Networking

It’s so sad that it’s gotten to the point that when I get up in the morning, I judge how good my day is going to be by what’s on TV that night.  So I take the network scheduling very seriously.

Last week there was a blurb in the paper running down the expectations for the next season.  I was going to post on it then, but got sidetracked by all the prank stories. 

For each network, the blurb spelled out the forecast for each network’s shows.

ABC

Renewed: Modern Family, Cougar Town, The Middle

Likely to Live: The Bachelor, Brothers & Sisters, Castle, Dancing With The Stars, Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice

On the Bubble: Better Off Ted, The Deep End, Flash Forward, The Forgotten, Scrubs, V

Canceled: Ugly Betty

Bluz’ Views:  Modern Family and Cougar Town are 2 of the funniest shows on right now.  I usually get 2 or 3 belly laughs out of each.  The writing is especially crisp on Modern Family.  I’m surprised Cougar Town caught on… it’s pretty quirky.  Of course it does have the lovely Courteney Cox Arquette.

I don’t watch any of the Likely to Live shows, although I’ve watched Dancing With the Stars before this season.  I think it’s always on opposite something else I watch, but I’m generally in favor of lots of hot dancer chicks in tight, revealing outfits.

The Bubble shows hurt… I love Flash Forward and V, the former because it’s a fascinating idea to examine what would happen if everyone suddenly became aware of some of what awaits them in the future.  The latter, I enjoy because there are sneaky alien monsters playing opposite Elizabeth Mitchell, formerly “Juliet” on Lost, who is just yummy. 

I was devastated when her character died in last season’s finale of Lost, but it’s not like you couldn’t see it coming.  Characters named “Juliet” do not get to live happily ever after.  

I just read today that V and Flash Forward were both sinking in the ratings; so unfortunately I think this bubble has burst.  Networks don’t keep expensive hour-long dramas on the schedule if they aren’t earning.

CBS

Renewed: How I Met Your Mother, The Good Wife, NCIS: Los Angeles, The Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men, Undercover Boss, The Amazing Race, Survivor.

Likely to Live: Criminal Minds, CSI, The Mentalist.

On the Bubble: Accidentally On Purpose, Cold Case, Ghost Whisperer, Medium, Old Christine, Numb3rs.

Cancelled: Three Rivers

Bluz’ Views: Amazing Race and Survivor are shoe-ins and I’m glad.  I rarely miss either.  And Survivor looks amazing in Hi Def.  I’m also glad The Good Wife is renewed.  Julianna Margulies is also yummy and the show is engaging.

I’ve liked her ever since she was on ER.

Two and a Half Men may be on, or may not, depending on Charlie Sheen’s contract negotiations.  Personally, I think his current 800K per show ought to be enough to keep him in hookers and blow, but who am I to say enough is enough?  Love the show though, juvenile as it is, but I usually watch it in syndication, so I don’t give a rip if it’s picked up again.

Of the Likely to Live shows, I watch The Mentalist.  I like the lead character for the same reasons I like Hannibal Lechter… he just seems so much more observant and intuitive than everyone else.  And the Mentalist only chews scenery, not livers with fava beans.

On the Bubble shows… I sincerely hope Ghost Whisperer comes back but the network may not have enough room to accommodate Jennifer Love Hewitt AND her enormous batwing eyelashes.

On the bright side, if the show is cancelled, David Conrad may be home in Pittsburgh more often, so he can bum rides off of Ginny Montanez, nee PittGirl.

I always mean to watch Cold Case, because the star, Kathryn Morris, is also devastatingly yummy.  But it’s on after football on Sunday nights and gets bounced around a lot, so I’m usually watching something else.  I hope she lands in another show.

I only saw Three Rivers once… The show was OK, but considering it was about a hospital set in Pittsburgh, I was dismayed that not a single person had a yinzer* accent.  What’s up with that?  You set a show in Boston, people sound like the Kennedys.  Set a show in New York, they all sound like DeNiro.  But set a show (or a movie… I’m looking at YOU, “Striking Distance” and “Sudden Death”) in Pittsburgh there’s nary a gumband** in sight.  So good riddance to the pretend Pittsburgh show.

NBC

Renewed: Parks and Recreation, Friday Night Lights, Law & Order, 30 Rock, Community, The Office.

Likely to Live: Biggest Loser, Law & Order SVU.

On the Bubble: Celebrity Apprentice, Chuck, Heroes, Trauma.

Bluz’ Views: Thank God 30 Rock is coming back.  It’s been the smartest, snappiest, hippest sitcom on TV for the last 3 years.  And Tina Fey, whose writing and creativity I so much admire, is also yummy.

It’s also a good thing that at least one Law & Order is coming back, or my dad won’t know what to do with himself during evenings when there are no sports on.

The Bubble items are killing me.  OK, I can live without The Donald and his dimwit celebrity apprentices.  But the others… say it ain’t so. 

Chuck?  Love it.  Funny, good action, hot chicks and endearing characters.

Heroes?  It’s fading but still engaging.

Trauma?  It was the heir to ER’s action, but with more helicopters and a much nicer looking backdrop.  (San Francisco, which looks great behind all the aerial helicopter shots.)

Mercy?  I love this show, the heir to ER’s emotional wallop.  Plus it features an actress named Taylor Schilling:

I’m starting to wonder if one can O.D. on yumminess. 

Fox

Renewed: Glee, Fringe, Bones, American Dad, The Cleveland Show, (no, Dad, it’s not about the Browns), Family Guy, The Simpsons.

Likely to Live: American Idol, House

On the Bubble: Brothers, Human Target, Lie to Me, Til Death

Canceled: Dollhouse, Past Life, and 24.  Wait, what??  24????

Bluz' Views: Sure, just take away my reason for getting out of bed on Monday mornings.  At least they’re going to make a 24 movie, tentatively titled “2 and a Half,” I believe.  OK, maybe not, but what else are the going to call it?  Something lame like “24-The Movie”?

I also wish Dollhouse could have stuck around, but that cancellation came months ago. 

It’s funny how most of the shows renewed on Fox feature cartoon characters.  Much like their “news” department.  Whooooo!

But who are they kidding about American Idol not being safe?  Like they’re going to get rid of that cash cow…  Unless Simon stabs the other judges in the head and napalms the set, it’ll be fine. 

Not that I care… If I want to listen to bad singing, I’ll turn down the stereo in my car.

Lingo Notes for non-Pittsburghers:

* Yinzer is another term for Pittsburger, because they use the word “yinz” or “yunz” (technically “you’uns”) the same way southerners use the word, “y’all.”

** “Gumband” is Pittsburghese for “rubber band”.  Really.  Yinz can look it up…