Party Like It's 1979

Thus far, it’s been a grand Thanksgiving Weekend.  My parents were in town from Florida so we all had Thanksgiving dinner at my brother’s.  Big news of the week: Nephew Sammy (5) farted in Sunday School.

Bluz Mother: Tell Uncle Bluz what you did in Sunday School.

Sammy:  I busted one.

Bluz:  What did the other kids say?

Sammy:  Niiiiice.

Personally, I can’t think of a better place for a 5-year old to bust one.  Judging from his customary reactions to his own bodily emissions, he probably did a touchdown dance afterwards.  I’m sure they’ll be keeping an eye on that one for a while.

Yesterday, not only did Ohio State beat hated rival Michigan (with my brother and dad in attendance), the Penguins also won, so that sets up another perfect Monday, where the Buckeye, the Penguins and the Steelers all win, if indeed the Steelers get by Buffalo this afternoon.  More on that later.

Party Tahn

But so far, the weekend highlight was Sitcom Kelly’s party.  She moved into a new house over a year ago but this was still the first time I’d been able to get out to see the place.  You may recall that she’d scheduled some parties last February, both of which coincided with massive snowstorms, leaving her party guests limited to her and her cats.  We made this into an episode idea for our sitcom, where as she’s determined to have the party at all costs, we see her sitting in the living room surrounded by her cats, spooning ziti right out of the pan.  After that there is Wii Bowling, were she plays against Pens defenseman Kris Letang, who is still in her basement Pit.

Sitcom Kelly: It’s your turn.  I’ll bowl for you…  You got a strike.

So, with no snowstorms, hurricanes, hail, locusts or power grid blackouts on the horizon, she was finally able to throw the party she’s been planning all this time.

I was most interested to see how the Pride of Johnstown PA would be able to settle into an actual house, here in the year 2010.  I made sure I showed up early (meaning right on time) so that I’d have a chance to take some pictures without a lot of commotion.

Right off the bat, I found something photo-worthy:

One bowl away from Crazy Cat Lady status.

My first order of business was to locate the basement; Ground Zero for kidnapped Pittsburgh athletes.  To my disappointment, she doesn’t actually have The Pit dug yet.  But here’s what she does have:

She’s going to have her work cut out for her, not just moving all the junk, but getting through the concrete floor.

There was so much going on down there… There was the room-mate’s treadmill that looked like the bridge of a small yacht.  The giant exercise ball that still has the brand new sheen on it… The Crock Pot, which one of the party guests said should actually be referred to as a Slow Cooker, because only white trash has Crock Pots.  Naturally, my first impulse was to go buy a Crock Pot, just to thumb my nose at the snooty types that would make such judgments.

I actually liked the “Johnstown” print on the wall; it sort of functioned as a headline for the whole room.

Back upstairs, I noticed that she had a room divider cordoning off one corner of the dining room.  Naturally, I had to see what was behind it.  I was not disappointed.

Who else not only has a flat screen TV with DirectTV and a CD player, but also an actual record player (not pictured) and an 8-Track player?  Maybe it really IS 1979.

The next thing I had to do was verify that the “snacks” were not, in fact, cat food.

False alarm, it was just cinnamon dusted trail mix.  (It was good, too!)

Lastly, I looked forward to see the famous ziti come out of the oven.

Letang, Matt Bahr, and Sidney Crosby will be pleased with their special entrée.

So the party went along fine.  I got to meet Sitcom Mom, Sitcom Sister, and Sitcom Brother-in-Law.  All were very nice and had the added bonus of explaining a great deal about Sitcom Kelly.  Apple… Tree… Not far.

Apparently, they’ve actually read about Sitcom Kelly’s exploits as documented here, which cracks me up.  And they’ve seen the Sitcom Episode Idea document as well.  I’m sure they wonder where they’ve went wrong.

All seemed happy that I’ve recently seen fit to add “Sitcom Kelly” as blog label, although none are as happy as Sitcom Kelly herself.  I’ve been trying to get her to start her own blog for a while now, but the prospects are looking grim.  She’s much happier having me write about her unusual life instead.  It’s much less trouble for her this way, and leaves her with more time to plan the next kidnapping.

Sitcom Mom also gave me some more insight about one of the stories I’ve mentioned before.  Remember when I wrote about how a young Sitcom Kelly had a thing for Steelers kicker Matt Bahr, and even hand-made a sign for him?  Sitcom Mom told me she actually had the opportunity to wave it in front of his face, with her phone number written on it!  No word on whether it was written in glitter.

Matty, apparently, didn’t bite.  He said she should keep it, but he would sign it for her.  Little did he know how close he came to spending the rest of his life clawing at sheer dirt walls.

It wasn’t until most everyone left that Sitcom Kelly let the cats out of the bedroom.  They seemed very happy to attend and were on their best behavior.

Sammy (left) and Nigel.  These two are brothers.  I swear, the way they’re perched on those chairs like they were guests of honor, if we had party hats for them, it would have been a scene right out of the Sitcom.

This is Bo, the perpetual odd cat out.

Poor Bo has been walking with a limp lately.  I suggested that he only does that when people are around.  In fact, I likened it to the end of The Usual Suspects, where once the guy is out of sight from the police station, the limp he’s had throughout the entire movie gradually disappears and you realize he’s been the Bad Guy all along.  Naturally, I suggested that the cat’s name isn’t even Bo, it’s Keyser Pusé.

OK, I’m not sure if that’s really funny, but Sitcom Kelly and I laughed at that for 5 solid minutes last night.  But then we were both drunk.  Oh, and I apologize for ruining The Usual Suspects, if you’ve never seen it.  (Serves you right, if you haven’t.  Movie freakin’ rocked.)

The Mojo Boogie

OK, Steelers/Bills game today… Steelers are at Buffalo so they’ll be wearing white.  Last time the Steelers wore white AND I watched the game at home (against the Bengals), I wore my Troy Polamalu #43, with white Steelers sweats and a white long-sleeve tee underneath, and they won. 

I admit I’m bucking my “different thing every game” approach, but I’m right out of other white jerseys where we haven’t already lost when I was wearing them.  The Steelers are favorites over the Bills, so this is my way of engineering the mojo back into a usable pattern.  We’ll see what happens.

This is the same picture I used for the Bengals game, so Judie, you can feel comfortable that the socks in this picture are 3 wearings cleaner than what I’m actually wearing today.

To make up for working on Black Friday, I’m off tomorrow, so I’ll see you crazy kids around!