Monday, March 1, 2010

Odd Bits - Gold Medal Edition

Yesterday I professed my hope that Sidney Crosby would score a hat trick, but the USA would win 4-3. 

Well, Sid only scored one, but this was a case where 1/3 of a dream was greater than the whole.  After the US tied that game 2-2 with 28 seconds left in the game, Sidney stuck in the dagger, 7 minutes into overtime to give Canada the gold medal.  It was one of the most exciting games I’ve seen in ages.

While I was disappointed that Team USA didn’t win gold, they came much closer than anyone thought they would.  They were the youngest team in the tournament… they have much to be proud of.

I had to smile, though, watching Sid get his just reward.  I’m glad he turned out the hero, because I’m sure he would have been the goat if they lost.  And when Buffalo plays in Pittsburgh tomorrow night, I hope the fans there give Ryan Miller, the USA goalie, a rousing ovation.

Until the puck drops, that is… then it’s time to let it fly and rev up the chase for The Cup.

Hair Today, Gone Today
One of my errands this weekend was to get my hair cut.  As usual, this was a 10-minute process.  But there was a catch this time.

I always tell the Hair Cuttery stylist to leave me about an inch in the back and I usually have them do it with scissors, rather than the electric clippers.  Irina was my stylist and I’ve had her before, so I figured she knew the drill.  Next thing I know, she’s got the clippers and is going “brrrrrrr”… “brrrrrrr” and I see copious amounts of my shorn hair falling on my cape.

Um, are you leaving me that inch back there?” I asked.

I make you look bayter this way,” Irina said.  Right after she kills moose and squirrel, I’m sure.

At this point, it’s too late to do anything, so I just sat back and enjoyed it as she buzzed off everything I had left, down to a half inch.  Congratulations, Bluz, you now look like every other acorn-head office-drone across time and space.

But I’m trying to look for the bright sides though…
  • I use much less shampoo now.  Heck, bar soap will do the job.
  • I towel it dry in about 5 seconds.
  • No more hat head or bed head. 
  • No more messy hair on windy days.  Now I can roll with the windows down.  OK, not now, but come spring.
  • I can wait longer until the next haircut.
  • It’s a training step before finally shaving off the whole shebang.

The Price of Gas
So I was in the bathroom at work today, having a pee and holding in a little gas until the guy that was in there with me left.

As he opened the door and I heard the door close again, I released the hounds.  With prejudice.  What I didn’t count on was someone coming in the door at the same time the other guy went out.  Bastards…

Like I always say, if you ever get lonely in your cube, just pass a little gas.  Next thing you know, everyone shows up. 

But not for long.

Speaking of Noxious Gas…
The C Street House was the subject of a  NY Times had an editorial calling for the revocation of their tax-free status.  This is the best idea I’ve heard in ages.

Remember the C Street House?  That’s the den of iniquity that for over 70 years has supported “Christian” politicians, especially when they get caught with their pecker in a trap.  This is what I wrote about them last summer:

“I read this Salon article about a shadowy DC organization known as the C Street House. This is an organization that is propping up (mostly) Republican conservatives with undisclosed cash and providing cover when their peccadilloes come to light. (See Sanford, Mark and Ensign, John and many others.) Their core belief is that, and I’m paraphrasing, “If you come to power, it’s God’s will; therefore anything you do while in power is excused. Rules for the common man don’t apply.”

There they are again… God’s “Chosen”: staining the lives of millions with their callous power plays.

They have been around for 74 years, remaining in the shadows and twisting “God’s word” into a rationale to amass power.

Read the article, linked above. Also, Jeff Sharlet, the guy that wrote the Salon article, was on
 Real Time with Bill Maher this weekend.  He worked undercover at the C Street House and he knows of which he speaks. If it doesn’t make your skin crawl, true believer or not, I don’t want to know you. I was on vacation when I read the Salon article myself, it made me drink for 9 solid days in a row, just to numb the pain. (OK, it wasn’t just the article.)

Say what you want about religion, and I usually do, using this holy halo to obscure the very common quest for money and power is an insult to all that are true to their faith. Last I heard, Jesus threw the moneychangers out on their well-fed asses. We ought to do the same to these ass-clowns.”

The least we can do is cut them off the public teat.  If they want to play politics, then they need to pay the check just like the rest of us.  They are not, even under the most lenient definition, a “church”. 

All they are is a shadowy group of men behind Ozian curtains, gnarled hands clutching the reins of power, answerable only to themselves. 

Wait, maybe they’re more like churches than I thought.

16 comments:

  1. THE FAMILY The Secret Fundamentalism at the Heart of American Power, Jeff Sharlet, is the most frightening book I have ever read. This threat is more indidious and pervasive than anthrax and more deadly.
    No. They're not a "church". They are a cancer, growing uncontrolled and killing our country. They thrive on invisibility, anonymity. The more we identify, the less they multiply. Name names. Reveal games. Air and light cleanse corruption.

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  2. I would ask you to bring the book when we next meet up but I'd hate to ruin our vacation.

    Maybe the next time I'm sick...

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  3. This will make you sick, dear Bluz. You honor the Flying Spaghetti Deity with your picture so you are among the elect. No need to rankle yourself with C Street shit.
    Happy HairCut!

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  4. I was very pleased and proud to hear the rousing ovation they gave Miller tonight.

    Side note - is it just me, or does Brooksie have super crazy eyes? I always say, "Crazy eyes! He looks crazy with those crazy eyes..." I think it's just because they're spaced so far apart, but that's just me.

    Back to the subject -

    My favorite is how women 'delicately' handle gas in the bathroom. There's nothing dainty about gas, just pass it already.

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  5. Oh, and your whole hair debacle had me laughing out loud. My husband thought I was nuts.

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  6. Brooksie definitely had the Crazy Eyes. I mean, you get the feeling that if he looks at you, you get all queasy inside. Then your brain melts.

    If I made you LOL, then I've done my job. :)

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  7. I went to the shaved head look about ten years ago. The benefits, as you mentioned, seem to outweigh the negatives. About two years ago I tried growing it again, but after it got kind of long I realized I started to look like a darker version of Bruce Jenner. The Bruce Jenner of today. If you've seen "Keeping up with the Kardashians" you'll know that he looks pretty scary these days.

    I missed the gold medal game. Had tickets to the Globetrotters. Wouldn't you know. I had looked forward to sharing a little piece of my childhood with my kids for months and then WHAM! Both turned out to be February 28th at 3pm. Wouldn't you know it?

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  8. YAY Sidney Crosby!! Boooo Canada. Canada and I are NOT on very good terms right now.

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  9. a 10 minute haircut? Jealous. And I would never call you Acorn Head...lol.

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  10. I keep saying, if it absolutely had to be a Canadian, I'm glad it was that one. My friends and I actually spent a few minutes trying to cast what we feel is the inevitable Sidney Crosby biopic on Sunday. ("Well, if he really muscled up and put some collagen in his lips...") I loved seeing Brooks Orpik get some attention last night.

    I'm glad you have a sense of humor about the haircut thing and I'm sure you look fine, not like an acorn. Hate it when they don't listen, though. The "moose and squirrel" thing made me laugh, though, because my Russian woman gets sooooooo frustrated by that. After a particularly bad day, she once spat out, "At least the men who ask me to say that are older, so one day soon they will all be *dead*!"

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  11. Beware Russian women who wield shears! "Just put down the scissors, Natasha!"

    And C-Street house makes me think of one of my favorite Bible verses: John 2:15. "Jesus made a whip from some ropes and chased them all out."

    Love your neighbor, sure, but when it came to people acting like dicks in your name, Jesus knew that sometimes you have to take the time to make a whip and then go kick some ass.

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  12. GUY:
    My 2 best buddies back home are both bulletheads. If I did likewise, we’d walk around looking like a set of bongos. Or the Northwest Ohio Chapter of Arian Nation. So I keep the acorn.

    Gotta love the Trotters… saw them when I was a kid too. But why not DVR/VCR the game?

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  13. Katie:
    It’s OK. The Silver is no slouch. The US played over their heads and the better team won. But watch out in 4 years (if the NHL still participates). This time they were the youngest team in the draw. Next time, they’ll have Olympic experience and will be in their primes. The next time should be epic!

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  14. JennyMac:
    And the 10-minutes are from In the Door to Out the Door, including time at the checkout counter. Not to rub it in or anything… We, the Follicley Challenged, need to find our up-sides where we can.

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  15. Lilo:
    Almost spit my soda on my monitor, over your honey’s quote. Yes, it’s so true… young people have no idea who Boris Badanov is any more, so one day when all those my age are having their dirt-naps, she will be free of that albatross forever. But be sure to tell her we mean no harm…

    I always say, as soon as I retire, I’m going to grow my hair long, into a big old gray ponytail, get some little round rimless glasses and just be a total geriatric hippy.

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  16. Bagger:
    I would totally pay to see that action… Just give JC some Samuel Jackson shades and let him go at’em.

    The callous, self-serving things people do in His name make me sick. It’s people like that that make me long for an afterlife, just so they have to face up to what they’ve done on earth.

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