t worry, I’ve got your back.”

One of the Ratties fans said, “You know, you’re still outnumbered.”

To which I answered, “Not in Super Bowls,” eliciting “Ooooooooohs” from the rest of the riders.

Wow”, she said, “Right for the jugular.”

You gotta play tough.

It’s been funny how sensitive about all the Jet’s smack-talk the Ravens are.  Before the big Monday Night Football game between the Rats and the Jets, the Jets’ coach (and former Rats coach) Rex Ryan was doing a lot of talking, and the Rats players and fans went ape-shit.

I don’t think it was because of what was said… I think it was because it’s their job to flap their gums and beat their chests.  When someone else does it, it’s considered intellectual property theft.

In the actual game, the Ratbirds were the beneficiaries of 14 NY penalties, 6 of which gave them first downs when the Jets had held them on 3rd down. 

For years around here, Ravens players, coaches and the media have been peddling these conspiracy theories that the league and the refs are out to get them.  (As opposed to simply being a sloppy, undisciplined team that can’t keep their egos in check…)  I think we just got this cleared up.  It’s not the Ratbirds that the refs have it out for… it’s Rex Ryan.  Now that he’s with the Jets, the refs are unjustly stealing the games from him!

Electile Disfunction
I went to vote in the Maryland primary election today.  Ya.  Hoo.

I probably vote in the lamest precinct anywhere.  Every time, I always get the volunteer that seems like she’s never been there before.  And the worst part is that they don’t give out stickers that say “I Voted.”  Harrumph!  That’s like going to give blood, because it’s the right thing to do, then you don’t get your juice and cookie.

I was lucky this time that there was no line at all, probably because this is not exactly a “glamour” election.  When I showed up, there weren’t many people milling about out front.  I hate that… I’m just trying to get in and out, then get to work.  But first I have to dodge a gauntlet of people trying to press their candidate’s flyers into my hand.

I wonder if that really works… like people were just going to show up and push some buttons, but at the last minute, they’re all, “Ooooh, 4-color tri-fold brochureI’m voting for him!” 

Anyway, this morning, the guy running for Baltimore City District Attorney was out front getting interviewed, so the volunteers were watching the “showbiz” while I was able to slink around behind everyone.  Not to worry, I made sure not to scratch anything as I moseyed by.

More Search For Reality
The Indian Aunties phenomenon just won’t quit.

I had the following searches show up this weekend (includes home country):

India: Hot Indian Aunties
Saudi Arabia: Indian Aunties Photo
Dubai: South Indian Hot Aunties

Maybe I should just call my blog “Hot Indian Aunties”, by Indian Uncle Bluz

Albania: Porno Vidio Bubble Butts.  I have NO idea how that search landed here.  I don’t think I’ve ever used the phrase “bubble butt.”  Maybe it was truncated from Hot Indian Auntie Bubble Butts.

Another search from India landed on my picture titled Dude and Dog.  (the one of StillaDog and me at the Orioles game.)  I can’t imagine how that one got here either, unless it was a search for pics of dudes and dogs… er… frolicking.

We may be many things, but this Dude and that Dog do not frolick.

Lastly, for the last week or two, I’ve been getting a whole bunch of searches for pictures of Pennywise the (evil) clown, from Steven King’s “It”.

I ran that back in March of 2009 when I posted the tragically under-read All Time Favorite Movie Villains post.  (That was Part One: Monsters.  Part Two (Comic and Character Villains) is right here.)  I have no idea why all of a sudden Pennywise has become a big search item.  Most of the searches come from European countries.  Maybe it’s just been on HBO: NATO or something.  I also get a lot of searches for the “Cloverfield” monster, in the same post, but not nearly as many.

Damned clowns… always leaving white greasepaint marks on the mirror and their red noses laying around.

You know why cannibals don’t eat clowns?

They taste funny.

There, for the ending… the only clean joke I know.

15 comments:

  1. I can just see you, standing in the elevator, with your low voice and tallness saying, "Yah, the Steelers pretty much rock regardless of the QB, and you guys have no hope except for the other team blowing it and basically handing it to you. Yup. Refs are really out to get you."

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  2. Cassie, I NEVER start shit. But when someone else brings it, I do my best to swat their shit down, with prejudice.

    But this is important... I always give objective evaluation, (to the degree I'm capable.) I fully admit that the Rats are a good team this year. Barring injuries, they'll probably win the division. The Steelers, I don't think will... they were so inconsistent last year... I don't see much difference now. I sure HOPE it's different, but I see them as coming in 2nd in the division.

    Now, a Rats fan will NEVER admit when the Steelers are better... at least not I've ever met. To a Rats fan, they've never been beaten. Oh, the they've beaten THEMSELVES, and the refs have stolen some games, but they've never been beaten.

    That's the attitude that makes me hate the Ratties and their Rattie fans, so much.

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  3. The only things I know about the Pittsburgh Steelers are that my grandfather loved them (mostly because hometown boy Terry Bradshaw used to play for them and his parents were in my grandparents' bridge club) and they're my favorite priest's number-one team (he told me once that if he ever gets a tattoo, it'll be a Steelers helmet on his bicep). And you like them.

    And that's good enough for me. Consider me a Steelers fan, too!

    (Unless they play the Saints, and then I gotta represent. You understand.)

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  4. Every fall I remember how much I like football season. I was glad the Jets lost. And I was especially glad Indy lost.

    The refs....well, that will never change. Sometimes they suck, sometimes they don't. At least they can review stuff now.

    Funny clown joke. And I hate clowns.

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  5. Nothing will scare me away from your site quicker than an evil clown photo. I'm just saying.

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  6. Is it time for Monday Night Football aready? Where did the summer go!

    The last time I voted, my son and I were the only two people in the place! I asked if they had been busy, and was told, "Not really." SAD!

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  7. 49 yards rushing... 3 turnovers... Ravens football - catch it! (Or, maybe try to avoid stepping in it!)

    I think you should get this patch and wear it with pride.

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  8. Plus, you can tell all those Ray Rice fans that my fantasy team says, "Thanks for nothing!"

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  9. Today, our neighbor from Tennessee came over to commiserate with us about the Steelers' loss???!!! Talk about gall. And he said it with a laugh.
    We invited him over for Sunday's game. We will, of course, fill him full of brats, beer, big meat bologna, then throw him in the pool.

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  10. Dude Dogs is a hot dog stand in Hawaii. Their famous advertising slogan is "Home of the 10 incher." Stands to reason you would end up with a picture of Bluz & Stilladog if searching for a 10 incher!! Check it out for yourself if you don't believe me.

    And in case you didn't hear the news, the Ravens are going to win the next 60 Super Bowls in a row. They just scrimmaged a team that included Darth Vader, King Kong, Godzilla, Frankenstein, Lex Luther, Freddie Kreuger, Hanibal Lechter, Dick Butkus and Bubba Smith, coached by Mike Ditka, and beat them 76-0. At least that what the folks out in Baltimore County are saying.

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  11. Bachelor Girl,
    There have been supporters for a lot less reasons.

    In fact, during the first meeting of our clandestine Steelers group at work, we went around the table saying how we got to be fans. One guy, from North Carolina had no Pittsburgh ties, but back in the day, he got one of those vibrating-board football games. The teams were the Cowboys and the Steelers. His brother took the Cowboys and he took the Steelers. He’s been a Steelers fan ever since.

    On behalf of the Steeler Nation, I’ll gladly accept your petition to be a Steeler fan, and will even grant you a special dispensation to root for the Saints over the Steelers when they play on 10/31. I would never dare to interfere in your ability to represent.

    Guy,
    Considering where you are, I can understand the Jets antipathy. And I’m always glad when Indy loses.

    Clowns… are an abomination. They get to walk around in disguise, in broad daylight. You just know they’re up to something. And yet, parents actually PAY them to entertain at kids’ parties. I bet every crappy think a kid does, it was probably a clown that told him to do it.

    I apologize, Jessica. I will show more restraint in the future. Maybe include a black bar across the eyes…

    Judie,
    That is sad indeed.

    I love voting. I love feeling like I’ve participated in our country’s government, even though it doesn’t seem to add up to squat.

    The only times I’ve missed voting have been when I’ve just moved to a new town and I didn’t feel I knew enough about local politics to make an educated choice. But I’d have my ass in there by the next cycle.

    Oh yeah, then there was the 2004 Presidential election where they said I wasn’t registered any more, despite the registration card I had in my hand. Long story…

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  12. Bagger,
    10-9 game… I hope everyone bet the ‘under’.

    I couldn’t possibly wear that patch… (that says “Indians”) I have to avoid even the accidental appearance of support for Cleveland sports.

    Ray Rice… he may do well in later games… it’s tough with a team that has 3 backs. But RR can both run AND catch… more chance for yards.

    Not that I’D pick him though. No Ratbirds… ever.

    PS. congratulations for providing my 10,000th hit. Hoopla to follow.

    Mary Ann,
    The pool or the pond? The pond would be good for him.

    Maybe this is the day for Dad to try the Bacon and Cheese Turtle Burgers!

    Dog,
    That’s the word in the City too. They’re already expanding the parade route they laid out in pre-season.

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  13. This secret alliance almost seems cool enough to make me want to be a football fan.

    Also, sounds like you should just make an ads-supported Indian Aunties blog. Your millions of hits should pay for your own URL at the very least.

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  14. I've always enjoyed aligning with the counter-culture. My life as a bur under the saddle...

    The Indian Aunties site idea is intriguing... but then it sounds like a lot of work. (Like finding out what the hell the deal is...)

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  15. Nobody equaled them in the 70's. Oh yeah!

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