Sunday, May 23, 2010

Your Whitehouse Report - Part 1

Live, from Whitehouse Ohio, it's Sunday afternoon!

I got into town uneventfully, which is my favorite way to arrive.  John picked me up and we headed straight to Shawn's Irish Pub, in Waterville OH.  This location seems to be under new management every time I'm here, but they've really done it up nice this time, with lots of wood and a big U-shaped bar.  As always, the food was outstanding.
I always start with the cheeseburger, then go from there.

Rik and John's dad met us there.  I was the only one that ate, but we all had a couple of rounds.

Next stop was the grocery store, to lay in reinforcements.
I don't want to hear if from all you beer snobs.  We like the regular American shit.

Rik's girls may be all grown up but there is a new generation of rugrats in the house.

These are John's grandkids, Jaidyn and Gavyn.  Gavyn stays with John full time, his sister comes to visit every other weekend.  (long story)  

This weekend's WTF moment:

Why the HELL would anyone need a handle on a tricycle??  I mean, something like that could be handy if you're trying to teach your kid how to ride a bike without training wheels, but a tricycle??  I don't get it.  And John couldn't explain it either... Parents?  Little help here?

We were supposed to see the fabled Toledo Mudhens, but forecasts said 80% chance of rain.  So we made an executive decision and bailed.  

Well, they did eventually call the game off, so the tickets can be reused.

The first night's grilling event was to be chicken.  John's secret weapon is to soak apple-wood chips in water and add them to the coals, for a nice smokey flavor.

We also had some nice taters... it was the first of many feasts to come.

After the chicken, it was time for the Whitehouse Cornhole invitational.
Rik, demonstrating his Shaquille O'Neal bricklaying technique.

I had a pretty good night, all told.  Rik and I took 3 in a row from John and Rik's son Jacob.  The Kyrie and I won 2 of 3 from John and Jake.  Last match, Rik and I lost 2 of 3 to John and his neighbor Bob.  I tell, my cornholin' arm is in bad shape this morning, in addition to some sore thighs from bending over.  (to pick up the bags, smartass...)

Another of John's neighbors has a fresh baby, so Kyrie was all over that.
You got time, girlie, you got lots of time... 

Kyrie is already drawing rave notices as a babysitter.  Kids just seem to flock to her, especially little girls.  Jaidyn is another very "girly" girl, and looks at Kyrie like she's her fairy godmother.

After the Cornholin', we had nothing left to do but stand around and drink.  By this time, 6 of John's neighbors were on hand at the Dad Cave, so the music rolled and the drinks flowed.

John and neighbor Fran.

So it was kind of a rough morning today, but considering how much we had to drink, I don't feel too badly.  On my Bags'O Fuck scale, I feel like about 2 Bags'O Fuck, and that's not too bad.  Mostly it's just muscle fatigue.

By 10 this morning, John already had the grill going for tonight's entree:  Beef Brisket.

He cooks it at about 250 degrees for 7 hours, thus making the neighborhood drool all afternoon.  

OK, gotta catch a shower and become somewhat presentable.  I will post further updates as time allows.

Note:  I apologize if the format here isn't as tight as usual... I'm typing all this into the blogger template and I'm not fiddling with the html.  (Normally I work everything out in Word, then paste it into the template.)  So sue me... you get what you pay for!


  1. Sounds like fun!
    Although, I am sure you feel old being sore from the cornholin'.
    Glad you mentioned you were sore from bending over for the GAME, though. I could have very easily thought it was for something else... Like to tie your shoes, pick up small children, using that WTF tricycle, etc.

  2. "not fiddling with the html"???!!!OMIGOD... Now I really miss those Toledo Buds. Lovely kids. Kyrie is a knockout. Gavyn is a baby Justin. Jaidyn is definitely J.R.
    Have you considered working for GOURMET/ I could lick these pics.

  3. Woman,
    Getting old is a bitch, especially around small children...
    Even after further review, I still can't explain the WTF tricycle.

    Mary Ann,
    And you don't even LIKE the meat. Although it was excellent. Well, the flavor was outstanding, but regarding the timing, 6 hours would have been sufficient.

  4. "Why would someone need a handle on a tricycle?"

    I laughed about this. The handle is for pushing not training. If you go for a little ride around the neighborhood it's easy to push if your kid gets tired. Also, it's for control, so the wild kid doesn't decide to take on a truck or SUV!

  5. The trike thing? It's all about control, baby.

    I LOVE your beer comment. My sister would be all over that. She says she drinks for taste, not for the buzz. I say, if you think Miller Lite tastes good, then drink it! I'm not a big beer drinker. But way back when I was (before I was legal, of course) I loved New Castle Brown Ale and good 'ol Yuengling! So it's not all American, but it was good!

    Looks like you're having a terrrrrible time. Keep it up.

  6. Guy,
    Thanks for the clarification... so it's sort of like a parental override. Also shows exhibit A of why I'd be a bad parent. "Oh, you're tired now? I guess I'll just have to leave you here."

    Yeah, I admit that I like wimpy American light beer. But I like Yuengling too, on occasion. Yuengling is pretty popular around Baltimore.

  7. Buying beer at a grocery store? You just blew my mind.

  8. I have a Toledo Mudhens baseball cap! Looks like a super fun (and yummy!) time was had by all!

  9. Bagger,
    Yeah, that's another great thing about Ohio... beer and wine at the grocery store! We don't have that in Maryland either.

    How the heck did you wind up with a Mudhens hat?

  10. Where did Cornhole come from?! My dad built a big barn out back of our house a couple of years ago for his tractors but instead uses it to par-tay, and he asked for a Cornhole set for Christmas last year to put in it. I'm so amazed that more than one person knows about this game.

  11. I thought it originated in the Cincinnati area, but I could be wrong. The game is huge now, across the midwest... you can actually find it on Wii games, but it's not so provocatively named. I guarantee you that if you go to a pro sports tailgate, you'll see people playing cornhole.

  12. I don't think the above responses about the WTF can POSSIBLY be accurate. Seriously. *shrug*

    Bluz, you'd be fine as a dad. You wouldn't leave them there. You'd do what MOST parents do. You know, the ones WITHOUT a WTF trike? Pick up the damn trike with one arm and the toddler with the other one and walk them both home. Duh.

  13. Woman,
    I'd ride the trike with the kid on my shoulders.

  14. Ah, the visual images you've given me today...

  15. Woman,
    Then I've done my job!

    Re: riding the trike w/ kid on shoulders: Four years of Clown School pays off!

  16. Woman: The handle on the trike is to push. Really. As a mom who has pushed the little damn toys my kids ride, trust me that handle will save your back.

    I like bluz's solution better though.

  17. I say, get those kids some exercise! "Daddy says pedal, or else bad men will come and take you away!"

    Don't you just love strong opinions on child-raising from some douchebag that doesn't have kids?

    I know I know... it's always different when you have your own.

  18. No choice on the brisket. That's a tough cut of meat. If you want to be able to eat it you must cook it at 250 for 7 hours or 225 for 8. Chicken looked good too. Nice job on that charcoal grill! Looks like they took good care of your appetite.

    At least you called that beer what it is, "American Shit." I usually use the term "piss-water" but whatever. American beer does work well when you take a sip then stick it up a chicken's ass to make beer can chicken though.

    Good to have you back in town.


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